Change in Life: Start Over
by AnnelieseandDanni
Summary: Anneliese had everything, a cute boyfriend, popularity, success, that is until she has to move with her family and start all over...and loses more than her past...but her sanity. What will be come of her? The original characters are credited to Degrassi.
1. Summary of Characters Annliese and Danni

_**Hey Degrassi Lovers!**_

_**So, Jess and I are starting are first Degrassi Fanfic! This is kind of different than the normal writing we do, but nonetheless, I believe it is still good. If you enjoy this, please are others. Jess has the POV of Danni, while I have the POV of Anneliese.**_

_**This is the POV's of Anneliese and Danni and how they deal and face their problems. Nobody life is perfect, even if you try to portray that.**_

_**Anneliese Tasker was born into a family where money was not an issue. She was the only child and can be spoiled at times. She has an "amazing" boyfriend, she thinks, popularity, and success in anything. However, she moves to Canada and begins to attend Degrassi Community School. She befriends with Sav and Danni later in the story. However he life isn't all that great, she gets abused, deals with an alcoholic, and cannot get over the fact what James does.**_

_**Daniella "Danni" Colvin has never had it easy: torn apart by the death of her twin brother Corey at the age of 6, her father abandons her and her mother. Not able to handle the burden, Danni's mother dropped her off at her grandmother's and hasn't been seen since. Now beginning her senior year at Degrassi Community School, she finds friendship in another girl, Anneliese Tasker. Finally beginning to settle into what seems to be "The Good Life", Danni's life is turned upside down once again by three things: Eli Goldsworthy, a tragic death, and a battle with an illness that may take her life in the end.**_

_**This story contains: humour, romance, betrayal, violence, drama, and murder.**_

_**All of the newer characters of Degrassi are in this story, with some scenes with cast members from previous seasons.**_

_**We hope you enjoy this story, as much as we have when we write it. And please leave reviews, and if it sucks, let us know, that way we can improve coming chapters.**_

_**~Becca and Jess**_


	2. Character Sheet

Anneliese Rachel Tasker  
June 10th 1995, 17  
Playby: Shailene Woodley

Blake Vanderbilt  
April 30th 1995, 17  
Playby: Avan Jogia

Daniella Elizabeth Colvin  
March 16th 1995  
Playby; Michelle Trachtenberg

Connor Liam Phelps  
January 12th 1995  
Playby; Yusuke Yamamoto 


	3. 1 Change in Life: Start Over

"Mom, but why?" I complained rolling my eyes, "I don't want to move to Canada."  
"Well too bad, it's not your call Anneliese. Your father has a better job in Toronto, so we will be moving the end of this week."  
And that was it; she just walked out my room, leaving me thinking that it was still unfair. I am leaving my boyfriend, my friends, school, and everything that have I built here. I would have to start all over and only be able to talk to my boyfriend over the phone and see him on holidays.

I sat down on my bed, pouting more than anything, staring at the four walls that had all my memories. Pictures of my friends and me at the amusement park two years ago filled the walls. That was really fun, especially when Janice got stuck in one of the rides, yelling "help me you idiots!" I let out a small laugh, not at this particular event, but at all the stupid things that my friends and I have done. Then I turned my attention to a picture of my boyfriend, James, and I on our first date. James was too adorable in this picture, hanging upside down off of the monkey bars in our local park.

I let out a long sigh, believing that this whole idea was stupid. Why couldn't I stay with my grandmother, that way I could continue going to school here and I could be around James and my friends? I took one of my pillows, placed it into my mouth, and let out a loud scream. I jerked my head up, seeing my father standing in the doorway.

"Aka, what is that all about?" he said, one of his brows cocked.  
After he went to Japan, he stated calling me Aka, which means Baby, instead of my actual name.  
"Sorry Dad…it's just…why can't I stay with Grandma?" I said, lowering the pillow from my mouth.  
"Because your grandmother has done her job raising kids, and you are coming with us, no ifs, ands, or buts." He said, leaving me be.

It wasn't fair…why did I have to give my life up, just because he decides to change job positions. I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was a quarter to eleven, so I pulled the covers back, turning my light off, and went to bed.

The morning was not better. Mother was already gone to work and my father was at the table eating an English muffin. I sat in the chair in front of him, taking a piece of toast and biting into it. The crunching sound of it must have been getting on his nerves because he got up and walked out the house for work. I sighed, not ready for school, but had no choice but to go, since this would be the last time I would see my friends.

The bus ride was a blur, but seeing everyone's faces brought tears to my face.  
"Ann, what's wrong girl?" Crystal asked.  
"Um…actually Chris…Friday is my last day here." I sighed.  
Crystal was about my height, pale skin, petite, with blonde hair down her back. She also was my best friend.  
"What? Why?"  
"My father received a better job position in Toronto."  
"Wait…that's in Canada!" She exclaim, making things worse.  
"I know…please don't remind me."  
"But what are you going to do about James?" she asked, curiously.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about me?" James' voice came over my shoulder.  
"Hey baby…" I greeted him.

James was too cute, black hair down to his shoulders, neatly cut, brown eyes, a lot taller than me, and personality that is like no other.

"Now what are you two talking about?" he asked, interested now.  
"Ann is moving this Friday to Canada!" Chris said, as if she was happy to get rid of me.  
"Thanks a lot of Chris." I said, and then turned to James, "but yeah, I'm moving Friday. I'm still going to come for holidays and when I can."  
"Sounds like a plan. Hey it's OK. I will be here waiting for every moment I can get with you. I love you." James said kissing my lips softly.

He always knew how to make a bad situation better. He walked me to class, kissed me goodbye and walked away. My first class, history, a bore! After telling all of my friends that I would be leaving Friday, some cried, while others were happy to get rid out me.

After school, I went back home, and repeated this routine until Thursday. After school, James and I went off on a date to have the last night to ourselves. We made out during the whole movie, and he kept trying to feel me up, however, I pushed his hands off of me. I was 17, a virgin, and was not planning to lose it this way.

"I thought you would have liked to make love before you left." James said, trying to convince me otherwise.  
"No, James, I don't want to lose my virginity like this. I want it to be romantic, not in a run-down theater."  
" I understand" his voice was kind of harsh, "How about I take you home?"  
I nodded, not believing that he was pissed because I would not sleep with him.

Once I got home, I finished packing the remaining clothes in my closet, and carried all of my boxes into Dad's black Z71 truck. I decided I should go to bed since the move would be really early.

The clock went off at 3AM, aggravated at the annoying shrieks of the clock; I threw it across the room, breaking it into a million pieces. I heard footsteps approaching my door and my mother's voice, "Anneliese, what was all of that about?"  
"Nothing, I just knocked the clock off of the nightstand."

Surprisingly, that worked because I heard her footsteps cease from the door. I stand up on the bed, cleaning the nasty substances from my eyes. I walked over to my closet, taking out the only hanger that hung lonely on the closet rod. After getting dressed, I headed downstairs to where my parents where. My mother was too happy for her own good, as for my father was sipping on his coffee.

"Anneliese, when we get to Toronto, we are going to go and register you at Degrassi Community School." My mother's voice was beginning to get on my last nerve. A person should not be this happy about moving.

I nodded because that was all I could do without blowing up. I crossed my arms, walked out of the door, leaving everything I have ever come to know. My friends, my boyfriend, my accomplishments at school, my popularity, everything.

It took four hours before we got into the small town where I would now be residing. In all honesty, it was not that bad, but I wanted to move back to _my_ home. We continued past the town for some time before my father pulled into a driveway that led to a two-story house. It was a lot bigger than our old house, but still it was not _mine_.

My father got out of his truck and told my mother and me to go to Degrassi Community School to register me. And that is what we went and did. My first impression of Degrassi…well it was different from my old school. It was smaller and the student body, well what I seen, was freakish. I followed my mother into the principal office, to see if I was qualified to attend here.  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Tasker, but Mr. Simpson, our principal, is not in at the moment. So without his consent we cannot add Anneliese to the student roster." The receptionist said.  
My mother handed the woman a piece of paper with her cell phone number on it, "Call me when he gets in, please."  
The woman nodded and replied, "Yes Mrs. Tasker. He shouldn't be gone too long, but while you two are waiting, how about looking around the campus. Just don't forget your visitor passes."

I clipped my pass to my jeans and walked out of the door, hoping my mother would take the hint and let me look on my own, but of course she did not. She was in step with me, which embarrassed the hell out of me because I was 17 and my mother was walking beside me at school. The only good things were that there were no students in the hallway since school already started.

Degrassi was a typical school, classrooms on each side of the hall, a gym, a cafeteria, different clubs, etc. I sighed, taking in what my new life would be consisted of and I had one word for it…shit! After taking the tour of the campus, my mother and I headed back to the principal's office to see if he came in and the receptionist forgot to call us. But it was no luck, Mr. Simpson did not return and my mother and I were stuck in the lobby outside of his office until he decided to return.

Time continues to go by and when I finally looked up at the clock, it revealed that it was almost four. School was officially over and yet Mr. Simpson still was not back. I glanced over at my mother and I could tell that she was getting annoyed. At a quarter after four, the receptionist called us up to the desk and I finally got to meet the no-show Mr. Simpson. He was tall like my father, almost completely baled, clean shaved, but even though features cannot replace the time my mother and I wasted waiting on him.  
"I'm very sorry that you two waited so long for me" he apologized, "Welcome to Degrassi! I am Mr. Simpson, the principal here. I think you would love it here. Make sure you sign up for some of our clubs and after school activities."

I couldn't believe that after all this time; he didn't even look at my paperwork or anything, just automatically accepted me. The receptionist handed me what would be my schedule starting Monday. I saw that I had the exact same course I had back at my school. With this in mind, I wondered if they had a student council. I was president back at my school and I wondered if I could run for that.  
"Um…Mr. Simpson, do you have a student council here?"  
"Actually we do, however, elections were already held" I guess he saw my face drop when he said that, "but go to Room 301 and ask for Sav. He is the current president and I am sure he would work with you."

I thanked him, really annoyed now, because back at _my_ school I was the president and I didn't want to have my ideas shared with someone else, unless of course if it was for the student body. I left my mom to talk to Mr. Simpson while I went to Room 301 to see what this Sav had to say.

I finally found room 301; it was a normal classroom, however empty except for one guy. He was sitting down at a desk, his brown skin, as if it was simmering underneath the light and short black hair. If I was correct, he was Muslim, but I didn't want to say anything just in case I was wrong. He looked up, his brown eyes greeting a friendly hello.

"Yes, how can I help you?" he asked.  
"Um…yeah. Is this the student council meeting?"  
"Actually it is, even though it's kind of dead today." He laughed, his smile was gorgeous.  
"A lot of students do not like coming up with ideas to help others." I announced sitting down beside him.  
He laughed again, "That is true. You must be new to Degrassi" when I nodded he extended his hand, "I'm Sav Bhandari."  
I took his hand, warm against my own flesh, "Nice to meet you Sav, I'm Anneliese Tasker" waiting for a response, however I did not get one, so I released his hand and continued, "If it's not too much to ask, could I help you with the student council? I was president at my school and maybe I could help."  
"That would be great." He words were warming.

I heard the creek of the door, seeing a girl about medium height with strawberry blonde hair, glaring at me.  
"What the hell Sav! I am vice-president, not this wannabe!" her voice was harsh.  
"Um…excuse me? Wannabe?" I snapped back  
"Yeah, you got a problem with that!"  
"No, at least I'm not fake, unlike you."  
"What are you talking about, wannabe?"  
"Honey, we can tell that you're not a true blonde. So how about you at your fake ass back out of this room before I throw you out!" I retorted.

The girl stomped out of the door, slamming it behind her.  
"Wow! Nobody has ever talked to Holly J. like that before. I'm impressed." Sav laughed.  
"Well nobody calls me a wannabe and gets away with it." I reminded him.  
He got up out of his chair and walked toward the door, "Well the meeting is now over, however you are more than welcome to join us everyday right after school."  
I nodded and followed behind him, when all of a sudden something wet hit me on my chest. I looked up, half embarrassed, half pissed, when I saw that girl, Holly J. laughing.

"That's for earlier, wannabe." She snapped, stomping off.  
Sav handed me a tissue, "Welcome to Degrassi."


	4. 2 Change in Life: The Beginning

"Well, this is it. No going back now," I thought to myself, an envelope clutched tightly in my hands. I looked up at the entrance to Degrassi Community School, where I would be beginning my Senior Year the next day. But I had a feeling that nothing was going to go as planned...

With a heavy sigh, I walked inside the building, walking toward the principal's office. Grams had explained I was supposed to meet with Mr. Simpson, the principal, at 4:30, and according to my watch, I was 15 minutes early. Hopefully I could meet with him and head back home. My day had been long already, and if this meeting ran long, I figured I would lose my mind.

I walked into the office and spoke to the receptionist. "Excuse me, I have an appointment with Mr. Simpson," I said. She nodded and picked up the phone, informing Mr. Simpson of my arrival. The door behind her desk opened, and a tall man walked out. "Ah, you must be Daniella Colvin," he said with a smile. "Come in, come in." He ushered me into his office, and I politely followed behind.

He motioned for me to take a seat at his desk, and I did so as I looked him over. He was tall, he was baled and had a clean shaven face. All in all, not what you'd expect a principal to look like. He gave me a smile and began to talk about Degrassi, and what was expected of me as a student. It was pretty much common sense stuff: don't cross any lines, keep your nose clean, and you'd be alright.  
"Now, I believe on the phone your grandmother told me that you were home-schooled?" he asked. I nodded and handed him the note that explained everything. After reading it over, he placed it in my file and gave me another smile, along with my schedule.

"Well, that's about it. Welcome to Degrassi, Ms. Colvin," he shook my hand and opened his office door, letting me step out before him. I gave him and his receptionist a smile and walked out into the hallway, looking down at my schedule. It didn't seem to be too complicated, and thankfully I didn't have to do gym. But then again, Grams wouldn't allow it, and I was thankful for that much.

I saw my locker number at the top of the paper and figured I might as well try to find it while no one else was here. I began going down the first hallway, looking around. It seemed like a normal school, classrooms, a cafeteria, library, gym, the usual stuff. It'd been a long time, almost four years, since I'd been in a public school, but it felt like just yesterday now that I was walking the halls of Degrassi.  
I finally found my locker, number 214 on the second hallway. I turned the dial with my combination and it clicked open. On the inside, I pulled a picture out of my messenger bag along with a roll of tape, and put the it on the inside of the door. Stepping back, I looked at the photo: two children, a boy and girl, smiling happily over a Pokemon birthday cake with six candles sticking out of the top. Written in red and purple icing were the words "Happy Birthday Corey and Danni"...

I smiled and kissed my fingers, putting them over the face of the little boy. "Well Corey, looks like you can go through Senior Year with me after all," I said quietly. Corey was my twin brother. He passed away shortly after the picture was taken, his life cut short by a battle with Leukemia too advanced for him to overcome. Though by looking at the picture, you'd have never known he was sick. His bright blue eyes shown like little sapphires, and his face appeared so happy...  
I had to wipe the tears from my eyes, glad no one was around to see me like this. I hated when people saw me cry: I'd rather keep up a front than to let people see my true emotions. With a quick look at the picture one last time, I shut the locker and sighed. I was ready to go home.

Before I could take a step, I heard voices, the sound of a splash, and laughter. Thinking I might have been losing it, I walked around the corner to see a girl and a guy standing beside each other, looking up at the second floor stairwell. The girl's shirt looked wet, and she looked embarrassed. I guessed someone just pelted her from above, and that the guy might have just seen. I usually wouldn't try and get involved in something like this, but I knew how embarrassing stuff like that could be.

I walked over, pulling my dark blue hoodie out of my bag and going to hand it to the girl. "Here," I said, handing it to her. "Just in case you want to change." I went to walk past, but the guy's voice spoke out, "Danni?" I turned around, not believing my ears. "Sav?" I asked, now recognizing him. I hadn't seen him in years, and a smile crossed my face as he came up and gave me a huge hug.

"It's so good to see you," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "How have you been?" We parted, and I took a good look at him. The last time I had seen Sav, we were in our freshman year back at Lakehurst High School, before it burned down. He had grown up a lot since then, and I was glad to know I was going to have a friend at Degrassi.

"I've been alright," I replied, "Grams home-schooled me up until this year. You know, being all protective until I begged her to let me finish out my last year in a real high school." He nodded, "Well, I'm glad you'll be here. Degrassi's nothing like Lakehurst." He then turned to the girl whom I'd given my hoodie to. "This is Anneliese Tasker. She's new to Degrassi too. Anneliese, this is my friend Danni Colvin." I extended my hand and she did the same, "Nice to meet you," I said with a smile. "You too," she replied, smiling warmly. "Thanks for this," she continued, holding up my hoodie.

"It's cool," I replied, "I have a hundred of them, you can keep that one. At least you won't have to walk around with a wet shirt. In fact," I continued, "If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"  
"Holly J. happened," Sav explained, and I tisked in disgust, "Typical," I replied, my hatred for Holly J. rushing back as if it never left. She and I used to hate each other, and I was glad I hadn't seen her do this to Anneliese, or I would have gotten kicked out of school before I even started. "Trust me, you're better to stick with Sav than go anywhere near Holly J. She's the typical Alpha Bitch: Challenge her; she'll cut you to bits. Although," I continued, rubbing my chin and looking Anneliese over. "You might be the one person who could whip her ass and hand it to her on a silver platter."

That made her crack a smile, and I was glad to see she seemed pretty laid back. I had a feeling I could become good friends with her, if she hung around me and Sav. "Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself," she replied, tugging the hoodie over her head. "The next time I see that bitch, I'm gonna slap her back to last week."

I laughed a little. "Well, I'd love to stick around, but I have band practice. I'll catch you guys tomorrow, ok?" I flashed them both a smile and then gave Sav a smirk, "And if you see Holly J., let her know I'm back in the fold. I'm sure that'll bring her down a few notches off the ego meter."

I made my way out of the building, walking down the sidewalk toward home. I pulled my MP3 player from my pocket and started playing My Savior by Dead by April, the song I used to clear my mind.  
Just as I came to a crosswalk, I happened to look up and saw a hearse coming down the road. A chill ran down my spine as it came closer to me, and it slowed down to go the 35 mph speed limit. This allowed me to get a good look at the driver, a guy my age...he had dark brown hair, cut emo style, and eyes to match. He seemed to stare straight through me as he drove pass me, then snapped his head back and slammed on the gas, speeding away.

The scary thing was? It was when the lyrics "I'm free, you are my savior," played when his eyes met mine...and that unforgettable chill hit me, making me mutter, "Damn...I want my hoodie back..."


	5. 3 Change in Life: Wrong Introductions

"So you, Danni, and Holly J went to school with each other before, huh?" I asked  
"Yes, we did. Even back then Holly J acted like that. I figured maybe over the years she would have outgrown that." He said, ending in a sigh, and then looked at me, "you know, that hoodie makes you."  
I laughed, "Oh shut up!"  
"Haha, I'm not kidding!"  
We both continued laughing until my mother had to ruin the moment.

She stood at the end of the hall, with a hand on her hip, yelling my name over and over. How much embarrassment was she planning to put me in.  
"Sorry Sav, but my mom must be in a hurry. But I'll see you after school Monday." I yelled over my shoulder as I ran to my mother.

He waved and then was out of sight. My mother was quiet until we got into the car.  
"Anneliese, what the hell was that all about?" her tone was harsh.  
"What are you talking about, Mom?"  
"That boy and what the hell are you wearing? You know the rules!"  
"Mom, I got water spilt on me and this girl lend her hoodie to me, and as for the guy, he is the president of the student council." I retorted back at her, I really wish she stayed off of my back.

She brought the car engine to life, and began to chew my ass out all the way home. It was mainly about how stupid I was because I was already making the wrong friends with people that she categorized as hoodlums. However, none of her verbal crap bothered me except when she started talking about Sav.

"Anneliese, I do not want you to hang around that guy," her voice was sharp "you know...that...you're better than what he is."  
"Mom! I can't believe you are playing the racist card!" I snapped, one thing my parents has always told me was not to be racist, "just because he's Muslim, that's doesn't mean anything! Besides, he will be my classmate only, nothing more. Also, did you forget that I have a boyfriend?"  
"No, I know that you are dating James, however, I forbid you to be around that boy, do you hear me?"  
"Fine whatever." I said giving up. Besides, I could still talk to him at school and she wouldn't have to know.

Once we got home, my father was outside washing his truck. I got out of the truck, slamming the door, and stomped up to my room. It wasn't the fact that I wanted to hang with Sav, because I barely knew him anyway, but for her to forbid me, she's got another thing coming.

I grabbed my cell phone, dialing James' number, however only received his voicemail.  
"Hey baby, I was calling to see what you were up to, so if you would please call me back. Anytime is fine. I love you, James. Bye."  
I disconnected the call and threw my phone onto my bed, collapsing beside it. Today was a total hell. First off, had to wait on Mr. Simpson's ass; second, got soaked and an enemy out of the girl, Holly J. and third my mother forbid me to talk to someone that I don't even really know.

I sighed, looking at the new room that I would have to call mine. I saw the packed up boxes beside what is suppose to be my closet. I decided that I would unpack, that way I could calm down and not flip out on my parents. That would be hell to be grounded on the first day on school.

After two hours of unpacking, I realized that I had a lot of stuff. However, I had this room looking pretty damn good, even though it still wouldn't be called my own. A knock came outside of my door, and to my surprise it was my dad.

"Aka, we need to talk." His voice was soft and calm, "your mother told me what happen today. I know that you feel like we are unfair at times, but let me reassure you, that we only what is best for you."  
"I know that Dad, but forbidding me to talk to someone that would only be my friend. That is kind of harsh, don't you think? Anyway mom and you have always told me not to judge someone by the color of their skin, and I'm not going to start now. So if you want to ground me, then go ahead, but I'm not going against my beliefs."

And before I knew it, he pulled me into an embrace, "That's my girl."  
I was glad that he was agreeing with me for once and I hugged him back until he released me. He went to walk out my door when he called back, "by the way, if you do decide to date this boy, how about we keep it between me and you, until I talk your mother down, OK?"  
I grabbed the pillow on my bed and chunked it at the door, laughing, "Dad!"  
I couldn't believe what he just said. I mean, Sav seemed like a nice guy, but I already had my guy and I love him greatly. I rolled my eyes, finally taking off Danni's hoodie, and then folded it up neatly. I would return it, first thing Monday morning.

Two hours later, my cell phone went off, looking before I answered it, I saw that it was James.  
"Hello?" my voice was quick and sharp.  
"Hey beautiful. I've missed you. School isn't the same without you." His voice was soft.  
"I know and I'm sorry about this. I will make it up to you, somehow."  
"Baby, it's OK. I understand the situation. So please don't worry about it" he reassured me, "but you are coming back when prom rolls around right?"  
"Of course. I wouldn't want to go with anyone else except you."  
"That makes me feel better. I was afraid you would meet someone up there and forget about me."  
"Please don't ever think that. Nobody could ever take your place." I went quiet because of a feminine voice coming through the receiver.  
"Um...James, who the hell is that?" I asked, my suspensions rising.  
"Oh, baby, that's the TV, so relax, OK." he paused for a moment and then continued, "well I got to go, I'll talk to you later baby. Night and I love you."  
Before I could respond, he had already hung up. How rude could he be? I thought to myself, but shook it off.

I didn't have time to worry about his crap; I had to get up early in the morning to go shopping for school clothes. I had plenty of clothes, however, my mother insisted to go and get me some more. I crawled into bed, falling asleep quickly.

When the clock went off, I opened my eyes, jumping up out of fright, seeing my mother staring at me.  
"Mother-"  
Before I could say anything else, she cut me off, "Anneliese, didn't I tell you to throw away that filthy piece of clothing?"  
"Mom, if you paid any attention to me yesterday, I told you that it wasn't mine; it was a girl's at school. I'm returning it to her Monday morning."  
"I heard you, but I want that piece of trash out of my home." She snapped.  
"Mom, I can't do that...if it was mine I would, but it's not, so I can't."

Right after I finished my statement, her hand went across my face, leaving behind a sharp burning sensation. I didn't want to show tears, not to her anyway, but I couldn't help but let some out since it hurt like hell.

"Don't back talk me!" she yelled.  
I guess my father heard the slap because he entered my room, narrowing his eyes at the sight of my red cheek.  
"Natalie, what the hell did you do to her?" he was sharp and firm.  
"She was back talking me..."  
"About what?"  
"About getting rid of that damn sweater!"  
"Aka, is that true?" he asked me softly.  
"Yes sir, but the hoodie is not mine. It is a girl's at school and I was going to return it to her Monday morning." I pleaded my case to him.  
Father turned back to Mother, "Natalie, leave her alone and if you ever put your hands her again like that, I will divorce your ass, and Aka comes with me. Maybe it's time to start doing your therapy again."

Mother left my room, not saying another word, while Father gave me three hundred dollars to go shopping. "It's gonna be OK, sweetheart. I think your mother is going through relapse again, so please bear with her attitude." He said, kissing my forehead.

I change into a T-shirt and a pair of jeans and headed to the mall.  
I bought three different outfits, and had enough money left over to buy a vanilla-chocolate milkshake. I went over to the concession stand and order my milkshake.

As I was waiting, I saw a guy with black hair, dressed in black clothing, being punched around by another guy. I walked over to where they where and said, "Um...what are you doing, leave him alone!" getting in between them.  
"Bitch, get out of the way!" he growled.  
"Look here, how about you fight me? I would be glad to beat your ass!" I smirked, allowing the other guy to get to his feet.  
"What's this? You're going to double team me?" he laughed.  
"No, asshole, I'm going to call the cops!" I really was enjoying myself now.

The bully took off, yelling over his shoulder, "This isn't over yet!"  
I yelled back, "Yeah, it is!"  
The other guy walked over to me, "Thanks about that...I didn't need saving..."  
"Oh, really? How about I call him back here to finish beating your ass then?" I said, sarcastically.  
He rolled his eyes, "Well thanks...what's your name?"  
"I'm Anneliese Tasker. And you?"  
"Eli Goldsworthy...thanks once again Anneliese..." he said walking away.

What a weird kid, I thought to myself. I shrugged my shoulders and headed back home. Thankfully, Mother was not home, and I could relax. I hung my new clothes in my closet, and rearrange my room until it was absolutely perfect. After finishing my room, I went and ate a light dinner and went to bed.

The rest of the weekend was a blur, until the alarm clock grabbed my attention. It was Monday morning, and school was soon going to start. I was thirty minutes behind and still had to get dress. I quickly got dressed, and waited in Dad's truck to take me to school. He dropped me off at High School Hell.

To my surprise, the classes here, were not that boring, however the students here, something was wrong with them. Second period, I had class with Danni, and I returned her hoodie back to her. She thanked me. Once second period was over, I went to lunch, deciding to get a salad, and then had to come to a decision where to sit.

Sav motioned for me to sit with him and Danni.  
"So Anneliese how was your first class?" he asked, sounding interested.  
"Good, but is it me, or is some of the students here...um...different?" that was the only word I could think of, without sounding like a cold-hearted bitch.  
He let out a smile laugh, "Yeah, but I think it's because they don't care about school and would rather be somewhere else."  
"I agree with Sav...each school has their...prize student..." Danni added in.  
I nodded, agreeing with them. I finished my lunch and headed to third period, and I had this class with Sav. It was a history class, one of my poorer courses. Sav sat next to me, and wrote a note reminding me that student council was meeting today after school. I smiled at him, to show my appreciation that he reminded me.

This class was actually more interesting than back at my school. The teacher seemed to know more about the facts over time. I wrote down some notes, but couldn't help but doddle James' name on the paper. His named was covered with hearts and flowers, the only things that I was really good at drawing at, to represent my love and thoughts for him. Sav must have saw James' name, because he wrote me a note, saying "who is James?" I wrote back saying that it was my boyfriend back home, and after that Sav replied by saying Oh.

Class was over, and I left to fix my hair in the restroom, before going to my next class...public speaking. Once I was done, I went to the classroom 306 and took a seat in the front of the room. After the bell rung, I was surprised to hear Holly J.'s name on the student attendance. Apparently Miss Bitch had a class with me, and that meant rivalry. I could feel someone's eyes peering at me, and I knew that it was her, but I acted as if it didn't bother me, at all.

Classes for today were finally over, as I made my way out of the classroom. I walked five rooms down to where the student council meeting would be held. When I entered the classroom, Sav was already present. I sat down next to him, "Hey stranger..." it sounded so lame, but that was the only thing I could think of.  
"Haha! Hey! We will wait five minutes to see who shows up and then we will begin."  
I nodded. That gave me a chance to work on my assignments. The homework was not that different, so I was able to finish up quick.

After the five minutes past, it was just Sav and me, so we began to talk about school issues. I was astonished about how many students in this school that did poorly. True enough, school was not for everyone, but not even attempting, that was horrible.

Sav continued on with how Degrassi was going down the academic chain, and that is where the student council comes in, to help to fix it.  
"Sav...we can't make anyone do anything...so how is that going to work?"  
"That's true, but holding school dances and activities that get them out off class would motivate them to try harder."  
"That does make sense."  
I stood up on one of the desk, "we could start different activities, such as prep rallies, and pizza parties."  
He laughed at me, "Yes that would work." He then joined me, then took my hands and pulled me to him, "Dance competitions..." and then dipped me.

Our fun was interrupted with a slam of the door, "what the hell is this?"  
"That must be Holly J." I said as Sav lifted me up.  
"Sav, I thought you didn't want to date anyone, and you're in here with this...slut!"  
"Holly J.! Anneliese isn't a slut, we are talking about how to get students to do better in academics and we got carried away." He said protecting me.  
"And besides, if I wanted him, I could have him." I smirked, seeing her expression drop, "anyway, I have a boyfriend, so don't worry."

Once again, Holly J. stomps out of the door, leaving Sav and me. I looked at Sav, feeling an awkward atmosphere.  
"Wow...so if you wanted me, you could have me, huh?"  
"Haha...sorry, I got carried away. But hey, it worked!" I smiled, shrugging my shoulders.

We both laughed and continued with the idea of how to improve the student body, academically. About ten minutes later, a girl with long straight black hair and brownish skin came into the room.  
"Sav...we need to head home..." she said, getting Sav's full attention.  
"Sav go ahead and go. I'll finish up here."  
"Thanks, Anneliese." He said, hugging me.  
I could feel my face going red, however I didn't understand why. He then released me from his embrace, and walked out of the room with the young girl.

I sighed, placing my hand against my chest. My heart was pounding so hard, I thought it was going to burst. I shook my head, denying anything my head would possibly come up with. I grabbed my book bag and turned the light off behind me.

Walking down the empty halls was like I was in solitary confinement, being punished by my own thoughts. I couldn't reason with the facts that I was attracted to Sav, and if I wasn't with James, I would try to go out with him, however, I also had to reason with that Sav is too good for me. I sighed once again, when I felt a gentle touch against my shoulder. I turned around, a smile crossing my face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, "I thought you had to leave?"  
"I did, but I was wondering…" Sav dropped his gaze to the floor.  
"You was wondering what?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.  
"Um…if you wanted to…come over for dinner tonight?" his voice volume was ceasing.  
I was shocked from his question, but at the same time, flattered.  
"Sav, why me?" I asked, raising one of my brows.  
"You don't have to" his face was becoming a burnt color.  
"Sav" I took his hand, "I would like that."

A smile crawled across his face, as he walked me to his car. I called my dad, to tell him that I had plans after school and that I had a ride home. However, I decided not to tell him that I was going over to a guy's house or that it was Sav.

Sav's vehicle was nothing that I would have expected from him.  
"This is my dad's, but he let me borrow it today because of the meeting."  
Well, my questions were just answered. I sat back taking in the view, as we approached Sav's house.  
His house was not bad actually, it was normal, like most houses in this town.

He opened the door for me, and we entered his house. It was really cozy, I could tell he was family orientated, which wasn't a bad thing. However, I felt like an outsider, because I heard that Muslim families weren't allowed to have people outside of their culture in their homes, or lives. I hoped his family didn't shun me just because I was not Muslim.

The first person I met was his mother; she was beautiful and very polite and acted as if she liked me, so I was a little bit more relieved.  
"So, Anneliese, your family and you just moved here, huh?"  
"Yes, ma'am. My dad had a better job position here, so we moved."  
I could feel her eyes judging me, "So, tell me a little about your family and yourself."  
I really didn't want to answer this question, but I didn't want to keep anything from Sav either.  
"Well my dad travels a lot due to his job, so it's normally my mother and I. I was president of every club and after school activities at my school, and I was a straight A student."  
"That's impressive. Sav is a straight A student as well and is the president of the student council."  
I don't know if she was trying to make me feel inferior or what not, but it was really annoying.  
She went inside the other room and called Sav to come there for a moment. I sat down at the table, waiting patiently for Sav's return. I looked around the kitchen, it was warm and homey.

Moments later, Sav returned and sat down beside me. He flashed a smile my way, "so what do you think?"  
"Your home is very warm and homey, and I like your mom." I said being honest.  
"Wow…that's a shocker! Most girls do not like my parents."  
"Well, Sav, I'm not like most girls" I smiled.  
"I know, and that is why I like you."  
"Sav! Your father will be home shortly, so you and Anneliese go and wash up for dinner." His mother called out.

I followed Sav to the bathroom, washed my hands, and returned back to the kitchen table. When I entered, I saw a man, with a strict face and glaring judging eyes. I assumed that it was Sav's father, one for the resemblance and two, he was judging me like his mother did.

"Dad, this is Anneliese. She just moved here and is helping me with the student council." Sav said introducing me to his father.  
"Nice to meet you Mr. Bhandari." I said, extending my hand.  
"Yes…"  
That was all he had to say. Halfway through dinner, I excused myself to the restroom and on my return; I overheard Sav's parents yelling at him about me.

"What were you thinking about bringing her here? I thought you learned that when you brought that last girl home." He father exclaimed.  
"Dad, Anneliese and I are friends, and we were going to work on the project for student council. I figured since it was for school, it would have been OK!"  
I walked back into the bloodbath argument. I hung my head down low and said softly, "Mr. Bhandari, I am sorry that I am imposing. I understand your views on things, I will leave" I stopped looked at Mrs. Bhandari, "Dinner was amazing Mrs. Bhandari, thank you" and then I looked at Sav while getting up, "Thanks Sav for inviting me. I'll see you at school OK"  
And like that I walked out the door, somewhat heartbroken, and walked home.


	6. 4 Change in Life: Experiences

After the incident with the guy and the hearse, I had the hardest time getting the scene out of my mind. Just the chill I got when his eyes met mine made it hard for me to concentrate on anything else.  
It became pretty obvious when I got to band practice that afternoon. I was 15 minutes late getting to Nick's garage, where we met every Friday. Nick Balvadier, the self proclaimed leader of our band, Blackmarket Brides, and my neighbor from up the street, glared at me when I came through the garage door.

"Danni, where have you been?" he questioned me as I walked past him and over to my guitar. I was too tired to deal with him, and didn't want to snap. But as I was plugging in everything, he walked over, looking me directly in the eyes.

"Fess up. What's going on? You're never late."  
I rolled my eyes and simply said, "I had to register at Degrassi, ok? They kept me over to talk about some things and gave me a tour of the school. Now can we worry more on practice than where I was?"

He shook his head and walked over to the mike stand. Our three other members, Kasey Mitchel, drummer, Dillon Keller, basest, and Rafe Driggers, keyboardist, were already set up and waiting for us.  
Nick looked over his shoulder at me but said to everyone else, "In Transit is our first song, then Strange. Danni's singing the lyrics to that one, and I'll be backup vocals." Everyone nodded, and Rafe brought us in for In Transet.

As I played along, I found myself thinking of the guy in the hearse again. What was the look he gave me for? It was like he was looking straight into my soul or something...  
We ran through a few songs, including Strange. That was my song, and though I didn't write it, I felt like I was made to sing it. It expressed exactly how I felt most of the time, but I never told anyone that. It wasn't that I was afraid to; I just didn't want to express what I was thinking. I knew no one would understand it, so why bother putting myself on the spot like that?

We finished up around 6, and I headed home to start on dinner. I knew Nick wanted to chew me out some more, but I didn't give him the chance. As soon as we finished the last bit, I took off without a word.

About 10 minutes later, I walked into the front door, calling out that I was home. I heard the TV in the living room, and I walked in to find Grams watching Wheel of Fortune. "Come on, it's 'California Dreamin' It's not that hard to figure out," she yelled at the person on the screen, and I rolled my eyes with a quiet giggle. "Grams, you know they can't hear you right?" I said, coming into the room and kissing her cheek.

She just laughed, "Danni, you'd be surprised at what the television can and can't hear."  
I shook my head and headed into the kitchen, putting on a pot of water to boil. While it heated up, I took out some tomatoes and spices to make homemade pasta sauce.

When the water came to a boil, I dropped the noodles in and let the boil. "How did things go today?" Grams asked, coming into the kitchen and grabbing two plates as I drained the noodles in the sink.  
"Fine, fine," I replied, now mixing everything together. "Do you remember Sav?" She nodded, "Your friend from Lakehurst, right?" I nodded in agreement, "Yeah. Turns out he's at Degrassi, so I'll have a friend there."

"That's good to hear dear," she said, helping me put the finishing touches on the pasta. We took our plates into the dining room and sat down to eat. That was one thing that Grams always insisted on: no matter what went on during the day, we always made time to have dinner together.

"I think this is your best recipe yet Danni," Grams remarked after a few bites. I smiled and took another bite. "Well, I learned it all from the best. Give yourself the credit." She laughed a little and sighed as she finished up.

"Are you excited to start school again?" I shrugged, "Well, somewhat. I mean, it's just high school after all." She shook her head as I took her plate along with mine to the kitchen. "Danni, you have to start enjoying being a teenager. Otherwise before you know it, you'll be my age and missing those years like nobody's business."

I shook my head as I washed the dishes, "I know Grams, I know. It's just...hard, you know?" I heard the chair scraping the floor and soft footsteps, and seconds later, Grams turned me around and looked at me with a soft expression of love. "I know sweetheart. God knows life's been hard on you, but you've got a second chance now." She kissed my cheek and smiled softly at me as she continued, "Don't let it slip away. Grasp it tightly."

I smiled and nodded, giving her a tight hug. "I will Grams, I promise." She pulled away, gave me another smile, and went to the living room to watch her evening shows. I stayed in the kitchen to finish up the cleaning, and then headed upstairs to my room to relax.

I walked into my room and flopped on my bed, sighing from exhaustion. I reached over onto my nightstand and turned my CD player on, letting the music of Fireflight fill the room quietly as I looked around my room. It was fairly large, because it was once my dad's room and he'd taken it upon himself to knock down the wall to the second bedroom to make them into one huge room. Since Gram's slept on the first floor, she didn't mind what I did up here alone.

"As long as you don't go having sex up there. At least not while I'm home," she had told me once I was old enough. It made me laugh and her too. I was 16, and had never had a boyfriend. It wasn't that I didn't like guys, just the fact that a boyfriend wasn't really important to me yet.

I used to get teased all the time for it, back at Lakehurst. Holly J. was the worst of them, calling me a closet lesbian because I never had a boyfriend before. The statement made me laugh to this day, simply because it showed how immature she was. I mean, why take it upon yourself to call someone a lesbian because they had no interest in dating?

I shook my head and went over to the door that attached my bathroom, going inside. I turned the shower on and got it to the perfect temperature, then jumped in. After getting a good shower, I stepped out and dried myself off, throwing on my black Goo Goo Dolls tank top and purple plaid sleeper shorts.  
I examined myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. I pretty much had a punk look: dark red hair cut in layers and dark blue eyes. I always wore band tee's and skinny jeans, along with my teal converse and some form of a hoodie. I didn't consider myself to be a punk, but an individual. I liked being different, because it allowed me to be myself.

I finished brushing my teeth and turned the bathroom light off, headed back to bed. I turned my covers back and slid underneath, cuddling with my stuffed red fox, Vixey. I knew it was weird for someone my age to still sleep with a stuffed animal, but I didn't care. After all, it's not like anyone would ever see.

The next day I slept in until 10, the exhaustion of yesterday finally wearing off. I quickly dressed in a plaid shirt and black skinny jeans, ran downstairs to find a note from Grams on the fridge mentioning her yoga class, and that she'd be back by one.

I grabbed the $50 she'd left for me on the fridge and walked out the door, jumping in the front seat of my 2004 Chevy Malibu. It was the first car I'd bought with my own money, but I didn't really like driving unless I had to. And the mall was too far to walk to, so I really had no choice.

After a 15 minute drive, I was inside the mall in Hot Topic, my absolute favorite store in the world. I grabbed a few t-shirts and two pairs of pants. I had just enough money left to get the new All American Rejects CD, and as I reached to get it off the shelf, my hand brushed over someone else's. I turned to see who it was, and to my shock, it was the guy who had been driving the hearse.  
He didn't seem to recognize me though. But he took the CD off the shelf, handing it to me. "Glad to see someone else in this place has good taste in music," he remarked with a smirk. I shrugged, "What can you expect? Have you seen the people that inhabit this place?"

He nodded, "Unfortunately I have. But in small town Canada, there's not much else you can expect." I agreed and walked to the counter, him following behind with his own copy of the CD. I handed my stuff to the cashier along with my discount card, and then turned to the guy. "You drive a hearse, right?"  
He nodded, "I do happen to be famous for that." It was then it seemed to hit him that he'd seen me yesterday, and his eyes got wide. "Didn't I see you coming from Degassi yesterday?"

I took my things from the cashier after paying, and then turned back to Mr. Hearse with a smirk of my own. "Correct mon ami," I remarked. "My name's Danni Colvin."  
"Danni? What kind of name is that for a girl?" he asked with a chuckle as he handed his things to the guy over the counter. "It's short for something we shall not speak of," I mocked whispered, almost like the kids in Harry Potter did when mentioning Voldemort. "Now do you have a name, or am I gonna have to keep calling you Hearse Guy?"

He paid for his stuff and took his bag from the counter, then walked beside me out of the store. "It's Eli Goldsworthy," he said, looking me in the eye. I giggled a little, "Eli? And you thought Danni was bad?" He gave me a look and whispered, "It's short for something you and I will never discuss."  
"Hey, that's my line!" I exclaimed, and he laughed and shook his head. "Nope, I revised it to be my own. So you have no copyright over it!"

We both laughed a little, and probably would have continued if the Queen Bitch of Degrassi hadn't decided to show up at the worst possible time.  
Holly J. Sinclair and Fiona Coyne were walking toward us, and as soon as she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks and put on a fake smile. "Danni! You look great! Have you been doing something different, or are you a public lesbian now?" Fiona busted out laughing, and I just smirked and rolled my eyes.  
"Wow Holly J., you look really good too. You have to tell me your secret: Are you eating less or just barfing more?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eli bite his lip in an attempt to keep his laughter to himself. Holly J. on the other hand, just looked pissed.

"What did you just say to me?" she demanded. "What, has the bulimia caused you to go deaf too?" I snapped back, crossing my arms across my chest. Her face got as red as a lobster, and she shoved her way between Eli and me, ramming me with her shoulder. Fiona followed behind, looking just as flustered as her best friend. Eli's eyes caught mine, and we both laughed.  
"Wow...and I thought I was witty," Eli said as we entered the food court. "Can I just say you're my new hero?"

"Holly J's always been on my case like that," I replied, getting in the China Max line. I was starving, and I had just enough money left to get a Bourbon Chicken sandwich. I looked over at Eli. "Want to split this with me?"

His face fell into a look of shock. "You've offering a guy you've only known all of 20 minutes Chinese food?" When I nodded, he grinned, "You're now officially my best friend, Danni Colvin."  
I grinned and placed my order. Minutes later we sat at an empty table, half my sandwich and fries on a plate before him. He took a few bites and asked me what school I went to. "I used to go to Lakehurst, before it burned down. After that, my grandma home schooled me. But this year she's letting me go to Degrassi, so I can have a normal senior year."

"Cool," he replied, finishing his portion of the meal. "Maybe I'll see you around." I smirked and threw my trash away, "Well, as your "Official" best friend, I think I'm obligated to see you every now and then, don't you?" He looked thoughtful for a second as we exited the mall and walked under the entrance, "This is true...so let's say Monday morning then?"

"Sounds good," I replied, giving him a smile. He returned it, and stuck out his hand, "Nice meeting you Danni." I took his hand and shook it, glad to have made a friend that seemed to be just like me. "You too Eli."  
After a second we parted, and I headed for the section of the parking lot I'd left my car, and then sped off for home.

Sunday passed quickly, and before I knew it, the alarm rang Monday morning, signaling it was time to start my senior year. I took a quick shower, threw on one of my new outfits, and walked toward the school.

I made it there before the first bell, and went to my locker. Amazingly, Eli was waiting there for me. "How'd you know where my locker was?" I asked in amazement. He gave me a look, "Good morning Eli, how are you? Fine Danni, thanks for asking."

I smirked, "Good morning Eli, how are you?" "Fine Danni, thanks for asking," he replied with a smirk of his own. I faked punched his arm, "If I'd have known you were gonna be such a smart ass, I would have never shared my Chinese food with you." He gave a mock look of hurt, placing his hand over his chest, "Break my little heart in pieces, why don't you?"

Just then, a girl with short hair wearing a jean jacket came up beside Eli. "Good morning," she said to him, and then looked at me with a warm smile and question in her eyes. "Morning Claire," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He looked at me and said, "Danni, this is my girlfriend Claire. Claire, meet Danni Colvin." I extended my hand and shook hers. "Nice to meet you Claire."  
"You too," she replied, seeming genuinely warm. "Are you new here?" I nodded, "Somewhat. I used to go to Lakehurst a few years ago, but now I'm a Degrassi girl."

The bell rang, and I looked at my schedule. "Great, math first thing in the morning," I groaned. I waved at Eli and Claire, and then walked toward the classroom. I smiled at the thought of the two of them together. They made a cute couple, and really seemed to make a match. I just hoped Claire wouldn't be freaked out about me hanging out with Eli, but I couldn't see where she would...

I had math first thing, my absolute worst subject. But thankfully, Sav had the same class, and waved me over to sit next to him. "Good morning," he said with a smile. "Morning," I replied, pulling out my book and some paper.

I did my best to pay attention, but my mind kept wandering all throughout class. If it weren't for Sav, I would have made a huge fool of myself when I was called on to answer a question. He wrote the answer on a slip of paper, and I read it off. The teacher didn't catch on, thankfully, and I gave a huge look of thanks to Sav. "I owe you," I mouthed to him as the bell rang.

Next I had Creative Writing, and to my surprise, Anneliese was in there with me. She walked over to where I sat and returned my hoodie from Friday. After a quick word of thanks, she went back to her seat. I could have sworn she had avoided my look, but I figured it was just my imagination going wild.  
Afterward I had lunch. I had brought some of the leftover pasta from the night before, so I avoided the line and looked for a place to sit. I saw Sav near the back wall, and he motioned for me to sit with him. I slid in next to him, and he asked me how my second class had gone.  
"Fine," I replied, eating the cold pasta from my Tupperware container. "I have it with Anneliese, so that'll be cool." And just as I said that, she came into view, and we motioned for her to sit with us. Sav asked her about class as well, and she mentioned something about some of the students being strange. I agreed, saying that each seemed to have its prize student.

We finished lunch and I headed to Biology. It went by in a flash, and before I knew it, I was headed to English. And to my surprise, Eli was already in the classroom. When he saw me walk in, he patted the desk in front of his, and I slid in. "Where's Claire?" I asked him.

"She said she wasn't feeling too good. Her mom came and got her, I think," he said, pulling out his English book. I did the same, and we were told to turn to the portion on famous dramatic works. We read a summary on Shakespeare and his works before Mrs. Dawes told us that in two weeks we would select a play to do before the class, and if it went well, before the school. That got me excited. I loved performing, and I'd always wanted to be in a play. I couldn't wait.

Classes ended, and I walked with Eli out to the parking lot. "Well, what did you think of your first day at Degrassi?" I shrugged, "It was ok, nothing more than I expected. And at least I know a few people here, though I'm surprised I didn't see Holly J. today."

He shrugged his shoulders as we approached his hearse. He opened the driver's side and slid in. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said with a smile, and began walking out of the parking lot the way we'd just come from. I heard the crunch of gravel under wheels, and Eli's voice called out, "You didn't drive?" I stopped on the side walk and looked at the car. "No, I live about 10 minutes away. It's easier to just walk."  
"He pulled the hearse up next to me and said, "You sure? I mean, if you need a ride in payment for the Chinese food, I'll be happy to oblige." I laughed, "Oblige? Dude, who are you?" He shook his head, "I'm serious. Do you need a ride?"

I wanted to say no, but something was telling me it was ok. After a second of hesitation, I nodded. He unlocked the passenger side, and I slid inside. It smelled nice inside, like Stetson cologne. I looked over at him and smiled. "You don't have any bodies in the back, do you?"

"Nah, I dropped my last victim in the river last week," he remarked as he threw the car into drive. He turned the radio up, and we drove with only the music playing. I gave him directions to my house once we got closer, and when we pulled up in front of Gram's house, he pulled the car to a stop. I went to get out, and thanked him and threw the open window.

"It's no problem," he said. "So I'll see you tomorrow?" I nodded and shifted my bag on my shoulder. "Be careful, and tell Claire I said I hope she feels better, ok?"  
"You got it. See you tomorrow Danni," with a smile, I turned and walked up to the door and walked in. Grams was at work at the antique shop, so I had the house to myself for the next few hours. I took it upon myself to clean up what seemed to be messy, and then I got to work on my homework.  
The math nearly killed me, but I decided to ask Sav for help the next day. Everything else was a breeze, especially the poem we had to write for Creative Writing. Basically they wanted to see how much imagination we had, and we were told to write about something or someone mysterious. I guess you could say my inspiration had been Eli. Though I'd only known him a couple of days, there was something about him below the surface. It was like I could imagine another part of him, and I put both parts into the words of the poem.

The Boy in Black  
By Danni Colvin

He lives in the shadows  
Darkness is his friend  
He hides behind his wit  
But I see through in the end

His heart is gold  
Though his clothes are black  
He likes to take off on his own  
But in the end he always comes back

His inner circle is small  
You'd be blessed to break the chain  
Though he pretends to not want you around  
I believe it's to hide his pain

So come over to the boy in black  
Show him someone cares  
And promise him, now and forever,  
You will always be there

I never planned to show him that, or even let him know about the assignment. It was weird that I found inspiration in him, having only known him a short amount of time. And he never seemed sad or anything, so where had I come up with this stuff? I shook my head as I read it again, thinking how crazy I felt at that moment. I just hoped it would be enough to get me my first good grade. But I'd have to wait until tomorrow to find out.


	7. 5 Change in Life: Pain and Hurt

The walk home took longer than I thought, since Sav lived in town and I lived on the outskirts of town, so it took me a lot longer. However the good thing was that I had the endurance to walk the distance since I participated in track at my school.

About an hour later, I reached my house; however, before I could turn the doorknob, it was removed from my grasp, revealing my mother standing in the doorway.  
"You're late! School let out three hours ago! Where were you!" she stammered.

I could tell that she was pissed due to the fact that she was stammering.  
"Mom, relax. I was at a friend's house, working on a project for school. I called and told Dad."  
"Oh really? Let me guess, that you was over at that...BOY's house from the other day?" her face was red, matching the highlights in her blonde hair.  
"No..." I lied, "a girl in my creative writing class."  
"Oh, is that so?" her face began to return to its normal paleness.  
"Yes, ma'am. She just started Degrassi today too."

Mother let out a sigh, "OK, you can come in then."  
As I walked in, she hit me with the backside of her hand, sending me across the room until I hit the wall. I placed my hands over my right eye, knowing that in the morning I would have a black eye. I jumped when Mother slammed the door. She approached me, grabbing me by my shoulders, picking me up off of the floor.

"I dare you to tell your father that I did this to you!" she threaten me.  
I shook my head out of fear, "No, ma'am, I wasn't"  
"Good..." she said as she dropped me, "now go to your homework or something. Just don't come downstairs until morning."

I picked up my book bag and ran upstairs into my room, throwing my bag onto the floor. I buried my face into one of my fuzzy black pillows, crying my eyes out. I didn't understand why my mother was so abusive, especially towards me. I continued to cry because my pride and everything was crushed. I lay down on my bed and slowly drifted to sleep.

I finally awoke around ten the next morning and since it was too late to go to school, I decided that I would walk to the mall to have something to do. I got out of bed, walking through the door that connects to my adjacent bathroom, and turned the shower on.

As I waited for the water to warm up, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. The skin around my eye was discolored, black, grey, blue, purple, and where my hazel iris should have been, a blood bubble took its place. I sighed, returning back to my shower.

The water against my flesh was so relaxing and refreshing. After my shower, I got dressed and styled my hair that way it would cover my right eye.  
I walked outside, the weather perfect for walking.

A little over an hour, I reached the mall and decided to browse the different stores inside. True enough I wasn't a fan of shopping, however, since Mother loves for my father and me to spend money; I was going to make sure that I did just that.

The first store I went into was Aeropostale and I bought three shirts and two pairs of pants. Then as for kicks, I went into Victoria's Secret and bought five stylish bras and five matching see-through g-strings. Even though, I highly doubted that I would ever wear them.

After that, the store named "Hot Topic" came into my view, however, I was always forbidden to go inside there. Upon my entrance, I saw different styles of clothing; such as, big-legged pants with chains connecting to the hips.

I thought to myself, such a weird way to dress.  
As I browsed around the store, I saw this cute little stuff-animal, it kind of reminding me of a dog, a creepy looking dog, but a dog nonetheless. I then checked the price tag, noticing that this thing was called a Gir.

I finally decided to buy something for Danni. After all, she did lend me her hoodie. I had no idea if she liked Gir or not, or what size she wore, but she couldn't be much bigger than me. I selected a medium black T-shirt with Gir on the bottom right-hand side with a faded skull design in the background.

I also picked out matching pants and a matching hoodie. As I approached the check-out counter, the clerk said that he was surprised that I didn't get the matching converse. I shrugged my shoulders and waited for him to ring up my order, the total coming to...$210.

I took out Mother's MasterCard, and swiped it through the credit card machine. I knew that this was wrong, but I could not help myself. Mother always hurts me, mentally and physically and this time, I will get her back. After leaving Hot Topic, I searched the rest of the stores, looking for something for Sav, however, nothing suited him, and well at least I didn't think so.

The last store I looked in was a guitar store, however, I did not know if Sav even played the guitar. After ten minutes arguing with myself either to get the electric guitar for him or not, I finally decided to get it. The guitar, a Gibson Les Paul Studio Silverburst Electric Guitar, which ran $1,399.99, was the only one I could see Sav playing. The black trim around the dark red, was perfect.

After buying it, I left the mall, figuring how I would get back home with dropping any of this. I could always call my dad to come and get me, but I didn't think that would a good idea. A dark blue Eclipse pulled up to the curb, a blonde guy with gorgeous blue eyes peering at me.

"Hey, do you some help?" his voice sounded so sexy.  
"Um...well...actually I need a ride home..." I said, sticking my tongue out.  
He gave a small laugh, "Hehe, sure thing. Where do you need to go?"  
I told him, he nodded and helped me put my bags into the backseat of the car. The interior of his car was smooth and soft against my ankles.

"You have a nice car..." I said  
"Thanks," he said pulling away from the curb and back onto the road, "it was a birthday gift."  
From that I could tell that he was a spoiled rich kid, and cocky too.  
He glanced at me, "what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, just that you are a spoiled rich kid that always gets his way." I exclaimed, hoping he wouldn't kick me out of his car.  
He laughed again, "Well, by the looks of what you bought, you're the same way, except when you don't get your way, you go shopping crazy."  
"OK, maybe. You win this one." I said, sticking my tongue out again.

"You know what; I don't even your name, unless you want me to call you sexy!"  
I could tell my face was going red, "N-no! My name is Anneliese Tasker. What is yours?"  
"I am Declan Coyne. Nice to meet you, Anneliese."

The rest of the way we talked about my transfer here and I gave him directions to my house. Once arriving at my house, he helped me carry the bags into the house.  
"Nice place you got here!" he exclaimed, in amazement.  
"Thanks." I said placing the bags down, and took the bags from Declan and placed them on the floor.

He leaned against the wall and said, "So how are you going to repay me?"  
His question took me by surprise, "Um...repay you? Um...what do you want?"  
His smile went into a smirk, and I didn't like it. "I want you to go out with me...and you can start to begin to repay me by giving me a kiss."

"I don't think so. The only thing I will do is give you is money and money for gas." I pulled a twenty out of my pocket and handed it to him, "So please, just leave."  
He laughed, "Don't think that this is over yet...you will warm up to me."

Declan left, as I locked the door behind him. I turned back to the bags, sighed and began lugging them upstairs to my room. After getting everything up there, I called the operator, to see if I could find a number to get in contact with Sav and with Danni. About ten minutes, I had both home numbers. The first person I called was Danni. I wanted to make sure that she would be there tomorrow. The phone continued to ring until an elderly voice answered.

"Hello?" the frail voice said.  
"Yes, ma'am, this is Anneliese. I am Danni's friend from school. Is she home?"  
"No, I'm sorry Anneliese, she hasn't come home yet. She's probably at band practice."  
"Oh OK. Well if it's not too much trouble could you get her to call me back?"  
"Sure thing."  
"Thank you, goodbye."

I hung up the phone and then called Sav, even though his family disliked me just because of the fact that I wasn't Muslim. Same thing happened when I called his number, it ranged and ranged. However his mother answered the phone.

"Hello? Who is this?" her voice was strict.  
"Hi, this is Anneliese. I came over for dinner yesterday. I was wondering if Sav was home?"  
"No he is not and please do not call this number again."  
"Yes ma'am. But could you give him a message for me. Since he was one of the ones to help me with the Student Council Meeting and helped get me adjusted to Degrassi, I bought him something."  
"Yes...I'll let him know. Goodbye."

The phone went dead. Why did she hate me so much? I thought to myself, Sav and I were just friends. I lay onto my bed, and drifted off to sleep.

I scratched my eyes, seeing that it was seven in the afternoon. I got up and went downstairs, seeing my father at the dinner table. I sat down beside him.  
"Aka, somebody named Danni and Sav called for you and said for you to call them back."  
I thanked him and took the phone upstairs and called Danni.

"Hello?" Danni's voice filled the receiver.  
"Hey Danni, it's Anneliese."  
"Hey. You called earlier for me?"  
"Yeah. Since you was one of the people that helped me, I wanted to show my appreciation so I bought you something."  
"Aww...you didn't have to do that."  
"I know but I wanted to, so make sure you come to school tomorrow."  
OK, bye."

I didn't know if I should call Sav back or not, so as respect toward his parents I didn't. I just went to sleep.  
The next morning, I got up and got dress quickly and grabbed the bags and got a ride from Dad. Surprisingly he didn't ask any questions about the bags so I didn't tell him anything.

Once at school, I waited until lunch before I gave Sav and Danni their gifts. Hopefully they would love them like I did. At lunch, Danni and Sav were there waiting for me. Danni cocked an eyebrow, as I handed her the bags that contained her stuff.  
"OK, on the phone you said something, not a lot."  
I laughed, "Just look inside."  
As she did, she gasped, and yelled happily, "How did you know I like him?"  
"Lucky guess!"

She hugged me and then I gave Sav the guitar I bought him.  
"Anneliese, I know how much this is!"  
"Just accept it Sav! You and Danni were the only two people that helped me when I first started Degrassi and because of that I am thankful."

He hugged me, a smile across his face, until he saw my eye underneath my hair.  
"Anneliese, how did you get that?" he asked, with concern in his voice.  
"Oh, I fell yesterday, and well this is the result from it" I lied.

The bell rung, saving me from any further questions. I got up and as I was leaving I yelled over my shoulder, "Sav, I can't make the meeting today, I have a doctor's appointment." I lied again. I just didn't want to have to face him and his questions. He said OK and we went our separate ways.


	8. 6 Change in Life: A Closer Bond

After I got my homework done and made dinner for Grams and me, I went into town to the coffee shop, where I tended to hang out to think about things. Mostly the events of the day went through my mind as I sipped on my cappuccino. I thought about Anneliese, and why she seemed to avoid looking me in the eye. Was it something I'd said or done? It bothered me mainly because I was afraid I'd offended her, and I wasn't the kind of person to offend someone on purpose unless it was Holly J.

I shook my head and sighed. I guessed there wasn't any real way to know without asking directly, but it wasn't my forte to confront people on things I was sure I was just being paranoid about.  
I drained the rest of my coffee and sighed, checking my watch. It was only 9:30, but I decided to head home. I had school in the morning, and I knew I needed my sleep. I got up from my table and threw away my coffee cup before heading to my car. Normally I would have walked to town and back, but at night I drove. It was just too risky to walk in this day and age alone.

I turned the radio up, the sound of Sick Puppies poured out of the speakers. I smiled as the lyrics filled my ears, along with the instruments. I loved music, ever since I first heard my dad play the guitar when I was three. He was my inspiration to start playing, and when I moved in with Grams, I got my opportunity. In dad's old room had been an acoustic Fender that he'd left behind, and with Gram's permission, I taught myself how to play. And not to brag by any means, but I turned out to be pretty good at it.

As I turned into the drive, I took a good look at the house for the first time in forever. It was a nice house, white with black shudders. It was a two story in what I called the "middle class" neighborhood. Grams and I weren't rich by any definition, but we lived comfortably, and that was all I could ask for.  
I unlocked the door and stepped into the lit hallway. The TV was off, signaling that Gram's was in bed, so I quietly went upstairs and got a quick shower before heading to bed.  
The next day at school, I noticed that Anneliese wasn't there at all. At lunch I asked Sav if he'd seen her, but he shook his head "no".

"I hope she didn't stay home because of what happened last night," he said, picking at his lunch. I raised an eyebrow over my sandwich, and he sighed. "I made the mistake of inviting her to dinner, and my parents were furious." I shook my head in sympathy. Sav was Muslim, and though I didn't know much about the culture or religion, I knew that they rarely welcomed guests into their home that weren't Muslim's themselves. I knew it was hard on Sav, but I also knew there wasn't much I could do for him, but I put my hand on his arm as a way to show he had my sympathy.

"It'll be ok man," I said, finishing my BLT. "I'm sure she understands, don't take it so hard." He shrugged his shoulders as the bell rang, and we went our separate ways for the rest of the day.  
Biology decided to drag out, and by the time English rolled around, I felt like the day was never going to end. I didn't even feel like going to class, so instead of going to Mrs. Dawes class, I took off out the front door. Though I'd never skipped school, I wasn't worried. If anyone asked, I could just say I had a dentist's appointment or something.

I began walking in the direction of my house, and as I turned the corner, the familiar black hearse was pulling up toward me. Eli pulled to a stop and I laughed a little. "And just what are you doing out of class?" I asked in a strict voice. He raised his eyebrow and laid his arm on the open window. "I could be asking you the same thing."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Didn't feel like going to class. Is that a crime?" He shook his head, "Nah, not here. But it's only your second day. Do you want to build up that kind of reputation already?" I smirked, "Do I really look like that kind of person who cares about reputations?"

He shrugged and gave the "point-taken" look. I crossed my arms, "Now spill: where were you Goldsworthy?" His face kind of fell, and he sighed. "Is there somewhere else we can talk, so Simpson won't come out and catch us?" I thought, and nodded. "I know the perfect place." He leaned over and unlocked the door to the passenger's side, and I ran over and jumped in.

"Head towards my house, but when we get about half a mile away, stop and park," I said as I buckled up, and he took off. We drove in silence for a few minutes before he came to the spot we were supposed to park. When he did, we got out and I led the way to my house. But instead of going inside, I lead him around back towards a dirt path that leads into the woods. He followed without a word, until we were 20 feet in. There, in a low tree branch, was a tree house my dad had built for me and Corey when we were five. It was sturdy, quiet, and private. Exactly what Eli had asked for, more or less.

"Right up here," I said, climbing the branch that leads to the opening. I crawled inside, amazed to find that I'd actually built it large enough so we could both fit comfortably. I took a seat on the couch that Gram's had given me to use, and Eli sat next to me. "So what's up?" I asked, pulling my knees to my chest out of habit.

He seemed reluctant to talk, and I waited until he was ready. "I was at Claire's earlier, checking in on her. Turns out she's not really sick..."  
I waited, not asking questions. He sighed and continued, "Turns out she's moving to England." I bit my lip, pity for the both of them filling my heart. "England? Why?"  
"Her dad got some job transfer or something. They're leaving next weekend," he looked so hurt, I wanted to reach out to him. But he got off the couch and paced back and forth, slightly stooped over to avoid hitting the ceiling. "I mean, she and I just started dating not too long ago, and now she's being taken from me! Why?"

"Look, Eli, I understand how hard it is for you...but the best thing you can do, is be with Claire the rest of the time she's here." He stopped pacing and looked at me, and I gently took his arm and made him sit back down. "If you and Claire are serious, and I can tell you are, then this long distance thing won't be a big deal. You can get through it." I smiled a little, trying to show that I meant it.  
He seemed to think about it, and after a few minutes he said, "You're right. Thanks Danni." I smiled, "My pleasure. After all, that's what best friends are for, right?"

He nodded and sighed heavily. "It feels good to talk to someone about it, you know?" I gave a slight nod, wishing I could feel the same way. I didn't have anyone to talk about my own problems to, other than Grams. And she knew everything already, and even if she didn't, I didn't want to burden her.  
I leaned back in the couch and looked around the tree house. It had been forever since I'd been in here, and the pictures on the walls proved it: Digimon posters, a pink Power Ranger action figure from the first movie, beanie babies, Pokemon cards...ah, the days of my childhood.

"You know, you could pretty much live in here," I told Eli, motioning toward the small TV and play station hookup. I crawled on the floor and sat on the old pillow in front, turning them on. Thanks to my dad, I had a pretty cool generator hook-up that was still working without a hitch. I turned to Eli, who was coming over to where I was sitting.

"You're a gamer?" he asked in surprise. I nodded and picked up the controller, starting the old zombie game I hadn't played since I was 10. It was harder than I remembered, and I got eaten five minutes in.  
Eli laughed at my defeat, and I felt myself go red from the embarrassment I'd just dished upon myself. "It's been a while," I said defensively, pointing to the screen that showed the last save date from six years before. He laughed and picked up the second controller, "Come on zombie girl, let's whip some butt!"

We played for hours; finally beating the game that I used to swear would never end. There were many laughs and fits of bad language before we came to the end, and when we finally looked up, it was getting late. "Whoops," I said, switching the TV and play station. "I've gotta head home, Gram's is gonna be waiting for me." I climbed out of the tree house, and Eli followed me to the ground. We walked out of the woods and towards the front of the house, where Eli went to walk away.

"Thanks again Danni...it means a lot to me, knowing I can talk to you and everything," he gave me a genuine smile, and it made me smile back. "You're welcome Eli, anytime." He went to walk away, but something told me to stop him. "Hey, wait a second."  
He turned and looked back at me, "Yeah?" I looked back at the house, then back at him. "Do you want to stay and have dinner? Grams and I usually have a good bit of leftovers, and a third person is always welcome."

He shook his head, "Thanks, but I need to get home. But I'll rain check it, ok?" I nodded, "Sure, anytime you want." He threw up his hand before walking back in the direction of his car, and I went inside to find Grams setting up the table.  
"Just in time," she smiled, putting down the plates. "I ordered in tonight. I figured you'd like a night off." I shook my head and took my seat, helping myself to the Chinese food. "You didn't have to do this. You know I don't mind cooking."

She shrugged and began eating. That was the great thing about Grams; she always looked out for others before herself, and was always thinking of them.  
I was just finishing up when Grams suddenly said, "Oh, I almost forgot. Someone named Anneliese called for you and asked that you call her back." I took my plate and thanked her for telling me, then went to my room upstairs and called information to get her number.  
After four rings, a man's voice spoke into the receiver. "Hello?"  
"Hi, this is Danni Colvin. Is Anneliese there?"  
"Oh I'm sorry Danni, she's sleeping right now. Can I take a message for you though?"  
"Yes sir, I was just returning her call. If it's not too much trouble, could you have her call me back whenever she gets time?"  
"I sure will," he said pleasantly.  
"Thank you," I said before disconnecting the call. After I put the phone down, I took a quick shower and straightened my hair for the next day. I was just finishing up when the phone rang. I called out that I had it and picked up.

"Hello?"  
"Hey Danni, it's Anneliese," her voice filled the receiver, sounding somewhat tired.  
"Hey. You called earlier for me?"  
"Yeah. Since you were one of the people that helped me, I wanted to show my appreciation, so I bought you something."  
I was baffled, "Aww...you didn't have to do that."  
"I know but I wanted to, so make sure you come to school tomorrow."  
"OK, I will. Bye."  
I disconnected the call and put the phone back on my nightstand and looked at the clock. It was only 8, but I worn out. I lay on the bed and sighed, falling asleep almost instantly.

I didn't see Anneliese until lunch, but when she came over with both hands filled with bags, I had to raise an eyebrow. "I thought you said you bought something, not a ton of stuff."  
She handed me two of the bags and laughed. "Just look inside." I reached in and pulled out the contents: A GIR shirt, hoodie, and matching pants. I gasped and said happily, "How did you know I liked GIR?"  
She merely said, "Lucky guess," and I had to hug her. GIR was one of my favorite characters, and I'd been wanting this outfit forever. Right then and there, I declared her my best girl friend ever.

When I saw the Gibson guitar she'd given Sav, I felt my jaw drop to the floor. It was beautiful, black that ran red. I could tell he loved it, but he tried not to accept it. Anneliese wouldn't take it back though.  
"You were the only two people that helped me when I first started Degrassi, and because of that I am thankful," she said, and Sav gave her a huge hug. The bell rang, so I wasn't able to wait around, but I threw my hand up in appreciation and headed to class.

The clothes were great, and I threw the hoodie on right away. I was in total appreciation towards Anneliese, and to show it, I decided to invite her over and cook dinner for her. I waited until classes were over, and I ran to find her. I saw her heading for the exit, and I called to stop her.  
"Hey, Anneliese!"

She turned and saw me, and for the first time I noticed that her bangs were covering her right eye. A spark of concern hit me, and I tried my best not to let it show in case nothing was wrong. "Hey, if you're not busy, would you like to come hang out and have dinner at my house Friday night?"  
She looked a little hesitant before answering, "Um, I'm not sure. I'd have to ask my parents, and they'll probably want to meet you first."

I nodded, "That's fine with me. Just let me know tomorrow, ok?"  
"Yeah, sure thing," she smiled at me and took off, and I went out as well. I walked a couple of minutes, and when I got within a mile of my house, I saw a huge guy beating the crap out of someone dressed in all black. I thought about going the other way, but then the face of the guy came into view.  
"Eli," I whispered, and suddenly my anger flared up and I marched over, determined to do whatever I had to to get the fight to stop. I got within a foot of the fight and went to speak when the guy socked Eli right across the jaw.

"Knock it off," I demanded, ramming the guy with all my strength. He was knocked off balance, but not by much. He turned to glare at me, "What the hell are you doing?" I screamed my anger levels at a high point.  
"What's it to you bitch?" he said, shoving me back. I almost fell, but I managed to keep my balance and kept staring him down. "That's my best friend," I stated, "Lay another hand on him and I'll cut your balls off and hand feed them to you."

That seemed to throw him off, but he narrowed his eyebrows and got right in my face. I would usually be afraid, but my adrenaline was going too strong for me to worry about being scared. When the guy saw I wasn't backing down, he looked at Eli on the ground and spat, "This isn't over Goldsworthy. One day you won't have girls fighting your battles for you." Then he turned and stormed away.

It was only then did I dare go over to where Eli was slumped on the ground. I fell to my knees and lifted his chin, looking at his face in horror. His jaw was bruised already, and his mouth was bleeding. It wasn't anything he needed a hospital for, but he did need to get that bloody mouth taken care of right away.  
I put his arm around my shoulder and helped him to his feet. "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up," I said, helping him walk the rest of the way to my house. He didn't say anything as we walked up the steps and I unlocked the door, leading him into the kitchen.

I had him sit at the table as I took out the first aid kit and got an ice pack fixed. I cleaned up the blood, which was coming from a busted lip, then had him put the ice pack on his swelling jaw.  
"What were you thinking, jumping in like that?" he said, his face twisted in anger. "Fitz could have killed you!" I shook my head, "I wasn't worried about myself. It was you I worried about."  
"I had it under control," he said, not looking me in the eye. "Yeah, I'm sure you intended to let him beat the holy hell out of you."

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. I knew his pride was hurt, and I didn't care. He needed help, and I gave it. Whether he was grateful or not, I didn't care. As long as he was safe, that was all that mattered to me.  
"Thank you," he said, now standing and putting the ice pack in the sink. I looked at him and smiled a little. "You're welcome. I'm just glad you're not hurt too badly." I looked at the nasty black and blue bruise on the left side of his jaw line and bit my lip. "Eli...what did Fitz jump you for?"  
I saw him grip the sink, his knuckles white from the tension. "Claire. He's always had a thing for her, and now that she's leaving, he's trying to scare me off so he can convince her to move in with him." I felt anger rise in my throat, and I began pacing, "What a jerk! Claire's your girlfriend, why would he go and do this?" Eli released his grip on the sink and fell back into the chair again. "Why else? To make my life a living hell."

"Ohh, when I see that meathead again..." I couldn't finish my sentence, I was so angry. I balled my hands into fists and took a few calming breaths. Once I felt I had myself under control again, I turned to Eli and sighed, shaking my head and putting my hands on my hips.

"Well, the only thing you can do is avoid him, I guess." Eli snorted and put his chin on his hands. "Yeah, when hell freezes over. You don't get it Danni; I don't go looking for Fitz. HE comes looking for ME, and when he finds me, he doesn't stop until he's got me right where he wants me, which is usually on the ground and covered in blood." I could hardly believe what I was hearing, and if I hadn't witnessed it first hand, I probably would have thought he was exaggerating.

"I guess whenever he comes along next; threaten to cut his balls off like I did. He might leave you alone after that," I suggested meekly as I pulled up a chair next to him. He looked like he wanted to argue, but when he looked in my eyes, something stopped him. "Yeah...guess I can do that," he said quietly, looking away from me.

An awkward silence fell, and I had no idea what to say. But then the sound of the front door opening made the silence vanish, and for that I was grateful.  
She came into the kitchen, and the sight of me with a boy stopped her in her tracks. She looked shocked at first, then a smiled creped onto her face.

Before she could speak, I spoke up, "Hey Grams. This is my friend Eli from school. Eli, this is my grandma, Eliza." Eli got to his feet and offered his hand to Grams, "Pleasure to meet you Mrs. Colvin. I'm Elijah Goldsworthy." Grams took his hand and shook it, a kind smile on her face. "Wonderful to meet you Eli, but please call me Eliza. Mrs. Colvin makes me feel old."

Eli smiled and nodded, "Yes ma'am." He turned to me and said, "Thanks for everything Danni. I'll see you tomorrow." I went to speak, but Grams cut me off, "You're not staying for dinner Eli?" Both Eli and I gave her the same look, being caught off guard. "Well-"  
Grams wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer apparently. "I insist dear. It's wonderful to see Danni having a friend over and there'll be plenty for all of us." Eli couldn't seem to resist. "Well, if I'm not imposing-"

"Of course you're not dear. Danni, why don't the two of you go hang out, and I'll do the cooking tonight?" I looked in shock, "Are you sure Grams? I mean, I don't mind cooking." She shook her head and put on an apron, "Danni, you cook most nights. Tonight let me take care of it, and you two have some fun."  
I could see in her eyes she had a completely different idea in her head than what Eli and I did, so we just ducked out of the kitchen. Once we were in the main hallway, I apologized to Eli. "Grams isn't usually that pushy," I explained. "I think she's just excited that I have someone over."

"It's fine," he said, "And she seems really nice. I can see where you get your spunk from now." I laughed a little. "Do you want to hang in the living room, or in my room?" He raised an eyebrow, "You're room huh? Tell me Danni, are you trying to seduce me?"

I blushed furiously, "No...ELIJHA!" He narrowed his eyebrows, "Mention that to ANYONE and I'll rip the heads off your beanie babies." I held up my hands as if I'd just been caught by the cops, "Whoa, easy dude. No need for threats, k?" He laughed and said, "Don't worry, I'd never hurt a cute collectable toy."  
I grinned and began walking up the stairs, him close behind. We turned to the right and walked inside, and I made sure to leave the door open in case Grams needed us for anything. I noticed Eli looking around and he whistled lowly. "Nice. Big room for just one person, though."

"This was my dad's room," I explained, sitting on my bed. "He took the liberty of knocking down the wall to the room connecting to it, since no one else used it. And when I came here, I inherited it as my own."  
Eli nodded, and then his eyes landed on my Fender in the corner beside the window. "You play?" I nodded, "Yeah, I've been playing for about nine years." He smirked, "Are you any good at it?" I raised an eyebrow, "Is the sky blue?" He picked up the Fender and handed it to me, "I want to hear you play."  
I'd never played in front of anyone other than the band, and I was a little shy. But the look on his face told me he really wanted to see me play. So I took a deep breath, threw the strap over my shoulder and began playing So Contagious by Acceptance, which I doubted he knew. But I saw his face light up, "You listen to Acceptance?"

I nodded, letting my fingers speak for me. The music poured out of me, and the lyrics almost escaped my mouth, but I stopped myself from singing. I hated my voice, but I loved to sing. But I was afraid that I was a bad singer, and I didn't want to scare Eli off just from some bad notes.  
I played until the end of the song, and then put the guitar back in the corner. Eli clapped a little, and I gave a mock bow. "You know, you're not bad Colvin." I sat next to him on the bed and smiled. "Thanks...that means a lot to me." And it did, knowing that someone who's opinions actually mattered to me thought I was good at something.

"Maybe you could teach me one day," he remarked, and I nodded, "Sure, I'd love to." Before anything else was said, I heard Grams call out that dinner was ready. We got up and walked down the stairs, the smell of Gram's meatloaf and mashed potatoes filling the entire first floor. My stomach let out a loud growl, and I giggled. "Sorry, I didn't realize I was so hungry."

Eli and I sat next to each other and Grams across from us. As we ate, light conversation was passed between mostly Grams and Eli, but I found out a lot just from listening. He talked about moving in just a few months before I did, back when this school year just started.  
"Well, at least Danni isn't the only new student," Grams remarked, wiping her mouth as she spoke. "Maybe the two of you should stick together more often." I didn't answer her, because I didn't know what to say. Instead I finished up and took my plate into the kitchen. Eli followed behind a few seconds later, and I took his plate and put it in the sink.

"I'm sorry about Grams," I apologized again, but Eli just shrugged it off. "There's nothing to apologize for. Really, I like her." I smiled; glad to know that as I walked with him toward the front door. He stopped and thanked Grams for dinner. "It was great, thank you so much Mrs.-I mean, Eliza." She gave him a smile, "The pleasure was all ours dear. Don't be a stranger, alright?"

"Yes ma'am and thank you again," He headed for the front door, and I followed behind. "Do you need a ride home?" I asked. He shook his head, "Nah, I'm fine. My car's up at the school."  
I felt really weary letting him walk there alone, with Fitz out there somewhere. "Can I at least give you a ride there then?" He smirked, "Danni, don't worry about me. I promise, I'll be fine."

"Well...then at least call and let me know you made it home ok," I said, knowing it was the best I could do. He nodded, "I will, promise." And with that, he turned and walked down the steps. I didn't close the door until he was out of sight, then I went back to the kitchen to clean the dishes.  
It was about 20 minutes later when the phone rang, and I rushed to get it. Trying not to sound frantic, I answered as calmly as I could.

"Hello?"  
"It's me," came Eli's voice, "And I'd like to report I'm home safe and sound."  
I silently sighed in relief. "Ok, thanks for letting me know. And next time, just let me drive you to the school, ok?"  
"No promises, but I'll keep that in mind," he replied with a chuckle.  
"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then."  
"Yeah, alright. And Danni?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thanks again...for everything. I want you to know...I really do appreciate it. The help, the dinner, everything."  
I smiled, feeling my heart warm. "You're welcome Eli. I'm here for you, anything, anytime."  
"I know...and listen, if there's anything you need, my phone's always on ring."  
"If I ever need to, I'll take you up on that offer," I promised.  
"Ok...goodnight Danni."

"Night Eli." I disconnected the call and went upstairs, saying a silent prayer of thanks that he was safe, and that I really had a strong friendship with him. I had seen a different, softer side of Eli Goldsworthy today. And it seemed that he trusted me enough to let his walls come down...now, I questioned myself as I drifted off to sleep, could I bring myself to do the same?


	9. 7 Change in Life: Can Things Get Worse?

I ran outside of the school, leaning against the brick wall, my hands across my chest. Why did HE have to be the one to see if? Why not Danni or somebody else, why Sav? I thought to myself. I pushed myself off of the wall and began walking home.

However, before I could make it out of Degrassi' territory, I heard Danni's voice yelling behind me. I turned toward her, finding out that she wanted to know if I would go over to her place Friday night for dinner. After telling her that she would have to meet my parents first, she gladly said OK and we went our separate ways.

Sadly though, I did not want her to meet my mother. The whole walk home, I was in deep thought about how I could get my father to OK this and leave my mother in the dark. Since I wasn't paying attention where I was walking, I walked straight into someone.

"Ouch..." I bellowed as I fell to the ground, "I'm sorry..."  
"It's OK," A familiar voice said.  
I looked up, seeing that it was Sav with his hand extended, "Can I help you up?"  
I took his hand, and thanked him, however, refused to look at him directly.  
"Anneliese, I'm sorry about the other night. I shouldn't have brought you to the house, but I really like you and all, but then my parents treated you like that..."he pleaded before I cut him off.  
"Sav, first off, it's OK, and second, I'm flattered, but you know I have a boyfriend."  
"Wait...no, no. I mean I like you as friends. Sorry for the confusion."  
I laughed and apologize for automatic assumption.

I glanced down at my watch, apologizing once again, and ran home. When I reached my house, my father was standing outside. I tilted my head down, that way he couldn't see my eye. I went to walk past him but he stopped me.  
"Anneliese, come here please."

The sound of his voice and the fact that he called me by my first name, I knew something was wrong. I walked over to him as he pulled me tightly into a hug. I heard a lot of commotion in the house and then all of a sudden, the front door opens. I saw blue uniforms, assuming that it was someone belonging to the police force, and in the middle of them, I saw my mother resisting them.

"I told you Natalie that if you hurt Anneliese again, I would commit you and divorce you. She's your daughter not your punching bag." His voice was sharp and strict.  
I leaned against him as I saw Mother's eyes narrow as if she was ready to kill me.  
"You bitch! You think you can have my man! I'll show you, I will come back, and I will get your ass!" she yelled before they put her in the police car.

Tears streamed down my eyes, seeing my mother leave was hard, however, knowing how jealous she was of me, her own daughter, was like a knife to the chest. Father and I watched as the car took Mother away.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't do this sooner, but I loved her and I think that got in the way." He touched my cheek, "However, when a parent is physically harming the child, they have to be put away."  
I hugged him, feeling sorry because if I wasn't born, Mother and Father would still be together right now.

I nudged me, telling me to go inside that he needed time alone, which I understood. I went to my room, throwing my bag down, grabbing my cell out of my back pocket of my jeans, and dialed James' number. After two rings he answered.  
"Hey, baby, how are you?"His voice came through the receiver.  
"I'm...horrible!" I began crying.  
"Calm down, calm down, please for me." His tender voice soothed me down, "now tell me what's wrong?"  
"My parents are divorcing and it's because of me."  
"Anne, it's OK. Do you want me to come up there? Maybe your dad would let me stay a few nights." He asked, softly.  
"Hang on; I'm going to text him real quick to see if you can."  
I texted my father about it and his reply was OK, but nothing sexual.  
"He said OK. When are you coming?"  
"Tonight...so let me go that way I can pack. I love you Anneliese."  
"I love you too James." I hung up the phone.

I was excited that I would get to see James again, but something deep down inside of me was always not. I shook my head, trying to forget about and tried focusing on the fact that in four hours James would be here with me and this hellish nightmare.

Four hours later, James was knocking at my door. My father was the one to answer it, not as happy as I wish he would have been. My father did not like James at all. When we first started dating, he told me that something was wrong with James that he didn't know what, but something was wrong with him. He then continued that James was not the guy for me because he appeared as a lying cheater.

"James!" I screamed, coming down the stairs.  
He put his arms around me, strong as I remember them. He placed his lips to mine, soft and tender. My father rolled his eyes at the sight and walked out of the room.  
"Anne, I told you that we could make this work." He said, revealing that smile I love about him.  
"Yes, you did." I replied, taking his hand into mine and went upstairs to my room.

We lay onto my bed as I cuddled into his arms. He was the protection that I needed against anything when it came to stuff like this. I kissed his lips softly as he placed his hands onto my waist.  
"James, don't think about trying anything, OK? I don't want to have sex yet and you should be OK with that."  
I heard him sigh, and then he removed his hands from my waist. I loved mostly everything about James, except for the fact that he wanted to have sex every time I turned around. It wasn't the fact that I was afraid about having sex, it was just I didn't want to lose my virginity until I knew that it was with the right one. True enough I hoped that James and I's relationship would make it through, but no one could ever be for sure on this type of thing.

About twenty minutes later, my father came into the room and told James that it was time for him to get out of my room since I had school tomorrow. James left before my father could finish his statement and he shut the door after them and I went and locked it. When I returned to my bed I went to sleep.

The next morning I got a shower and got dress before going downstairs. When I did finally get downstairs, James was the only one at the table. My father left a note stating that he already left for work and that James would drive me to school. I didn't really have any complains since I would be with him.

Once we got to school, instead of parking the car in front of Degrassi to let me out, he parked it in the student parking lot.  
"What are you doing?" I asked, kind of baffled.  
"Going to school with you." He said a smile across his face.  
"I don't think Mr. Simpson would like that too much."  
"Nah, and if he has a problem with it, I will tell him that I am a transfer student and that I clung to you because you was the first person I saw at Degrassi."  
I laughed and we walked hand-and-hand into the school.

Of course the first two people I have to see are Sav and Danni.  
"Hey Anneliese, who is this?" Sav asked with a smile.  
"This is James, my boyfriend. This is Sav and Danni."  
James extended his hand to Sav, griping it tight, and then took Danni's hand, kissing it; "nice to meet you."  
"By the way, did I ever say he was a major flirt and charmer?" I laughed; however, I could not read Danni's expression on this.  
Sav put his arm around me and began whispering about the student council's ideas, when all of a sudden; James punches the hell out of Sav, busting his bottom lip.  
"James! What the hell is your fucking problem!" I scream, more concerned over Sav.  
"He was trying to make a move on you..."  
"No he wasn't!" I continued to scream, "How about you leave..."  
"Leave Canada?"  
"Yes!"

James stomped out of Degrassi, a part of me leaving with him. I then turned back to Sav, taking some napkins out of my book bag, trying to stop the blood. I laid his head onto my lap, "Sav, I am so sorry for this!" tears streaming down my cheeks as Danni squatted down beside us.

"Hey now," he said wiping the tears away, "it's not your fault."  
"Yes it is...it's because of me..."  
Before I could finish my statement, I was interrupt with Sav's lips against my own.  
I didn't know what was going on...more shocked than anything, but before I recognized what I was doing, I was kissing him back.

His tender lips against my own sent sparks throughout my body...not it was not sparks, it was more like jolts of surprise. I pulled away, embarrassed because in sense I just cheated on my boyfriend. I couldn't believe that I just kissed him back, it was like my body wanted him to kiss me...yeah that's it, my body was frozen in fear and he did everything...

I stared up at Danni, trying to read her expression, but once again, could not. My heart was pounding so hard that I could not understand the words that were coming out of her mouth. I just shook my head and hoped that I was answering the question correctly.

I swallow but it was like swallowing a rock down my throat, as Sav peered up at me. He then sat up, his eyes still staring into mine, my heart racing.  
"Anneliese...I'm sorry..."the sadness in his voice brought a sharp pain to my chest, "I know I have only known you for a few days, but there's something different about you...and I-"  
"Stop...just stop," I cut him off, " I told you, I have a boyfriend, and yet you turn around and do this. I have enough to worry about than this shit."  
"I..." he began, but stopped.  
"You what Sav? Worry about me? Love me? You don't know me!" I began to tear up, "Everyday for the past seven years, I was abused by my mother; and even though yesterday my father decides to leave her...it's my fault that he's divorcing her...it's my fault."

By the time I finished talking, I was crying heavenly. I hated crying in front of others, however, I no longer could keep it in. Danni and Sav continued to stare at me as if I was losing my mind, however I didn't expect them to understand my pain or my emptiness. I looked down at my feet, until my attention was averted about to Danni.  
"Anneliese, it's OK. We are here for you, and I hope you know that," she flashed a smile my way, and then nudged Sav, "Isn't that right, Sav?"  
"That's right!"

"You guys..." I cried, "Does this mean we are like the three musketeers or something?"  
"No...it's more like the three stooges." Danni replied.  
And before anyone could say it, I yelled, "I'm Moe!" and two seconds later, Danni yelled, "I'm Larry!"  
We looked at Sav and grinned, "Which means...you're Curly!"  
"Hey that's not fair..." he said laughing.

After we finished joking around, we figured that it would be best to get to class, before we were all written up for skipping class.

I didn't really pay attention to any of my classes, not after, knowing how it felt to have Sav's lips against my own. Wait...did I want him to kiss me? I thought to myself, nah, couldn't be.

I looked at my calendar, seeing the dates for prom. Apparently it was months away, but I was excited about getting my dress and going the whole yards. I laughed to myself, until I felt someone standing over me.

"Well, well, well. What's wrong little virgin, can't wait to prom to finally to be consider a woman?" Holly J.'s voice said, loud enough for the whole class to hear.  
"No Holly J. Unlike you, my virginity is sacred to me. All you are is a wannabe slut; so how about you go and get your vibrator out of your locker and leave me the hell alone." I snapped.  
"W-what did you s-say?" she stammered.  
"You heard me," I warned her, as I rose out of my seat, "Get out of my face, before I break it."

She backed, revealing the fear in her eyes. I sat back down, hearing ah's fill the classroom. The bell rang, releasing us from this hellish nightmare, and I went straight home.

When I got home, my father was passed out on the couch. As I made my way past him, I saw that James left a note stating

Anne,  
I'm sorry about earlier, I just reacted and assumed. I hope that I didn't hurt his pretty boy face too much. Well just call me whenever you want.  
Love always,  
James

I can't believe him, he has no remorse whatsoever. Sometimes he was a totally asshole. The phone rang, and of course it woke my father up. He grabbed the phone and was off shortly after. He looked at me, smiled and motion for me to come to him.  
"Yes sir?" I asked.  
"Um...do you want to go out and eat today?"  
"Um...sure. Dad I can cook you know, I don't mind."  
"I know, but I think it would do us some good."  
By us, he meant him, but nonetheless I wanted to help my father out of this since it was my fault after all.

We got into his truck and went to an Italian restaurant and an hour and twenty minutes later we were home again.  
"Dad, would it be OK if I went to a friend's house Friday night?"  
"Have I met them before?" he asked, interested into the conversation.  
"No sir. She's a transfer student like I am. But she asked me to come over for dinner Friday night."  
"Yeah, I don't see a problem wrong with it. How about this, you get her address tomorrow and Friday I drove you over to meet her parents."  
"OK that sounds good."

I went upstairs and took a hot shower and did my homework. I set my clock for seven in the morning and went to sleep.

The next morning, I went to school and at lunch I asked Danni for her address and told her that my father would take me over to her house tomorrow. She gave me her address and we went our separate ways for the rest of the day.

After school, I decided it was only fair if I went to the student council meeting. Upon my entrance, I saw Sav, once again alone, writing on a piece of paper. I walked in, noticing his physical features and the attraction I had to him. The only thing that was somewhat keeping me away from him was James.

"Hey stranger!" he yelled, as he continued to write, "first time in awhile since you been in here."  
I laughed, "Yeah, I thought you needed some help. Seems like you gave a full crowd in here."  
He looked up, "Yeah! I don't know what I would do without you!"  
I stuck my tongue out and took a seat down beside him. I looked over his ideas and I can to a conclusion.  
"How about we have a Halloween Party-dance thing?"  
"Yeah we could, but with Halloween right around the corner, we don't have enough money to furnish decorations." His voice became soft.  
"Um...duh! My father has a lot of money. I could get it from him, and we can pay him back."  
"Yeah, if he doesn't mind."  
"Not at all," I looked down and then back at him, "how about you come over to my place and we can run our ideas by him?"  
"Um...I don't know..."  
"Oh, that's right your parents..." I sighed.  
"You know what, I'm in. Ready to go?" he said, a smile across his face.

We headed toward the student parking lot, getting into his father's truck and headed to my house. I hope he didn't think I was rich, spoiled kid. As we approached my house, he was in amazement. Apparently he like my house, but the question was, would my father like Sav?

Sav parked the truck, right beside my father's, and both of us got out, heading to the front door. Before I could turn the knob to go inside, my father was coming out.

"Hey Aka, who's this?" my father's voice was soft.  
"This is my friend, Sav. He is the student council president and we are going to go over the ideas for the Halloween Party Dance. However, there is a money issue." I said, pouching my bottom lip out.  
My father gave a small laugh, "Whatever the cost is, I'll pay for it. By the way, nice to meet you Sav. You are welcomed here anytime."

My father touched my shoulder softly and was on his way.  
"Your dad seems pretty nice." Sav mumbled.  
"He is, just don't get on his bad side."

After we went inside, we discussed what the theme for the party would be and the decorations. About an hour later Sav received a call on his cell from his name giving him the third degree about being out late. Sav hopped into his dad's truck and left after giving me a huge hug.

Friday was pretty much a blur, since I was so excite about going to Danni's house. Actually that would be the first time, other than Sav's, that I been to a friend's house. When my father picked me up, he followed the directions until we pulled up to Danni's. She was outside the door, waiting for me, and as I stepped outside of my dad's truck, waiting for the embarrassment from him.


	10. 8 Change in Life: Making Friends

After my talk with Anneliese, I headed home. I was excited that she agreed, and I hoped her parents were ok with it. It would be nice to have a girl friend over for once, someone I was sure could relate to me more than someone like Eli. It wasn't that I didn't trust Eli or anything like that. He'd proven himself to be just the opposite, but there were things you just didn't talk to guys about.

That night I talked to Grams about having Anneliese over. She agreed happily as she sat at her sewing machine, working on a new quilt for her shop. "It's good that you're making friends," she remarked, taking a second to give me a genuine smile. "I worried you'd have a hard time adjusting, but I suppose you do alright on your own."

I grinned over my lyrics book. "She's a transfer student Grams. The day I went up to register, I saw her and Sav in the hallway. Holly J. had given Anneliese her own personal welcome." I thought back to the day I first met Anneliese. She'd been soaked, thanks to Holly J's stupidity. And the thought of that made me realize that Holly J. hadn't come around me since that day in the mall. As much as I loved not seeing her, I secretly hoped that I'd run into her soon, so I could repay her for Anneliese's "welcome".

The next morning, I met Sav at the entrance of Degrassi. "Good morning," he said with a smile. I returned the greeting with a smile of my own as we headed for our lockers. "Well, I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting day," I commented, leaning against Sav's locker and looking down the hallway.  
"Why do you say that?" he asked, not looking up. I pulled his shirt collar so that he backed away, and then turned his head in the direction of the doorway. Coming inside was Anneliese and a pretty good looking guy with dark hair and eyes. And by the way their hands were locked; I figured that must have been the infamous boyfriend Sav told me about.

When they made their way over to us, I took the opportunity to study the guy. Decent built, good looking, a nice smile. I felt I could like the guy, except the look in his eyes. Something wasn't right...  
"Hey Anneliese, who is this?" Sav asked with a smile. Anneliese beamed as she answered, "This is James, my boyfriend. This is Sav and Danni."

James extended his hand to Sav, griping it tight, and then took mine in a gentleman's fashion and brushed his lips over it. "By the way, did I ever say he was a major flirt and charmer?" Anneliese laughed. I didn't reply. I was processing the feeling I got when he kissed my hand: pure disgust.

I hadn't even realized something had happened until I heard Anneliese screaming. "James! What the hell is your fucking problem!" The look he gave her was casual, to say the least. "He was trying to make a move on you..." She continued to scream at him, drawing attention from many nosey students that passed. But I kept my attention on Anneliese, who screamed at James to leave. And once he turned and stormed off, it was then I saw Sav's busted lip.

Anneliese was sitting down with Sav's head on her lap. "Sav, I am so sorry for this!" she was crying as she wiped the blood from his mouth. I watched as he tried to comfort her, wiping her tears. She began to say something, but before the words could come out, Sav had attached himself to Anneliese via his lips. I felt my eyes grow wide, not only because he was kissing Anneliese, but because she was kissing him back! But after a second, she pulled away and looked at me with guilt-ridden eyes.

"Um, you do realize you just KISSED Sav, right?" I asked, the first words I could think of just flying out of my mouth. She just nodded, apparently not able to say anything. She then looked down to Sav, who was apologizing. But she cut him off, ranting about how she had a boyfriend and too much else to worry about without having to deal with his feelings. Though he wanted to say something, he stopped, and she got defensive.

"You don't know me!" She shouted before adding. "Every day for the past seven years, I was abused by my mother; and even though yesterday my father decided to leave her...it's my fault that he's divorcing her...it's my fault."

Sav was on his feet now, standing next to me as we looked at Anneliese in shock. My body had grown cold at the mention of her mother abusing her, and I wanted to try and comfort her. She was crying so heavily though, I didn't know if it was a good idea to try and hug her or anything. So instead, I did the next best thing.

"Anneliese, it's OK. We are here for you, and I hope you know that," I said sincerely as I flashed her a smile, and then nudged Sav, "Isn't that right, Sav?"  
"That's right," he said, smiling as well. "You guys..." She said with a smile of both relief and happiness, "Does this mean we are like the three musketeers or something?"

"No...it's more like the three stooges," I said with a goofy grin. And before anyone could say it, she yelled, "I'm Moe!" I took the opportunity to call out. "I'm Larry!" And with a laugh, we both turned to Sav and said at the same time, "Which means...you're Curly!"  
"Hey that's not fair..." he said with a laugh and fake pout.

After a few more giggles, the three of us split off for the rest of the day. I made it to English on time, but with a bit of disappointment, I saw Eli wasn't there, and neither was Claire. I took a wild guess and thought that they must have been spending as much time together as possible. I didn't blame them at all, and was glad to see that Eli was taking my advice on the whole situation.

After class was over, I began heading for the exit when the sight of Holly J filled my eyes. She was talking to Fiona against the lockers, complaining about something, as always. I thought about walking the long way around, just so I wouldn't have to hear her mouth, but when I heard Anneliese's name, I turned on my heels and got in close enough to hear without looking like I was eavesdropping.

"I mean, that pathetic little whore actually had the nerve to call me a wannabe slut! Who does she think she is anyway?" I could hear the fluster in her voice, and I smirked. Good going Lise, I thought to myself as I started walking past her. But she must have known it was me, and she started talking loudly behind my back.  
"You know Fiona, I know why Danni and that little whore hang around each other so much," I could feel the sneer on her face penetrating my back, "They're both pathetic and neither of them can get a guy to notice them!" She cracked up at her own joke, and I just shook my head with a chuckle and called over my shoulder, "Shouldn't you be on your way Holly J.? Those STD's aren't gonna get tested on their own you know."

I heard her exclaim behind me, but I didn't care. Her insults didn't hurt me, because I knew it was because she was jealous of the fact that I had real friends and wasn't an attention whore like her.  
I went through my normal routine once I got home, then tried calling Eli before I went to sleep. But there was no answer, and I guessed he was still with Claire. A little ping hit my heart when I put the phone on the receiver, but it was gone as soon as it had come.

I was plagued with nightmares that night, but I tried not to let it show the next day at school. And once lunch time rolled around, Anneliese came up and asked me for my address. "My father's gonna bring me over tomorrow, so he can meet you," she explained as I scribbled the address onto a piece of paper and handed it over to her. She thanked me and took off, and I did too. Grams picked me up early and we drove into town. I had a doctor's appointment, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

A little while later, we were sitting behind the desk as my doctor went over some things. "The test results came back as inconclusive," she said, looking through my charts. "But you said you've been feeling fine, correct?" I nodded, "Maybe a little more exhausted, but I think that's from being back in public school." She looked thoughtful for a few minutes before saying, "Well, just to be safe, I'd like to do some more blood work and run this test again."

With a solemn nod, I followed her to the back lab. There, I had my blood taken again before I left with Grams for home, praying that the results would come out negative this time.

Grams and I headed to our favorite Greek restaurant after my blood work was done. She ordered a Greek salad and I ordered a beef Gyro, but neither of us ate much. "Danni, try and not worry too much," Grams said, trying her best to comfort me. She placed her hand on mine, and I looked up at her, studying her face. She looked older than ever, though she was only 62 and in great health. I smiled, trying to humor her as best I could. "The doctor's said the likelihood of you having a relapse was only one in 50." I nodded, not replying. I was afraid, afraid that this time I would be number 50 in that statistic list.

Once done at the restaurant, we headed home, where I went straight up to my room and lay on my bed. I turned the radio on quietly, Cut by Plumb filling the room. That was a song that I held close to my heart, especially now. When the lyrics flowed through about not wanting to be afraid or to die, I had to force myself not to cry. It was hard though, knowing what could happen in the next few months. But I made a vow that I wouldn't tell anyone, not even Eli or Anneliese...

The next day flew by, and I headed straight home to get ready to meet Anneliese's father. To make sure I made a good impression, I wore some of my better clothes: a solid black tank top, dark blue jeans without any self-made rips or holes, and my converse. I was excited to have her coming over, and I'd went and bought super fresh ingredients for dinner on the way home.

After getting dressed and cleaned up, I went out onto the porch and waited. A few minutes later a truck pulled into the drive, and Anneliese got out of the passenger's seat and a nice looking man got out of the driver's side. They made their way over, and I met them half-way.

"Hey Anneliese," I greeted her with a smile, and then turned to the man I was assuming was her father. "Thank you so much for letting her come over, Mr. Tasker."  
"It's no problem at all," he replied with a grin, and we shook hands. I began walking up the stairs and across the porch toward the door. "My grandmother's inside," I said, letting them step inside first. I then came in and led them into the kitchen, where Grams was washing the vegetables for me.

"Grams, this is Anneliese and her father. Mr. Tasker, this is my Grandmother Eliza," I said, introducing them. They began to talk, and Anneliese and I stood off to the side as they exchanged pleasantries.  
"I'm glad your dad agreed to let you come over," I said quietly with a smile. She nodded, looking as excited as I felt. "Me too, thanks again for inviting me." I nodded, "Of course! After all, what's Larry without Moe?" She giggled a little as her father walked over towards us.

"Alright Aka, I'm gonna head off. You two girls have fun, alright?" he gave us both smiles, and then hugged Anneliese before walking out the door. I looked over at her in question. "Aka?"  
"It means 'baby' in Japanese," she explained as we walked into the kitchen. "He worked in Japan a little while back." I smiled in approval. "That's pretty awesome. I'd love to get to travel. Especially to Europe." I thought about going to Brittan all the time, but I didn't let a lot of people know that.

I walked over to the stove and began to heat up the pan. I was making chicken and broccoli with ginger and honey sauce, a new recipe I was dying to try. I began cutting up the chicken, and Anneliese walked over. "Can I do anything to help?" I shook my head, "You're my guest. By Canada law, I'm not allowed to accept your help." I grinned at her to show I was kidding.

She put her hands on her hips, "Come on, like I'm gonna believe that!" She then picked up a knife and began cutting the broccoli up, though I objected.  
Grams was in the living room, supposedly giving us time to have our girl talk. So I took the opportunity to try and get to know Anneliese a little better. "So how are you liking Canada so far?" She shrugged her shoulders, "It's not what I'm used to, but I can't complain. You know, other than how I acted yesterday with James and everything." I held up my hand to stop her, "Don't apologize, Lise. It IS ok to cry sometimes, you know. Let's people know you have feelings, and that you're a caring person."

"I don't know. To be honest, it makes me feel week. Like, people know I can be vulnerable. I don't like that...I've had people use it against me in the past," she didn't look at me as she spoke, but down at the knife in her hand. It was shaking, and I could understand why. So I tried to comfort her.  
"Well, I can understand that. But don't think that everyone will use things like that against you," I smiled at her and put the chicken in the heated pan. "It's hard to know who you can trust most of the time, but if you look closely, you'll find a person's tell-tale sign."

The phone rang as she handed me the cut up veggies and I threw them into the pan too. I was making everything stir-fry style, a little different than mine and Grams' normal menu. I hoped Anneliese would like it, since I took a lot of pride in my cooking.

Grams came into the kitchen as I was adding the glaze to the meal. "Danni, I just got a call from Carol. She said Tori fell off her bike and hurt her arm. I'm going to have to drive them to the hospital." I nodded, "Alright, please be careful." Grams took off and I said a little prayer for them. Carol was Grams' god-niece, and Tori was her 6 year old daughter. She was pretty accident prone, so news like this wasn't unusual to us.

I heard the car leave the driveway, and I plated dinner for Anneliese and I, and put Grams' in the microwave. Then, I got us a couple of sodas from the fridge and lead the way to my room. "Usually we'd have dinner in the dining room, but since she had to run out, it's ok if we eat up here," I explained as we came into my room and sat on my bed.

She nodded and began eating, and I did too. The recipe came out pretty awesome, and I was happy to see Anneliese like it too. "Where'd you learn to cook?" she asked between bites. "Grams, and from the food network," I said with a little laugh. "Those cooks save my butt when I have no ideas for what to cook for dinner."

She laughed a little and finished up. "Well, it was great! You should consider cooking school after we graduate." I smiled, "I'd actually thought about that, but I don't know. Depends on if I can get some scholarships and such."

I finished with my plate and put it on the nightstand, accidentally knocking something on the floor. Anneliese picked it up and looked at it. "Is this you?" she asked, flipping the picture to where I could see it. Staring back at me was a blast from my past...an old family portrait.

"Yeah," I replied, smiling slightly at it. "Who all's in it?" she asked in curiosity. "Well, that's me and my twin brother Corey. And that's our parents," I said as she handed me the picture back. "I didn't know you had a twin," she said in surprise. I smiled a little, avoiding her eyes. "Not a lot of people do," I explained. I hadn't told my story to anyone, so I took a shaky breath and said, "See, when we were younger, Corey was diagnosed with cancer. He died not long after our sixth birthday."

"Oh wow...I'm so sorry," she said quietly. I smiled a little at her to try and hide what I was really feeling, "It's ok...things like that happen." She bit her lip before speaking again. "Um, what about your..." When she cut herself off, I picked up on the sentence. "After Corey died, my dad couldn't handle it. He took off and left my mom and me alone. And after about three months, she brought me here to Grams. I haven't seen her since."

She looked shocked, and I tried to liven things up. "Hey, no worries. Like I said, these things happen. And really, I'm better off here. Grams have been better to me than anyone else, and if I hadn't come here, I'd have never gotten the chance to meet Sav or Eli, or you Lise." She smiled, though I could see faint tears in her eyes, she leaned over and hugged me, and I returned it. She really was my best friend, and I appreciated that I could tell her things like that and she wouldn't judge me.

We broke apart and it was then that I noticed the fading bruise that was showing behind her bangs. That twinge I'd felt the first time came back, and I had to ask. "Lise...how did you get that black eye?" At first I could see fear in her eyes, and my mind went back to the day before.  
"Did your mom-" She nodded, and it was my turn to hug her. She was such a great person. I couldn't understand how a mother could hit her child like that, and without remorse. I felt a tear slip down my cheek before I managed to stop anymore.

When she pulled back, I saw her wiping her eyes; I took a tissue off my nightstand and handed it to her. "Thanks," she said, dabbing her eyes. "It's what I'm here for," I said quietly, placing my hand on her shoulder. She smiled a little and I told her, "If you ever need to talk about anything, you can always come to me. Anything, anytime, I'm here for you. When she saw that I meant it, she smiled and nodded. "And the same goes for me. Thanks Danni."

* * * * * ***************************************************************************  
We spent some more time together before her phone beeped, and she looked down. "My dad says he's on his way." I nodded and took our plates, heading for the kitchen. Once I dropped them in the sink, I walked with her out onto the porch to wait for her dad. A few minutes passed before headlights pulled into the drive, and Anneliese hugged me goodbye.

"I'll call you later this weekend," I told her after we parted. She smiled and nodded, "Thanks again for inviting me over. I really had a good time."

"Come over anytime, it was great getting to hang out like this," I replied. She agreed and walked down the steps, getting into her dad's car. I waved at them as they pulled off, and once the headlights disappeared, I went back inside and up to bed. And I as I was about to turn off the light, I noticed the little red blinking light on my answering machine. I pushed play to hear the voice of Eli blare from the speakers.

"Hey Danni, It's me...listen...call me back when you can, ok?"  
That was all there was to it, but it was enough to get me to call. He picked up after the first ring.  
"She's gone. They left this afternoon."  
"I'm so sorry Eli. Is there anything I can do?"  
"Well...I could use some company. Is it ok if I come over?"  
I was a little hesitant at first, but I agreed. "Yeah, come on over."  
"I'll be there in 10."

The line went dead, and I put the phone down to wait for Eli. But I never heard his car, and I assumed he'd changed his mind. But suddenly there was a tapping at my window which freaked me out severely.  
A muffled voice came from behind the glass. "Danni, it's me!" I walked over to the window and lifted it, letting Eli into the room. "Um, I have a front door for a reason, you know!"  
"I know...I just felt like coming up this way," he said sheepishly. He gave me a pouty look, and I had to smile. "Alright, you're forgiven this once. But don't scare me to death like that again, got it?"  
He crossed his heart, and we sat on my bed. 'Alright, what's up?"


	11. 9 Change in Life: Hospitalized

After my father picked me up, the drive home was pretty quiet. A uh-huh and a yeah was passed every-now-and-then, however, besides that, nothing. My father wasn't the type of man to ask questions nonstop nor was he the type to judge you.

I laid my head against the headrest of the seat, staring out of the window, taking in the scenery. Rain droplets hit the window every-now-and-then, reminding me of my father's and mine conversation. I sighed, getting lost in my memories.

Ever since I was little, I always wanted to be close to both of my parents; however, my mother wouldn't allow that. Whenever my father would side with me, I was either being accused of sleeping with him or giving him head. Still to this day, I do not understand why my mother would think that I would do that to my father.

My attention was diverted from my thoughts back to the road, when my father slam breaks. By this time, it was pouring outside, a total mess. My father put the car in park and told me to remain in the car. I waited half out of it due to the fact that I was reminiscing.

I looked out of the window; however I didn't see my father anywhere. I checked my cell, allowing him ten minutes before I went into panic mode. After the ten minutes passed, I decided to step out of the truck and see what was taking so long, figuring that it was a flat tire or something along those means. However, when I got out of the truck, I wasn't prepared to see this.

My eyes widen at the sight of my father, passed out on the ground. The only thing I knew what to do was run to him. I fell beside his side, checking his pulse. I finally found one, and flipped him over so he wouldn't suffocate his own self. I looked around; however, the only thing I could see was darkness.

"Anneliese..." My father choked, "...get out of here..."  
"Dad! Dad, hang in there!" I screamed running back to the truck to get my cell to call for help. I searched the entire truck, however, my cell phone was nowhere to be found, and I knew that I left it on my seat. I returned back to my father, struggling to lean his body weight against me, although I knew that I wouldn't be able to get him that far.

"Anne..."he cried before coughing up blood, "you mustn't waste time with me..."  
"Dad...I'm not leaving you..." tears were streaming down my face. I placed his body onto the ground so I could drive the truck to him.

After a year of swearing that I wouldn't drive ever again, especially what had happen, and now I had to or my dad would die. I jumped into the truck, cranking the engine, and gently stepped on the gas. When all of a sudden, I was hit upside my head with something hard. My vision went blurry however I could still hear, somewhat. The voice reminded me that of my mother's but how in the hell was she out here?

I awoke hours later, not really for sure what time it was. As I looked around the room, I noticed that I was in a hospital bed, with IV's hooked up to my arms. The bed that was next to me was blocked off by a curtain, however a gut feeling told me that it was my father. I went to get out of the bed however a sharp ran through my head, and then the machine that was hooked to me started beeping. A nurse ran into the room, forcing me to lie down, even though I was stubborn. The only thing I was able to whisper out was "Dad..." before I fell back to sleep.

When my eyes opened again, the curtain that covered the bed next to me was pulled back however, the bed was emptied. I was still hooked up to the IV's and I wasn't able to move. I pushed the 'call nurse button' and moments later, a nurse appeared into my room.

"Yes, Miss Tasker, how can I help you?" her voice was soft.  
"Um...where is my father?"  
"He's in surgery at the moment."  
"W-what! What happened? Is he OK?" I rambled, I was in panic.  
"Calm down Miss Tasker...he will be fine after the surgery" and with that she left.

I looked at the monitor on the machine and decided to turn them off. I had to get out of this room and find my dad. I was worried that something was truly wrong with him. I didn't know why he was in surgery for or what his injury was.

I tip-toed out of the room, peeking through a crack in the door, once seeing that it was clear, I ran for it. I searched the signs until I found, 'Surgery Room'. Once seeing that I needed a card to swap in order to get into the room, I decided to find some doctor or nurse clothes.

I ran down the hallway, not looking where I was running, when all of a sudden I fell onto my ass. I looked up, seeing Sav's worried eyes staring back at me.  
"Anneliese, how are you feeling? Wait...why are you in a hospital gown, running down the hallway?"  
"My dad's having surgery and I need to make sure he is OK..."  
"Please calm down, and I will find out. Please go back to your room. You need to heal." His voice was full of concern; however, what was his deal? What was he hiding from me?

"Sav, what's wrong?" I moved my gaze to him, shocked about what I saw.  
Sav was laughing maliciously, his eyes narrowed, as if he was glaring at me with an intent to kill. I gripped the bedrail, actually afraid of him for the first time. What the hell was going on? I thought to myself. Sav has never looked at me like that before, what did I do wrong? He moved slowly to me, crawling onto my bed, his body over my own. My heart was pounding, as my body began to shake. He lifted his left arm over my head, I guessed leaning it against the wall or grabbing something; and I was correct. He grabbed a needle and slid it across my throat. I gasped, feeling the blood rushing out of my slit throat.

I gasped once again, my eyes opening up, my breathing heavily. I looked around the room, no Sav. I sighed from relieve.  
"It was only a nightmare…" I said to myself.  
I looked over seeing my father in the bed next to me. Tubes and machines were hooked to him and before I could go into a deeper investigation, the nurse walked in.

"Miss Tasker, you're finally awake I see." She had a faint smile upon her face, "Is there anything I can get you?"  
"Yes…"I snapped, "answers!"  
She nodded, grabbing the chair beside my father's bed and rolled it over to me.  
"Well this morning, your father and you were found on the outskirts of the road. We received a call from a Daniella Clovin saying that her friend and her father's truck were wrecked. When we got there, we found your father easily. He had a busted lip, broken nose, leg, arm, three ribs, and he was going into cardiac arrest. The ambulance took him straight to the hospital and we continued looking for you. However at first it was no luck, but your friend found you in a small ditch about a half of a mile down the road. Apparently who got your dad, got you as well and dragged you from the scene. Once we went to you, the sight…" the nurse stopped, I guess deciding if she should go in such detail with me, "you where covered in mud and blood, which later we realizing that you had a broken leg as well and a fractured spine. Your face was bleeding however; we think that came from the small head concession."

I sighed, wondering who in their right minds would hurt my father and me. The only person that had it out for us was my mother, but she was locked up in jail.  
"Don't worry Miss Tasker, in time your memory will come back and maybe you will have your answers." She said before walking out of the room.

Since it was late, my father and I weren't allowed any visitors and about two hours later my father had woken up. I could tell that he was very weak, and with the air tube down his throat, he wasn't able to talk. All he could do was stare at me, and his eyes, that matched mine, were apologetic.

"Dad, please don't look like that…it's not your fault and you should know that." I mumbled before my voice escaped from me. I felt like I was mute and couldn't express my feelings or thoughts. I began getting sleepy and fell back to sleep.

Over the week that my father and I were in the hospital, we had a lot of visitors, mostly Danni and Sav. It was surprising that this whole time that I was in the hospital, not one time did James ever tried finding me or came to see me. I knew deep down, something was up, and would found out what it was one day.

When my father and I were released, we went straight home to relax and get away from the sickliness of the hospital. My father had a cast on his arm and a boot-cast on his leg and he was on some heavy meds for his now heart-problem. As for me, I had my right leg in a cast, which I hated but at least I didn't need crutches.

My father didn't return back to work for a couple of days, and I didn't return to school either. The pain was still unbearable and I didn't want to face everyone yet. I could hear the gossip now, "How do you think that happened?" "I don't maybe, her and her father got into it."

Even though, I knew I would have to return, and soon. And when that day finally came, I was able to walk better in the cast.

School was normal I guess, not a lot of gossip in front of my face like I thought it was going to be; however Holly J. kept cutting her eyes my way. What the hell was her problem? I didn't do anything to her, so what was her deal? I thought to myself, kind of fed up with her attitude.

She walked up to me, I figured she was going to make a smartass comment, but I was wrong. She handed me a letter with my name on it.  
"What's this?" I asked, somewhat confused.  
"That came for you the other day, and I am over the mail for students. Don't worry I didn't open it." She said before walking away.  
"Hey…Holly J." I yelled behind her, "Thank you!"

I opened the letter slowly, seeing that it was from…


	12. 10 Change in Life: Something New

Eli and I talked for a few hours. Mostly he kept the conversation going, and I listened. He talked about Claire, how much he missed her already. I could tell he was really upset, but the only thing I could do was listen and hope that it would be enough.

When the sound of the car pulling up reached my room, I turned to Eli. "You'd better go. I don't want her getting the wrong idea," I whispered, and he nodded and headed for the window. By now, the heavy rain was pounding at the glass, and I didn't want him to walk in this weather. "Wait here," I said, getting up, "and I'll get the car and drive you home." And before he could object, I walked out of the room and downstairs.

Grams was coming in, and I gave her a questioning look. "Everything's fine. I got them home safe and sound," she said with a smile and a stifled yawn. "I think I'm going to turn in," she added as she hung her coat up. I nodded, "Alright. Sleep tight Grams."

She kissed my cheek and went into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. I waited a few minutes before I took the keys off the table, then headed out the door, pulling my hood over my head. I still managed to get wet as I jumped in the car, so I jacked up the heater in hopes that it would dry me off and backed out so Eli could see the headlights.

He jumped down and landed on his feet, jumping in the passenger's seat. "You don't have to do this," he said as he clicked his seatbelt and I pulled out onto the road. "No objections," I stated simply. "Now which way am I going?" He pointed to the left, and I turned onto the main road. I kept the radio off and the windshield wipers on high. The weather was getting nastier by the minute, and the rain made it hard to see sometimes.

"Sorry I have to take it so slow," I said to Eli. "This is a nasty storm." He nodded and didn't reply, and I concentrated on the road. As we drove farther though, I began to get a really bad feeling. It was almost like some impending doom, and it sent chills down my spine.

Not a second later, I saw why. Anneliese's father's truck was turned upside down, propped up on a tree almost like a broken toy left by some huge toddler. I brought the car to a screeching halt, almost wrecking myself.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Eli questioned as I threw the car into park and jumped out. I saw Mr. Tasker laying through the busted window frame halfway, and instinct took over me right away. I ran over to where his body was, checking for a pulse. I could feel his body convulsing, but I couldn't get a response from him.

I turned back toward the car to see Eli running toward me. "Give me your cell," I said, and he threw it to me. With shaky hands I punched in 911 and went to the other side of the truck, looking for Anneliese.  
"911, what's your emergency?" the operator asked. "Yes, I need an ambulance," I said, trying desperately to remain calm. "My friend and her father have been in a wreck." The operator said, "Alright miss, can you tell me where you are?" I had no idea. My mind was blank, mostly because I couldn't find Anneliese. "I-I'm not sure. It's about five miles south of Collins Park Drive, on the main highway. One of the passengers is missing, and the other is in bad shape."

"Ok honey, try and stay calm. What's your name?" she asked, and I heard Eli call out at the same time, but I couldn't understand him. "My name's Daniella Colvin," I told her, going back towards Eli. "Alright Daniella, we've got Paramedics on the way. Stay there, they'll be there soon."

The line went dead then, and I saw Eli's phone was dead. I dropped onto my knees beside him, fighting the panic that was rising inside me. "I can't find Lise!" He tried to get me to stand up, "Danni, the glass-"  
I couldn't move. I heard Mr. Tasker start coughing, and from the light of my car, I could see blood coming out of his mouth and nose. "He needs a doctor now," I said to Eli, looking at him knowing just how helpless I was right then. He got to his knees and put his hand under my chin so we were looking each other in the eyes. "Stay calm Danni. They're coming, and they'll find Anneliese. I promise you."  
The sirens split the air, and they pulled up to the scene. Two of the EMT's jumped out and ran over to Mr. Tasker, and a third took me and Eli aside. "Are you two alright?" he asked, and Eli spoke up for me. "We're fine, we just came up on the accident. There was another passenger, but we can't find her."  
"You know this for sure?" he asked, and I nodded. "They were at my house just a couple of hours ago. It's my best friend, Anneliese." He nodded and turned to his partners. "Get him to the hospital and call for another ambulance. We've got another person missing."

They already had Mr. Tasker on the stretcher, a brace on his neck and strapped in. He looked terrible, but they said he was alive at least. They rushed off with him, leaving just Eli, me and the other paramedic, who's name was Matt.

"Are you the one who called in the accident?" he asked me, and I said yes, looking around the truck. I saw blood all throughout the cab, and on the steering wheel. The windows were busted, and the driver's door was open. I hadn't noticed until then that Mr. Tasker had been on the passenger's side, and that made me worry all the more and made me realize that this might not had been an accident after all.  
I ran into the woods, fear striking my heart and making me think the worst. With the little bit of light from the car, I managed to get down an embankment and look around a little bit. And then I saw her, lying in a ditch facedown. I began to scream that I'd found her, and I ran beside her, falling to my knees again. I wanted to turn her over, but something told me not to. The distorted look of her leg and body told me something was terribly wrong, but I couldn't touch her...

I didn't hear the footsteps come up behind me, so when Eli and Matt appeared, it seemed out of nowhere. Matt got down and looked at Anneliese, trying to get a response out of her. But there was none, and he took off up the hill back towards the ambulance. I was shaking by now, thinking that she might be too far gone to save. I couldn't understand how she'd gotten all the way down here...

Matt was back moments later with a backboard, and he strapped her in gently before getting her turned over. It was only then that I got a good look at how messed up she was. Her entire body was covered in mud and blood, and her leg was twisted the wrong way. And because there wasn't much light, I couldn't see if she was breathing or not.

Matt and another paramedic took her back up the hill, and Eli led me back up towards the ambulance. They were loading her up when we got there, and I couldn't look. Eli asked them, "Is she alright?" Matt sighed and wouldn't look us in the eye for a moment. But when he did, the look wasn't good. "Do you want the truth?" Eli nodded, and he continued. "She looks pretty bad. To be honest, I don't know if she or her father are gonna make it."

I heard myself gasp, and I threw myself into Eli's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, stroking my hair. Matt said nothing else and the ambulance took off, leaving Eli and I in the pouring rain. He didn't try to push me off him or pull away, but he spoke softly. "I'll drive us to the hospital, alright?" I nodded into his chest, and he took me gently by the arm and put me in the passenger's seat before getting in the driver's side. He then pulled his cell phone out and hit a speed dial button, putting the phone to his ear.

"Hi Mrs. Eliza, this is Eli. I'm sorry to call you so late, but I wanted to let you know that I'm taking Danni to the hospital," he spoke into the receiver. "No, she's not hurt. Her friend Anneliese was in a bad car accident, and I'm driving her to the hospital. She's too upset to drive, so I didn't want her wrecking herself. I'll have her home as soon as we know if Anneliese is alright. Yes ma'am, thank you."  
He hung up, and began driving into town. We arrived at the hospital a few minutes later, and after parking, we ran inside and asked for Anneliese or her father's room. The receptionist told us that they were both being taken care of, but to wait in the waiting area. Eli lead us over and we sat on a couch, waiting for a doctor to give us some information. The entire time, Eli never took his arm from around me.

* * * * * ***************************************************************************  
It took some time, but eventually a doctor came out and we were able to get some information. But I had to lie and say I was Anneliese's sister before he'd talk to me or Eli.

"They're going to be fine," he told us to our relief. "But they will need to get a lot of rest. Mr. Tasker has quite a few injuries that could have been fatal. As for Anneliese, she's doing alright now. Her leg is broken, and we believe she may have a concussion, but she's otherwise unharmed." He then smiled at me. "You were very lucky to find them when you did. They owe you their lives."

Eli squeezed my shoulder gently, and I asked if I could see them. He shook his head. "Neither of them is awake at the moment, and visiting hours ended at seven. But if there is any change in either of their conditions, we'll be sure to let you know." I nodded, reluctant to leave without seeing with my own eyes that they were alright, but there was nothing more I could do. Eli lead me back to my car and had me sit in the passenger's seat again. We drove back to my house in silence.

It was officially the early morning when we got back to my house, but the rain had finally stopped falling. Eli walked me to the front door, but stopped short on the porch. "I know you intended to drive me home, but I think you need rest more than anything right now."

I was reluctant and went to argue, but he cut me off. "Danni, you've had a long night. Just...do this for me, please?" The look in his eyes stopped my words short, and all I could manage to do was nod. His face fell into a relieved look, but he didn't move for a few minutes. Instead he looked me in the eyes and pulled me into an embrace. "Thank god it wasn't you," I heard him whisper, "And thank god you didn't have to watch your best friend die..."

I didn't understand why he was acting this way, but I couldn't find anything to say. Instead, I just let him embrace me, and I returned it. It didn't last but a few seconds, and he let me go, turning his face from me. I could have sworn I saw him wipe his eyes, but I couldn't believe it. He gave me a smile and I returned it, unlocking the door and walking in. I turned back to the outside and leaned against the doorframe for a second. "Thank you Eli. I mean it...you really kept me level-headed back there." He nodded, "It's the least I could do, trust me." He then backed up. "Get some sleep Danni."

"I will. Goodnight Eli." He threw his hand up over his shoulder and walked off, leaving me alone in the dark. Reluctantly I went upstairs and lay in my bed, but I got no sleep that night.

As soon as I could the next day, I went straight to the hospital. I saw Anneliese and her father, and they looked much better than the night before, and Anneliese was even smiling a little. Though they were covered in casts and gauze, the sight of them alive and breathing made me sigh in relief.

I spent most of the week there, sometimes with just the three if us, and sometimes with Eli and Sav. Anneliese seemed to enjoy our company, especially whenever Sav and I brought her some "Get Well" bears. They were both signed by us, and she seemed to love them.

The day they were scheduled for release, I had another doctor's appointment. Grams and I went through the same routine as before, driving into town to my doctor's office and awaited the news of the test results.

The doctor came in with my file in hand, and a blank look on her face. Grams took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "Well, how do things look?" she asked, her voice quiet. The doctor looked up, and the look in her eyes gave everything away. "The tests were positive."

I heard Grams gasp, and my heart stopped. I felt myself shaking a little, and Grams wrapped her arms around me. I felt her shaking too, and I knew she was crying. I wasn't though, I was in shock. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard...

"But you said it was a one in 50 chance that she would have a relapse," Grams said, wiping her eyes with a tissue. The doctor looked grim as she replied, "We thought so, but apparently we were wrong. Now, we can start you on chemotherapy in a week Daniella. You'll have to come in once every two weeks for radiation, and the medication may make you sick so we'll make sure to give your school a call and let them know ahead of time. Alright?" She tried her best to smile at me, but I was too far out of it to return it.

I didn't go to school for a few days. I just couldn't manage to get over the news as fast as I usually would. This time, it was different. This time I had friends that I cared about, and had no way to tell them...  
I received a couple of phone calls from Eli, but I didn't return them. Grams understood and told him I was down with the flu and wouldn't be back in school until Monday. And though she had work, Grams took off for the few days to be at home with me. Sunday night she say on my bed, stroking my hair as I faced the opposite wall. "Danni, I know how hard this is on you. But I want you to know that I love you, and I'm here for you."

A few tears were sliding down my cheeks in the dark, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her. "I know Grams. You're the only one who has been." I heard her clear her throat before speaking again. "I know you're scared. I am too. But with a little faith, I know you can get through this. You're a fighter Danni. You always have been."

I sat up and turned to her, seeing the years were evident on her face. She was just as scared as I was. It made the tears come at last, and I let her hold me as I cried. She didn't say a word, just stroked my hair and let me cry.

After I got myself together, I looked up at her and wiped my eyes. "Grams, can we keep this to ourselves? I don't want anyone to know. Not Sav, not Eli, and not Lise. Ok?" She nodded in agreement and kissed my forehead, leaving the room to let me sleep. But I didn't get any again that night.

The next day I went through school like normal, avoiding the gazes of others for fear that my secret might be on my face. But I was pretty good at hiding my emotions, so I felt there wasn't much of a reason to be afraid of them seeing.

After a couple of classes, I was heading for the lunch room when I saw Holly J approaching Anneliese. I got into protective mode and went to go over, but she turned and walked past me, cutting her eyes my way. I rolled mine and headed over to Anneliese, seeing the piece of paper in her hand for the first time.  
"Hey Lise," I said with a smile. "What'cha got?"


	13. 11 Change in Life: Friends & Halloween

I could feel myself shaking as I stared down at the letter, seeing that it was 'sincerely signed by my mother. I widen my eyes, not waiting to believe that she caused all of this. I heard Danni ask 'what I had' but I was too afraid to say anything. I managed to mumble, "It's from my...mother..."

Before I could say anything else, Danni snatched the piece of paper from my grasp and read over it and then yelled, "What kind of Mother would write this to their child?"  
I took the letter back from her, to read the letter for myself, and I couldn't believe what Mother had to say:

Anneliese:  
If you are reading this, that means you lived through your little accident. I told you that I would return for you and I meant what I said. You think he wants you more than me, think again, little girl. Besides, I don't think you could even satisfy a man. Just take your 'supposedly' boyfriend, James. If you two were close, then way has he been having sex with me..."

I no longer could read any more. I balled the piece of paper up and tried to hold the tears back but it was useless. I collapsed onto Danni's chest, crying like I was a baby; however, I think this is one time that I could. Danni stroked my back, trying to keep me calm. I stood back up moments later, wiping the tears from my eyes and said softly, "I'm sorry Danni...when things like this happen, I can't help but cry."

She nodded and said with a smile, "I told you, you can always come to me with anything."  
I nodded, "Thank you."

I threw the paper ball into the trash and Danni and I headed to class. School went by quick-like; however, since I've missed the last couple of days of the Student Council Meeting, I decided to go to it. Went I first entered into the classroom, I saw Holly J. leaning against the wall, staring out of the window. I walked over to her and leaned against the wall too.

"Thanks H.J." I said, "It means a lot for you to do that for me..."  
"Well, it's nothing to get emotional about. I heard that you got into a wreck and I thought that it was only right if you received the letter."  
I nodded. Maybe I was wrong about Holly J. this whole time. True enough, she could be a royal bitch at times, however, deep down, she's kind of nice. Maybe we could put our differences aside once and for good.

The creaked open behind us, someone walking into the room with box stacked onto of each other hiding his or her face. I hobbled over to them, removing some of the boxes from the stacks, revealing Sav's face.  
"Well hey stranger! I see that you made it today. How are you feeling?" his voice was full of concern.  
"I'm fine Sav. Thanks!" I smiled.  
"Well, I'm glad." He smiled back, "Oh, yeah. Anneliese, you know that the Halloween Dance is next week, so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me."  
My heart skipped a beat, my face going red as I nodded, "Yeah, why not?"  
"Great!" his smile was all the way across his face, "now let's finish the plans for the dance."  
We both laughed at the idea of finishing the dance, and we got to work. I read over Sav's ideas for the dance. They were pretty good, however, something was missing.

"Let's see..." I said aloud, "the decorations sounds good, food and drinks sound good, but I don't know about the entertainment. I mean this is a Halloween Dance, so it needs to be more...Halloweenish."  
He nodded, going to point at the idea on the paper however he ended up touching my hand. We both looked at each other, smiles crossing our faces. I don't know how long we sat their gazing into each other eyes but it felt kind of nice.

I heard H.J. in the background, noticing that she fell. I jumped up, hobbling over to her, giving her a hand up. She thanked me, and continued walking out of the class room. Moments later, I said my goodbyes to Sav, however before I could walk out of the school; he was calling out behind me.

"Hey Anneliese! Um...I was wondering, if you would like to come over Saturday?"  
I shrugged my shoulders, "sure! Why not? But wait...what about your parents?"  
"It's fine with them..."  
I nodded and we agreed to meet up around noon Saturday.

When I finally got home, my dad was sleeping on the couch. I sat down beside him, laughing at his snoring. He sounded like a bear on steroids. I went upstairs and checked my cell, seeing that James called when I was at school. I called him back, not expecting him to answer, but he did.

"Anneliese! Are you OK?" I could hear the panic in his voice.  
"I'm fine James...just a broken leg."  
"How did this happen?"  
"I don't know exactly, I really can't remember too well." I sighed, not believing that I lost my memory of that night.  
The conversation continued and an hour later, I was surprised about what he asked me.  
"Well, I don't know if you still wanted to or not, but the school is having its dance this Saturday, and I wanted to know if you would come with me?"  
"Um...actually...I have plans that day...I'm sorry, but I can't break them..."  
I heard him sigh, "Oh, that's OK baby. Don't worry about it."  
"I'm really sorry that I can't."  
"Nah, don't worry about it. Well baby, I have to go. I love you, and if you need me for anything, please give me a call."  
"Sure thing."

And then the line went dead. I rolled over on my bed, noticing my father standing in the doorway. I jumped up out of shock.  
"Dad...what are you doing standing there?" I asked out of curiosity.  
"I am proud of you..."he had tears in the corner of his eyes, "instead of cancelling your plans with Sav to go with James, you didn't."  
"Wait...how did you know about that!" I yelled.  
"I'm your father...I know everything...besides I like that Sav boy better than that James any day. I think you finally upgraded from James."  
"DAD! OUT!" I screamed, throwing the pillow toward him, missing him, hitting the door. I could hear him outside of my door laughing his ass off. I sighed; sort of disappointed because this was my chance to spend some time with James, but I couldn't stand Sav up.

All that night, I could not sleep, and when the alarm went off, I came to my decision. I got dressed for school and hobbled to school. Once I got there, it went by really quickly. After class, I went to the Meeting, and pulled Sav to the side. I could tell that he was excited about us hanging out tomorrow.

"Sav...I can't come over tomorrow after all. I forgot that I already made some plans with my father since it's his birthday."  
"That's fine." He said with a smile. "I understand that completely. Maybe next time?"  
"Sure thing!"

After the meeting, I went home, trying to think of something to tell my father. Finally I came up with the idea that Sav and I had to go to the mall to get some supplies for the dance; and that was exactly what I told him and he bought it. I went up stairs, planning the rest of my plan out. I picked up my cell and dialed his number.

The next morning, I tiptoed downstairs, seeing that my father was not home, and then I ran back upstairs. I got my black dress and matching black three-inch heels and ran outside, waiting for my ride. When I saw the car in site, I threw the dress and heels into the backseat, crawling into the front.

"Thanks Declan. I'm sorry that this was short noticed but I couldn't trust anyone else, without hurting someone's feelings."  
"Not a problem" he said with a smile on his face.  
We began driving, and four hours later, we were back in my hometown. Everything appeared the same. The streets were decorated for the dance, and I could not wait. Declan let me use his backseat as a changing room, which I knew why he was OK if I did. I changed quickly, and surprisingly, he did not peek out me once. I stood out of the car, his eyes glistering, "You look beautiful!"  
"Thanks!" I could feel myself blushing. I walked into the gym where the dance was being held, seeing some of my old friends. Whispers filled the room, and I could tell that I was the talk of the town.

I finally saw one of my best friends, Ashlee, in the corner, looking down at her feet. Ashlee was never like this before. She was always very social and into everything. So why was she by herself? As I approached her, she glanced up, letting a scream out.

I embraced her, "Ashlee! How are you?"  
"Anne, I can't believe you're back!" tears were streaming down her face.  
I released her, "why are you here by yourself?"  
She refused to look me in my eyes.  
"Ashlee, you know you can tell me anything."  
"Anne...after you left, Crystal took over everything you did; and when I told her that she could never be you, she publicly humiliated me."  
"What? Crystal?" I asked, baffled.  
She sighed, "Go upstairs, to the second room and you will see what I mean..."

I went upstairs to the second room as Ashlee said, however before I walked in, I could hear moans and groans coming through the wall. It didn't take a genius to know what was going on in there, but what did that had to do with me. Maybe Ashlee got the rooms mixed up. I began to walk away until I heard James' voice also come from that room. I turned around violently, and gently turned the knob, and of course it was locked. My rage was going through the roof, and I kicked the door down with my good leg.

There on the bed naked was James and Crystal. Their eyes got wide and James jumped up at the sight of me.  
"Anne, look I can explain." he stuttered.  
"NO SAVE IT!" I screamed. The emotions I was finally were a combination of betrayal, hatred, and pissed.  
James approached me, everything still revealed, and I could no longer keep myself under control. I took my foot and shoved it onto his...let's say private area, and acted as if I was outing a cigarette on the ground. His screams made me do it even harder, until I saw Crystal trying to leave. I grabbed her by her hair and threw her back onto the bed.

"Where do you think you're going little whore?" I snapped, "Leaving? I don't think so!"  
"Anne...what are you going to do?" her voice was cutting in and out from fear.  
"Nothing! You want him, then have him!" I turned to James, "We are officially OVER! All you ever do is think about your sexually needs. You don't think with your head, you think with your dick!" then I turned back to Crystal, "and you! All you ever wanted was to be me, well you know what, I was NEVER a whore like you!"

I went to walk out of the room when James grabbed me by my arm, "Anne, we need to talk!"  
"I don't want to hear anything from you, you lying bastard!"  
Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed his fist moving toward me. I squinted my eyes, however I never felt anything. I opened my eyes seeing Declan, forcing his fist back.

"Declan..." I murmured.  
Declan forced James' wrist back until it cracked. James grabbed it cursing and Declan placed his hands around m wrist, "Baby, are we done here?"  
I nodded, leaving the lying bastard and whore behind.  
Once we were outside, I hugged Declan, thanking him.  
"It's no problem, sexy lady! What are friends for?" he reveal a smile.

He drove me home and I changed the backseat once again, and when I saw that my father wasn't home I grabbed my stuff and went over to the driver-side, and kissed him gently on the cheek, "Thank you Declan that meant a lot to me."  
I then went inside going upstairs putting my dress and heels back up.

I collapsed onto my bed and feel asleep. The next morning, I went downstairs and saw my father at the table eating breakfast.  
"So...how was your time with Sav?" his voice was plain, not excited or anything.  
"Um...good..." I lied.  
"Well, that's good. Too bad, that Sav came by here yesterday, wanting to know if he could do anything since it was my birthday..."  
Damn...busted..., I thought to myself.  
"So, where were you? It must have been important since you had to lie to me."  
I sighed, "Dad, the other day James told me that there was a dance back at my school and I thought that was perfect for us to spend time together...and I should have just told you..."  
"Well what do you think your punishment should be?"  
"Grounded..."  
"Exactly and you will be the one that has to tell Sav that you lied."  
"Yes sir," I said with a sigh, "but if it makes anything better, I found James last night in bed with Crystal...it's over!"  
I ran upstairs, tears falling behind me. Moments later, Father was beside me, with his hand on my shoulder.  
"I know this must be hard. How about this, you are grounded for a week."  
I nodded and asked him if I could call Sav and he nodded, leaving me.

I dialed his number, his mother answering the phone.  
"Mrs. Bhandari, is Sav home?"  
"Yes he is, one second."  
Moments later Sav was on the phone, "Hello?"  
"Hey Sav...um...can we talk?"  
"Sure, about what?"  
"No in person?"  
"Yeah, I'll be over in a bit."  
The phone went dead and in about twenty minutes, Sav was at my door. My father let him in and told him that I was upstairs in my room. When he entered, my heart skipped a beat once again. He sat beside me, staring into my eyes. He looked so hot, but I knew that since I did lie to him so I could go to my now ex, that would crush him.

"Um...about yesterday...I lied to you..." I stuttered.  
"What!" he was in shock.  
"Yesterday wasn't my father's birthday. James informed me that there was a dance at my school and I wanted to see him. So I lied to you to get out of hanging out."  
"You lied to me...why didn't you just tell me that you wanted to see him. Anneliese, I know that you and James are dating and I wouldn't try to come between you two because of my respect for you..."  
"Um...first off, we aren't dating anymore, and second, I was afraid..."  
"Afraid of what?" his voice was elevated, "look, I would rather you tell me next time. And wait...what happen between you two?"  
"I saw him in bed with another girl...he was cheating on me this whole time..." tears form in the corner of my eyes.  
Sav wrapped his arms around me, "Sshh...it's going to be alright. It's his lost. You are such a beautiful and fun-loving girl. Any guy would love to be with you!"

Once again, my heart skipped a beat. I looked up into his eyes, and then pressed my lips to his. He began kissing me back tenderly. I gently pushed him back onto my bed and placed his hands onto my body. Sav pulled away from me, "Anneliese, we can't be doing this...look you are heartbroken and I don't want to be your rebound guy. That's the only reason you kissed me."

I sat up, quiet and broken. Even Sav, who I thought was interested into me, was not. Sav got up and let himself out.  
I grabbed my cell, calling Danni, only getting her voicemail.  
"Hey Danni, it's Anneliese. I think I messed things up with Sav. So I don't think him and I will be friends anymore. Well girl I hope things are OK. You seemed down the other day. Hey I know what, maybe this Friday you could come over and spend the night; and see if your grandmother wants to come too, that way she can see you before we head off to the dance. Alright, I'll let you go! Bye!"

I sighed, placing my phone on the nightstand beside my bed. I buried my face into one of my pillows, remembering the words Sav said, "…I don't want to be your rebound guy. That's the only reason you kissed me…"

"Maybe he's right…"I said aloud, "maybe I only kissed him because of what James had did to me…"  
I laid on my bed hours thinking and talking to myself about the situation. How would I ever face Sav again? How would I be able to get my friendship back with him?

My thoughts were drowned out by Danni's ringtone. I picked up my cell, answering quickly. Danni told me that she would be glad to come over Friday night and spend the night and prepare for the dance together. She also told me that she was sad about Sav and I but if it was for the best; however, I could tell by her voice that she really wasn't glad. After hanging up, I decided to pull an all-nighter and make the blueprints for the dance and get Danni to give them to Sav tomorrow afternoon.

It took me five hours to get all of the blueprints done, but this dance would be one hell of one. I gave it my all, and now it was Sav's turn to make it happen. So the after getting dressed, since school was in an hour, I decided that I should get to school early and give these to Sav.

I waited for Danni, and once she got onto school grounds, I handed her the blueprints and begged her to give them to Sav for me. I watched her leave and then I headed to class. However, there was no point in going since I slept in all of my classes. Even the class Sav and I had together, I slept through. Once school was over, I decided to go to the mall and get my Halloween costume. I wasn't for sure what I wanted to be this year. Last year I was a hot nurse, with a white skirt that was too short; but this year, I wanted to look sexy instead of hot. I browsed through the different costumes, but nothing grabbed out at me.

So seven stores later, I found the perfect costume for me. I looked at the nametag and it was called Theatrical Quality Deluxe Gothic Vampiress Adult Costume. It had a full-length, black and red satin gown trimmed with lace and accompanied by a jeweled choker and tulle petticoat and with finishing touches of spiked heels. It fit me well, so I decided to buy it.

Once I got home, I put my costume in my closet and went and took a shower. After getting out of the shower, I went downstairs and ate dinner with my father, telling her that Danni was coming over Friday. He said that that it was fine, and I went back upstairs and got ready for bed. The rest of the week was a blur, since I tried my best to avoid Sav. Every time he would look my way, I would duck behind a locker or another person. I was acting childish but still.

Friday afternoon, I waited for Danni to get out of class. I was really excited that she was coming to the house. Actually, she was the first person, besides Crystal that has been to my house ever. Once she met up with me, we waited for my dad to come and pick us up. The ride home was full of laughter, even from my dad. Apparently he bought a Halloween costume too, it was a chicken suit. Once we got to my house, I wasn't for sure what Danni's reaction would be. She was always hard to read out of anyone. But she didn't say anything, and if she did, I didn't hear her. We went upstairs and I showed her my costume, and I could tell that she had something planned up her sleeve.

"It's beautiful, Anneliese," she cracked a smile, "I bet Sav would love to see that on you…"  
"Danni!" I raised my voice and downed my head, "I doubt that…he's pissed at me…"  
"About what?"  
"Well, last Saturday we made plans to hang out, but I broke them because there was a dance at my other school; and I thought I could have spent some time with James; however…"I let my words trail off.  
"However?" she asked.  
"Well…I lied to Sav and went to the dance and saw James having sex with my now ex friend, Crystal. And when I got back, called Sav and told him to come over Sunday, and I'd…kissed him…"  
"You what!" she gasped.  
"Yeah, but he pulled away from me and said I only kissed him because I was heartbroken, which I mean does make sense. Normally I wouldn't have done something like that."  
"Well that does makes sense…I'm going to kick James' ass if I ever see him again. That bastard!"

Danni and I talked for about another hour until my father brought pizza up to my room, and two glasses of chocolate milk. Who in their right mind would mix chocolate milk and pizza together…apparently Danni and I. Afterwards, we got ready for bed, to rest up for the big day tomorrow.

The next morning, Danni went to get a shower, while I searched my room for my straightener and blow-dryer. When I finally found them, Danni was already getting out of the shower. I laid the straightener and blow-dryer onto my dresser and went to get a shower. Once I was done, I got out and blow dyed my hair and then straighten it.

Danni and I were ready to go by 6 and my dad drove us to the school. The school was still empty, but I wanted to check out the school decorations. Danni and I went into the school, seeing every wall colorful with decorations. There were some blood stains here and there, and handprints, just like in my blueprints. We walked into the school cafeteria and auditorium, where the dance itself would be held, and to my surprise, it was exactly how I pictured it.

Cobwebs, disco lights came from the ceiling; fog crossed the floor, as if something could grab at you at any moment, and tables full of snacks and drinks, games, and a cauldron filled up the rest of the room. Danni excused herself and went to the restroom, while I went to the stage and sat down, taking in the view of the room. Sav did an amazing job on getting all of the decorations to work perfectly. Moments later, Sav entered the room, dressed in a vampire costume. He made his way over to me and sat down beside me.

"Hey…" he murmured.  
"Hey Sav…"I replied, even though feeling awkward, "you did a great job on the decorations."  
"Thanks, but it was because of you and your blueprints."  
I leaned against him, "Look, I'm sorry about the other day, I was in a dark place and I guess I turned to the first guy."  
"Anneliese, it's OK, trust me, I don't mind if you kiss me, but just not because of another guy." He said and then began to stammer, "I mean…oh man…"  
I laughed and smiled at him, "Well I'm glad you feel that way. Wanna dance?"  
He took me by the hand and led me to the dance floor.

People began to fill the area, dance to the song, rocking back and forth. The song that was playing was Firework by Katy Perry. I laid my head on Sav's chest, hearing his heart beating rapidly. Did Sav really like me, or was he playing me? During the whole song, Sav and I just dance slowly, getting lost in the moment. At the end of the song, Sav raised my chin up, and gently pressed his lips to mine.

A few seconds later, he pulled away, both are faces red from embarrassment, and shock. I snuggled against his chest once again and said, "Thank you for everything Sav…"

About two hours later, a strange noise was coming from the halls. Sav, Eli, Danni, and I went to investigate, however nothing was in sight. It reminded me of a horror film gone wrong. Sav held my hand gently, guiding me through the darken hallway, until I heard Danni scream. I dropped his hand and ran back.

"Danni! Danni!" I screamed, "Where are you?"  
There was no reply. Did something get her? Is she OK? Is she alive? I shook my head, removing all of these horrible thoughts from my mind. The lights began to flicker, a dense fog floating behind me. My main focus right now was to fine Danni, nothing else.

Hours went by and still no Danni. I kept wandering over the same place, where I heard her scream; and yet still nothing, that is…until I fell.  
"Ow…"I said, rubbing my back, "Where am I?"  
It appeared to me that Degrassi had a secret room underneath the floor that one only could get there if and only if stepped on the floor a certain way. I looked around, finally noticing papers attached to wall built underneath the floor. There wasn't much light, but enough to read it.

MISSING GIRL  
Slender, brown hair, brown eyes, last seen in Degrassi High.

I skimmed over it however the date, 1991, threw up a red flag. This girl went missing way before Danni or I attended here. I searched the darkness until I felt more papers, and glancing over them, they said the exact same thing the first one did, except the dates were closer to recent year. The last date was a few years ago where a girl named Page Michalchuk.

I thought to myself, what the hell was going on? I continued to search the room underneath the school until I found myself coming out of a storm shelter. It must have been built under the school in case of a bad storm, but why would all those girls be missing? Moments later I heard Danni's voice behind me, and I turned, seeing her, and threw my arms around her neck.

"Thank God, you're OK!" I cried.  
"Yeah, I guess you saw it too, huh?"  
I nodded and we decided to tell Mr. Simpson about the missing girls; however when we told him, he didn't believe us, and when he went to search the storm shelter, nothing was found.  
"Girls, I understand that you two are in Halloween spirits, but please don't tell other students about that, because they might freak out."

Danni and I shrugged our shoulders, figuring we were just freaking out and our minds were playing tricks on us and return to the dance. 


	14. 12 Change in Life: Friends & Halloween 2

After I read the letter Anneliese's mother wrote to her, I wanted to hunt her down and give her a piece of my mind. The accident scene was forever replaying itself in my mind now, and I finally pieced it together: could Lise's mom have been the cause of it?

As much as I didn't want to believe a mother could do that to her child, the evidence was jumping out all the time now. I fought with myself on coming to terms with it, and with wondering if I should tell Anneliese. But something held me back, telling me it wasn't the right time for her to know. That little sixth sense I had told me better, and I chose to listen to it this time.

After classes, I was heading for home when I bumped into Sav in the hallway. He gave me a smile and asked how things had been going, since I hadn't been in school in a few days. "Things are ok," I replied. "I heard about the Halloween dance. Are you throwing it, or the entire student council?"  
"Me and Anneliese are working on it together," he replied. "Right now I'm trying to decide if we should have live music or just hire a DJ." I thought for a second before commenting. "Well, if you want, I could get my band to play. We're always looking for a gig."

His face lit up. Sav had heard me play guitar in a talent show back at Lakehurst once, and knew I was good at it. He agreed right away. "And let's keep it a surprise," he said, "we'll have some cd's play first, then later you guys could set up and play for a few songs." I nodded, "Sounds great!" We walked down the hallway toward his locker, where he took out a few boxes. "Do you need some help with those?" I asked, but he shook his head. "I've got it. Thanks though Danni."

He began walking down the hallway, and I suddenly got an idea. "Hey Sav!" He turned back to me, peaking over the boxes. "Yeah?" I smiled and leaned against the lockers. "You should ask Anneliese to the dance. I think she should go with someone she's good friends with, and seeing as I'm a girl and that might be weird, you're pretty much her only other option."

He laughed a little then said, "Yeah...I might do that. See ya Danni." He turned back and started walking away, and I headed out of the school and towards the mall. I was going to get the material to make my costume. I was pretty excited for the dance, and I would even admit that if someone asked me. Halloween was my favorite holiday, and I was pumped to get to dress up and have a blast with my besties.

I got the car from home and drove to the mall, heading for the sewing shop. I picked up a few different bolts of cloth, some needles and thread. Then I headed into Hot Topic and picked up two tubes of black eyeliner and some bright red hairspray. After paying for everything, I walked out into the food court and grabbed a cotton candy shake from the DQ booth.  
As I was leaving, I walked past the arcade and caught a glimpse of Eli and another boy playing House of the Dead. They were getting their butts kicked, and when they both died, I had to laugh and walk inside.  
"Well well, and I thought you were good at these games," I said as I approached them, and Eli turned around with a smirk on his face. "As I recall, Little Miss Zombie Girl died in the first five minutes the last time I played," he retorted. I stuck my tongue out at him, then turned to the other guy. "You'll have to find someone else to play with if you ever want to get past this level."

He laughed a little, then turned to Eli. "I think she's dissin' you Eli." He rolled his eyes and replied, "I'm used to it. Adam, this is Danni Colvin. Danni, meet Adam Torres." I held my hand out to Adam, and we shook hands. I noticed he had really soft hands, along with pretty soft features on his face. Though he acted like a guy, he had a feminine aura around him, but I was cool with that. He seemed pretty cool, and I figured we'd get along pretty well.

"So you're the girl Eli's always talking about," Adam said, and Eli punched his arm. "Shut it Adam," he said, dodging my look. I had to giggle a little, and I played along. "Really now? What does he say Adam?" Eli gave Adam a death look, and he didn't say anything, just turned back to the game and put more tokens in the machine.

"Wanna play Danni? You've gotta be better than Eli," Adam said, and I agreed. I rushed over to the token machine and put a five dollar bill in. When the machine spit out the little gold coins, I grabbed them up and rushed over throwing in two of them and picking up the plastic gun. "Let's do this thing!"  
We played for a good while, spending twenty dollars just to get to the end of the game. The three of us constantly tagged out to run and get tokens, and just as we almost beat the game, Adam and I were killed, and out of small bills. But it earned us a good bit of laughter as we exited the arcade. "I've never gotten that far," Adam exclaimed as we sat at a table in the food court.

"Neither have I," I replied, drinking the last of my shake. It had gotten runny as we'd played, but it was just as tasty. "It was a blast though, just getting to hang out with you guys. I might be replacing Eli with you Adam."  
"Hey hey, let's not get drastic now," Eli said quickly, causing Adam and I both to laugh. "Don't worry Goldsworthy, he can never replace you. I don't think anyone could be as big a smart ass as you," I retorted, and he nodded. "That's affirmative." Adam gave him a questioning look, "Affirmative? Dude, what the heck is wrong with you?" I smirked, "I think someone's smart talk must be rubbing off on him." He rolled his eyes, and Adam turned to me. "So how are you liking Degrassi Danni?" I shrugged, "It has it's moments. Like the dance coming up. Are you guys going?"

Adam nodded, "Yeah. I'm going as the classic Wolfman." I gave him a high five, "Very awesome! What about you Eli?" He shook his head, "You'll have to wait until the dance to see it." I tried to think of what kind of costume would fit Eli. "You should go as Austin Powers," I said with a smirk, and he gave me a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you-look. "What? It's Halloween. It's ok to go as a freak!"  
He laughed and said, "I'll think about that. What about you? What are you going as?" I decided to use his own words against him. "You'll have to wait and see. I'm not telling ANYONE." I got up from the table and threw my cup away, then got my bags. "I've gotta head home. I've got band practice today. But thanks for letting me hang with you guys," I said and headed for the door.

I was throwing my bags in the trunk when I heard someone call my name. I turned to see Eli coming towards my car. "Everything ok?" I asked. The look on his face was different than usual, and I waited for him to speak. "Danni, are you going to the dance with anyone?" I shook my head, and he continued, "Because Adam's taking someone, and he's the only other person I really hang out with other than you. And it's pretty lame to show up alone, so if you want...maybe we could go together?"

"Eli Goldsworthy, are you asking me to be your date?" I asked, just joking of course. "Um, that could be considered the technical term, but since you and I never go by that, I suggest we go with two-best friends-who-just-so-happened-to-decide-to-go-together." I laughed, "Long titles are so us!" Then his face got serious, "But really, do you want to go together?" I thought for a second before nodding, "Sounds like a plan. I'll see you later." I got inside the car, waved at Eli, then took off for Nick's house.  
I arrived about 15 minutes later, parking my car on the street in front of his house. I left my bags in the trunk and ran into the garage, seeing Nick was the only one there so far. He was getting the equipment ready, and I rushed to help. He turned and saw me, and I gave him a smile. "I've got huge news!" I exclaimed, plugging in my Gibson to the amp. He raised an eyebrow, but I shook my head. "I want everyone to be here before I tell you." He sighed but didn't say anything else until Kasey, Dillion and Rafe showed up.

Once they were set up, I turned to them with a grin on my face. "Guys, I've got us our first gig!" They looked shocked and Kasey said, "Seriously? That's awesome Danni!" Dillion high-fived me, "You're a beast!" Nick smiled in approval and asked where and when we'd be playing. "At Degrassi, for the Halloween dance. Now I know it doesn't sound like much, but there's a thousand students there. And I've heard that one of them has parents in the recording business. Who knows? This could be out big break."

"It's great Danni, really," Nick said, setting up his mike stand. "It's gonna be next Saturday, and we're expected to wear costumes. But there's no real standard on what the costumes have to be, so go all out, ok?" They nodded, and we started rehearsing.

After a few hours I headed home and went through my normal nightly routine before beginning to work on my costume. I took the different fabrics and cut them just right, then sewed them together to make a dress. I made sure the seams were visible against the different cloth colors, and when I was finished, I held up my work and grinned from ear to ear.

It was an exact replica of Sally's dress from my favorite movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas. I tried it on, and was so glad it fit perfectly. That was why I preferred to make my costume instead of buying them. They never fit right otherwise.

I admired myself in the mirror. The different colors of cloth: yellow, turquoise, black, and pink all came together really well, along with the different patterns that were on each patch. And being able to see the seams made it even better, and with the stitches I was going to be drawing all over my body was going to pull everything together nicely.

I took the dress off and hung it inside my closet, more excited for the dance than ever before. I went to sleep that night with a huge smile on my face.  
At school the next day, we finally decided on the play we'd be doing for class. It wasn't a classic, but it was a story I could really relate to: A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks. Mrs. Dawes decided to have tryouts after school, since it was Friday and it would give her the entire weekend to decide on who would be getting each part.

I passed a note to Eli, making sure not to get caught. Are you gonna try out? I asked him. A few seconds later I received his answer, Yeah, but only because if I don't my grade's gonna be beyond help.  
After school, all those trying out met in the auditorium. I was surprised to see Holly J there, since she wasn't even in our class. But as it turned out, all Mrs. Dawes English classes were allowed to try out. And from the looks of it, there was going to be a lot of competition.

I sat in the third row beside Eli, who didn't seem to be nervous like I was. I loved acting, but I always got stage fright before any kind of tryout. "Don't worry, you're gonna do fine," he said, and I smiled. His encouragement was pretty, well, encouraging. I was getting excited now, and when Adam showed up, I was even happier. Though he wasn't trying out, he was going to be filming it, and he wanted to see who'd be getting involved with the play itself.

When everyone came in, and there were a good few people, Mrs. Dawes explained that she was going to have everyone try out alone, and then with a partner depending on which part they were trying to get. I was trying to land the part of Jamie, and apparently, so was Holly J. I rolled my eyes as she went onstage and read off her lines. She was alright, but I could NOT picture her as Jamie Sullivan.  
After a few more girls went up, Mrs. Dawes called my name. I whispered to Eli and Adam, "Wish me luck," before I headed up. I was handed the script, the exact same one they used in the film I might add, and was told to start whenever I was ready.

I took a deep breath and tried to find a focal point. The room was dark, except for the lights above me, so I focused on the back wall above Eli's head and read off my lines, putting just enough emotion into it as if I were just speaking and not reading lines.

When I finished, I got a round of applause and took a little bow before heading back to where Eli and Adam were. "Great job Danni," Adam whispered, and he gave me a fist pound. Eli didn't say anything. He was called up to read off his lines as Landon Carter, Jamie's counterpart. He was really good, and he had great focus. I loved his performance.

Once all the others were done, Mrs. Dawes called out the partner names for Jamie and Landon. Eli and I were paired up, and we looked at each other with grins. We were the last pair to go, and when we got up there, we were told to focus on each other for the scene. It was the scene where Landon and Jamie admit that they wanted to be together.

Eli was supposed to start, and when he began, I suddenly lost all thought of the rest of the world. We ran through our lines like they came from us and not a piece of paper, and when we were finished, the auditorium broke into a big round of applause.

We took our seats by Adam again, who seemed to be in some kind of shock. "That was really good. I mean, REALLY good." I smiled at him, then over at Eli. "I think we have a shot at this." He nodded, but his mind seemed to be somewhere else, and I didn't pry.

After auditions were over, Eli and I walked out together, but we didn't say much until we hit the parking lot. "Do you want a ride home?" he asked, and instead of saying no, I actually agreed. "Yeah, why not?" He smiled and we got into the hearse. He punched the cd player, and the Goo Goo Dolls poured out. Let Love In was playing, and I grinned. "This is my favorite CD!" He looked almost shocked, "It's mine too." I had no idea he was into the Dolls, and it made me respect him even more.

We pulled up in front of my house, and before I got out, I turned and said, "Are you doing anything tomorrow?" He shook his head, "Nope, I'm officially not booked for tomorrow." I smiled, "Good, because I have a surprise for you." He raised his eyebrow, and I reached into my pocket and pulled out two tickets to the Three Days Grace concert for the next night. His jaw dropped at the sight of them. "Danni, these have been sold out for months! How'd you-"

"I know a guy," I said with a smile. I was supposed to go with Nick, but I'd rather go with Eli any day. "If you're up for it-" He cut me off, "Totally! You rock for this Dans!" I grinned, glad that he'd agreed to go. I jumped out of the hearse, throwing my bag over my shoulder. Eli agreed to pick me up the next night at six to head to the concert. I had a feeling it was going to be epic.

I told Grams about going to the concert with Eli, and she was fine with it. She just asked me to take it easy, and I agreed. I could hardly sleep that night, and the next morning I rushed through my chores so I could get ready before six. Once I was finished, I jumped in the shower before getting ready. Tonight I was going all out. I threw on my blood red and black Three Days Grace band tee, my black ripped skinny jeans that showed a little of the fishnet stockings I was wearing, and my custom made blood red converse. Afterwards I straightened my hair, flaring the ends of my layers out a little. Then I put on a little eyeliner, the finishing touches adding a perfect balance to everything. I grabbed my camera and black leather jacket, along with my cd case just as I heard the beeping of the hearse's horn. Gram's was out, so I made sure to leave a note to tell her I'd left and that I had my cell if she needed me. Then with a grin, I ran out the door and jumped in the passenger seat.

I felt eyes on me, and I looked over to see Eli giving me the once over. He nodded in approval and I took out my cd and pushed it into the player, turning it to number 7. I Hate Everything About You poured out of the speakers, and we took off for the concert.

It was the epitome of epicness. For hours we sang, did some serious head banging, and just lived for the music. I took a lot of pictures of the band, and of Me and Eli together. And before the night was over, a few mosh pits formed and Eli joined in. He kicked so much ass, I might add.  
When it was all over, we went to the souvenir's stand on our way out. They had a lot of great things, but I was broke and couldn't afford anything. I excused myself to go to the restroom while Eli looked around, and after catching my breath, I smiled in the mirror. It was such a blast hanging out with Eli, he was such an awesome person.

Suddenly, a flash of his face came to my mind, and I found myself blushing. What was that about, I asked myself. But I had no answer.  
After a few minutes I went back out. The crowd had thinned out a good bit, and I spotted Eli easily. He was holding a bag in his hand when I got up to him, and I asked him what he'd bought. He grinned and took the item out. It was a guitar pick necklace, on a thick chain, just like Eli wore already. He told me to turn around, and I did, not sure what was going on. It was then he put the necklace around my neck and whispered, "Thanks for everything Danni. I hope you like it."

I turned around, and without thinking about it, threw my arms around him and gave him a huge hug. He returned it without hesitation, and after a few seconds we parted. "You, Eli Goldsworthy, are amazing," I told him. He smirked, "So I've been told." I mock punched his arm, "Egotistical much?" I asked as we headed for the parking lot. We laughed as we got inside, and he put in another cd. We drove back to my house with Three Days Grace continuing to play, and when we pulled up to the drive, I turned and gave him a smile. "I had a blast with you. Thanks for going with me Eli." He replied, "Thanks for taking me. I had a great time." Neither of us said anything as the next track started playing. It was Over and Over, my favorite song by the band.

I found myself really looking into Eli's eyes for the first time, and something about them brought a chill to my body, just like the first time I saw him. I couldn't pull away from their gaze. He couldn't seem to move either, but when I realized what was about to happen, I pulled back and got out of the hearse. "Thanks again Eli," I said with a smile. "Be careful going home." He nodded, "Night Danni." He then drove away as I walked into the house. I saw Grams in the living room, channel surfing, and I went and gave her a kiss goodnight before heading upstairs.

Once I was changed and in bed, I plugged my phone to the charger. It had died at the concert, and once it was back on, I saw I had a new voicemail. The caller ID read off Anneliese's number, so I punched in my security code and listened to what she had to say.

'Hey Danni, it's Anneliese. I think I messed things up with Sav. So I don't think him and I will be friends anymore. Well girl I hope things are OK. You seemed down the other day. Hey I know what, maybe this Friday you could come over and spend the night; and see if your grandmother wants to come too, that way she can see you before we head off to the dance. Alright, I'll let you go! Bye!'

I was hit with two different emotions by the voicemail: excitement for wanting to stay over with Anneliese, and confusion as to how she managed to mess things up with Sav. I racked my brain trying to figure out what was going on, but all I managed to do was get a headache.

I ran downstairs and asked Grams if it would be ok to stay with Lise, and she was perfectly fine with it. So I hit the speed dial on the phone and got her right away. I told her I was going to stay the night and how excited I was about it, and though I told her I thought things with Sav would turn out for the best, I wasn't really too happy to know they weren't going to be on the best terms.

After we hung up, I fell asleep pretty happy. But when I woke up the next morning, I was nauseous. I ended up vomiting a couple of times, but I didn't tell Grams. I couldn't let her know, or anyone else for that matter. So I cleaned myself up and got ready for school, just like any other day.

Once I was on school grounds, Anneliese ran up to me and tossed some blueprints in my arms, begging me to give them to Sav. I guessed whatever happened must have been bad if she couldn't even hand him some blueprints. So I agreed, since we had our first class together, and went off. Once I got into Math, I handed them to Sav. "Anneliese asked me to give these to you, since we had class together." I hoped she appreciated me covering her butt, but I didn't mind myself. I knew she'd do the same for me.  
Sav accepted them with only a thank you, and turned back to the lesson. I drowned it out, and every other class until English. That's where Mrs. Dawes gave us the good news: I got the role of Jamie, and Eli landed the role of Landon. I heard a few cat calls and whistles from those who apparently knew the plot of the story, and I found myself blushing again for some unknown reason. I touched the guitar pick around my neck, and wondered...

The rest of the week was packed with band practice and excitement for the weekend ahead. Friday morning I woke up sick again, but still kept it to myself. I would be starting Chemo that next Monday anyway, so there was no real point to telling anyone that I was getting sick now.

I got myself together and packed my bag for that night, and the next day. Though I still felt sick, I was ready to forget it all with two straight nights of fun with Anneliese, Eli, Adam and Sav. Classes went by surprisingly fast, and I met Anneliese at the front entrance. Her dad was waiting for us, and on the ride home, we had many laughs. I could hardly control myself when Mr. Tasker reveled his costume: a chicken suit!

Soon we pulled into their driveway, and I looked in secret awe at their house. It was a bit bigger than mine, and really nice looking on the outside as well as the inside. Anneliese took me upstairs to her room and took out her costume, an awesome red and black Vampiress dress. I loved it, and had to smile.

"It's great," I said, then with a scheming smile added, "Sav's gonna love you in that." I wasn't going to tell her the plan I had for getting their friendship patched back up. I hadn't told anyone yet, not even the band.

But she shook her head, "He's pissed at me." I had yet to hear the whole story, so I asked what went down. "Well, last Saturday we made plans to hang out, but I broke them because there was a dance at my other school; and I thought I could have spent some time with James; however..." When she didn't go on, I pressed for an answer. "However?" She continued after taking a deep breath. "Well...I lied to Sav and went to the dance and saw James having sex with my now ex friend, Crystal. And when I got back, called Sav and told him to come over Sunday, and I'd...kissed him..." I practically screamed, "You WHAT?" She nodded, "Yeah, but he pulled away from me and said I only kissed him because I was heartbroken, which I mean does make sense. Normally I wouldn't have done something like that." I had to somewhat agree with her on that part, "Well that does makes sense...I'm going to kick James' ass if I ever see him again. That bastard!" I had my hands in fists, pressing my fingernails into the palms of my hands. I meant that. I was killing James if I ever saw him again. I'd had a bad feeling for a reason...

We talked for another hour about random things, and I even showed her my costume. She loved it, and I was glad. Though I'd probably be the only one dressed like that, I was glad. It was unique, just like me. For dinner, we had pizza and chocolate milk. Yeah, it sounded like a weird combination, but to us, it was fantastic. And afterwards we turned in, giggling and excited for the next day.

The next morning, I got my shower first while Anneliese searched for her missing straightner and blow dryer. By the time I got out, she'd found them, and I used them while she got her shower. Once I got my hair just so, I threw my costume on, sprayed my hair a brighter red with the cans I'd bought at Hot Topic, then drew stitches all over my body, neck and face, making myself look like a rag doll. But I kept my necklace on, though Sally never wore one. I hadn't taken it off once since the concert.

Once we were ready, it was six, and we headed out for the school. We were the first to arrive, and when I saw the decorations, I nearly flipped out. Everything looked incredible! The bloody handprints and fog that came through the hallways made me feel like I was stuck in a horror movie, and that Jason or Freddie might jump out at any minute. I heard music coming from the gym, and I told Anneliese I'd meet her there in a second, that I had to go to the restroom.

Once I was inside the girl's room, I sent a text message to the members of the band, telling them to meet here at 8:45 for setup. I got confirmation from all three of them within minutes, and with a smile, I put my cell back in my bag and headed into the gym.

The room looked great, and as soon as I walked in, my eyes were drawn to the only couple in the room: Sav and Anneliese, dancing extremely close to one another. I smiled, having a feeling that my plan was going to come together quite nicely later on.

I walked over to the snack table, grabbing a pumpkin cookie. People were filing in now, and I kept an eye out for Eli. There was no sign of him after a few minutes, and I almost began to think he'd stood me up. But when I felt someone tap my shoulder, I turned to see Victor from The Corpse Bride looking me up and down.

"You look great Eli!" I exclaimed. He smirked, "Look who's talking. You pull Sally off epically." I grinned, glad to see someone else appreciated Tim Burton's work as much as I did. Then a song began playing, one I knew all too well, She's My Ride Home by Blue October. Totally sadistic, but who could complain? It was a Halloween dance, after all.

"So, wanna dance?" Eli asked. I was almost shocked, but I nodded, and he took my hand and lead me to the dance floor. He turned out to be a good dancer, and we twirled around the empty dance floor for the entire song. When it was over, I looked up at Eli, and for the first time, I felt my heart skip a beat. And I had to ask myself: Was I starting to fall for him? Another song started playing, and we broke apart, joining Sav and Anneliese. They were acting different, and I knew why. They were starting to realize they liked each other, and I was hoping that my plan was going to work for the best.

Not long after that, a strange noise began to come from the halls. One look between the four of us, and we all took off to investigate. Anneliese and Sav were in front of Eli and me, and soon I fell behind the three of them. Something didn't feel right at all, and I went to speak up, but I was suddenly grabbed from behind. I felt myself let out a loud scream, then I was pulled down into the dark.

I don't know how long I was out for, but when my eyes fluttered open, I saw I was in an open room, not like the school. I didn't have any idea where I was for sure, and when my eyes adjusted to the little bit of light there was, I could see the ground was littered with flyers and papers. I picked one up and read the information about the missing girl. The year was 1991 when she went missing, and that sent a chill down my spine. I picked up more of the flyers and noticed they all centered around the same thing.

I got to my feet and tried to figure a way out, when a blood chilling laugh filled the room. Though it was all around, it sounded like it was coming from my right. I looked out the corner of my eye, and I felt my blood grow cold. Standing shadowed in the corner was the figure of something that terrified me to no end...

"What's the matter Danni? Don't wanna come play with us?" The evil voice and chuckle said, echoing in a demonic way. I wanted to say it was just my imagination, but I KNEW it was real. I felt my body start to shake uncontrollably, and I covered my ears and closed my eyes, screaming. "You're not real! You're not real!" I felt the eyes disappear, and I used every nerve I had to look up. There was nothing there, and I took the chance to run.

I ran until I found a door on the wall. I burst through it with all my strength, and saw Anneliese standing there. I screamed for her and threw my arms around her neck. "Thank God you're ok!" she exclaimed, and I could feel myself shaking. The face of the figure was still in my mind as I asked if she had seen it too.

"Yeah, I did," she replied. "All those girls," I added, thinking I knew the reason they were missing now, "We need to tell someone." We decided to tell Mr. Simpson, but he shrugged us off. Knowing there was nothing else we could do, we shrugged it off too and headed back to the dance.

Eli and Sav rushed up to us the second we were in the door, wrapping their arms around us. 'Where were you? Are you ok?" We said we were fine, but kept the storm cellar to ourselves. I looked at Sav's watch and saw it was 8:40, so I ran to the entrance, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious.

Nick and the others were waiting at the door when I got there, and I ushered them inside. We entered the gym through the back door, where Sav had put a curtain up to keep this a secret. As we were setting up, I happened to glance over Nick's shoulder, and my heart stopped. Standing over Nick, a wicked smile on it's white face, was the figure again. I backed away, convinced now that it was actually there.  
"Get away from him!" I screamed, and Nick looked up at me like I was insane. "Danni, what's your issue?" I pointed behind him, but there was nothing there now. He looked, and everyone else did too, but they saw nothing. "Get it together girl. I know you're nervous, but geez..."

I shook it off as I heard Sav announce to everyone that he had a surprise. He explained that the band was going to be playing for the rest of the night, and then he pulled the curtain down as he introduced us as the Blackmarket Brides.

The gym burst into applause as we came onto the stage Sav had set up for us. Nick began to bring us in for our first song, when I looked out into the crowd and saw that my worst fear was standing right before me: the clown from the movie IT, holding the severed, blood splattered head of my brother Corey in it's hand. It's face was covered in blood, and it licked it's lips. "He was delicious. And I'm sure Eli will be too." Then, it's blood chilling laughter filled the entirety of the gym, and I fell to my knees screaming. Everyone stopped and looked at me, and I heard footsteps come up beside me. "Danni, what's wrong?" It was Anneliese. I looked up and pointed, feeling tears streaming down my face. "There," I choked out, "can't you see it? The clown! He's got Corey!" It was a few seconds before she said, "Danni...There's nothing there."


	15. 13 Change in Life: A Murderer?

Moments later, Sav and Eli ran up to us, asking us 'where we were and if we were OK.' Before I knew it, Danni was out of sight again and it made me worry. I looked around the gym and even searched the bathroom, however, no Danni. I began to worry because of what had happen in the storm cellar. I heard Sav announcing something and my heart told me to return to the gym and I couldn't believe my eyes, Danni was on stage with her band, Blackmarket Brides.

They began to play, and the music was amazing, the best I have heard in ages. If I was a first time listener to music I would have guessed that Danni and her band were actual professionals. Throughout the song, I stared at Danni, noticing something wasn't right.

Normally, Danni was pretty laid back, however tonight she was tense. She also wasn't the shy-type so; I knew it couldn't be stage fright. All of a sudden, Danni fell to her knees, screaming for dear life. I ran up besides her yelling, "Danni, what's wrong?"

She looked up to the audience and pointed, choking the words out, "there…can't you see it? The clown! He's got Corey!"  
I looked out to where she was pointing; however there wasn't anything except students from the school. I turned back to her and said, "Danni…there's nothing there…"

Danni began gasping, and Eli kneeled down beside her.  
"Danni, calm down before we have to take you to the hospital…"  
"No! I'll be fine…but…Corey…"  
"Danni, there's no one there…" I said, holding my hand out to her, helping her off of the stage floor.

Danni looked around, everyone in the audience was staring at her, and so I grabbed the mic and tried playing it off.  
"Hey everyone, hope you are enjoying the Halloween Dance…hope this little serried id didn't scare or freak anyone out too much…"

People began to laugh it off, like it was part of the whole Halloween Dance thing, however, only Danni, her band, Sav, Eli, and I knew otherwise. Danni asks if we could come closer so she could explain. She tells us that she saw the clown from the movie IT hold her brother's head, blood dripping everywhere. Such a horrible sight, but how in the hell could the clown from the movie, IT, be here, at Degrassi. I could tell by everyone's expressions, they did not believe, her, however she was my best friend, and I did.

All of a sudden, the lights went out, and the temperature in the room felt as if it dropped 25 degrees. What in the hell was going on? The lights came back on, and I nudged Sav, trying to get his attention without being incentive to Danni's feelings; however Danni knew I was up to something.

"Lise, where are you going?" I could still hear the fear in her voice, so I tried my hardest to keep it together, afraid that Danni would see straight through my lie.  
"I need to talk to Sav about something pertaining to the dance. I'm really sorry, but I'll be back. Eli, please stay with her until I return."

I grabbed Sav by the wrist, pulling him to the hallway. I went to speak; however, the smoke from the dry-ice was too strong causing both of us to cough. I could feel myself losing the ability to breathe and began gasping for air.

I clasped my hands around my throat, feeling something tight around it, like a vice cranking tighter, choking me. Before I knew anything else, I was on the floor, lifeless, staring up at the ceiling. I forced my eyes to move from side to side, searching for Sav, however, he was nowhere in sight.

My body was paralyzed from head to toe; it was like I was a corpse living on Earth, afraid of dying and crossing over. Suddenly, for one quick second, my fingers unfolded, revealing my pale skin and nails. I had no control of my functions, as my hand came closer to my throat. My fingers gently brushed my skin, and then pierced through it. A warm and moist substance oozed down my neck, which only one thing came to mind, blood…my blood.

I finally forced my hand in front of my viewing sight and saw the reddish-black blood covering my nails. I screamed, jerking my body forward, blinking my eyes uncontrollably and breathing heavily.  
"Anneliese, what's the matter?" I heard Danni call out.  
I faced the way that her voice traveled, noticing that I was still in the room that the dance was held in. my body was shaking from fear, until Sav wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey, you're fine now. I have you." His voice was calm and protective.  
"Where am I? What happened?" I asked, baffled.  
"You are in the cafertia and you passed out before Danni could finish telling us what happened to her." He said, embracing me tighter, "you scared me half-to-death. I thought you were dying."

I stared off in space, thinking that everything that I witnessed was a dream when I passed out. But why in the hell would I dream something like that for? Moment later, I felt a cold hand against my forearm. When I glanced down, I felt my eyes widen and my blood ran cold. I let out a scream, backing up, however, Sav kind of made that impossible to do. I could hear Sav, Danni, and Eli asking me something; however my heart was pounding too heavily for me to hear them.

"How can this be?" I mumbled.  
I closed my eyes, trying to black everything out, but the tighter I closed my eyes, the more I saw _her_.  
"Make it go away?" I screamed.  
"Lise! Lise! Calm down! What is it?" Danni's voice overruled my thoughts.  
Tears rolled down my face at the sight of her.  
"I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to…" I cried.  
She smirked at me, slowly ripping the flesh off of her bones. The more she ripped, the more I freaked out.

When her left arm was completely skin-free, she gave me another devilish smirk, and placed her right hand on her left wrist, crushing the bones until she was up to her shoulder-blade. All these sounds reminded me of that horrible night. Skin ripping, bones breaking, glass shattering, fire blazing, and a pitiful cry for help.  
"Please…stop! I didn't mean to kill you…" I cried out.

I heard gasps all around me, while Sav released his embrace around me. I cracked my eyes open, seeing that she was gone and that everyone was staring at me like I was a murderer.  
"What!" Sav mumbled.  
"You killed…someone?" Eli said, finishing Sav's sentence.  
I nodded…ashamed of the crime that I had committed. I stood up, motioning Sav, Danni, and Eli to follow me outside of Degrassi. All of us sat on the sidewalk, as I tried to begin my story, however, every time I tried, the more I cried. Danni did her best to comfort me, but nothing could ever stop this pain.

I no longer could sit still and got up, stumbling to the woods. I ran as fast as I could, hearing the others chasing behind me. I knew deep down I was not ready to talk about it. I began to lose my footing and fell down the hillside, right into the little stream below. Maybe if I lied here long enough, no now would find me; and I would drown. Before I could finish my dying thoughts, someone picked me up out of the water.

To my surprise, it was Sav. After I admitting to murdering someone and he withdrew from me, I thought he would be the one to find me.  
"Please, don't force me to tell you…" I cried.  
"Hush," his voice was soft and caring, "I'm not going to make you. Tell me when you're ready. Yet it shocked me at first because the girl that I am in love with said she murdered someone, but I am here for you when you want to discuss it."  
My heart skipped a beat, "you're in love with me?"  
He nodded, leaning his head down, gently kissing my lips.  
I kissed him back, as I could actually see myself following in love with him.

We parted, as he made his way back up the slick embankment. Seconds later, Danni and Eli ran up to us asking if I was alright. We all decided that it was best to call it a night and head home. Sav took me home, but I fell asleep before we reached my neighborhood.

The next morning I woke up with a horrible headache. I was wearing a T-shirt, and really confused how I got dressed last night. I knew my father wouldn't have changed me, so does that mean that Sav did? I pulled the blankets up to my neck, panicking if he saw me naked, when all of sudden, Danni walked in with a tray of food.

"I asked your dad last night if I could stay over again…"  
I tuned her out, thankful that Sav wasn't the one that changed me.  
I sighed, grabbing a picture from my nightstand drawer.  
"Danni, I have something to tell you."  
"Yeah, what's up?" she said, placing the tray on my small table, then sat down beside me.  
I showed her the picture, revealing a man, a woman, and two young girls.  
"I know that this is you and your parents, but who is that?" she asked, pointing to the girl beside me.  
"That's my sister, Alexis."  
"I didn't know that you had a sister."  
I nodded, "Yeah…and…I killed her…"

I couldn't tell what Danni was truly feeling about what I just said. I never could read her emotions.  
"Last year, my family was so excited that I was turning sixteen. My mother made Alexis and I her pride and joys. Even though; we did see our mother that much, due to the fact that she was a nurse in the local hospital. As for my father, he was still a traveling businessman, however, he didn't travel that much. For my sixteen birthday, my parents got me a brand new Eclipse. I had my license for a couple of weeks and that's when something horrible happened."

*************************************************************************************

"Anneliese, hurry up!" Alexis yelled, "We're going to be late!"  
I ran downstairs, unlocking the doors, as both of us dove into the car.  
"Sorry Alexis. James wouldn't get off the phone."  
I saw her face drop, "you don't ever have time for me anymore."  
I hugged her, "That's not true at all. You're my little sister and I always have time for you."  
She smiled, as I backed the car out of the driveway. After getting on the main road, Alexis cranked the stereo up. I turned it back down and Alexis yelled, "Hey! Why did you do that for?"  
"Because I'm driving and I need to concentrate on the road."

Alexis crossed her arms, pouting that she couldn't get her way.  
I sighed, "Alexis, come on now. I just want to be cautious…I don't want to wreck or anything."  
"I know. So where's that birthday party at?"  
"Right up there."

She nodded happily. This would be the first 'party' that Alexis was allowed to go to. When we finally got to the driveway with balloons and other party favors everywhere, I knew we were here. I parked the car, and then Alexis and I got out. When we reached the entrance to the backyard, I was greeted by a kiss from James.

"Nice to see you two made it."  
"Yeah. So where's the birthday boy at?"  
"In the house. You and Alexis should go say hi!"  
I agreed. Alexis and I walked inside, seeing the birthday boy sitting at the counter.  
"Happy Birthday, Trevor!" Alexis and I called out.  
"OH! Thank you!" Trevor called back.

"Crap! Alexis, I'll be right back. I forgot the camera in the car." I said.  
She nodded.  
I checked both the front and back seats, however, no camera. I went to go back to the party, and that is when I remembered that I put the camera in the trunk. When I was reaching for the camera, I heard Alexis scream and I darted back inside. I saw Trevor on top of her, trying to take her clothes off. I ran up beside him, elbowing him in the side, sending him against the wall.

"You drunk bastard! Don't ever touch my sister EVER again!"  
"She wants me to do these things to her, I can tell."  
"No, she doesn't! She's not even fifteen yet." I yelled.  
"She said she was!"  
"Trevor, shut the fuck up! Her birthday is in two days, you asshole!" I turned to Alexis, "Let's go."

The whole car ride home was quiet, until I parked the car in the driveway.  
"Thanks Lise…" she whispered, and then ran into the house.  
I sighed, and went inside and then to bed.

The next morning, I searched for Alexis, to see how she truly was; however, I could not find her anywhere.  
When all of a sudden, I heard my car crank up. I ran downstairs, and saw Alexis in the driver seat. She wasn't supposed to be in the car, driving without one of our parents in the car, since she did not have her driver's permit. She backed it down the driveway, and when I ran toward her, she punched on the gas. I ran behind the car, trying my damnest to catch it, but it was no use.

When she finally slowed down at the stop sign, I dove into the car.  
"Alexis…what the hell do you think you are doing?" I yelled out of panic.  
"I just want to be like you…" came her answer.  
"Alexis, stop the car!"  
"No!"  
"Alexis, please, stop the car!"  
"No!" she then faced me, "No, no, no! I'm not! You get to drive, so, so can I!"  
I looked at the road and grabbed for the wheel from her.  
"Stop it Alexis, give me the damn wheel! A trunk is coming!"  
"No! I can handle it!" she yelled, yanking the wheel from me.

We went into the other lane, as I tried getting the steering wheel from her…but it was too late. The truck smashed into the rear-end of the car, sending us into a tailspin, which caused us to go back into the other lane and get hit by another car. However this time, the car crashed into the drive-side, sending us onto the moist embankment. During this time, I heard the sound of ripping flesh, and the breakage of bones.

The car hit a stomp, sending me through the windshield since I was not wearing a seatbelt. I tried getting up, but it was no use. My body was in extreme pain, until I started smelling smoke. I glanced up, seeing that the car was afire with Alexis trapped inside. I could hear her faintly screaming for help. I found enough strength to get up and run to Alexis. The driver door was smashed inward, and there was no other way for her to get out.

"Alexis, crawl through the windshield." I yelled.  
"I can't! Anneliese, help me. Help me please!" she cried.  
I crawled through the windshield, and saw why she couldn't move. The dash was smashed down onto her lap, causing her to be trapped inside the car.  
"Alexis, listen to me! I'm going to lift this off of you, so you can get out, OK?"  
"OK…"

I lifted the dash, while she squirmed out. When safety out of the car, I saw that she was bleeding badly from her leg. I took my shirt off, ripping it, then tying it around her leg above the wound to help stop the bleeding. The more I pulled on my shirt, the more Alexis screamed.  
"Anneliese, please stop the pain!" she cried.  
I knew deep down that if I didn't stop the bleeding soon, she would bleed to death and the reason her death would be my fault.

"Alexis, don't try moving. I'm going to go back to the car's remains and see what I can find."  
She nodded, as I hobbled to what use to be my dream car. I searched for some type of clothing to help stop Alexis from bleeding to death. However, I was wasting too much time and Alexis' life was running out.

Across the rubble, I found my dad's cell phone. I grabbed it, wiping the blood from the screen and quickly dialed the house number. It ranged multiple times before my mother answered the phone. Once I told her our location and the situation, she panicked and got off the phone. Before I could hang up, I felt my body grow weak and passed out.

I wasn't for sure when I woke up, but when I finally did, I saw my father sitting beside me. I turned my head slightly, seeing Alexis in the bed next to me. Her face was pale, with a tube coming out of her mouth.  
"Dad…" I managed to whisper, "How is Alexis?"  
"She's on life-support, three broken ribs, both legs are broken, and fractured spine. In all honesty, things don't look good. But you need to worry about yourself right now. You're far from well yourself."

Maybe it was just me, but he sounded kind of harsh. I drifted back off to sleep, but it was like I couldn't sleep. I cracked my eyes, seeing two women in white coats, rolling my sister's bed out of the room.  
"Where are you taking Alexis?" I yelled.

*************************************************************************************  
"And when I woke up, I told my father about it, but he told me that she had already died before I awaken. My mother blames me for Alexis' death and went to drinking as a coping method." I began crying. "It's my entire fault…all my fault… I'm a murderer…I killed my sister…"  
"Lise, you're not a murderer. It was an accident."  
Even though I wanted to believe that, my heart wouldn't allow me to.

Two hours later, Danni left, and the remainder of the night, I was too upset to do anything. All my life, I tried protecting my sister, but the one time she truly needed me, I failed her.

I lay on my bed, and finally drifted off to sleep. When the alarm went off, I was annoyed. School would be a pain in the ass and more drama to my life. Once I got to school, Sav greeted me, which was his way to find out how I was. I played it off as I was fine, but in reality I was not.

"Do you want to do something later? After school?" he asked, looking down.  
I placed my hand underneath his chin, lifting it so I could see his eyes, "Sure. I would love to."

After school, Sav was waiting outside my last class, with a huge grin across his face. I didn't know what to expect from him. Did Sav like me enough to ask me out? When that thought crossed my mind, my stomach filled with butterflies. I was confused about my nerves because even with James, I did not feel like this. Sav embraced me, causing me to blush, and making me realize for the first time that he smelt so good.

"So…what do you have planned?" I asked, pulling myself from him.  
"It's a surprise!" his smile stretched across his face.  
I shrugged, glad that I was able to spend some time with him. He led me out of the school, into the parking lot, to a black truck. The truck was in perfect shape, so I guessed that it was his father's. He opened the passenger door, helping me into the truck, shutting the door behind me. Before I could buckle my seatbelt, he was climbing in on the drive side.

"Sav, are you sure this is OK? I mean the last your father seemed like you was forbidden to be around non-Muslims."  
"Yes, I am. Sure. My mother knows that I care deeply about you and that I will not be forbidden to talk to you. So she talked to my father." He said, staring into my eyes.  
"Sav…that's sweet!" I said, embracing him.

Once we released, he turned the key, bringing the ignition to life, and Degrassi disappeared behind us. Sav turned on the radio, and the song _Cannibal_ was playing. I began singing it, while Sav stared at me oddly.  
"…Anneliese…please don't sing that. You remind me of Ke$ha and…"  
"And what? I love Ke$ha!" I screamed.  
"Me too, but I don't want to think of you being a cannibal-party-hard-girl…"  
"Calm down, it's just a song. Besides, there's more than partying to her songs, it's life!"

As I finished winning my case, _Firework_ by Katy Perry came on and I began singing it. Sav widen his eyes and said, "You have to sing with me!"  
"W-what?" I stammered.  
"Your voice is amazing!"  
"Thanks, but I am not a singer. I am a pianist."  
He smiled, "well, I would still love to perform with you, sometime."  
I nodded, turning back to stare out of the window.

When I am around Sav, I am so relaxed and can be myself. The truck came to a stop, while I looked around. Confusion hit me hard, since we were in the middle of nowhere.  
"Umm…Sav…" I started to ask before he stopped me.  
"Close your eyes!" his voice was cheerful.  
Since I trusted him, I closed my eyes, allowing him to lead me to where ever he was taking me. I could feel sticks and leaves on the ground, so he was leading me into the woods. Now why in the hell was he taking me in the woods for? I thought to myself. Maybe he's taking me out here to have hi way with me…No Sav is too nice to do that to anyone. But why is he taking me deeper in the woods? Maybe he needed to talk, but why in the woods? I thought. Cramps began taking over my stomach, afraid of the outcome.

In all honesty, I didn't have much experience with guys besides with James, however nothing sexual. What if he quits liking me because I don't have much experience…wait…quit thinking stuff like this.

We stopped, "OK, we're here!" I heard Sav call out.  
I opened my eyes, a smile stretching across my face. I was speechless at the sight, not sure what to say. Sav had a blanket stretched out on the ground with a picnic basket, candles, and a guitar lay on the blue-stripped blanket.  
"Sav, this is so sweet!" I could tell that I was blushing. Nobody had ever done anything like this for me before. Sav motioned for me to sit down, and pulled some sandwiches, different types of fruit, and a bottle that appeared to be full of champagne out.  
"Sav…I don't drink champagne…" I mumbled, afraid of being rude.  
"I know…" he laughed, "it's flavored water…"

I smiled at his kindness, as we ate. Afterwards, he picked up the guitar, which was the one that I bought him, when I first met him, and began to play a song that he wrote for me. The song was amazing and sweet. I thanked him as he lowered me back onto the blanket. My thoughts about the situation were unclear. Sav lay down beside me, both of us gazing up at the sunset. Could this day be anymore perfect? I thought to myself.

We lay like that for hours, gazing up at the night sky. When it was time for him to take me home, the drive was quiet, until we got back on the main road.  
"Sav…I had a sister, but she died in a horrible car accident that I caused. That's why I'm a murderer." I said, staring at my lap.  
"Anneliese, you're not a murderer. Accidents happen, so please don't blame yourself."  
I knew that he meant well, but still, my feelings are my feelings. The rest of the ride was full of silence and awkwardness. When he pulled into the driveway, he walked me up to my doorstep, embracing me tightly.  
"Thank you…" I said.  
He pulled from me, staring in my eyes, and then kneeled down onto one knee. I could feel my eyes widen, when I responded to his action.  
"Sav…are you proposing?" I asked, blushing.  
"Um…uh…um….no" he stuttered, his skin turning red.

"OK…because…" I stopped, "this is awkward…"  
He stood up, "I'm sorry…"  
"Not you…" I said, pointing up, "him…"

It was my father standing on the terrace with a water balloon in hand. Every November, my father and I always play a game called, 'water-balloon war' however, I lost track of the months and forgot that it was November. Sav backed up, staring at my father, until he release the balloon, falling straight on Sav's head. I saw my father did a yes-I-got-him hand gesture.

"I'm sorry. Please come in." I said opening the door. I handed him a towel and apologized again.  
"Nah it's OK." He said, getting down on one knee again, "I was wondering, if…"  
"If?" I asked, really confused.  
"If…you would go out with me again, and be my girlfriend?" he said, staring straight into my eyes.  
I guess he could tell that I was shocked from the red glare coming off of my face.  
"Hey, don't worry about it, if you don't." he said, getting up.  
I jumped on him, kissing his lips, "Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend!"  
He kissed me back, "great! I'll pick you up in the morning for school."  
He kissed me one more time and leave. I went upstairs and took a shower and went to bed, happy.

The next morning, Sav was at my house an hour early, so we ate breakfast together, and then he drove me to school. When we got out of his dad's truck, he took my hand and we walked into Degrassi.


	16. 14 Change in Life: It Can't Be

It was the day after the insanity of the Halloween dance, and I still couldn't believe how crazy things had gone. I was on my way home, thinking everything over again. The face of that clown, covered in blood holding my brother's head in its hand…and Anneliese. My heart ached for her, knowing that she too knew the pain of losing a sibling. It was heartbreaking, knowing that an accident could make my best friend believe she was a murderer. After all, it was just that: an accident.

I was just walking up the driveway when Grams came outside, car keys in hand. "Danni, I was just coming to get you. We have to get to your appointment," she said, motioning for me to get into the car. I'd forgotten I had an appointment for Chemo today, and with a sigh of exhaustion, I got into the passenger side as Grams drove us to the hospital, where I'd be getting my treatments.  
For hours I met with nurses and doctors, who explained that I was going to be put on Antimetabolites, which would prevent the growth of new cells and kill them. But the process was not pleasant at all, and I went home feeling worse than when I'd left. But Grams was great, and helped me get upstairs and into bed, then made me soup. I tried eating, but without much luck on keeping it down, which caused me to not get much sleep that night.

When my alarm went off the next morning, I had to fight to get myself ready, but once I had a shower and got dressed, I felt a little better. I even decided to take my guitar to school, just because playing usually made me feel better when I was down or not feeling well. So after kissing Grams goodbye, I made my way back to Degrassi, hoping that I wouldn't get much hate for what happened at the school dance.

But amazingly, it was like everyone forgot about it. As I walked through the hallways, I got many compliments on the band, even from people I hadn't seen there. But hey, a compliment was a compliment, and I would take that any day.

When I reached my locker, I was surprised to see Eli leaning against it. "Well well, don't you look perky this morning?" he asked. I must have had a huge smile on my face to give it away, so I just laughed and opened my locker. "Is it that obvious?" He replied, "Only slightly." I closed my locker door and went to reply, but Adam walked up.

"Hey Danni, great job last night!"  
It seemed like no one remembered my freak-out on stage, or that it never happened. Could it be possible that I dreamed everything up? I shook my head and chuckled to myself, deciding to bask in the glory. "Thanks Adam, I appreciate that." I strapped my guitar to my back and looped my arms between both of theirs so we could walk to class together.

The day went pretty slowly however, but was jam packed with too much for me to even get the chance to take my guitar out. I was more than thankful when lunch rolled around, because my body was starting to feel weird. The doctor's had warned me the day before that the treatments would have side effects that lasted for a while after I began them, but I wasn't prepared for anything like it. When I opened my locker, I was hit with a sudden wave of nausea and had to grab the door for support, taking deep breaths and praying that I wouldn't throw up in front of everyone.

"Danni? Hey, are you alright?" I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked over it to see Eli looking down in concern, Adam right next to him. "Should we get her to the nurse? She looks really pale." But I shook my head, forcing myself to stop feeling sick. But it really wasn't working that well, yet I pretended I was fine.

"Nope, just got a case of vertigo, I'm alright," I put on a smile as I said this, and prayed the two bought it. Where Adam looked a bit skeptical still, Eli looked as if he didn't buy it for a second. "I think you need some fresh air. Come on, we'll go to The Dot for lunch instead of eating cafeteria slop today." And without waiting for me to answer, both he and Adam grabbed my arms and pulled me out to the parking lot. "Shotgun!" Adam yelled with a laugh, and having been beaten fair and square, I too laughed and slipped into the back. "As long as there's no dead body back here, I'm fine with that." Eli just laughed and looked back at me, cranking up the car as he answered, "Nope dumped the last one in the river two days ago."

We rode into town and hit The Dot to find it mostly empty, which was a good thing since I didn't feel like being around a huge crowd at the moment. I was still feeling sort of sick, but once I ordered and received my lunch I began to feel a bit better. I ate my sandwich slowly in the hopes of keeping something down this time, and looked up at Adam as I did. "So, what are you two doing after school?"

Adam shrugged, "Probably be forced to go off with Drew somewhere. Somehow our parents seem to think we need more 'brotherly bonding time,' or something like that." I laughed a bit to myself. I had seen Drew around school, and had to admit I wasn't a fan of the stepbrother. I preferred to hang out with Adam any day. I turned my attention to Eli then. "And what about you Goldsworthy? What's on the agenda?"

Looking my way then, he smirked. "I was thinking the usual; a night of sneaking into your upstairs bedroom and finally convincing you to let me have my way with you." I smacked his arm then as Adam laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd heard in his life. "Right Eli, you and Danni! Please, she can do SO much better than you! Get that fantasy out of your head already." While I laughed at the good natured sense of Adam's joke, I caught the look in Eli's eyes as I did. It was a mixture of anger…and what appeared to be hurt. But he didn't say anything in response, and somehow the fun we were just having…seemed to disappear completely.  
After we ate and Eli paid the bill, we headed back to Degrassi, but no one said a word on the ride there. I felt like I had said something to offend Eli, and decided to ask him if I had. We parked the hearse and Adam called that he'd see us later, running for the front entrance as Eli and I slowly walked towards our own classes. I didn't know what to say at first, but I finally sighed silently to myself and looked over at him, deciding the direct approach would be better than nothing.

"Eli…did I say something to make you mad?" He looked down at me then, a sort of shocked look in his eyes for just a second. "No, why would you think that Danni?" I shrugged a bit, "You just seemed upset at The Dot when Adam and I were picking on you." He shook his head and chuckled a bit, "No, it wasn't that. I was just thinking about something is all." I had only to look at his eyes, and the sadness in them to guess who he was thinking of.

"You really miss her, don't you?" He looked down at me, and when he saw that I knew, he sighed and dropped his head slightly. "Yeah…I do." I felt for him, I really did, but I felt something else too. But I had no idea what it was I was feeling, so with a sigh I took his arm and pulled him to the side, around a corner so it was just us talking. "Eli, I know it's hard. But…sometimes it's just best to let go of things. Yeah, it hurts like hell, believe me. I may not have been in the same situation as you, but trust me when I say I know a thing or two about someone leaving and you never see them again."

For some reason, I was beginning to get angry, and my voice began to change as I continued. "Sure, you loved Clare, I know that. But get over it Goldsworthy, she's gone. She's not coming back and there's nothing you can do about it! Just deal with it and move on, and see what's right in front of you when it comes to what's important!" With that, I turned and stormed away, not caring there was still half a day left in school. I was going home, and I dared anyone in my mind to stop me.

When I got home, Grams was still at work and I had the house to myself. I ran upstairs and flopped on my bed; screaming and crying into my pillow as memories of why I had screamed at Eli came flooding back into my head. I fought my demons, battled them back into the darkest corners of my mind as I finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke later in the afternoon to the sound of the downstairs phone ringing. Grams' voice floated up to my room, and groggily I looked at the clock on my night stand. It read 8:45 pm, and I realized I'd slept for seven hours straight, but still felt exhausted. But I forced myself to get up, even though I felt completely drained of energy, knowing if I didn't I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep later on for school the next day. As I stretched, I noticed my cell on my dresser blinking a red light, signaling I had missed calls. I had silenced it for school, so picking it up I flipped it open and saw that I had 10 missed calls, all from Eli, and several voicemails. But with a sigh of disgust, I hit the 'Delete All' button to clear out the inbox and turned my phone back up just as Grams called me downstairs.

I walked down the steps and into the kitchen, and saw Grams looking a bit distressed. "What's wrong?" I asked, sitting at the kitchen table. "What's going on?" But Gram's looked more distressed than I had ever seen her, and worry overtook me like no tomorrow. "Grams, talk to me."

She laid her hand over mine then, and sighed a bit. "It's about your mother Danni…"

When the next morning rolled around, I barely noticed. I hadn't slept any more that night, and I had ignored another three calls from Eli. I couldn't talk to anyone, not now. Not after what had been said the night before, which was still slowly seeping into my mind. But still, I got up and got dressed, and walked slowly down the stairs to find Grams slipping on her shoes and getting ready to walk out the door. When she saw me, she turned and embraced me.

"I don't understand why all this is happening to you Daniella," she whispered, and the fact that she used my full name made me nearly burst into tears. "And if I could take it all away from you, I would. But I just want you to keep your head up, and trust in those you love. They'll get you through it, somehow."

With that, she kissed my forehead and took her keys off the table. "Are you sure you feel up to going to school today?" I merely nodded, and she tried to smile. "You're so strong, for being so young. I'm so proud of you." And with that, she walked out, and I took my bag from by the foot of the stairs before walking outside, making sure to lock the door before I left.

The walk to school was long, but I couldn't tell. I couldn't really think of much, other than replay the day before in my head over and over again. I was praying for a distraction at school, and as I reached the entrance, I got one. Walking hand in hand, into the doors of Degrassi, were Anneliese and Sav. So it finally happened for the two of them…at least they could be happy now. I was thankful for that much.

Sighing, I walked in after them, nudging Anneliese in the ribs gently as I walked past them. The smile on her face was all I needed to see to know this was what she wanted, and I was happy for her. But the smile I'd put on for show wasn't enough to fool her, as her face soon gave away. I just pretended to get distracted by my locker combination as I stopped off, and before she could head my way, Eli got between us. "Danni, why didn't you call me back last night? We need to talk."  
I ignored him, and in the back of my mind I knew I was being unfair, but I couldn't help it. I knew if I opened my mouth I would regret what was said, so I just slammed the locker shut and went to walk away, but he grabbed my arm. "Wait a minute! Talk to me Danni, what's going on with you?" When my eyes met his, I guessed everything showed in them, and I snatched my arm from him and ran outside. I couldn't handle this, I just couldn't…

I ran into the woods, falling to my knees and buried my face in my hands. Why was it so hard for me to deal with all this around Eli? I just didn't know anymore. And when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I nearly screamed at him to go away. But instead I heard a much softer voice. "Danni, what's going on? Are you alright?"

When I saw Anneliese kneeling down beside me, the look of concern deep in her eyes, I broke down then, and she held me as I cried. Finally, I told her everything that was going on, and she was the first person to learn of my deep dark secrets. "Lise, I'm sick…I'm sick, and Grams got a call last night…my mother's dead."


	17. 15 Change in Life: It Just Can't Be

As Sav and I walked through the double doors of Degrassi, heads turned in our direction, glancing down at our clasped hands. In all reality, it actually did bother me with everyone staring at us. Sav tighten his gripped against my hand, trying to get my attention. I looked up, staring at his blank expression.

"What's the matter Sav?" I whispered.  
"Seems like we are the main event at school today, huh?" he said, his face still remaining emotionless.  
I looked from each pair of eyes staring back at us, judging us one way or another. I let out a long sigh, ready for anything that came our way.

My reassurance was boosted when Danni came up behind me and gently nudge me in the ribs. I flashed a smile at her, being overjoyed with my new boyfriend. Danni smiled back at me, however, there was something missing in it. It didn't have the emotions like before, as if she was forcing a fake smile. I narrowed my eyes, trying to understand what was bothering her, however, before I could get to her, Eli cut me off.

Sav placed his arm onto my shoulder, whispering, "What's wrong Anneliese?"  
"I…I don't know. But there is something wrong with Danni…" I managed to say.  
I watched Eli and Danni closely, trying to understand what was going on; however, when she jerked her arm from his grasp, I knew something was seriously wrong. Besides myself, Eli was Danni's closest friend and for her to do something like that to him, something seriously must be wrong.

Danni ran out of Degrassi and that was my cue to go after her. I ran over to Eli, yelling at him.  
"What the hell did you do to her?"  
"I…I…didn't." came his response as he braced his back against the lockers.  
I realized that Eli wasn't going to tell me anything else, so I ran out of Degrassi. I looked from side-to-side, trying to find something to indicate where Danni went.

Even though she didn't leave me a trail to follow her by, my gut feeling was telling me that she ran off into the woods somewhere. I trusted my gut and ran into the woods and found Danni to her knees, crying her eyes out. I approached her softly, kneeling down beside her, speaking as gently as I could.  
"Danni, what's going on? Are you alright?"

She collapsed into me, crying harder, telling me everything that was going on.  
"Lise, I'm sick…I'm sick, and Grams got a call last night…my mother's dead."

My eyes widen from her confession. I couldn't believe that she was going through all of this and was going through it alone. I threw my arms around her, embracing her tightly.

"It's gonna be OK, Danni." I whispered, trying to be reassuring even though I had no idea if it would or not.  
I placed a firm hand onto her shoulder, "Danni, how about we skip school together today?"  
She nodded, slowly getting to her feet. There was no way in hell that she could go to school today with all this going on. We left out of the woods and I took my phone out of my pocket and called my father. The phone rang for a while before he actually answered it.  
"Hello? Aka, what's wrong?" his firm voice came through the receiver.  
"Dad is there any way you can come and pick me and Danni up from school right now?"  
"Why Aka? Is there something wrong with you or Danni?"  
"Dad, please! I can't tell you, but can you come?"  
A brief moment went by before he answered, "Sure, give me fifteen minutes."  
I hung up and then text Sav that I would be leaving school early and would talk to him later before putting the phone back into my back pocket.

**************  
Fifteen minutes later my father pulled up in his Z71, and came to a complete stop before Danni and I crawled into the backseat. The whole ride home was silent, no questions being asked by my father, neither by Danni. Once we were in sights of the drive-way, my father told us that he was returning to work and to lock the doors once we were inside the house.

After getting into the house, we both went upstairs to my bedroom, crashing onto the bed. Danni was quiet for a while before she would answer to anything.  
"Danni…you don't have to tell me anything…" I managed to say, before Danni's blood-shot eyes glanced up at me.  
"Lise…you just don't understand…they found her body…" Danni's voice was shaking.  
I scooted closer to her, pulling her against my chest, stoking her cheek. If anything, she really needed comfort and to tell someone about all of the pain that she was truly feeling.

I felt small amounts of moisture falling onto my forearm, as I took a deep breath inward, continuing to stroke her cheek. Her voice squeaked before she spoke.  
"They…they called Grams from a hospital in New York where they identified her body." Her tears falling quickly to my forearm.  
I stroked the back of her head, "D-did they say how and why she died?"  
She nodded, "y-yes… a cop was doing a drug bust…and…found her. They said that she…drug overdose."

She faced me, her eyes revealing so much pain. "Lise, I can't take this…not on top of being sick…"  
My heart-felt for her. Knowing how hard it was to battle something alone.  
"Lise, you have to promise me something…that you cannot tell anyone, including Sav and Eli!" her voice became more serious.  
I nodded, "Of course. This will stay between us. I promise."

Moments later, Danni received a phone call and it was her Grams calling to make sure that she was alright. After hearing that she was OK, Danni hung up and pardon herself. I embraced her tightly and told her that if she needed anything, to call me, no matter what time it was.

And just like that, Danni was gone. I fell backwards onto my bed, taking everything in. I let out a long sigh, wondering why all of this had to happen to her. I bit my lower lip, remembering what Danni said about being sick. What kind of sickness could she have; and was it fatal?  
My phone vibrated drawing my attention from my thoughts. I checked the front display screen, seeing that it was a text from Sav. I scanned over it quickly and realized that I forgot that today was when we decided about the Christmas Dance. Even though it was still a month away, we were supposed to talk about the decorations and theme.

I sent back my apology and told him that I had some business with Danni and I couldn't miss it. I throw my phone on my bed and walked downstairs and looked into the fridge. I sighed, noticing that there was nothing in it. I slammed the door shut and grabbed the house phone and called a pizza delivery service.  
"Um…yes, I would like to order a large cheese pizza." I placed my order, as I counted the ones out of my wallet.  
I hung up the phone after getting the total and placed the money onto the table as I waited for the delivery boy.

After fifteen minutes, the door bell rang. I walked over to it and answered the door, recounting the amount in my hands.  
"That will be $6.95 ma'am." A familiar male voice announced.  
I glanced up, dropping the change. I could feel my mouth open slightly, my eyes wide.  
I thought to myself, _how can this be…why is he here?  
_  
"That will be $6.95 ma'am."  
I picked up the change quickly, placing the correct amount into his hands as he handed over the pizza box.  
"Thank you Anneliese." His voice was calm and somewhat tender.  
"J-james…what are you doing here in Canada?"  
He gave a quick smile, brushing up against my left arm, "I live here now, that's why."  
I cocked my head to one side, exhaling slowly.

"Well, I get off in about thirty minutes; and I was wondering if it's OK if I could come back so we could talk?"  
His voice was so humble and yet, so dangerous. I nodded, "sure…I guess we do have some things to talk about…"

He turned and walked back to his car and waved as he drove off. I stood in the doorway for awhile before I truly realized what I just done.  
"How could I be such a dumbass to inviting him back here after all that he has done to me…" I mumbled underneath my breath and I walked back into the house, shutting the door. I walked over to the table, zoning out here and there. I placed the pizza box onto the table and knelt down, covering my face with my hands. In thirty minutes, I will be facing one of my fears, which was telling my first love how he destroyed me.

********  
About thirty minutes later, the door bell rang, causing my heart-rate to increase rapidly. I turned the doorknob slowly, revealing James' in the doorway. As he entered, all the familiar memories came rushing back. Like how we would go to the movies and go to the local park and play on the swings. I sighed softly, walking over to the kitchen table, sitting across from him. He placed his hands onto the table, cuffing them, his eyes staring at me. I tucked my hair behind my ear, removing my gaze from his.

"Anneliese, are you afraid of me?" his words came out so easily.  
"N-no…I'm not." I retorted back.  
In all reality I wasn't afraid of him, just really upset and hurt by him. I crossed my legs, placing my clasped hands on top of them. Why was I so tense around him? I mean, if I wanted to, I could tell him how I really felt, but on the other hand, I didn't want to.

"Look, I know that you must be upset since you did see me and Crystal together; but it's not what you think."  
"How can I believe you? You lied to me about everything!" I yelled.  
"No…you just don't listen to me! I have needs Ann and you wouldn't fulfill them like you were suppose to and Chris would." He said bluntly.  
I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, "Y-you…bastard! Get out of my house!"

He got up and walked past me, however did not leave. I could feel his breath breathing down my neck. I turned around slowly as he threw me down to the floor. I felt his hands against my stomach, inching his way underneath my shirt. Fear took over me, as I thrust my body forward, kicking as hard as I could.

"W-what the hell do you think you are doing!" I yelled, pulling my shirt tightly downward. He gave a small smile, his eyes looking me up and down. And that's when he came at me with an evil grin across his face.

I snapped, sending my right hand across his face, slapping him as hard as I could.  
"Get the hell out of my house now!" I heard a deep male's voice come up from behind me.  
I turned, seeing my father, standing behind me, with glaring eyes targeted on James.

"Didn't you hear me, boy? Get the hell out of my house, now!" my father's tone was sharp.  
James looked at me and whispered for only me to hear, "This isn't over yet…I will be back for you!"  
After James left the house, my father walked over to me, placing a firm hand against my shoulder.  
"Are you OK? Did he do anything to hurt you?"  
"N-no, I'm fine…" I lied. True enough he didn't hurt me, but he did scare the hell out of me.

My father's expression went from caring to serious and fatherly. He narrowed his eyes at me, as if he was disappointed at me.  
"How could you invite him into our house? Especially when I am gone!"  
"Dad, it's not what you think!"  
"Save it!" he said, slamming his hand down onto the table, "Don't lie to me!"  
"B-but…I'm not…"I could feel the tears streaming down my face.  
"Anneliese, do you want to be portrayed as a slut?" he was voice was harsh.

My emotions took over me, as I ran out of the door running in the only direction that I knew of, Danni's. I continued to run, as I could feel raindrops hitting my skin lightly. The more I ran, the harder the drops hit my skin. However, I didn't care. I felt as if everything was falling down on top of me. I didn't want to be portrayed as slut nor did I understand why James moved to Canada. I closed my eyes tight, losing my footing and fell down onto my knees. I stayed there for a couple of minutes telling to figure everything out; however, nothing was clear to me.

I got back up, running as fast as I could in the direction of Danni's house. However, I didn't expect to lose my footing against; however, this time a car was coming. I could hear the horn blaring, but I was unable to move. Extreme pain was shooting throughout my entire ankle and made it difficult to move. I closed my eyes, knowing that this was it, but something or someone pushed me out of the way. I looked around quickly, noticing that there was nothing around. I sighed, afraid of moving, and yet, afraid of the darkness. I closed my eyes, breathing in slowly, trying my best to calm myself.

When I finally calmed myself enough to move, I got to my feet and walked the rest of the way to Danni's house. I walked up to the door and knocked softly, hoping not to disturb her grandmother. The door opened, and Danni's soft voice came from behind the door.  
"Lise…what are you doing here…"  
"D-danni…!" I cried, falling to my knees.  
"What's wrong?" she said, kneeling down to me.  
"M-my dad thinks I'm a slut…since James…moved to Canada…" I covered my face with my hands.

Danni invited in and led me to her room, motioning me to sit on her bed. I explained to her the situation about James moving here to Canada and how my father found him in the house. Surprisingly, she understood, and embraced me tightly.

About an hour talking about my problems, I came to realize that Danni was the only person that I could truly be myself around, and I was glad that I had such a great friend.  
"Danni, can I ask you something?" I asked, pulling my knees to my chest.  
"Yeah, what is it?"  
"What kind of sickness do you have?"

When she responded to my question, I was totally surprise. 


	18. 16 Change in Life: Pain and Love

I still had my face buried in my hands when Anneliese threw her arms around me, reassuring me that everything was going to be alright. And though I wanted to believe her, I knew I couldn't, not at that moment. It was so hard to keep it together, and tears kept pouring from my eyes as I tried to get my emotions under control. Usually I could hide them, but with Anneliese, it was hard to keep things to myself. I suppose it's because we've been such good friends for so long, and because she had always been there for me. I realized in that moment just how lucky I was to have her as my best friend, next to Eli...or at least, if I could ever get over what was bothering me when he was mentioned or thought of.

I felt a firm hand on my shoulder then as Anneliese stood and looked down at me. "Danni, how about we skip school together today?" and while I knew I shouldn't leave, I also knew that I couldn't stay with my emotions going crazy like they were. I merely nodded, not able to speak just yet as I slowly got to my feet. Anneliese and I walked together out of the woods, and once we were back on school grounds she took her phone out and walked a few feet away, calling her father to pick us up. At the same moment, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out, rolling my eyes as I saw it was a text from Eli. Instead of deleting it though, I just hit ignore, figuring if I felt up to it, I'd look at it later. But as Mr. Tasker pulled up in his Z71, I put the phone back on ring and shoved it in my pocket as I crawled into the backseat with Anneliese, siging a bit to myself before thanking her father for picking us up.

I leaned back in the seat, staying silent as we drove to Anneliese's house. Once in the driveway, we slid out the truck and nodded as Mr. Tasker informed us he was going back to work and for us to lock the doors once inside. We did just that before heading upstairs to Anneliese's room and crashing on her bed. For a while we sat in silence, me trying to get myself together before speaking. Anneliese told me I didn't have to say anything, but I forced myself to look up at her with blood-shot eyes. My voice began to shake as I spoke, telling her that my mother's body had been found in New York City when the cops raided the apartment that she'd been staying in for a drug bust. She'd been the only one there however, and had overdosed on cocaine. Grams got the call from one of the larger hospitals in the city, and when she told me, it seemed as though everything stopped in life...

"Lise, I can't take this...not on top of being sick." I looked up at her then as she held me, trying to calm myself down though I knew my eyes were betraying me by showing every ounce of pain I had been trying to hide. Then fear filled my heart, and I looked up at her in seriousness. "Lise, you have to promise me something...that you cannot tell anyone, including Sav and Eli!" But when she nodded and swore to keep it to herself, I knew everything was alright. After all, she'd never made a promise she couldn't keep.

A few minutes later, my phone began to ring. I answered it only to have her tell me the school had called and she wanted to make sure I was alright. "Yeah, I'm ok. I had a breakdown...but Anneliese's father picked us up and we've been here at her house." Grams got quiet for a minute before saying, "Well, you've a good friend in Anneliese. Make sure to thank her for me, alright? But I need you to come home now, alright?" Knowing something else must be going on, I said I was on my way before hanging up the phone. I turned to Anneliese and apologized that I had to leave so suddenly, but she seemed to understand and embraced me tightly before saying that if I needed anything to give her a call, no matter the time.

I told her I would, and headed for home. It was a long walk, but it gave me time to clear my head at least. With the air being as clear and cool as it was, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly; reminding myself how very lucky I was, even though I didn't feel like it at that point. Sure, I had Leukemia, and my mother as well as my twin brother were gone forever, but I was still alive at least. I was still able to enjoy the fresh air, to see the people I loved the most, to have somewhere to live and have such a wonderful group of family and friends. That thought made things easier, at least for the moment.

Once I arrived home, Grams was waiting for me in the kitchen. She was over the stove, making chicken and broccoli, one of my favorite foods in the world, but tonight I just wasn't hungry. Grams took one look at my face and put down the spoon she was using to stir the food and walked over, pulling me into another embrace like she had this morning. "My poor girl...what can I do to make it better?" she whispered before pulling back slightly to look in my bloodshot eyes. I just shook my head. "Nothing Grams. I'm just gonna have to deal with it," I whispered, trying to smile but without much luck. With a soft sigh she kissed my forehead and tried to smile as well. "I only wish I could take all this in your place love, I really do." I shook my head. "No Grams...I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, and I especially wouldn't wish it on you. I'm gonna go lay down for a bit, ok?" She nodded and told me to call if I needed anything, and with that I walked up the stairs and went into my room, going into my closet and pulling out my old stuffed lion named Bandit, the last gift I received from both my parents before everything went to hell for our family. Sitting on the bed, I held the stuffed creature to my chest and sighed softly. It was then I felt my phone buzz, and saw it was a reminder about the text I'd received from Eli earlier that morning. Sighing, I flipped through my inbox and read what it said. It had been a reminder we had play practice that afternoon, which I'd forgotten about entirely. And against my better judgment, I texted back that I'd be at the next one tomorrow afternoon and shoved my phone onto my nightstand before flopping back on my pillows.

I didn't get to stay that way for long. Not two minutes later my phone went off again, and this time it was a call from Eli. Rolling my eyes and growling under my breath, I flipped it open. "What now Goldsworthy?" He didn't say anything for a second or two, and just as I went to hang up he began to speak. "Listen, I know you're pissed at me, though I don't know why. But I think I deserve an explanation at least. Now spill it Daniella, what's going on with you?" He used my full name, and I hated it. But in the same sense, I knew how serious he was, so I sighed and leaned back against the pillows again. "Eli, I just...there's a lot going on right now. And I just...took the stress out on you. I'm sorry, alright? No, you don't deserve it and I'm stupid for acting like that. Forgive me?" I waited for what seemed an eternity, before he finally chuckled. "Nothing to forgive. Just promise me that next time something upsets you, you'll talk to me before storming off ok?" I smiled, just a little bit, for the first time all day. "You got it. See you in the a.m.?" I got off the bed then and stretched as he replied, "Bright and early. Sleep tight Colvin."

"Goodnight Eli." I clicked the phone shut before yet another wave of nausea hit, and this time I had to run to the restroom, and barely made it in time before I vomited heavily. Grams didn't hear me though, thankfully enough, and I managed to get myself cleaned up and my teeth brushed before she called up the stairs to check on me. "I'm alright Grams. I'll take care of the kitchen tonight, you go ahead to bed." She called back goodnight, and after steadying myself I headed downstairs to get the kitchen cleaned. But before I could, I heard a soft knock at the door. I headed over and opened it, surprised to see Anneliese standing on my front porch.

"Lise, what are you doing here?" She fell to her knees then, crying heavily. I knelt down, asking what was wrong and trying not to sound panicked. ""M-my dad thinks I'm a slut…since James…moved to Canada…" She needed not say anymore, I stroked her hair to calm her down and gently shushed her. "Shh, it's ok. Come on inside, its cold out." Helping her to her feet, I got her inside and upstairs to my room; where we both sat on my bed and I laid her head on my shoulder as she told me about what had happened at her house just after I left with James and her father. And though I was angry that James had attempted to rape my best friend, I knew we both had to stay calm for her sake. So instead I just embraced her tightly, reassuring her that everything was going to be alright. And once she was calm, everything seemed a little better. I was just glad I could do the same for her as she did for me when I was distressed.

When she was calmed down, I moved back from her, holding Bandit to my chest as she pulled her knees to hers. "Danni, can I ask you something?" she questioned, looking up at me. I nodded, "Yeah, what is it Lise?" I wasn't prepared for the next question, but it came anyway. "What...what kind of sickness do you have?" I looked down to the floor, my heart pounding with the fact that I was now going to have to tell my best friend just how sick I was, and I had no idea how to prepare for her reaction…

Taking a deep breath, and realizing I was breaking my own self-made pact not to tell anyone, I looked down at my shaking hands and began to speak. "Well…I…I have Leukemia Lise," I barely managed to whisper. She didn't say anything for a minute or two, but then as I looked up at her, I saw why. She was crying once more, but silently this time. "L-leukemia? As in…as in cancer?" she choked out, and I nodded solemnly. "Yeah. This is my second battle with it," I whispered, my hands continuing to shake. "I was diagnosed with it when I was young, but they were able to treat it and just monitored me to make sure I didn't have a relapse. But then they found out Corey had it too, but by the time they caught his, it was too late for treatments to help him. And then…then when the family busted up, and I came here Grams said she was gonna make sure I did what I had to, in order to stay well. But after the fire over at Lakehurst, I got sick again. We thought it was just smoke poisoning, but…well, that's not the case sadly."

I was shaking all over now as I felt Anneliese's arms wrap around me and pull me to her. She was shaking just as badly, and we both cried then. No words were said, and there was no need for them. We just passed off our pain to one another, to try and help each other just by letting everything we'd held in out. It felt good to tell someone other than Grams…but it killed me to know I was hurting her in the process. But what could one expect but hurt when it came to finding out someone you cared about had a disease that couldn't be fought?

When we finally pulled apart, I wiped my eyes and looked up at her. "Swear that this is gonna stay between us?" She nodded and crossed her heart. "I won't tell a soul. Just promise me something?" I nodded and she laid her hand over mine, looking at me seriously. "Promise that you'll always tell me if you feel sick or if anything's wrong, ok?" I nodded, "Of course I will. I promise." We managed to smile then, and hugged once more, and though I was a bit relieved that she knew, I was still afraid…if I died, what would happen to her?

******************************************************

Anneliese stayed a little longer, then I drove her home, making sure to keep an eye out for James as I drove down the street. Anneliese had no idea, but I had a handgun in the glove box of the car, and I would surely use it on that fucker if I ever saw him again. But after making sure she got into her house safely and that she had the doors locked, I drove back home. Grams was none the wiser as I headed back inside and went to bed, passing out before my head ever hit the pillow. It killed me to have to wake up the next morning, but I got out of bed and headed to school. Eli was waiting at my locker for me, and when I saw him, I put my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Sorry again," I whispered, and he stroked my hair a couple of times before pulling away and smiling. "No worries. Come on, you've got classes to get to."

The day went by faster than I expected, and when I finally saw Anneliese later in class, I smiled at her, letting her know everything was gonna be alright. And it seemed that it was gonna be, even when I got to English class and had to rehearse my parts in front of everyone for the play. We were gonna perform the night before Christmas break, so we only had a little more than a month to get ready for it. But even though Eli and I had fought the day before, we preformed as if nothing at all had happened, and I was actually excited to get to perform with him.

After the day was done, I headed home with a smile on my face. Maybe things were gonna be alright after all…I really could only hope for that at this point. But as I turned the corner and my house came into view, I saw that not only was Grams home, but there was another vehicle in the driveway. I pulled my strap to my shoulder closer and walked up the steps, not sure what to expect or who to see waiting inside. "Grams?" I called as I walked in the door. "I'm home." "In the living room sweetie, come on in here," she called back as I tossed my bag to the side of the staircase. I tried to prepare myself for who I might see…but there was no way to prepare for what my eyes saw once I entered that room. Sitting on the couch was not only Grams, but someone I hadn't seen since I was six years old. "Hey kiddo," the aging face of the man in his late thirty's smiled at me, and he got to his feet. "My god, look at you. Pretty as a picture, and almost all grown up." I shook my head, disbelief filling every pore of my body.

"D-dad?"


	19. 17 Change in Life: Why Do I?

I continued to stare at her, my eyes widening as her words slowly slipped out of her mouth. "Well…I…I have Leukemia Lise." It took me a few moments to comprehend what she was saying. Tears began streaming down the side of my face from the reality of this hellish world. How could my best friend have such a disease? I shook my head, thinking to myself that it couldn't be true because she was someone that I held dear and close to my heart. However, she was human and unlike what I thought and truly felt, Danni did have Leukemia.

Danni glanced up at me, seeing the tears falling as I mumbled, "L-leukemia? As in…as in cancer?" She began telling me that this was her second battle with it, explaining how she was diagnosed with it at a young age, along with her brother, however, unlike Danni; her brother did not make it. She also explained that she relapsed after attending Degrassi this year. I thought to myself,how she go through so much and yet, still manages to put a smile on. I wrapped my arms around her gently, my body shaking uncontrollably from both of our stories. Deep down, I felt somewhat dead inside, knowing that my best friend had a disease that could possibly kill her and take her away from me.

When we separated, the look on her face as she spoke, told me that she was serious. "Swear that this is gonna stay between us?" I nodded, crossing my heart, "I won't tell a soul. Just promise me something?"

She looked into my eyes, as I placed my hand on top of hers, "Promise that you'll always tell me if you feel sick or if anything's wrong, OK?" When she nodded and agreed, we hugged once more and talked about other things, trying to get our minds of our own problems. Afterwards, she drove me home, however, deep down I really didn't want to return. I was afraid of facing my father and I was afraid that I would see James again. Even though, I didn't tell Danni anything, I believed that she could sense my fear.

Once I was home and inside, I went upstairs to my room and sat down onto my bed. To my surprise, my father appeared in the doorframe, he hand running across the side of the wall. He stared at me for a moment, seeing my bloodshot eyes looking back at him. Even though I was telling him the truth about James, how was I going to make him believe me?

"Anneliese, can I come in?" he voice traveled across the empty room. I nodded slowly, scooting over to make room for him. He sat down beside me, placing his firm hands onto his knees. He slightly turned his head in my direction and cleared his throat. Moments passed, and yet, silence still fills the room.

"Dad, I promise-" I began to say.  
"Anneliese, I understand that you are mad at me, but I do believe you. It just appear different in my eyes." His firm voice echoed off of the walls.  
"Dad…but…"  
"I apologize for mentioning the word slut and your name in the same sentence."  
I nodded, looking down at the floor, wondering why he trusted me so easily. When it came to him and my mother, they were really different. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, hugging him as if I was a little child. I was always close to my father, and mostly told him everything. He pulled away and ruffled my hair and said goodnight. I sighed and went into the bathroom, turning on the sink and cleansed my face. Afterwards, I decided that it would be best to head off to bed.

The next morning I was awaken by the vibrations of my cell phone. I flipped it open seeing that it was a 'good morning text' from Sav. A smile stretched across my face as I texted back, good morning. I threw my phone onto my pillow and started getting dress. Once I was finish, I headed downstairs to my normal chair at the table. My father sat across from me, coffee cup in hand, with the newspaper in the other.

I ate my piece of toast quietly, hoping not to disturb him from his reading. I caught him glimpsing over the paper and then back down.  
"So Aka, is that all you gonna eat?"  
I looked down at the half-eaten piece of toast before I responded, "Um…yes sir. Normally I do not eat bread, but today I decided I would."  
"Oh I see," he said, turning the page in the paper, "but if you continue to eat the way you do, you may end up with an eating disorder."  
I laughed from his concern, "Yes Father, some people do turn to eating disorders, but I try to eat healthy. Just my choice. But I do promise you, I will not turn to eating disorders."

And with that, my father gave me a small smile of approval. Afterwards, I ran upstairs to get my bag and my cell and headed back downstairs to my father's truck and on the way to school. Sav was waiting for me at the double doors of Degrassi. After I got out of the truck, he wrapped his firm arms around me, kissing my forehead. I flashed a smile in his direction, and we walked into the school, once again, hand and hand.

School went by quick, and later on with my class with Danni, her smile told me that she was feeling better about the situation we talked about the previous night. I was relieved that she was feeling better; however, I still was worried about her. Finally when class was over, I headed in the direction of the Student Council Room. We had a lot to cover about the upcoming dance and we only had a month to get everything done and approved.

I entered the classroom, my hands slightly in my front pocket of my jeans, and took a seat in front of the room, waiting for the rest of group to show up. Sav came in moments after I did, and sat down beside me, kissing my cheek, pulling me against his chest. I felt my face flush, but I loved being held by him. The sound of his beating heart against my ear sent chills down my spine. I looked up at him, staring into his eyes, giving him a smile as he pressed his lips against mine. My heart began to race, my entire body warm from his slightest touch. When he pulled away, I had a smile on my face. I was really happy that he was in my life, and thankful to have him as my boyfriend.

I heard a voice come from behind me, and it didn't sound like it was too happy, "Please, can't you two do that somewhere else?"  
I turned around seeing Holly J. staring back at me with an annoyed look upon her face.  
Sav laughed, pulling me closer to him, "Aw, just H.J.?"  
From her expression, I could tell that she was, but why? I mean she was pretty and she was really smart. The only thing that kinda lacked on her was her attitude, but I was guaranteed that she was only like this at school.

"Hey Holly J., I know that this isn't any of my business, but do you like someone?" I asked, ready for anything she threw my way.  
She sighed, "You are right, it's not your business, but, yes I do."  
"Oh really? Then why don't you try to hook up with him?" can my next question.  
She shrugged her shoulders, "just haven't…"

I could tell that there was something she wasn't telling me, but I wasn't going to make her tell me. I turned around and asked Sav if he minded to get me a bottle of water and after he was gone, gave her the perfect time to tell me.

"You don't give up easily, do you Tasker?" she laughed, sitting down beside me.  
"No, sure don't!"  
"Well, I have dated him before, but since we live in two different areas, we thought it was best to spilt up."  
I nodded, "I see, but there's gotta be more to it than just that."  
"Yes it is, but I rather not say," she sighed, rubbing her forehead, "Either way, it doesn't matter, and I will not see Declan again."  
My eyes widen from the name of the guy, "D-Declan? Um…does he have blondish hair and blue eyes?"  
She nodded, "Yes, why do you ask?"  
"I think I know him. He helped me out before and drove me to my old school."  
Holly J. stood up quickly, "What the hell? You mean you are with Sav and you are trying to get with my Declan too?"  
I threw my hands up, "No, no, no! You have it all wrong! Besides, I don't want to be with Declan. I like being with Sav. Trust me H.J. I wouldn't try to take Declan from you."

She calmed back down and turned her body away from me. I sighed, while Sav returned with my water. I opened it, taking a slip out of it, and went up to the board. I wrote some notes on it and turned to face them.  
"How about we began with all the details tomorrow?"  
Both Holly J. and Sav nodded to my proposal. Sav and I clasped hands and exited the school. Sav drove me home and walked me up to the door and kissed my lips softly. He waited for me to open the door; however, he decided to not come in. After he left, I went upstairs and did my homework quickly and shoved my books to the side and fell asleep within moments.

*****************

The next morning I woke up at 6:30 in the morning and decided to get a shower before I was late for school. I ran out the door, forgetting to get something for breakfast and jumped into my father's truck for school. Even though I would be there early, I still wanted to make sure that got my Student Council duties done.

About an hour later, right before school started, Holly J. approached me with some odd questions. She wanted to know how I really knew Declan and why would he help someone like me. I was honest and told her that he helped me when I went to see James, but we were nothing more than friends.

The rest of the day went by fast and to my surprise everyone attended Student Council. I explained my ideas about how we should have mistletoe and a picture shoot to charge for money and how we needed cookies and other bakery goods. I also announced about having Danni and her band performs again, but people were hesitant because they didn't know if they would play Christmas songs or not. When I reassured them that she and the others probably would, they then agreed. After the meeting I headed home for the day and text Danni the good news about playing at the Christmas dance.

Once I was home, I called Sav and made plans with him for Saturday since the last time I cancelled on him. I got off of the phone with Sav and finished my homework when my father entered my room.

"Aka, I need you to visit your mother tomorrow."  
His words threw me for a loop and I felt myself lose it, "why Dad! I mean look at what she has done to me!"  
"Yes true, but she is still your mother. It has been a while since you last saw her, and I think it would do you and her some good."

I sighed and nodded. He left my room, leaving me in disgrace. Why did I have to spend my Friday afternoon at a jail house with my mother? I turned my light off and went to sleep.

The next day went by fast that is up to my visit with my mother. Seeing her was odd and kinda weird. She sat on the other side of a wall and the only way she could see me was through a small piece of glass. Her appearance wasn't much different, just a bit more ragged.

"Anneliese, how have you been?" her voice was soft.  
"Fine, and you Mother?"  
"OK…I just want to say, I am sorry."  
I didn't answer her since I didn't believe that she was truly sorry.

We talked for a little bit more until she said something that was really strange and scary to me.  
"Well my daughter, don't worry, when I get out of here, you will get what you deserve. And by that I mean…" she stopped and laughed as she ran her closed fist across her neck as if she meant she would cut my throat.

I got up and the jailhouse, her actions repeating in my memory over and over again. Once I got home, my father asked how she was, and I shrugged and went to my room for the rest of the night.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt as if nothing ever happened at the jail. I got a shower and got dress before Sav came to pick me up. When he did arrive, I jumped into his truck and crawled into the middle seat as we drove to the movie theater. He went to the ticket counter and got our ticket and we walked to theater 5 and took our seats. During the whole movie, we kissed and cuddled, our relationships growing closer. After the movie, he took me out to dinner at the Olive Garden and he ordered for both of us. Though I wasn't a fan of pasta, I did have to admit that it was really good.

When he was taking me home, I laid my head against his shoulder, loving every moment with him. Moments later, he pulled up in my yard and cut the truck off, holding me in his arms. His eyes met mine and pressed his lips against my own. The passion this time was too overwhelming and I could feel myself going. I pressed my body against his, kissing him more lovingly. He pulled away, whispering, "Anneliese, we can't do this…"  
My expression drop, "You're right…I'm sorry…"

I was disappointed but I agreed with his decision. He walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight. I went upstairs and fell onto my bed. I sighed, a huge smile across my face. I fell asleep and had wonderful dreams.

Sunday is supposed to be the best day for resting however for me, not a chance. When I woke up, I went downstairs and decided to clean up for most of the day. I noticed that my father was out, so that meant that I had the entire house to myself. Surprisingly everything was great, until…

…the doorbell rang. 


	20. 17 Change in Life: Saving

I could hardly believe my eyes. After all these years of silence, no contact or visits, there was my father standing in the middle of my living room. From the look on his face, it seemed as though he hadn't thought about how I'd act if I saw him again...like he believed that one visit would make everything ok again. But he was wrong, and he was about to find out just that.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, my eyes narrowed. I wasn't about to deal with this, whatever it was. But he didn't seem deterred, in fact he seemed as cool and collected as when I first walked in. "Well honey I...I came to visit you." He walked closer but I backed away. "Don't touch me. Don't come anywhere near me." I wasn't about to let him hug me, not after all these years. "I don't know what possessed you to suddenly pop up out of the blue like this, but don't you think for a second that after eleven years of silence you can just come in here and act like nothing ever happened."

I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything else, and began to taste blood as he spoke again. "Danni, I know what you're feeling and what you think of me. But there's a lot that you don't-" I cut him off, I couldn't take anymore. "Save it for someone who cares." I walked out of the room as he called out "Don't walk away from me Daniella!"

"You taught me how," I growled back at him as I grabbed up my bag from the staircase and ran out of the house, slamming the door as hard as I could behind me. Where was I going? I had no idea. This wasn't Anneliese's problem, or anyone else's for that matter. There was only one place I could think to go, and that was to the park about three miles from my house. I slammed my headphones from my pocketed iPod into my ear, turned the volume up and put it on shuffle mode. The words didn't register as I walked; my mind was too messed up to really care anyway. All that mattered to me was getting away from the house, and escaping the memories.

'How could he think just one visit could change everything?' I asked myself as I entered the iron gates of the park after a 45 minute walk. It was getting dark now, and cold too. I pulled the GIR hoodie that Anneliese had given me closer to try and block out the wind. It would begin to snow any day now, but I'd freeze before I stayed in that house with my father. Maybe I was just that coldhearted, but after seeing how far my mom fell from grace after he left her I couldn't bring myself to even look at him. Was it wrong? Maybe. But I didn't care, and probably never would.

Thinking of my mom again only brought fresh tears to my eyes. Ever since I'd found out she'd passed away, I cried at least once a day. Sometimes in the bathroom at Degrassi, sometimes at night before I went to sleep. I hated that I couldn't be there for the funeral, to truly get to say goodbye to her. Even though I knew she'd become a druggie and dumped me off with Grams for her own selfish needs, I held no resentment towards her. It hurt like hell, and I missed her, but who could blame her? Leaving me with my grandmother was probably the most generous gift she could have given me in her state of mind anyway, so I supposed in my own way I was grateful to her.

I wiped my eyes and let out a suppressed sigh. I couldn't keep letting these things bring me down, I reminded myself. What good would it do if I did? I stood then, turning off the iPod to preserve what little bit of power was left in it and tried to decide what I was going to do. I couldn't go back home, and I didn't want to bother Anneliese this late. I knew if I needed her she would be there, but even best friends need their alone time now and then. So I walked towards the playground part of the park, and prayed the old crawling tunnel was still there. I hadn't really been to that part of the park since I was a kid, so there was no telling if it was even still there now. But as I walked towards the small playground, I smiled to see the familiar sight of it. Throwing my bag into the tunnel, I crawled in and curled up in a ball. It was better to sleep here than out on a bench. It's not like anyone would think to look for me here anyway.

The sound of banging jostled me awake. My eyes snapped open, and I began to question where I was. I didn't exactly remember why I was so cramped up at first, but as I became more conscious, memories from the previous evening came back in my mind. And as I stretched a bit, I realized how cold it was and began to shiver heavily. What had woken me up exactly? I asked myself, and peaked out of the tunnel. It was a group of kids my age setting off firecrackers in a can about 300 yards away. I rolled my eyes and figured it was time to go somewhere else. I reached into my bag for my phone and saw the time glow 2:15 a.m. Where could I go this late at night? There was only one person I could really think to call.

I hit speed-dial and waited for an answer. Not four seconds after the call began; I got a bit of a groggy answer from the other line. "Danni? What's going on?" Relief filled me as I heard his voice and began to speak. "Eli, I...can you come get me?" I was shaking more now as the first flakes of snow began to fall from the sky. "I know it's late but-" He cut me off. "What's the matter? Are you ok?"

"I'm..." I really didn't know what to tell him. "I'll explain everything later, but right now-" There was a sound behind me and I looked over my shoulder. "Hey honey, what're you doing all alone over there?" It was one of the boys shooting off firecrackers. Apparently I had caught his attention and I began to get a feeling of dread over me. "I'm at Westminster Park," was all I could get out before the boy and his friends advanced on me. "Where'd you come from?" He grinned at me, and grabbed my wrist. The phone fell to the ground and my entire arm instantly began to throb. "Let go of me!" I demanded.

But the boy just laughed at me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and he pulled me closer to him. "Don't look so scared sweetie. Not like I'm gonna hurt you or anything." He grinned...but it was a look of malevolence. I was terrified now, and had no way to defend myself. "Come on Charlie, leave her alone. She's probably one of those homeless crazy chicks," his two friends laughed and they both turned away. "But if you're gonna mess her up anyway, just make it quick. The snow's already freezing our balls off."

Now I was by myself with this guy, and he wasn't about to let me go. I wasn't strong enough to pull away, and the idea that I was homeless only seemed to drive him on. "Ya' know, that just makes this all the better. No one here to interrupt us this way." He threw me to the ground then and covered my mouth as I tried to scream for help. But there was no one, I knew that. And even though I was struggling, he just laughed at me. I knew there wasn't anything I could do about this, and I just let the tears fall as he reached hungrily for me.

"Danni!" I heard my name and tired to look up, and immediately felt the pressure of the guy be lifted off me. "Get away from her!" my eyes focused on a smaller figure who punched the guy in the face hard enough to knock him to the ground, and as he tried to get up again, a gun was in his face. "If you don't want to be a smear of scum in the grass, I suggest you take off." It was all he needed to hear apparently, even in his drunken state. He took off, and as I tried to sit up Eli ran towards me. "Are you alright?" he demanded, looking me in the eyes. Fear reflected just like what I felt in his own, and as he noted my appearance he took off his jacket and wrapped it around my body. "Let's get the hell out of here," he whispered, helping me to my feet and walking with me towards his car. The hearse was a welcome sight like never before, and as I was helped into the passenger's seat I began to shake uncontrollably.

Once in the driver's seat, Eli didn't say a word. Instead, he just drove in silence. We passed my house; he didn't even bother to stop there. Instead he continued on until we stopped in front of one I'd never been to. He killed the engine and didn't say anything for what seemed hours. "Did he hurt you?" Eli asked, and I didn't know what to say to that. "Just my wrist, I think," I whispered. He was quiet again, but finally asked the critical question. "Do you want me to take you back home?" I shook my head. "I can't go back there. Not tonight."

He said nothing else, but got out of the car and walked to the other side, helping me out and taking me into what I assumed was his own house. When we got to the stairs, he picked me up and carried me, and I didn't struggle. I was too shaken up to do anything but allow him to carry me into his room and place me on the bed. "Danni, what were you doing out there?" he asked me, and I could see his hands shaking. "I...I couldn't stay at home. My-my dad's there." I couldn't say anything more than that. I tried, but I couldn't force the words out of my mouth.

"I'm not gonna push you to tell me what's wrong," he whispered, kneeling down and putting his hands over mine. "But before you go sleeping out in the park, in the snow where creeps like that tend to lurk, how about just ask someone else if you can stay with them?" I didn't answer him. My mind kept flashing back to the scene over and over again, and I finally had to break my hands from his and cover my eyes to keep from crying.

I felt powerful arms wrap themselves around my shoulder, and I was amazed I didn't instinctively pull away. "I didn't mean it like that," he whispered gently. "But I never want to have to see you that way again. I had to restrain myself from killing that guy, you know." He then took the small hand gun from his pocket and put it in the dresser of his nightstand before returning to my side. "I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't gotten there when I did, if I'd have found you worse off."

I didn't want to have to think about that...just the thought made me begin to shake more and more. "Come on; let's get you into warmer clothes." He got up and handed me a shirt from his closet and a pair of boxers. "You can sleep in these, and take my room for the night. I'll sleep on the couch." He went to walk away, but I grabbed his wrist gently. "Eli, wait." He looked back at me. "Would you stay in here, with me? I just...I can't be alone right now." I was terrified; what if that guy had followed us back to Eli's house, and was just waiting for the right moment to come through the window or the downstairs door and finish what he started?

"Danni, I promise I won't let anything happen to you. Just trust me." He stroked my hair gently and I instinctively pressed my forehead to his. What was it about him that made me feel so safe? Right in that moment I forgot everything that happened that day, and I looked into his eyes. "I trust you...more than you know." For a second, I lost all thought of anything and it appeared he did too as his beautiful eyes trailed my face down to my lips. He leaned closer to them, and for a second they nearly brushed but he pulled away from me. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and backed away. "I'll let you change." And he stepped out the room and I was alone. My heart was racing faster than I was used to, and it took a second to calm down. But once my head was cleared, I had to ask myself something; did Eli really almost kiss me?

I tried to shrug it off, convinced I was just tired and trying to block out the scene from the park. It almost came back again, but I refused to let it as I took off Eli's jacket and got a good look at myself for the first time. My shirt was ripped, my hoodie gone. Probably tossed aside at the park with my school bag and cell phone. But looking in the mirror at the far end of the room, I saw the extent of the damage done. My bra was exposed and my shoulder was scratched up, my jeans were missing the button and the zipper was tugged down a bit. My wrist was harboring a nasty bruise in the shape of a hand, and that was really the worst of it. No wonder Eli threw his jacket over me...who would want to see their friend in this state?

I tossed off my shirt and jeans, changing into the nightclothes that Eli provided for me and decided to throw the other objects of clothing into the trash. I grabbed them off the floor and walked out of the room, where Eli was leaning against the wall. "You know, under different circumstances I'd say you look pretty hot in my clothes," he chuckled quietly. I had to laugh. Even under the worst of conditions, he somehow always had a way of making me feel better. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where I threw my clothes into the garbage before going back up again. "Where's the bathroom?" I asked him, and he pointed to the door across the hall from his own. I walked in and prayed they had a first aid kit. Though I hated to be nosey, I looked under the sink and to my relief, saw one in the very back. I tugged it out and used the bandages to hide the bruise on my wrist and scratches on my chest. Then I washed my face, trying to get the scum and smell of booze off my skin. I knew I would always be scarred emotionally from the near-rape, but I had to try and not let it rule my life. But I knew that I would never again go out in the park alone like that. And if I ever saw that guy again...I didn't know what I would do.

Once done in the bathroom I walked back into Eli's bedroom, where he had an air mattress and blanket on the floor beside the bed. "I'll be right here, if you need me," he said with a small smile as I got into his bed. "Thank you...for everything," I whispered to him as I lay my head on his pillow and looked down. "You really are my hero. Without you I don't know what would have happened." He shook his head. "Don't think about it anymore Danni. I told you, I'm always here for you, no matter what." And it was with those words I was finally able to relax, and sink back under the blankets enough to allow myself to close my eyes.

I slept peacefully enough for most of the night. A couple of times I woke up in a sweat, but somehow I was always comforted back to sleep. When morning finally came, I woke confused. I had no idea where I was, whose bed I was sleeping in, or whose clothes I was wearing. Bits and pieces came back slowly, and when I remembered everything I had to stop myself from throwing up. Taking slow, deep breaths, I finally calmed myself down. It was over...I had nothing to worry about now. As I lay in Eli's bed, I inhaled deeply. It smelled like him, and the scent calmed me down. How I managed to have someone like him in my life, I'll never understand. But I knew that I was going to be ok. Something about him just made me believe it with everything I had. And as I sat up finally, I saw my bag, hoodie, and cell phone on the air mattress. "How did-?"

The door opened and Eli walked in, dressed in his Three Days Grace t-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. "Good morning sunshine. Loving the bed-head," he smirked. "Ha ha, you're so funny," I said sarcastically as I stretched. "Thanks for going to get my stuff. Too bad I didn't think to grab an extra pair of clothes before taking off last night." I crossed my arms, trying not to think about home right then. I wasn't going back there until my dad took off again, which probably would be in a couple of days. Until then I'd find somewhere else to crash, seeing as I was sure Eli's parents probably wouldn't be too thrilled with him having a girl in his bed.

"Don't worry, I've got that taken care of," he told me, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You can borrow some of my mom's old clothes. You guys are really about the same size, though you might be just a bit smaller than her." I crossed my arms and raised a brow, "Are you sure your mom's going to approve of you loaning your clothes to some girl she doesn't know?"

"Oh trust me, she won't care. Here," he tossed me a pair of faded jeans and a Nirvana t-shirt. "Besides, you wouldn't be the first girl I've had to get some clothes for." I smirked, though inside this thought bothered me. "What, did you rip Clare's clothes or something after a fun night at Hotel Eli?" His eyes burned for a second, but the look was gone as soon as it had come. "Let's just say I had to help an old girlfriend on more than one occasion."

I asked no more questions after that merely took the clothes and stepped towards the bathroom. "Be out in fifteen," I called out before locking the door behind me. As I ran the water and stepped into the tub, questions filled my mind. Who was this old girlfriend of Eli's? He'd never mentioned anyone other than Clare. Then again, he was a very private person. I never thought to ask him about what his life was like before I met him. But I wasn't the kind of girl to go snooping through someone's past. It just wasn't in my blood.

Once finished in the shower, I dried my hair as best I could without a blow dryer and slipped on Eli's mom's clothes. They actually fit nicely, other than the jeans being a bit big in the waist. I left the bathroom and walked across the hall to Eli's room, only to find him taking his shirt off. I didn't mean to stare, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't exactly the kind of person to watch someone undress and he could tell. Smirking at me as he pulled another shirt from his closet, he made yet another smart remark. "Need a napkin Colvin? You're drooling." My face turned bright red and I snapped out of my awkward trance, grabbing up a belt from the floor of his room and looping it around my waist. "Very funny Elijah."

I didn't want to admit it, but seeing him shirtless was actually a bit attractive. Ok, a lot attractive, but why was I thinking these things anyway? Eli was just my friend, and besides that, he was still trying to get over Clare...wasn't he? And even if I did, sort of, possibly have a bit of a crush on him, it wasn't like it would work out anyway. I was just some helpless girl with a crappy past and a sickness that I was fighting in secret. There was no way he'd ever have interest in someone like me.

"Yoo-hoo, earth to Danni. Come in please." There was the sound of finger's snapping and my focus returned to the room. "Sorry, spaced out," I replied quickly, my face I was sure was as red as my hair. "Come on, the parentals have breakfast ready." He walked past me and looked over his shoulder. "And to answer your question, yes." I blinked, "What question?" A grin and a wink were tossed my way. "One day you might just get to see me naked in that bed." My face flushed twice as red and I pretended to gag. "Like I'd want to see you naked ANYWHERE."

He just laughed and I followed him downstairs, preparing myself for what his parents would probably say to us, and I finally came up with a good excuse as to why I was there so early. But as we rounded the corner of the living room and entered the kitchen, Eli didn't seem nervous at all. I took in the look of the man and woman in the room; Eli's father was a fairly good looking man, tall with a unique smile that matched his son's, and his mother was a blonde woman with the same eyes as Eli.

"Morning mom, Bullfrog," Eli greeted his parents, who looked from him to me. "I had no idea you had late night company Eli," His mother said, and I immediately began to apologize. "Mrs. Goldsworthy, I'm sorry. It was entirely my fault-" His father began to chuckle. "Calm down sweetheart, no need to explain yourself to us. Who Eli has over and why is completely his business. Besides, any friend of his is a friend of ours." He extended his hand with a grin. "Bullfrog Goldsworthy, and that's my wife CeCe." I shook his hand with my good one, keeping the newly bandaged one lowered. "Danni Colvin sir. Nice to meet you."

"So you're the famous Danni? Well love, it's about time we get to meet you!" CeCe spoke up with a grin. "Eli talks about you all the time," she continued, putting a hand on her son's shoulder. "And you're much prettier in person. The way Eli talks about you-" But Eli cut his parent's off. "O-k, that's enough overwhelming her. Let's just eat breakfast, alright?" Bullfrog and CeCe laughed in amusement at their son's reaction, and I laughed softly. They seemed awesome, the kind of parents each kid would want for their own. As we sat to eat, I got to know the Goldsworthy family a little better. The parents were eccentric, but in the best possible way. They made me feel right at home, and as we finished a great meal CeCe squeezed my shoulder. "We've gotta take off and run some errands, but if you're gone before we get back, know you're welcome here anytime Danni." Bullfrog agreed with his wife, and I thanked the two of them. It was nice to know I was welcome somewhere, by an entire family.

After the two of them left, I turned to Eli. "Looks like I better call Grams. I don't want her to worry." Eli shook his head. "Already taken care of. I told her we had play practice and that you stayed the night with Anneliese, and this morning you and I were spending time together." He smiled and pulled his play script from his back pocket. "And now's the time to rehearse. Don't wanna make a liar out of me, do you?" With a grin I nodded, and the two of us headed into his room to practice.

We ran though all of our scenes together, up until we reached the part where Jamie and Landon had to kiss for the first time. It felt so awkward reading it off the paper, and I sighed in frustration after about the 15th run through of the scene. "This part is so-" I flopped on his bed mid-sentence. "I don't know, clichéd. Like, it's expected you know? I wish we could just improve this part, go with the mood of it." Eli sat next to me and placed his script aside, looking over at me. "Who says we can't? I mean, you make a point. It's too expected. Besides, Mrs. Dawes is all about creativity and the freedom to express it. Here, let's try it again."

Grabbing my hand, he pulled me gently up and led me to the middle of his room. "Picture the scene in your head. Jamie and Landon have only been friends for a short time, and now they're both falling for each other. But they're both scared to admit it. Landon doesn't want to screw up this relationship, if it advances like he wants, and Jamie's scared of getting hurt and her secret getting exposed. But they get lost in this one moment and for that single second..." he placed his hand gently to the side of my face, caressing it, looking into my eyes again before continuing on. "The world stops for them. They can let go, forget fear, forget the thought of screwing up...and just be together. If we focus on that, catch that moment in a bottle...we can do anything." I felt the inspiration then, and he began to speak the lines from the play.

"How can you be so sure of your faith?" I blinked, looking in his eyes. "It's like the wind...I can't see it, but I feel it." He walked behind me, putting an arm around my shoulder. "What do you feel?" I closed my eyes, letting out a light sigh. "I feel wonder, and beauty. It's...the center of everything." I turned to him then, and we were as close as we'd ever been. "I wish I could see the world the way you do, just for a second." He tipped my chin up, and I was lost. But just before our lips touched, the sound of a phone going off broke the gaze, and he sighed heavily. "One second," he said, walking out of the room.

I walked back over to his bed and shook my head. For an amateur actor, Eli was pretty amazing. He felt things so deeply; he could make the words come to life. And bring out the best in me. I flopped back, starring at the ceiling. By now, I couldn't wait for the next month to get here.

Eli came back into the room then, leaning in the doorframe. "You look spent now. Ready to go out and do something fun?" I wanted to say yes, but then I remembered it was Saturday. Time for another one of my appointments at the hospital. "Rain-check it. I have to head into town." I got up, picking up my bag and hoodie from the floor and gave him one more smile. "Thank you again for everything." He walked over to me and brushed the hair back from my face. "I'm always here for you Danni. Never forget that. Come on, I'll give you a ride to where you need to be." I didn't want him to know I was going to the hospital, but I knew he'd insist on giving me a ride no matter what I told him. So I got into the hearse without arguing, and told him to drop me off at the post office about a half block away from the hospital. "I'll call you if I need anything."

He asked if anyone was meeting me, and I nodded. "Grams can come get me, don't worry. If she flakes out, I'll call you." He looked at me though the rolled down window. "If your dad gives you any issues, come back to my house. No staying in the park, got it?" I held up two raised fingers in a peace sign. "Scouts honor, I swear." He seemed satisfied enough with the answer provided, and took off. When he was completely out of sight, I began my trek to the hospital. I met with my doctor for my weekly treatments, and about halfway though, Grams walked through the door. "Oh thank god you're here. I was so afraid you'd skip your treatment!"

"I wouldn't do that Grams, you know I wouldn't." But she looked skeptical, and I raised a brow. "Would you give me the benefit of the doubt this time?" She gave me a look I couldn't read this time. "After what you pulled yesterday?" I didn't want to argue with her, so I just looked down. "You know I can't stay in the same house as him Grams. Not after everything he's put us through."

She laid her hand on top of mine and nodded. "I know Danni. I just...wanted you two to be able to talk. After all, you're almost eighteen. It's a prime time to get back in touch with him." I felt my stomach churn, and it wasn't from the drugs making me sick either. "I can't...please just respect that," I whispered. "I do sweetie. I sent him to a hotel. Just come back home tonight, please." I nodded in agreement, and after my treatment was over I got into Grams' car, a bag in my lap to deal with the sickness. I was being given medicine to take twice a day now at home when I wasn't getting treated at the hospital, and the doctor's were supposed to run tests the next weekend to check on my progress.

I spent the rest of the day in bed, weak and sick to my stomach from the medicine. When Eli called me that night to check on things, I told him I was fine and that I'd see him in school on Monday. After that I passed out, but was plagued with nightmares worse than the night before. These were a combination of the near rape and flashes of my childhood, where my brother died and my mom began to use drugs for the first time. Worst of all was the repeat of the moment when my father called me a mistake, and said all I would be good for when I grew up was being the whore of some deadbeat. This caused me to wake up, silent tears sliding down my face. I didn't sleep again that night.

When Sunday morning finally arrived, I had most of my strength back. I even managed to eat before deciding to go see Anneliese. I took the car, not feeling safe enough to walk just yet. When I got to her house, I rang the doorbell and waited a few minutes before she answered. "What's going on babe?" she asked as she let me in. "Figured I'd pay my bestie a visit before school tomorrow." We headed up to her room as usual, and she immediately pulled out some plans for the Christmas dance at school the day before the play. "We want your band to play again, but everyone's concerned you guys won't play Christmas music."

"Sure we will. We can do a mix, romantic and Christmas. After all, it's a dance, people wanna have both." She smiled, seeming satisfied with the idea. "Awesome. I'll make sure to let Sav and the other's know you guys are on." I tried to smile, to seem enthusiastic, but she could tell something was bothering me. "Danni, what's wrong?"

I avoided her eyes. "I'm fine Lise. Trust me; you don't wanna hear all my problems all the time." But she was insistent, as I was with her when I knew something big was happening. "Come on; don't make me force it out of you. Either spill or I give you truth pills." I had to laugh a bit. She was a goof that was for sure. "My dad's back in town. My grandma wants us to try and bond, but I don't want anything to do with him. But it's fine, he'll be out of here soon enough." I crossed my arms then, and she caught sight of my bandaged hand. "What happened to you?" I could have said it was just something from the treatment, an I.V. gone wrong...but I couldn't lie to her. Without even meaning to, I told her the story; sleeping in the park, the guy nearly raping me, and about Eli saving me. I even told her about him taking me to his house, and staying overnight. She hugged me tightly, not saying anything for a moment. When she got quiet like that, I knew she was fighting off an urge to go on a manhunt. But when she pulled away from me, she spoke up. "Next time, call me when you have family problems. You're always welcome here, you know."

"I just didn't want to bother anyone, that's all. My problems shouldn't be for other people to deal with." I pulled my knees to my chest and sighed. "Well, as sick as this sounds, at least something good came out of it." I looked over at her in confusion. "What do you mean?" She smiled a bit. "Danni, isn't it obvious by now? You and Eli have some major chemistry." I just laughed. "Anneliese, you're crazy you know that? There's nothing between us. I mean, look at me. Why on earth would Eli Goldsworthy have a thing for me?" She smirked, and I gently smacked her with the pillow. "What's that look for?"

"Well, you said Eli didn't have a thing for you, but you didn't deny that you had a thing for him. Admit it Danni, you're starting to fall for him and you know it!" But I kept denying it, and finally the matter was dropped. We talked a little more, and I found out that Anneliese went and saw her mother in jail the Friday before. "How did that go?" She looked like that was the last thing she wanted to talk about. "Awkward, to say the least. Believe me when I say I'm more than happy she's still behind bars." I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and nodded. "I know what you mean. Looks like we both have parental issues." The subject ended up changing itself to Anneliese and Sav's relationship, and I was glad to hear things were going well for them. "I'm happy for you guys. I really am." She smiled and hugged me, and after a bit more time together, I headed for home.

The next day came quickly, and I met Adam on the way into school. He was walking with a guy just a bit taller than him with black hair and tan skin. I recognized him from the basketball team as Drew Torres, Adam's brother. "Hey Adam, hey Drew," I passed the two of them a smile as we walked through the halls. "How's it going Colvin?" Drew asked, and Adam smiled at me. "As good as it gets. You guys ready for the Christmas dance?" I asked, and Drew smiled. "I am. But my brother here still needs to find himself a date." With that he nudged Adam closer to me and walked along, meeting up with his girlfriend Bianca. She seemed alright, from the little bit of time I knew her and from our shared science class. "What was that about?" I asked Adam, who shrugged. "Drew has this weird idea that I should ask you to the dance. Not that I wouldn't, but I'm already assuming that you and Eli are going together."

"Well-" I went to reply, but felt someone bump into me from behind. I turned around just as someone began to speak. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention, my fault." It was a guy just a bit taller than me, with shaggy brown hair and green eyes to match. He seemed nervous as a freshman on their first day of high school, and I thought it was a little cute. "No harm, no foul. But we should still exchange insurance information, just in case," I joked, and he laughed a bit. "I thought that only worked with automobile accidents." I noticed his British accent for the first time then, and deducted he must be a new student. "Well, you never know where it might come in handy. I'm Danni Colvin, and this is Adam Torres." He smiled at me then gave one to Adam as well. "Connor Phelps. I just transferred from London. You wouldn't happen to know where room 715 is, would you?" I nodded. "That's the Science room. I'm heading that way now, it's my first class." He looked relieved, and I was glad I could help. Giving Adam a wave, I began to walk with Connor, unaware that Eli had just walked up to my locker and was watching us walk away. If I'd have been able to see the look on his face, or hear the words he told Anneliese and Adam once she joined them, I probably wouldn't have been so quick to walk away. Too bad I had no idea just what my heart was in store for...


	21. 18 Change in Life: The Funeral

"I'm coming! Give me a second, please!" I called out, laying the mop against the counter. I was never the cleaning type, but once I got into my clean-freak moods, I was like Mr. Clean. I grabbed the bottle of bleach on the counter and tighten the lid on it, hoping that the fumes weren't too strong. The last thing I needed was it to be Danni at the door and the fumes bothering her and making her condition worse. I turned the facet on, slipping my hands underneath the water, washing them before heading to the door. I turned the gold-plated doorknob clockwise, and was taken by surprised by the two men in dark police uniforms, standing with their backs towards me. I cleared my throat, getting their attention, and for the first time, a chill ran down my spine. The man to my left had a name tag that said, Cox, on his breast pocket, while the man's name tag said, Grant. Cox was a tall man; however, he was quite skinny for his height. His eyes were a slight bluish color with a hint of green mixed in them. Cox reminded me of a guy that would be a lover than a fighter, but I guess looks could be deceiving.

Cox's partner, Grant, was an all-package when it came to men. Tall, muscles bulging out from his uniform, a cocky smile up underneath soft facial muscles, making that the total package.  
"Excuse me Miss. I'm sorry to bother you on your Sunday, but we were trying to find a person, and we thought maybe you could help us."

"Um…I don't know if I can sir, but I will try." I choked out, holding the door against my arm.  
Officer Grant adjusted his black tie, clearing his throat, "we are looking for an Anneliese Tasker. The daughter of a Mr. Howard Tasker."

I straighten my stance from my name and my fathers, while my chest's muscles constricting. What did the police want with me or with my father? Confusion filled my mind and resulted in my head to throb. Officer Grant stared at me, eyeing me out and down, waiting for my response. I opened my mouth but then closed it since my voice was too hoarse to speak.

"Miss, are you, Anneliese Tasker?"  
"Yes, sir, I am." My voice was cracking between each word.  
"Miss Tasker, is your mother at home?" Office Grant asked, gesturing toward his partner to come closer.  
I rolled my eyes, "no, she's in jail. I live here with my father, but he's at work right now."  
The more I talked to these men, the more my attitude became worse, "what exactly is this about officers?"

Officer Grant approached me, he head hanging further down than normal as if he was in some type of despair, "Well, Miss Tasker. Your father, Howard, was in a terrible accident around 9'o clock this morning."  
I could feel the tears saturating my eyes, down onto my cheeks, "Is he OK?"  
Though I had a gut-feeling about the answer, I still had to ask to double check.  
"I'm truly sorry; Miss Tasker, but your father died around 11 this morning."

I drew a quick breath in, my knees buckling inward, my vision becoming blurry. True enough, my father and I had our ups and downs but I never would have wished death upon him. He was everything to me from my father to my teacher, but now, he was gone.

Officer Grant faced his partner, "Cox, go to the car and get the paperwork for me, while I try and calm down Miss Tasker."  
Cox strode over to the car, reaching into the backseat and fumbled around with the misalliances things, while Grant gently rested his hand against my shoulder. The muscles in my shoulder stiffen from his touch and normally I would complain about some stranger touching me, but when it is someone of the law, I decided that the smart thing to do was to keep my damn mouth shut. Besides, it wasn't like he was trying to hit on me, just trying to confront me during my time of need and lost.

As hard as I tried not to cry in front of him, it was inevitable. Tears streamed down my face, a hole in my aching heart growing bigger. Reality sunk in that I had no one left in my family. My father and sister were dead and my mother, well, she wanted me dead. I had no one to turn to for this. As for my friends, Danni had her own family and own problems to deal with, and she didn't need more stress placed on her. Then there was Sav, who loved me dearly, but there was no way in hell that his parents would allow me to stay with them. Besides, to me that would be disrespectful to the Bhandari's if I shacked up with their son in their own house.

"Miss Tasker…" Grant whispered, gaining my attention once again, "a beautiful girl like you shouldn't be crying. I know that the circumstances are not good but if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know."

I forced a smile upon my face, "Thank you Officer Grant. That means a lot." There was anything else I could really say. He was being humble and I hated when a man acted like I was a fragile angel. He removed his hand from my shoulder, resting it comfortably at his side. This was the first time that I had had a good look at him.

His dark brown hair that was neatly cut around the nape of his neck shimmered from the sun rays, while his eyes resembled more of an amber color instead of a light brown. Just something about his eyes was peaceful and if a person stared long enough into them, they would be completely and utterly lost. I trailed my eyes down to his left hand, noticing a white tan line where a ring was once there. Either it was a high school ring or he was married and took off his wedding band recently.

"Miss Tasker…" I heard his deep voice call out.  
"Yes Officer Grant…" I answered, hoping that he didn't notice that I was staring at him.  
"Here are the papers that I needed you to look over and fill out."  
I took the papers from him and quickly scanned over them. A sharp pain shot through my head causing me to squint my eyes. The more I read, the worst the pain throbbed. It felt as if someone was stabbing me repeatedly in the head with a piece of fine, sharp glass. When it came to legal matters such as this, I always receive a migraine that doesn't cease for at least four or five days.

My thoughts were scattered, but I felt a soft pat against my shoulder blades that bother me back into reality, "Miss Tasker, I am sorry for your lost, but we have to attend to another call."  
I glanced up, noticing that Officer Cox was already sitting in the passenger seat of the police car.

"I am sorry to have taken so much of your time, Officer, but thank you for staying with me as long as you did." I whispered, holding my elbow with one hand and my head with the other.  
He smiled, shoving his hands into his pockets, digging around until he found a piece of paper and a pen. I quickly glanced down and so a small ring-shaped imprint at the bottom of his pocket, but my glance was averted back to his eyes. He jotted something down and handed it to me, "Here, please take this. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call. I always have my cell phone on me."

I wanted to decline, but it probably would be best to accept it and then throw it away later. I clasped the piece of a paper in my hand, placing it in my back pocket of my jeans, "Thank you, Sir."  
He gave a small wink, whispering, "And I mean anything. From someone to assist you with something or…a man to fulfill your desires at night."

My eyes widen from his last remark, however, before I could tell his ass off, he was back behind the driver seat of the car, pulling away from the curb. I stared at the backend of the car in disgust, in deep thought about how I really wanted to kick that cop's ass. My emotions were all over the place, one minute I was upset about my father's death, and the next, I was pissed off at Officer Grant hitting on me.

I drew in a breath and sighed heavily. What was I going to do? Money wasn't an issue right now, and probably never would be, but my problem was more serious than that. Who would I resided with or who would give up their life and resided with me? The answer came easy to me, no one. The only family that I had left alive and not in jail was my father's younger sister, who is complete bitch; and my mother's older sister and two brothers.

Sadly, none of them considered me family only the daughter of a man that was taken away by a whore. Why would they give up their perfect lives to assist with mine? Maybe it was best if I just try to live with one of my friends for awhile, but then again, I hate imposing on their lives.

I went back inside the house, shutting the door behind me. A wave of fear rolled over me, running through my heart, suffocating me slowly. It hit me, I was alone yet again and this time, there was no one that could possibly save me.

I strode over to the couch and fell into it. Tears rolled from my cheeks, my chest burning from my emotional pain. My father meant everything to me and now he was gone. Snatched away from me like candy being snatched away from a baby. Nobody in my family understood me like he did. He always saw the good in me and my achievements, never doubting me more than a second.

My body became heavy, the weight of the world crushing my shoulders, breaking them little by little. My father, my best friend was gone…wilting away…and there was nothing that I could do to bring him back. Sadness crept into my heart, pulling it down, filling it up with depression and regret.

I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them. I wanted to remain in myself pity and remorse. I loved my father and I will never be able to tell him again.

Two hours went by and I still remained in the same position as before, drowning my sorrows in my own tears. I attempted to get up and search for my father's secret stash of liquor; however, my body and mind were unconnected. I glanced over to the dark maple coffee table, looking at the clock, and noticed that it was already six in the evening.

To my surprise, came a short knock from the door. I buried my face in to a flower, decorated pillow, hoping that whoever it was would just get the hint and go away. Again cam another tap, and I figured it would be best to answer it and get them to leave ASAP. I staggered over to the door and pulled it open. Standing there was a less formal dressed Officer Grant.

Dressed in a pair of tightly fitted Wrangler jeans and a dark, blue Western style shirt, Officer Grant gave a friendly smiled toward me. I could feel his eyes tracing over my entire body, eyeing me from my head down to my toes.

"Miss Tasker, would it be OK if I came in?" he asked, shifting his weight between his feet. Apparently, he was off-duty and he had the nerve to come back to my house and hit on me. I quickly glanced down and noticed that his naked ring finger still didn't have a ring around it. I closed the door slightly, "Um…I don't think that would be a great idea."

His lips became thin, "Oh, I see. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright."  
I nodded, "I'm fine."  
He approached closer to the door, placing his foot between the door and the doorway. I could tell that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. I sighed, opening the door wider, "C'mon in."  
He smiled, shutting the door behind him and followed me to the couch, sitting down beside me. I crossed my legs, trying to act normal around him. In all reality, this man made me paranoid and I hated to feel like that.

Officer Grant looked around, taking the view of the house, "You here alone?"  
I narrowed my eyes from his question. What was he: a rapist?  
"Nom I'm not. My aunt's upstairs taking a nap." I lied.  
His expression dropped, "I see. Well, how hard of a sleeper, is she?"

I stared at him, "Why would you want to know that for?"  
Though I had a feeling that I knew the answer, I still had to act dumb. He scooted closer to me, resting his hand against my inner thigh, rubbing it up and down.

"Well, you're a woman, and I'm a man. Put two and two together." He whispered, blowing onto my neck.  
I pushed his hand off of my thigh, disgusted with this crooked cop. Did marriage mean nothing to him? I quickly got to my feet, "Please excuse me for a second."

I, more or less, ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind me as I grabbed for my cell phone off of the counter, dialing Sav's number. As the phone rung, I heard Officer Grant call out, "did I make you wet already?"

I gagged at this remark and finally Sav answered.  
"Hey Anneliese, how are you?"  
"Sav, can you come over now?" my voice was sharp and high-pitched.  
"What's the matter?" he asked, his voice shaking.  
"I'll explain everything when you get here. Just please hurry."

I heard a loud beep sound and glanced down, seeing that my phone battery died. Of all the times for it to die, it just had to be now. Even though, I didn't want to go back into the other room with that pig-headed bastard, what choice did I have? I had to remain calm and act like whatever he says doesn't bother me. I drew a deep breath in and flushed the toilet and turned on the facet. I unlocked the door and returned to the living room only to find Officer Grant, shirtless and his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped.

My eyes trailed over his body, taking in his soft facial muscles, his broad shoulders, leading down to strong arms that any woman would love to be caressed by. A warm sensation crept throughout my body, blood rushing to my cheeks. His lips parted, revealing two rolls of perfect aligned, whiten teeth. "You must like what you see. Maybe you would like to see more?"

I took two steps back, shaking my head from side-to-side, "No, I don't. I would prefer if you left, actually."  
He shoved his hands into his front pockets of his sagging blue jeans, "Well, I don't think your body wants me to leave."  
I rested my hands firmly on my hips, a growl escaping my lips, "I'm sorry! When did you get my body and what it desires! I'm tired of your mental sex games! Just because your 'wife' probably doesn't screw you, doesn't mean that you can hit on me, moreover have sex with me! A minor!"

His face stiffen, his brows drawing together as his lips grew thin. "You thought that I wanted to have sex with you?"  
The corners of his mouth grew slightly upward as a small laugh escaped his lips, "I'm sorry to say, but you were wrong, my dear. I don't want to have sex with you. I want to make sweet love to you."

Nausea hit me and I really wanted to gag from this pathetic excuse of a man. I drew a deep breath in, shoving my hands into my pockets, noticing that I had my cell. Though I couldn't call or text anyone, I could screw with his mind to gain me a little more time. I pulled my phone out, waving it up in the air, "I'm glad that you said that. Now I'm going to give it to the head of police!"

His shoulders shifted as he snorted air from his flared nostrils. Even though, I was completely buffing, as long as he didn't know that, it didn't really matter. All of a sudden, Officer Grant charged at me, knocking me off of my feet. His body overlapped mine, his weight bearing down against my chest.

"Bitch, give me it now or I pry it out from your damn hands!" he demanded, wrapping his hands firmly around my throat. His grip grew tighter, cutting my airflow off. Was he seriously going to suffocate me to death? I tried to move my legs but with the lack of airflow, my muscles became paralyzed. I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on my leg muscles, hoping that they would move.

"Bitch, open your eyes! I know that I haven't killed you, yet!" he released his grip, gawking down toward my chest. I flashed my eyes open, drawing my knees underneath me, pushing upward, and "Get the hell off of me!"

I continued to push upward, kneeing him harder in the groin. His eyes crossed, his body rolling off of me. I quickly got to my feet and ran to the front door, however, my escape was delayed by Officer Grant grabbing hold of my hair. He yanked hard, pulling me against his bare chest. He rubbed up against me, allowing me to feel every bulging muscle in his body.

"Let go of me, please!" I pleaded. He pulled my hair again, however, this time, he pulled it until I was facing him.  
"Kiss me…"  
I gathered spit in my mouth and pooches my lips, drawing my head back, releasing the liquid from my mouth, "I rather die than kiss you!"

A growl escaped his lips and opened his mouth and quickly shut it as if he was going to speak, but then changed his mind. I heard a small clicking noise behind me and then a voice that I was glad to hear, Sav's.

"Let her go or you will have a bullet through your brain." Sav demanded, cocking the gun back. Officer Grant released me; quickly put his hands into the air. The static between the two men intensified by each passing second.  
"Anneliese, are you OK? Did this bastard hurt you?"

I shook my head, "Nothing too bad…"  
Sav glanced down at my neck, noticing the black and blue marks appearing around it. He bit his bottom lip, pointing the gun further out. I knew that Sav was protective, but I never knew that he was this protective.

"Get your clothes and leave. If I ever see you around her ever again, I will kill you in cold-blood. Do you understand me?"  
Officer Grant nodded and gathered his belongings and was out of the door. Sav waited until the man was gone for ten minutes before locking the front door and resting the gun on the coffee table. I eyed the gun, wondering if Sav would have really killed him over me.

"Anneliese…" he spoke sharply causing me to jump, "Are you sure that he didn't hurt you, seriously?"  
I stood up, grabbing his hands, "I promise you. You got here before he did anything."  
I placed his hands on my hips, pressing my lips softly to his, "Please don't worry."

"How can I not? If something bad happened to you, I don't know what I would do. You are my girl and no one else's. Besides, why was he here anyway?"  
I looked down, avoiding all eye contact with him. I pulled away from him, biting my bottom lip, "He's a cop."

Sav's eyes widen, "you mean that I pulled a gun out on a cop."  
I nodded, "Yes…he came earlier today to tell me about my father."  
"About your father? Is he OK?"  
I closed my eyes trying hard to hold back the tears, "No, he's dead."  
He wrapped his arms around me, picking me up off of the ground, cradling to his chest. Tears streamed down my cheeks, my heart in so much pain. Sav started to hum, kissing my forehead, doing everything he could to comfort me.

He carried me upstairs and laid me on the bed and went to walk away; however, I grabbed his hand, "Please, don't leave me."  
He leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine, "I'm not baby girl. I'm just going to the bedroom, so you could get dressed for bed. I will return once you are done."

He walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him as I peeled my clothes off and grabbed a pair of shorts and a big T-shirt from my top drawer before crawling back into bed. A few moments later, Save returned by my side and crawled up beside me. He pulled me close against his body, stroking my cheek in circular motions. I felt myself getting drowsy and finally drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, panic struck me when I opened my eyes and saw that Sav was nowhere to be found. _Did I dream everything and my father was still alive?_, I thought as I rolled over on my side and noticed a piece of stationary folded neatly on the pillow. I took it into my hands and opened it, reading it slowly:

My Beautiful Anneliese,  
I wish I could have been there when you opened your warm, beautiful eyes, but I had to go to school. Considering everything that you went through yesterday, you deserve a day to yourself. Don't worry, I will get all of your assignments and I will deliver your plans to the Student Council Meeting today. If you need anything, anything at all, please call me. I love you.  
Love Always,  
Sav

Blood rushed to my face as I reread over his sweet and caring words. The phase 'I love you', I didn't hear that often and hearing it come from the man I was falling deeper in love with meant everything to me. I glanced up at the wall clock seeing that I had forty-five minutes before school started, which gave me plenty of time to shower, to get dressed, and to get to school on time.

Fifteen minutes before school started, I walked thorugh the doors of Degrassi and mingled my way to my locker. Out the corner of my eye, I noticed that Adam and Danni were talking to a male student with brown, shaggy hair that appeared to be new foreign exchange student. When I approached them, Danni and the new kid were already halfway down the hall, leaving Adam, and now Eli, standing at her locker.

Eli sighed heavily, "Guess, I'm too late…"  
"Too late? For what?" I asked, a little confused at the whole situation. Eli casted a baleful stare in my direction before punching Danni's locker.  
"Dude, calm down. He's…"Adam tried to explain before Eli cut him off.  
"Shut up! After all this…"

I flipped my hair over my shoulder, "Ah, Adam. He's just jealous because he has STRONG feelings towards Danni and he doesn't want another guy trying to interfere."  
Eli snapped, "Damn right!"  
I smirked and by the time he realized what he had admitted to, it was too late. He face flushed as I patted him on the back, "You come to ask her to the dance, didn't you?"

He nodded, "But it doesn't matter now…she has…Mr. London Accent Boy…"  
Adam nudged Eli in the ribs, trying to knock some sense into him, "Jealously doesn't become you, man."

I covered my mouth, hoping he didn't see me laughing, but it was inevitable. I flashed a smile at Eli and decided it was best if I headed to math class. Though I wasn't good at math, I did enjoy limits and the derivatives, which was the only reason why I enjoyed the class.

Ah hour later, class was dismiss and I quickly found Mr. Simpson and explained to him about my current situation.  
"Anneliese have you rearranged your living arrangements?"  
I took a seat across from him, crossing my legs, "No, sir. He died yesterday so I haven't gotten in contact with my aunt yet."

He gathered four forms together, "Take these. Make sure your teachers understand your situation. Also when will the funeral be?"  
"Tomorrow. The wake is tonight at 6:30 so I will talk to my aunt then."  
He gave a reassured nod, "Would you like the funeral to take place here? I would say the wake too, but seems like you have that set already."

"Thank you, Mr. Simpson, but the wake and funeral are set. Plus I don't really want everyone at Degrassi to know."  
He nodded as I walked out. Just in one day, my father will be buried and gone from this world, only leaving his fading memories behind. I sighed, bracing my back against the wall.

Thinking about my aunt made me nervous. Knowing that she already hates me and the fact that she has five children, made everything worse. The idea of asking her if I could live with them, when space was limited to them, would almost kill me. The last time that I had seen her was six years prior, right after my eleventh birthday. I hit my head against the wall, each hit getting harder each time. I felt a soft hand against my shoulder and to my surprise it was Danni and the new kid.

"Lise is everything OK?" her voice was soft and caring. I straighten my stance, "No, last night my father died in an accident."  
She embraced my tightly, "Why didn't you call me!"  
Tears filled my eyes, "Because…"

I knew that every Saturday, Danni did her treatments to help fight against her Leukemia and there was no way in Hell that I would bother her when she was sick.  
"The wake is tonight at 6:30 and the funeral is tomorrow at eleven in the morning. I don't know if you can go to either because of you know…so I didn't want to bother you…"

"You still should have told me." She blurted out, squeezing me tighter.  
"D-danni. Can't. Breathe. No. Air." I choked out before she'd release me.  
An apologized look crossed her face about almost choking me to death by her hug. I wiped my eyes and nodded in the direction of the new kid, "Who's he?"

"My name is Connor Phelps. I just transferred from London."  
I extended my hand, "Nice to meet you. I'm Anneliese Tasker, Danni's best friend and other half."  
Both Danni and Connor's eyes widen from my last remark before Danni elbowed me, "She's only joking. Lise, here, is dating Sav Bhandari, the guy I introduced to you earlier."

I pulled Danni to the side, "Oh, I have something to tell you about Eli, later. I think you would like to hear this."  
She glanced up at me, "What is it?"  
I shook my head, "Not here. Later today."  
She cocked an eyebrow, cofusing setting in, but there was no way I would try to explain everything in front of this Connor guy. I flashed a faint smile, "Don't forget that the dance is next Saturday. I hope to see both of you guys there, and if I don't, I w ill hunt you down and drag you there."

I grinned devilishly, hoping I could break the ice with Connor. Even though, Eli didn't like Connor, that didn't mean that I couldn't be friends with him. He seemed like a nice guy and had piercing green eyes that could look deep down into one's soul and see their true colors. I waved goodbye to Danni and Connor and headed to the Student Council Room, skipping my next two classes. I wasn't the type of person to skip class, but considering what I had just went through, it would be OK. I approached the dry-erase board on the front of the classroom, and chose three different color markers, red, black and green, to plan the entire Christmas Dance with. Across the board I wrote the topics of _Entertainment, Food & Drinks, Prices, Photos, _and _Music._ Under the heading, _Entertainment,_ I jotted down the words, live band, kissing booth with seniors, and the mistletoe dance. I stared at the words repeatily, deciding if all of them were good ideas. With the live band, everybody enjoyed Danni and her nad at the Halloween Dance, so I knew that would be a great idea. As for the kissing booth, I was undecided if that would be a good idea, since only the freshmen would enjoy kissing a senior. I wrinkled my nose at the idea and erased it from my list of ideas. I stepped over to _Foods & Drinks,_ and wrote down, cupcakes, cookies, punch, egg nog, bottle drinks, and water. I looked over each sub-idea, and was satisfied with each item. With the pricing, I decided to wait for the other members, since they would have to help me with the music selection anyway. Though Danni and her band would play most of the night, I still had to have backup music whenever they decided to take a break.

I glanced over my shoulder at the other empty board across the room and walked over to it and started to draw a blueprint of the auditorium for the dance. I was good at a lot of things, but I was great at planning at school dance. After finishing my blueprint, I placed the cap back on the marker and rested it on the desk beside me. I took a seat and gently lowered my head against the desk top, closing my eyes for just a second. My eyelids were so heavy from my lack of sleep and I could feel myself falling asleep.

"Well, I guess I could nap for a little bit or until someone wakes me up." I said aloud before falling asleep.

I felt a soft touch against my cheek and I flashed my eyes open. I peered around the room and noticed that it was only Sav kissing me on my cheek.  
"Are you OK? I hope I didn't scare you." Sav asked, sitting next to me.  
I push up off of the desk and shook my head, "No…" I looked around for a clock, but didn't see one, "Um..what time is it?"

Sav reached inside his coat pocket and check his phone and held it up to reveal the time to me. I jump to my feet, "Why didn't you wake me up sooner? I'm late!"  
Sav stared at me, "Late? It's only 5:30."

I faced him, slamming my palms against the desk, "My father's wake! I was supposed to be there at five!"  
I drew my brows together, "I still have to change! That will take at least an hour!"  
Sav got to his feet and pulled me against his chest. He embrace around me grew tighter, tracing his lips over the nape of my neck. I tried to resist at first but it felt so good and relaxing that I gave in to him. He flipped my body around, lowering his lips upon mine, tracing his tongue over my bottom lip. He knew exactly how to get me to forget every wrong thing and bow to his tempting seduction. Around him, I went from being a semi-hardass to a big softy. He just made everything seem so simple, so surreal.

Sav slid his hands underneath my shirt, rubbing my back, up and down as I gently pressed my hands against his firm chest, pushing him away from me. He widen his eyes from my actions and stared at me.  
"I can't Sav…please respect that." I crossed my arms over my chest, averting my gaze. He touched my chin with his index finger and coaxed it up until I met his undying gaze.

"I would never do anything to you against your will. Please do remember that."  
The corners of my mouth lifted up as I wrapped my arms firmly around him. He nibbled my earlobe playfully before whispering, "I think we better get you changed and to your father's wake."

I nodded after he released me, Good idea. Anyway you could drive me home and then to the funeral home?"  
He smiled and reached for my hand, guiding me to his dad's truck in the student's parking lot. He helped me in, slamming the door, and ran to slid behind the driver's seat. He brought the ignition to life and drove me to my house, waiting outside while I changed.

I grabbed my black slacks and a white, laced blouse from my closet, and slid them over my naked body before heading back out to Sav. Sav smiled at me and drove off from the curb and to the funeral home, parking in the lot beside the home.

I jumped out of the truck, meeting him at the tailgate, taking his hand in mine and we walked into the home together to face another challenge…my aunt.  
Standing off to the side, in a black strapless dress, was my aunt. The only reason that I could spot her so easily was because of her natural glossy auburn hair. I bit my bottom lip as I stared at the five people surrounding her, which were better known as her devil children.

My aunt glanced over at Sav and me and slowly approached us. Her eyes were red and puffy from her nonstop crying and grief over the death of her older brother. She looked past Sav and me and then back at us, "Where's that good for nothing her married?"

I wanted to tell her off, but bit my tongue, only due to the fact that this was MY father's funeral.  
"They aren't married anymore. Father filed for divorce, besides she's in jail."  
A smile rose upon her face, "Good, right where that slut belongs."

"Now Scarlett. That's no way to speak to your niece about her mother." A blond woman wearing a low-cut black mini-dress cut in.  
"Speaking of sluts! Hope how are you? Pregnant again, I see. What is that, your sixth child?" Scarlett snapped.  
"Yes it is. At least my man loves me and didn't leave me for a woman his own age unlike yours!" Hope flashes a smile, knowing that she had just won this little fallout.

Scarlett stomped off, leaving Sav, Hope and I to talk.  
"Anneliese, I'm so sorry about your father."  
"It's OK, Mrs. Hawking. I'm just glad that you could come."

Hope Cohen, now known as Hope Hawking, was my father's High School sweetheart. They started dating when they were twelve years old until they were sixteen and then she became pregnant with my half-brother, Nicholas. Hope the left my father shortly after she gave birth to my brother, for another man; and after that my father lost contact with her for ten years.

I only saw Nicholas a few times, however, I doubt that I could recognize him if I saw him on the street.  
"Anneliese, there is no need to be so formal. Please just call me, Hope. Of course I would come! I loved your father very much."  
I nodded, "Yes ma'am, I know. So is Nicholas coming?"  
She placed a hand underneath her bulging abdomen, cradling her unborn child carefully, "Yes, once he picks up Nichole."

I cocked an eyebrow, unaware of who Nichole was. Maybe it was his girlfriend or a cousin. Hope grimaced at the sight of Scarlett approaching us. Scarlett thought every woman my father ever been with, was trash and bad for him.  
"I see you haven't told my niece about yours and Howard's secret." Scarlett said, tossing her hair over her shoulder.  
"Secret? What secret?" I asked, glancing back and forth between the two women.

Hope cut her sea foam eyes in my direction, but avoid any eye contact.  
"You see, Anneliese," Scarlett began to explain before Hope had cut her off.  
"Shut up Scarlett!" Hope snapped, and then directed her voice to me, "You see dear, your father and I always had a very close bond. Well, two years after you were born, we ran into each other again, and we…"

I stared in complete silence, trying my best to understand what in the hell she was talking about. Scarlett patted her foot, clearly her patience was growing thin, "They had sex and she got pregnant!"

If that was the case, then that means that he cheated on Mother with Hope, a year after my sister was born. After all these years he didn't even mention that he had another child with Hope. Did my mother even know or was she lied to all these years?

Hope touched my shoulder, whispering, "We didn't mean for it to happen. We were each other's first loves and an old flame reunited. Your mother and my husband know about the one-night stand. I'm not proud of what we did, but I do not regret it since Nichole was the outcome of it."

I nodded, confused as hell from all of this. So Nichole wasn't my brother's girlfriend, but his sister, my half-sister. I felt myself getting sick and excused myself to the restroom. Sav was quick on my heels, rubbing my back, trying his best to comfort me. I couldn't wrap my head around this…lie. Since Nichole was two years younger than me, then that would make her fifteen. Fifteen.

"Anneliese are you OK." He whispered, stroking my hair.  
"What do you think" today was suppose to be a day to view my father and I just found out that he hid the fact that he had another child with a different woman, besides my mother."  
He pulled me into an embrace, cradling me against his chest. I felt his lips gently brush over mine, blood rushing to my cheeks. Having Sav here made it a little better, but knowing the truth still hurt. I step back, glancing up at the man I truly loved. He gave me a small smile, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"You're so beautiful." He murmured as I touched his face, rubbing his cheek softly.  
"Well isn't that sweet!"  
I turned around, a smile lifting the corners of my mouth upward, "Danni, I'm so glad that you could make it."  
Danni threw her arms around my neck, pulling me into a strong embrace. I tried to hold back my tears, but they just rolled from my eyes as she stroked my hair gently. Sav stood back, watching me with Danni, finally noticing that this was a time that he could not help me, but only she could. It was only something that she could understand and go through with me. I pulled away as she wiped my tears with the back of her hand. I told hold of her hand in my mine and walked up to my father's coffin.

My body trembled from staring at the wooden box in front of me. It gave me the freaking creeps. Unlike horror movies, which I loved, my father wouldn't be coming back. He was gone forever, along with all of my beloved memories.  
"Lise, I don't mean to pry, but why did you have a close casket?" Danni asked, tightening her grip against my hand.

"I wanted an open casket, but the funeral director refused. He said that my father's body was too torn up."  
"Is that so?" a deep voice came from behind us.  
Danni and I faced the person behind us, only to see a guy in his mid-20s with short brown hair that was neatly cut at the nape of his neck and around his ears. His piercing hazel eyes appeared as if they were staring right through us, down to our very souls. He was wearing a pair of black slacks and white-buttoned dressed shirt that had the first button undone.  
"Um…who are you?"

He extended his hand, waiting for me to take it, but when I refused, he then introduced himself, "I am Nicholas Cohen, your half-brother."  
I traced my eyes over the man that stood before me, remembering the Nicholas that I had grew to know.  
"You can't be. You don't have glasses and you don't have braces. Plus he was ugly and you're hot. So you can't be _my_ brother."

Sav grabbed my free hand, gripping it tightly as if he was claiming his proptery, never taking his eyes from the man before us.  
"Well, I wear contacts now and I had my braces removed three years ago." He explained, looking me over, "Wait, you thought I was ugly? Well, that's not nice!"

I shrugged my shoulders, unable to express any type of human emotions at the moment.  
"Anne, you haven't changed a bit, except you finally discovered a different hair style besides pig-tails and gained a fashion sense. You finally got some boobs too."

Both, Sav and I, glared up at him from his remark.  
"Dude! Don't be looking at MY girlfriend's boobs! No, man but me can stare at them!" Sav blurted out, pulling me against his chest. I felt my face go red as I stared blankly at him.

"You better not be staring at my younger sister's chest, you perv!" Nicholas growled, reaching for my shoulder. Sav spun me around him, my hair whipping against my back, "Don't touch her!"  
"Would you two stop acting like children!" a high-pitched voice yelled.

Nicholas looked over his shoulder as Sav and my eyes looked over to a top, heavy blod with shimmering blue eyes.  
"Nichole, I see you found me…" Nicholas smiled, grabbing for his sister's hands, "Anne, this is Nichole. Nikki this is Anneliese."

Nichole was fairly tall for her age, almost 6 foot if I had to guess. She resembled a sun goddess with her pale skin and her long silky blond hair that fanned down her back. Her crystal blue eyes simmering. She was wearing a black mini-dress that showed all of her curves that any man or woman would go crazy over.

She smiled, "Nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry about your father. Nick says that he was a real good man."  
I didn't know what to say to her except, "He was."  
Danni grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer to her, nudging me to go into the other room.  
"Lise, I'm sorry but I have to go," she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me softly, "I have to head home before Grams becomes too worried."

I nodded and watching her leave before heading to find Scarlett and figure out what the hell I was going to do about my living arrangements. I searched the entire funeral home, but still no Scarlett.  
"Odd. Did she leave already?" I said aloud. If that was the case, I would just have to talk to her at the funeral tomorrow. I walked in the bathroom and turned the knobs to the facet. I cupped my hands together and placed them underneath the running water before I heard a gagging sound come from within one of the bathroom stalls. I quickly turned the knobs counter-clockwise and looked under each stall until I saw someone kneeling down to the toilet bowl.

"Excuse me? Are you all right?" I called out, pushing the door open.  
"Go away, A-anneliese…"  
That's when I noticed that it was Scarlett puking her guts out. Though I didn't really care for the woman, I still felt sorry for her. I stood behind her, clasping her hair between my hands as I avoided looking in the toilet.

The sound of vomit hitting the water in the bowl caused my own stomach to pinch and my throat burned from the acid raising.  
"You know, you might want to see a doctor." I murmured, patting her on the back. She shook her head, placing her hands to her mouth, wiping the corners of it. I stepped back, my eyes narrowing from the disgusted sight. She grabbed the toggle and flushed, and then went and washed her hands.

"Can I…" I went to say before the creaking of the bathroom door interrupted me. A girl that looked just like Scarlett; stood in the doorway, tapping her foot repeatedly. She wore a black miniskirt with a white long shelves blouse with the first three buttons undone, revealing the black lace from her bra. Her long auburn hair curled and pulled back in a white ribbon.  
"Mom, the boys and I were wondering what was taking you so long?"  
"I'm sorry I worried you guys, but I think I had a little food poisoning and Anneliese here was helping me."  
The young girl nodded and exited the bathroom, followed by her mother and then me. To my surprised, there were five kids, their ages ranging, as one of the older guys winked at me.  
"Hey Mom! Who's this fox?"

"John! Mind your tongue!" Scarlett snapped, "That is your Uncle Howard's daughter, Anneliese."  
John's smile dropped, while his mom looked at me, pointing at each one of her kids, "These are your cousin. John, Travis, Seth, Erik, and April."

I nodded and waved goodbye. There was no point asking about my new living arrangements. I walked back in the room with my father's casket and rested my hands on the box. I wondered why the funeral director insisted on having a close casket. I grabbed the lid and opened it completely, seeing my bruised father's face.

Right between my father's eyes as a bullet hole that shattered through his left temple. When the officers told me that my father had an accident, I assumed that he was a car accident, but this…this was murder.

A hand rested against my shoulder causing me to jump as I turned around only to see Nicholas.  
"Easy there! Are you OK?"  
"Nick…are father was shot…" I said pointing to the casket.

Nick lowered his gaze, tracing his eyes over Father's limp body. He moved closer to me, whispering, "We will find out who did this! Anne, if you ever need anything, please let me know."

The rest of the evening became a blur from being in shock. On the way home, I talked Nick into staying with me during the night and that we would go to the funeral together. However, if I would have known that we would have slept through the alarm clock and three hours past the funeral, I don't know if I would have invited him over.

When I awoke, I jumped to my feet and shook the dear life out of Nick, screaming, "We are late! Oh my God, we are late!"  
Nick grabbed my shoulders, "Calm down! There's no point in rushing now. How about we just take the day to ourselves? Father is already buried and everyone probably has already left the gravesite."

I nodded, "OK. We can go by there later. Besides, I really needed to go shopping for an outfit for the Christmas Dance."  
Nick smiled, "Anne, do you think that your friend, Danni would go out with me?"

I stared at him in awe, "you are nine years older than her. You do realize that?"  
"And? Age is only a number." He said, crossing his arms over his chest, "I wouldn't try anything on her. I just want to see her smile."  
"Nick, that's so sweet, but she likes someone…" I explained, hoping he would drop it.  
I wasn't worried that Nick would try anything on her, but with the fact of her going through her treatments, I couldn't risk it.

"Could you call her and make some type of plans with her, please?" he pleaded, batting his eyelashes.  
I sighed, picking up the phone, dialing Danni's number; however, I only received her voicemail.  
"Hey Danni, it's Lise. I'm going shopping for the dance today around four and I wanted to know if you would like to come. If so, call me and I will make arrangements to come get you. Oh, my brother, Nicholas, will be coming as well…he has a crush on you…"

Nicholas grabbed the phone from my hand and a growl escaped his lips, "Anne! You are so dead!"  
I laughed, pointing at the phone, "Easy, big boy!"  
He quickly closed the phone and darted for me. I ran up the stairs, Nick right on my heels. I ran for my bedroom, slamming the door as I slid to the bottom of the door. I smiled, loving the feeling of having an older brother, even though that would soon change.


	22. 19 Change in Life: Heartbreak

After we made our way to science class, I took my normal seat at my shared station. My partner was absent however, and after giving his transfer papers to our teacher, Connor was assigned to work with me for the day. A smile across his face, he sat next to me and we got to know each other better. Though he was British, his grandfather was Japanese which was where he got his overall appearance from. We talked about things we both enjoyed doing, and the only thing we really disagreed on was our comic book preference. I'm a hardcore Marvel fan, he a DC. But I opted to forgive him for it, after all with all our other similarities how could one little detail keep a great friendship from blossoming?

We didn't get too much work done that day, I hate to admit. Aside from getting to know Connor and also introducing him to Sav, who came into class late, I still wasn't feeling well. I kept getting chills throughout the day, and felt like my blood sugar was falling and spiking. After science, I showed Connor where the art room was and took off for the restroom. I practically collapsed in the stall, seeing little black dots pop up that I knew weren't really there. But I didn't vomit this time, though it took me a while to catch my breath again. Finally when I felt stable enough, I got back to my feet and headed to the sink, washing my face off. I hated this sickness, and what it was doing to me. Truth be told, I feared I might turn bitter because of the cancer, and end up shoving people away from me. But part of me was always insistent that it would never happen, and I could only hope that part of me was right.

Once I got myself back together, the bell for class dismissal sounded and I shook my head in shame. "One of these days Colvin, you're gonna get expelled. Congratulations," I muttered to myself as I left the restroom. I saw Connor coming down the hall and waved, walking beside him once he caught up. "I have to say, these classes are quite different from what I'm used to," he told me, and before I could answer I saw someone beating their head against the wall. I walked over and laid my hand on her shoulder, and when she turned around I saw it was Anneliese.

"Lise, are you ok?" I asked her, but she shook her head. "No…last night, my father died in an accident." The news came as a shock, I hadn't heard anything about it before now. Quickly I pulled her into a huge embrace, worry for her and heartache for her father pouring over me as I forgot about my own troubles. "Why didn't you call me?" I demanded auietly, not understanding how she could put herself through that alone. She just answered softly, "Because…the wake is tonight at 6:30 and the funeral is tomorrow at eleven in the morning. I don't know if you can go to either because of you know…so I didn't want to bother you…"

"You still should have told me," I replied before squeezing her tighter. "D-Danni. Can't. Breathe. No. Air!" she gasped out, and I let her go with an apologetic look on my face. "Sorry. Still don't know my own strength," I laughed sheepishly, feeling the urge to lighten the mood under the circumstances. Lise wiped her eyes and noticed Connor for the first time. "Who's he?"

Connor walked closer and extended his hand, introducing himself. "My name is Connor Phelps. I just transferred from London." I smiled as the two of them shook hands, and nearly died when Anneliese spoke again. "Nice to meet you. I'm Anneliese Tasker, Danni's best friend and other half." My face went red for a second before I laughed softly and nudged her in the ribs. "She's only joking. Lise here is dating Sav Bhandari, the guy I introduced to you earlier." Before I could say more, she pulled me over to the side and gave me a grin. "I have something to tell you about Eli, later. I think you would like to hear this." I raised a brow. "What is it?" But she shook her head, "Not here. Later today."

'O….k,' I thought to myself, but said no more. If it had to wait until later, it must have been something important. "Don't forget that the dance is next Saturday. I hope to see both of you guys there, and if I don't, I will hunt you down and drag you there," she added before going off on her own. I nodded, throwing up my hand and walking back over to Connor. "Might I ask what all that was about?"

I shook my head, "Your guess is as good as mine. I swear, as much as she is my best friend I can hardly understand her sometimes." Connor laughed a bit and we made our way to the music room to have our lunch. I had to practice for the dance, since the band was going to be providing the entertainment. But I had a serious dilemma that I hadn't told Anneliese about; Nick was leaving the band. Earlier in the week we had a huge fight when he completely missed practice. As it turned out, he was at his new girlfriend's house, and she had been putting it in his head that none of us were important and the music was stupid. So in the end, the rest of us took off on our own, and now practiced in Rafe's brother's garage. So I still had to find another guitarist within a week's time…and I had no idea who to ask.

I picked at my lunch, nausea coming back at the look of the food. Rather than risking another bout of sickness, I decided to toss it before leaving for the day. Connor walked over to the instruments, picking up an acoustic guitar from the back wall. "I wish there were some electric ones here," he remarked. I blinked, sort of shocked by his statement. "You're a musician?" I asked, and he nodded. "Have been since I was five. My uncle was a street artist in the 80's, he taught me."

"Mind if I hear you play?" I asked, hope raising in me. I didn't want to allow myself to get too excited, after all I had JUST met this guy today. But if he was good, I was going to offer him a position in the band. After all, we were desperate to replace Nick, and this might be our only opportunity.

Connor nodded and began to play Hotel California by The Eagles, and I blinked in amazement. Even I was having a hard time mastering that song, and it was one of my all time favorites to top it off. "You're incredible!" I told him as he played, and he smiled. "Thanks, but it's nothing. I just enjoy music, that's all."

I had to take the chance, I felt it was the only one I was going to get. "Listen, I know we just met today, but is there any possible way I could convince you to join my band? We lost our lead guitarist and need one before the dance next Saturday." I batted my eyelashes and held up my hands in a pleading position. Connor placed the guitar back in its respective place. "Well, I don't know. I'm pretty sure I've got other things to do…" He took one look at my disappointed face and winked with a laugh. "Kidding. Of course I'll join. I didn't even know you played."

I nodded and we gathered our stuff as the bell rang. "Have been since I can remember. We're having practice tomorrow afternoon, and probably at least every other day until the dance." I gave him the address as well as my cell number, and we separated for our classes. Luckily I had English to distract me from allowing myself to begin feeling bad again. Today was one of the last rehearsal's for the play, which we were performing Friday night before the dance. I was excited, though I still felt kind of sick, and went backstage to get some water. Eli was standing next to the back wall, a scowl on his face.

"Ready for Friday?" I asked him with a smile, but he just scoffed. I didn't know what to make of it, so I crossed my arms. "Alright, seeing as I'm not catching on would you care to explain?" He chuckled low, once, and looked at me for the first time. "Oh, I don't know Danni. How about the fact that some random guy pops up out of the blue, and suddenly you're clinging to him like Velcro?"

I could hardly believe it. Eli was making a big deal out of my hanging out with Connor, and I had no idea why. "Maybe it has to do with the fact that one, I was helping him find his way around the school. And two, he's going to be playing with my band Saturday. How about before you jump to conclusions, get the full story." I growled, and went to help Adam with the lighting.

We went through our lines, but Mrs. Dawes told us to hold off on the kiss until opening night, which I was more than happy to agree to. I was so aggravated with Eli by this point I could care less if we kissed on stage or if it was cut out completely. By the time practice was over, I was ready to just bang my head against the wall and go into a coma until the school year was over.

I took off for my car as soon as the final bell rang, avoiding Eli and everyone else for that matter. I was beyond annoyed with Eli and his…I didn't even know what to call it, jealousy or angst, but whatever it was I was tired of getting it taken out on. I had the right to be friends with and hang out with whomever I wanted, and he was going to have to accept that one way or another.

Once at home, I took my pain medication and a short nap, getting up at five to get ready for Mr. Tasker's wake. I showered and pulled my hair up in a ponytail, and dressing in a simple black skirt and long sleeve shirt. My arm still harbored the nasty bruise from the attack in the park, and I was doing my best to make sure no one saw it. I didn't want anyone asking anymore questions, so I made sure to keep it wrapped and away from nosey eyes.

I informed Grams of the situation, to which she shook her head in shame and sadness. "Anneliese goes through just as much as you…it's terrible." She smiled though and kissed my forehead. "At least the two of you have each other. You make sure to tell her that if she needs anything at all, our door is always open." I nodded and got my purse then headed for the door.

It took me a little while to find the location of the funeral home, and on the way I did some thinking. Mostly about the songs to play at the dance. Of course there would be Christmas music, you couldn't have a themed dance without music to compliment it after all. But of course people would want to hear other songs as well, the question was just what exactly to play. Turning on my radio in hopes of inspiration, I heard one I immediately wanted to cover. I just had to get it all worked out, after things settled with the wake and funeral to come.

I arrived a little later than I had anticipated, but better late than never. Parking my car, I made my way inside to find myself surrounded by people I didn't know. I saw the casket in an adjoining room, but didn't go over just yet. I wanted to find Anneliese first. She was easy to spot, when I saw Sav hanging beside her. They were in a bit of a private moment, but not so much that it was awkward. I smiled and cleared my throat. "Isn't this sweet?" They turned then, and while Sav had a bit of a guilty look on his face, Anneliese just looked happy to see me. I pulled her into a tight embrace, hoping to offer some kind of comfort for her. I'd been here before, I knew how hard this was for her. Taking her hand, we went into the other room, to face the casket together. My heart ached for her, but something was bothering me.

"Lise, not that I mean to pry, but why did you have a close casket?" I asked, tightening my grip on her hand for support. She sighed and I could feel her trembling as she spoke. "I wanted an open casket, but the funeral director refused. He said that my father's body was too torn up." I laid my hand on the coffin and sighed, just as someone else came up behind us and began to speak. Turning my attention to him, And after banter back and forth between himself, Anneliese and Sav, I discovered that his name was Nicholas and he was Anneliese's half brother. I didn't even know she had one, and it defiantly threw me for a loop.

Things were beginning to get a bit uncomfortable for me, so I pulled Anneliese to the side. "I'm gonna head out. Grams'll get worried if I'm out for too long." I hugged her tightly once more. "Call me if you need anything, and I mean anything at all." She nodded and I smiled gently at her before heading out the door.

The ride home was quiet, but at least I had time to think about things. Mostly I contemplated about Eli. For some reason that boy just wouldn't leave my mind. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. I'd never had this problem before, especially not with a boy. What was it about him that made me want to punch him out of annoyance, but at the same time had me laughing and smiling as if nothing in the world was wrong? While I lied to myself and said I didn't know, in truth I did, deep down inside. But my pride wouldn't let me admit it.

I pulled into the driveway and parked, but I sat in the car for a minute. I wanted to talk to him, to get things straightened out. So after a couple of minutes, I backed out once more and took off down the road. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it was just what we needed. But for myself and my personal benefit, I had to try.

When I got to the Goldsworthy house, it took me a second to get myself together. Morty was parked outside, so I knew Eli was home. "Come on Colvin, get it together," I told myself. I let out a sigh of exhaustion and got out the car. Finally I made myself walk to the steps and knocked, fidgeting a bit as I waited. It only took a couple of minutes, but finally Eli answered the door. "Danni? What are you doing here?"

Crossing my arms, I smirked. "What, no pleasantries? No 'come on in, I've missed you,' sort of remarks?" I knew he was probably still ticked off with the Connor situation from school, but that trademark smile was still tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I just wanted to talk, that's all," I told him. So he moved aside to let me in, and we headed to his room.

He sat on the bed and looked up at me. "What's going on? No pretty boy hanging on your hip this time?" I shook my head. "I told you, I was just being nice to him. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." I moved and sat by him, looking over into his eyes. "We're best friends Eli, and I don't plan on that changing anytime soon. But I've gotta know, why are you so worried about me hanging around someone else?" He avoided my gaze then, looking away. "I don't know Danni, I just…I get scared sometimes. I can't risk someone else taking you-" but he stopped himself, shaking his head. "Forget I said anything."

So that was it…he was worried about being left behind. It hit me then; he didn't want a repeat of his past with Clare. "Eli, look at me," I told him softly. It took a second, but he finally turned his head. I could see a cloud of emotions in his eyes: hurt, anger…fear. My heart nearly broke right there. "I know you're scared. But I promise you, I will never abandon you. You're my best friend." I moved my hand to my neck, showing him the necklace he'd bought me that night at the concert. "I've never taken it off. Our friendship means more to me than anything. I need you to just trust me on that."

He was quiet for a minute, but finally his eyes went down to the floor again. I could see his hands shaking. "But what if someone better comes along…someone without so much baggage and who doesn't get easily jealous every time the girl he cares about goes off with some other guy?" My heart stopped for a second, and I looked over at him in disbelief of what I just heard. "The…what do you mean?" I asked him. But he didn't answer.

"Talk to me Eli, please." I was practically begging now. I just wanted answers from him, not another run around. I moved over and put my hands over his, feeling a jolt go through me the second our hands touched. He looked as though he felt it too, and finally looked at me. "You don't get it, do you?" He asked softly. I just shook my head and things finally began to make sense. "Danni, you're the only girl I want to be around. And when I see you with someone else, even if I know nothing's going on, there's always this thought in the back of my head that says you'll go off with them, just because they don't have so many problems and emotional baggage. Just like Clare…she didn't leave because her dad was getting transferred. She left for boarding school, because she said I was smothering her. She left because she said I couldn't handle anything, and she was tired of having to be my crutch all the time."

A tear ran down his face then. I had never seen him cry before, and it took all I had to keep my cool and not break down with him. "And then you came along. And you were there for me whenever I needed you. You saved me from losing my mind when Clare took off. You were there and you made me find other things to focus on and I realized that I could move on, and I could be happy again, as long as you were there." He moved closer to me then, putting his arms around me and hugging me tightly. "You keep me sane Danni, and you make me want to do better. But when I saw you with that Connor guy, all I could think was that I did something to start pushing you away too. And I couldn't stand thinking the one person who got me through everything was leaving me too…"

He was shaking more now, and I couldn't stand it. I hugged him tightly, stroking his hair. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He looked up then, and our eyes met once more. We didn't say anything, we didn't have to. "Thank you," he whispered, pressing his forehead to my own.

I have no idea how long we sat that way for. But something told me that it was just what he needed, and honestly…well, I was glad we were able to be that close. Something in my heart told me this was where we were always supposed to be.

When we finally did part, he walked me to the door. "See you in school," I told him as I walked out. "Yeah…Danni, wait a sec." I turned again, and he looked at me with that smile that made my heart melt. "Have you got a date for the dance yet?" I shook my head. "I think Drew was pressuring Adam to ask me, but considering he never did I am officially date free." He chuckled. "Wanna pull another best-friends-non-official-date date again?" I nodded, laughing a bit. "Sounds good. I'll meet you at the school, before they get the band to play."

And with that I took off for home, a smile on my face the entire time. Things were finally looking up. I even slept pain free and without getting sick that night. I slept later than I had planned and missed about half of school, so needless to say I was a mess when I finally got myself awake and together. I took my pain medication and took off, looking a terrible mess when I got to Degrassi. I made it in time for English though, which by this point was the only class I really cared about. Eli was missing though, so Miss Dawes had me work with Adam once more on the lighting while we waited for him to show up.

It gave me some time to talk to him, and get my mind cleared up. "Adam, can I ask you a question?" He nodded, testing one of the spotlights. "Go for it." It took me a second to get my thoughts straight, but I finally began to speak. "What do you do when you're stuck between a rock and a hard place?" He looked at me then, curiosity in his eyes. "What do you mean?" I didn't want to tell him about my sickness, but I had been doing a lot of thinking about it lately; if there was a possibility I wasn't going to make it, should I open myself up to friendships…and maybe a relationship if I was just going to leave it all behind in the end?

"Someone I'm close to is pretty bad off right now," I told him, trying to be discreet about the situation. "And I don't know how to make things better for her. She's always been a very private person and hasn't opened up about her personal life to anyone before. But now she's contemplating cutting off all her family and friend ties, because of something she's going through and she doesn't want to hurt them." He sighed, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Well, I kind of know how that is. See Danni…I'm transgender. I was born a girl, but I've always thought and felt like a boy. I'm just lacking the physical stuff. You know what I mean?"

I blinked in surprise. I never suspected Adam was actually a girl, in all the time I'd known him. 'Guess we all have our own secrets,' I thought to myself before smiling gently at him. "Well, I can't say I figured that out from the start. And I can't imagine how frustrating that's gotta be on you." He chuckled a bit. "Yeah. The worst part of it was having to live as a girl for my family. My mom is just starting to accept me as Adam, but I know in the back of her mind she's always gonna see me as Gracie." He sighed a bit then and moved the sleeves of his shirt back, revealing a few old scars up and down his arm. "This was how I used to deal with being Gracie. I would take a hair clip and burn myself, because it just seemed like an easier release. If I was Gracie and not Adam, things were easier. But I was lying to myself, and I only had Drew to rely on so I didn't know what else to do."

He moved his sleeve back down and looked up at me once more. "But I've got you and Eli, and Fiona and Clare, Dave. You guys have all helped me in your own way to become a person I can be proud of." I had to smile at him. Adam was really a brave person, and in his own way, was now my role model. "Thanks Adam. I think I know just what to tell her now." We fist bumped and about that time Eli finally showed up. "Now do us both a favor and go get your Landon," he said, tossing me a look that says he knew something I didn't.

I nodded, heading over to meet him halfway. "About time you got here. Where you been?" He shrugged. "Nowhere, everywhere." I cocked an eyebrow and crossed my arms. "Being a bit vague, aren't you?" He just chuckled and we headed towards the stage. "Woke up late, Morty had a flat tire, so I had to call Bullfrog to come give me a ride." Miss Dawes saw Eli finally got into class, so she rushed us through rehearsal. Finally it seemed we were ready to present the play to the public, and I was really excited for it.

After class was over, Adam, Eli and me headed for our last class of the day. It was a long, boring period of history and honestly I didn't keep up with much. When the dismissal bell rang I headed for home. I'd forgotten my cell at home in my mad rush to get to school that morning, and when I got home I saw I had a new voicemail. When I listened in, I about died laughing hearing Anneliese and her brother's interactions. I gave her a call back and tried not to laugh in the receiver as she picked up.

"Hey Lise. Sorry this is a few hours late, I was in school. I'm in serious need of getting a dress for the dance, so shopping sounds good to me." I could hear her brother in the background but I couldn't make out what he was saying. "Don't worry, I'm just glad you called. And Nicholas says he'll be happy to help you pick out something to go under the dress." My face went red and I could hear him exclaiming on the other end of the phone. "We'll come get you in about fifteen minutes," she said before disconnecting the phone. I fixed my hair a little better than it had been all day and when I heard the horn outside I headed out and jumped in the backseat of the vehicle. "Off to the mall!" I exclaimed and reached for the radio. Nicholas looked over and grinned at me. "So Danni, how is it a beautiful girl like you is still single?"

I blinked and looked over at Anneliese. "Doesn't he know?" I asked, grinning playfully at her. "I'm with your sister. Sav's just a cover up to keep the public out of our business." He looked shocked and Anneliese went along with it. "Oh totally, Danni had me questioning my preference of the opposite sex the moment I met her." Nicholas chuckled. "So the truth comes out…tell me, next time you two go to have some super happy fun time, let me know. I'll make you stars!" Anneliese smacked him in the back of the head and he laughed as I about died in the backseat. "I was kidding! Watch it Anne, I'm driving here!"

Anneliese just shrugged innocently. "You shouldn't be so gullible, Nicholas. Everyone and their mother knows Danni's heart is set on a certain dark and mysterious drama boy." My face went red for the second time that day. "Oh look, birds!" I said, pointing out the window trying to change the subject. But it was dropped as soon as we got to the mall. I took Anneliese by the arm and practically drug her into Debs to look for dresses. I must have tried on about seven thousand before I found one that I really loved. It was floor length and burgundy, with rhinestone trimmed along the bottom and top. The bruise from my attack was finally healing, but if it wasn't gone by Saturday I'd just wear some long gloves or something. I paid for it and waited for Anneliese to pick out something for herself. In the meantime I got to talking with Nicholas. As it turned out we had a few things in common; we liked a few of the same bands, books and tv shows. He was very sweet, and from the way he kept looking at me I had a feeling he was really interested in the things I had to say.

Finally we got done getting our dresses and stopped off in the food court. The smell of the food really made me sick to my stomach though, and I had to take off for the restroom. But after this vomiting spell, it took me a lot longer to get off the floor. Something was beginning to feel wrong, but I didn't know what.

"Danni?" It was Anneliese, knocking on my stall door. I got myself calmed down, taking deep breaths. "I'm alright," I told her, flushing the toilet and letting myself out of the stall. She looked extremely worried, but I did my best to smile. "It's just my meds," I told her, walking to the sink. I washed my face and rinsed my mouth out, though the water from the mall was pretty disgusting in itself. "Should we take you home? I'm worried about you."

I didn't want to leave, but I knew that if I was out too long I might get worse. "Yeah, it might be a good idea. I just need some sleep." She nodded and walked out with me. "Nick, we've gotta take Danni home. She's not feeling well." He looked concerned, but I just smiled to reassure him. "I just have a lightweight stomach right now. I'll be fine after I get some rest." He took my bags and we headed outside for the car. It took all I had to keep myself from getting car sick, and by the time I got home I was really starting to feel bad. Anneliese helped me get inside and when Grams saw me, she looked extremely worried. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"She got sick at the mall," Anneliese explained, and I nodded. "Come on love, we're taking you to the doctor." Grams was taking no chances, but I shook my head. "I'm alright, I promise. I just need some sleep." She looked skeptical, but I assured her I was fine. It took some coaxing, but finally she agreed. Anneliese left and told me to call if I needed anything. I promised I would, and finally got myself to bed. I was beyond exhausted that I didn't wake up at all until twelve the next day. I opted to just skip school and if I was feeling up to it later, just practice with the band.

The day was slow and I stayed in bed most of the day. Finally I decided to try and get up. Rafe's brother's house was just down the road from me, so if anything went wrong I could be home in two minutes flat. I drove down to his place and took out my Stratocaster from the trunk of the car, and saw Connor walking around the corner then. I waved at him, and he jogged the last few feet to meet me. "Missed you in school today. Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Yeah, just had to take a day to myself. Come on, we've got a couple of days left until the dance, and we need some serious practice." We headed into the garage and I introduced Connor to the rest of the band. They seemed to all hit it off right away, and by the time practice was over, I knew this was going to work out in the end. Connor played really well and for the first time in months, the entire band was in sync. We practiced for about two hours before I began to get tired again. So I packed up my stuff and reminded everyone to meet at the school by five and dress nice before heading back home.

Once back in my bed, I began to feel a little better. But I knew I shouldn't be this tired all the time, the medicine was supposed to make sure of that. I had the feeling I should go to the doctor, and since there was still a day left before the play, I told Grams I wanted to go the next day. She agreed and called my doctor, who agreed to have me come in around ten in the morning.

I wasn't in the bed five minutes before my phone went off. It was a text from Anneliese checking on me. I texted back I was fine, we were still on to play Saturday night and that I was going to the doctor tomorrow at ten. I then texted Eli and let him know I was going to be late getting to school, but to let Miss Dawes know I would be there for the final practice. Finally I passed out for the night, but woke up a couple of times throwing up and feeling feverish.

The next morning couldn't come fast enough, and when we finally got to the doctor's office my hands were shaking from nervousness. I asked grams to go back with me and she nodded, holding my hand as we walked back. Some tests were run after I talked about getting sick a lot more often than I should be and my exhaustion. "It's most likely side effects from your medication," Dr. Devon explained, looking at my overall condition. "But we'll find out for sure. Try not to think about it Daniella, and go about your life as you normally would. We're going to figure this out, I promise you."

I felt a bit better as I left the doctor's office. She gave me a new medication to take, this one not as strong in dosage to see if it would help with the nausea and vomiting. I took my first dose before going to dress rehearsal, and it seemed to be helping by the time I got to Degrassi.

We ran through the play without a hitch, trying on our costumes and going as if it were the actual performance. Tension was high between Eli and myself with our kiss coming up the next night, and at times I could barely look him in the eye due to my nerves kicking in. But to Miss Dawes it was the perfect amount of chemistry between the characters, so whatever made her happy was all I could ask for at that point.

I left the school after rehearsal and went home, sitting in a hot bath for a good hour as I thought about things. I asked myself what life would be like if Corey was still here. Would he like Eli? Would he be performing with us in the play? Would our family still be together? Would…mom still be alive?

I got out of the bath and got into some night clothes, going to my old jewelry box on my dresser. In the very bottom pull out drawer, there lay a necklace given to me the day my mom left me with Grams. It was a gold cross with a pink-gold rose in the center. Before everything happened with Corey, my mother had been a pretty religious woman, and she never took that necklace off. I never wore it for fear of breaking it and I always thought she was coming back for me. But thinking back, I remembered the words she said to me that day…the last time I ever spoke to her. "Danni…sometimes we do things for people out of selfishness. Other times it just seems that way, but it's really for the good of the other person. We won't always see the result until the good Lord says it's time to understand the plan. Always remember that."

Looking back, I saw now what she meant then. She did what she thought would be best for me, even after giving up on herself. While my faith was never something I really thought about before that moment, I knew somehow that it would keep me connected to my mom. I placed the necklace around my neck right beneath the one from Eli and laid my hand on the cross. "Thank you Mom," I said quietly, a single tear sliding down my face.

The next day passed quickly, and drama students were excused to the auditorium for the entire day. Anneliese caught me before class, pulling me into a huge hug. "I'm glad you're feeling better Danni, I was worried out of my mind." I smiled at her and nodded. "I'm great! The doctor gave me a better medication, it's been helping a lot." She grinned and gave me one more hug. "Break a leg tonight. I'll be in the front row." She took off for class then and I went into the auditorium. All day we worked on getting the lighting just right and the microphones set at the right channel, and decorated the stage. I helped with the costumes and Imogene Moreno, who was going to play Belinda in the play, worked on the makeup.  
Ever since I got into drama, Imogene and I had gotten to know each other better. I'll be the first to admit when I met her I thought she was weird as a fruit bat on drugs. But once we got to working together and know each other, I found she was an absolute sweetheart.

We talked for a bit about the costume choices and how we were doing our hair and makeup for the night, and she even agreed to help me with my stage makeup since I was a bit lacking in that department. After getting everything set up, we walked out to finish printing last minute tickets, and I saw Holly J and Fiona setting up a table to sell them. Holly J gave me a look that could have killed and muttered something as my back was turned. I whirled around, not having this tonight. "I'm sorry, did the troll speak?"

She glared at me, "What is your problem now Colvin?" I crossed my arms, looking down at her. "I was gonna ask you the same question, but seeing that huge zit on the end of your nose kind of answers it for me." She looked furious, and I glared at her. "You act so tough, but everyone knows you're just as human as the rest of us. And I'm sick of having to fight with you Holly J. Whatever issues you've had with me, just spit it out already."

But she said nothing, merely turned on her heels and took off. "Man, talk about immaturity," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Holly J's always been one to want to be in the spotlight. If there's not something going on, she's gotta make it seem that way," Fiona said with a shrug. "Guess so. But at least you're civil enough to talk about things, Fiona." I smiled at her. She wasn't nearly as bad as Holly J, at least she had some kind of morals.

Imogene and I printed out the last of the tickets and handed them to Fiona as the students left school for the day. We had two hours left until the play began and still had so much to do. The time rushed by and before I knew it we were rushing to get into our wardrobe. Even from backstage I could hear the crowds of people coming into the auditorium. The second Imogene finished my makeup I ran and peeked out. It was a full house, and suddenly I questioned if I could do this or not. But it was too late.

"Curtain in five everyone," Miss Dawes called out, and we all made a mad rush to get into our respective places. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked to see Eli smiling at me. "Don't be nervous Colvin. We can do this." He pulled me into a huge embrace. "Break a leg tonight." I chuckled, "One for me, one for you." He moved to position and a short introduction was given…and the curtain rose.

Once on stage, my nerves finally died down. I focused on my lines, my scenes, and with each scene change I began to realize that the kiss was coming up. Before I knew it, the scene arrived; it was the big one for Jamie and Landon, and for Eli and myself it was just the same. Our eyes never left each other as we began.

"Jamie, how can you be so sure of your faith?" he asked, studying my eyes like he really wished to understand. I shrugged my shoulders, turning towards the crowd as if looking off into another world. "It's like the wind, really. I can't…see it, but I feel it."  
A hand was laid on my shoulder. "And what do you feel?" I smiled, looking at the ground and laughed softly. "I feel wonder, beauty, hope, grace…love." I turned to face him then, and got lost in the look in his eyes. I nearly forgot where we were, what was happening. "It's the center of everything."

And in that moment, he leaned down, his lips brushing mine. It was only for a second, but he moved them back and kept them there this time. They were so warm and inviting, I lost thought of everything that was going on. We didn't move apart until the curtain closed for a scene change, and that was only because Miss Dawes hissed for us to break it up. He moved back, and even in the dark I could feel him looking down at me. But even as we went through the rest of the play, my heart never slowed to it's normal pace.

The play ended after about two hours, maybe not even that long. But we got a standing ovation from the crowd, and as we moved to the stage to take a bow, I could feel Eli's eyes on me the whole time. I couldn't keep the smile from my face, and as we went to meet with the crowd, Anneliese ran and threw her arms around me tightly. "That was GREAT, Danni! You guys were amazing!" I laughed as we pulled apart, shaking my head. "Thanks Lise. I'm amazed I didn't upchuck, really." She reached over to Nicholas and took a dozen roses from his hand and gave them to me. "These are from us and Sav."

"These are beautiful, thank you guys!" I hugged each of them, grinning like a kid on Christmas. They moved over to hug Eli, and after talking to a couple of more people I moved backstage to change. There was a teddy bear on my mirror, with a note from Connor saying he was sorry he missed me, but that I did wonderfully. I carried it with me and left the school, riding home with an ever-praising Grams. She couldn't get over how well the play had gone, or that Eli and I had kissed. "Let's not read too much into that," I laughed gently.

Once home I put my flowers in water and my bear on my bed. I kissed Grams goodnight and headed for bed. But before I could get changed, there was a familiar tap at my window. I walked over and lifted the pane, and Eli slipped through the opening. "You know we have a front door, right?" He just laughed, "I've told you, doors are for squares. The window is much more spontaneous." I shook my head, he was hilarious in his own way. But my heart picked up speed, seeing him in my room. "So what can I do for you, Mr. Goldsworthy?"

He didn't say much at first, and I began to wonder if something was wrong. "Danni, did you…feel anything when I kissed you?" He looked up at me, studying my face. I didn't really know what to say. "I…what do you mean?" He turned, shaking his head. "Nothing, forget it." But I caught his arm gently, coaxing him to turn back around. "No, talk to me Eli." He turned back after a minute and looked me in the eyes. "Have you ever felt anything…more between us than friendship?" I blinked in surprise. Was he asking me what I thought he was? "Are you asking if I-"

"Do you love me?" it was out of the blue and sudden, but he sounded as though he really wanted an answer. But what could I tell him? "I don't know if I love you Eli," I said, and he looked almost defeated. "But I know that I feel…something for you." He seemed like he'd take that as an answer, and before I knew what was happening he leaned over and kissed me once more. This one was much more passionate, not as nervous as he had been when we were performing. I closed my eyes and slipped my arms around his neck as he placed his own on the small of my back.

"I'll take that," he said softly as we parted. He moved the hair from my face and smiled gently. "I'll see you tomorrow Colvin." And with that, he ducked out the window and was off into the night. My heart about burst in my chest as I sat on my bed. Maybe…maybe now things were looking up for both of us.

The next day I could hardly concentrate on anything. I spent most of the day at the garage practicing with the band, and we left to get ready around three. I showered and did my hair up rather than leave it straightened and down over my shoulders, then put on my dress and a touch of makeup. Eli was supposed to meet me at the school so I texted him that I would see him soon.

Once I was satisfied with how I looked, I headed for the school. It was right around five, so the band was getting set up. Others were showing up and I met with Anneliese and Sav as soon as I got into the school. "Hey guys," I smiled, thinking about how cute they looked together. "Have either of you seen Eli?" Sav shook his head, "Not since yesterday. And by the way, that lip action? About time you two had some." I smacked his arm and laughed a bit. "Very funny Bhandari. If you see him, send him my way alright? I've gotta get set up."

The makeshift stage was roomy enough for us to have a lot of fun if we decided to move around while performing, and I was getting excited to get things going. Other students began coming in, but I would only look up every now and then if a flash of black hair would go by. But Eli never showed up, and something didn't seem right about it. Even when we would get into fights, he was never late to anything. All I could think was something had happened to him, and pray that it wasn't true.

My band however, came first and when most of the students had shown up, Anneliese and Sav announced our performance and we began. First we played some Christmas classics; Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, Last Christmas, All I want for Christmas is you, and a few others. Over an hour passed before I realized it, and still no sign of Eli. I finally asked for a break from Sav, saying I had to make a phone call. He nodded and pulled out a stereo for our intermission.

I ducked out and pulled my phone out of the small purse I carried with me, heading to the front steps of Degrassi for better service. I dialed Eli's number, but it went straight to voicemail. I began to speak, opening the door to step outside. "Eli, it's Danni. I just wanted to make sure you were ok-" But I stopped midsentence, my eyes focusing on a scene I would have never pictured happening. There was Eli, at the bottom of the steps. But he wasn't alone. His arms were wrapped around another girl, his lips on hers. I recognized the girl without a bit of hesitation; Clare. She was back.

"Danni?" I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, but I threw it back and turned, running back into Degrassi. I lost all track of what I was doing, I just ducked into the first door I could find; it was an empty classroom. I closed the door behind me and sank to the floor, my heart breaking as I replayed the scene over and over in my head. This whole time it had been a game…and I had played right into it.


	23. 20 Change in Life: This Is Not Real!

Hearing the pounding noise from the other side of the door, I couldn't help but laugh. Nicholas was ticked off, but I knew that he didn't have a chance with Danni; especially since Danni had feelings for Eli. I removed my hand from the knob and walked over to my bed and plopped down and then covered my head with a pillow. Finally, Nicholas got the hint that I wasn't going to unlock the door and he left, but in all honesty, I wanted to be left alone. Closing my eyes, I began to dream of how it was before my father died. A peaceful life where everyone in our family, including my mother and sister, could live happily without any regret or sorrow. Tightening my eyes from my dream, I suddenly jumped from my sleep, in a cold sweat, my breathing staggered. Placing a hand over my chest, I took a deep breath inward, hoping to calm my nerves. I was successful and glanced down to see the culprit that woke me up. It was the annoying ring of my cell phone and when I picked it up; I saw that it was Danni returning my call.

"Hello?" I said, talking into the receiver.  
"Hey Lise. Sorry this is a few hours late, I was in school. I'm in serious need of getting a dress for the dance, so shopping sounds good to me."  
To my surprise, I didn't notice that Nicholas had broken the lock on my door and was standing in the distance, mumbling about Danni and him taking her out. I rolled my eyes and a small smile spread over my lips. "Don't worry; I'm just glad you called. And Nicholas says he'll be happy to help you pick out something to go under the dress."  
That is when Nicholas lunged for me, causing us to fumble to the floor; however, I never lost my grip on the phone. "We'll come get you in about fifteen minutes."

I hung up, pushing my body off of my brothers and walked over to my door. I pointed out, so he would leave and I could finally get dressed. He took the hint and left, and then I opened the door to my closest and pulled out a pair of jeans and a dark blue tank-top that was layered with a thin layer of lace. After getting dressed, I walked downstairs, where Nick was waiting for me with his truck keys.  
"Ready to go?" he called out over his shoulder. He waited for me to exit and followed step, locking the door behind him. He helped me into his truck, since it was higher up than a normal one, and slid behind the driver's seat and brought the engine to life and then pulled it away from the curb. Within a short drive, we were outside Danni's house and that is when Nick tapped on the horn, letting her know that we were outside. Danni came out and quickly jumped in the backseat and reached for the radio, searching for a better station than what Nick had it on. "Off to the mall!" She exclaimed once she found an upbeat station and then leaned backwards in her seat.

Nick glanced over his shoulder with a grin across his face, "So Danni, how is it a beautiful girl like you is still single?" Danni had a blank expression across her face, for a near minute, before she looked at me, "I'm with your sister!"  
I smirked, quickly glancing over to see Nick's expression but I could tell that he was ignoring most of what Danni was saying after she brought up that we were together. I rolled my eyes since I knew exactly what he was thinking.  
"So the truth comes out…tell me, next time you two go to have some super happy fun time, let me know. I'll make you stars!" Nick exclaimed as he punched a different station on the radio. He looked into the rearview mirror, so he could see Danni's face and that's when I reached forward, smacking him in the back of the head. "I was kidding! Watch it Anne, I'm driving here!"  
I leaned back into my seat, folding my arms over my chest, "You shouldn't be so gullible, Nicholas. Everyone and their mother knows Danni's heart is set on a certain dark and mysterious drama boy."

I could tell that Danni no longer wanted to discuss her feelings about Eli, but she couldn't continue to run from them forever. Or could she? We soon got to the mall and all three of us jumped out of the truck. Danni locked arms with me and dragged me into a store called Debs, which I was against, only because a lot of the dress didn't fit me well. Unlike most girls my age, I wasn't a full figure, but a lot smaller. Danni went through the different dress, searching for the perfect one and I soon fell into step. I must have walked around the store six times before finding the perfect one. It was a dress meant for royalty. It was a dark blue mixed with black and had sleeves that rested slightly underneath the shoulders and showed the correct amount of cleavage. The corners of my mouth quirked upward as my eyes trailed over the dress and that's when I removed it from the rack and then walked over to the sales clerk to pay for it with my father credit card. Once they bagged it, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Danni and Nick discussing something. I didn't want to interrupt them, so I pretended to shop.

I soon became bored with shopping and headed over to them and we then headed to the food court to get something to eat. Normally I wouldn't eat mall food, but I haven't eaten anything decent in a few days. I didn't eat a lot of fatty or carb foods but every once in awhile I liked to pig out like a normal teenager. After we received our food and found a place to sit, Danni soon ran off to the restroom. I knew something wasn't right.  
"Nick, excuse me for a second." I said as I followed Danni to the bathroom.  
Hearing the liquid hit the water in the towel bowl, I tapped on the stall door until Danni spoke.  
Once she came out of the stall, I could tell something was off and I knew we had to get her home. "Should we take you home? I'm worried about you."  
She nodded, "Yeah, it might be a good idea. I just need some sleep."

I placed a firm hand against her back and guided her back into the food court where Nick was sitting. "Nick, we need to take Danni home. She's not feeling too well."  
Nick nodded and he helped her to his truck and he punched the accelerator, trying to get her home faster. I helped her get inside her house and then had to explain to Grams what happened. I hated seeing her like this, and I wished that I could help her, but I didn't know a way that I could. I said my goodbyes and walked back out to Nick's truck and jumped in and before I knew it, I was home.

Once inside the house, I went upstairs to my room and grabbed my phone, checking for any missed messages and to my surprise, I had one. I glanced over to the sender and was taken back when I was that it was Scarlett. I opened it, quickly reading over it.

Tomorrow, I need you to come to the lawyer's office so you can sign some papers regarding your living arrangements. I need you to be there by 8AM and no later.

I closed my phone and chunked it across my room. I hated that woman more than anything right now. Why couldn't I just live with Nick, but then again, he was only living here temporality. I drew in a deep breath and headed to take a shower. That's what I needed. To wash away all of my thoughts with a nice hot shower.  
Getting out of the shower, I headed back to my room and got into bed. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and hope that this reoccurring nightmare would soon end.

The next morning, I woke up thirty minutes before I had to be at the lawyer's office. I decided that I would walk there since I still refused to drive. Even though I wasn't responsible for my sister's death, I believed that I was. During my walk, I tried to changes my overall thoughts, so I started to think about what exactly I might have to sign and I shook my head from each dying thought. Upon my approach, I smoothed my palms down the length of my jeans and then pushed forward until I was in the waiting room. I was finally called back and was taken to a large room where Scarlett was sitting. I took a seat that sat directly across from her and then crossed my legs, my nerves starting to kick in. The lawyer came in a few moments later and sat straight across from me and laid a stack of papers on his desk.

"Hello there Miss Tasker and Ms. Tasker." He said, extending his hand outward, waiting for both Scarlett and myself to shake it. Once we did, he began speaking again, "I'm a terribly sorry for your lost, but as you know, we need to talk about the legal matters."  
He took a seat in his leather chair and pulled out a piece of paper from the file and glanced over them.  
"So Howard Tasker is the father of you." He said, pointing to me and then pointed to Scarlett. "And is the older brother of you." He glanced up and we both nodded and then he looked back down at the piece of paper. He continued to stare at it for a couple of minutes before he leaned back in his chair, looking back and forth between us.  
"By this, everything is left to his oldest daughter, Anneliese Tasker, except for $500, which is left to you, Ms. Scarlett."

"What!" Scarlett exclaimed as she jerked her body forward, slamming her palms down on the table. "There has to be some mistake!"  
"I reassure you ma'am, there is nothing else in his will except for taking care of Anneliese when he died; and since he did sadly, either you will have to move into their house or Anneliese will have to move to your home. That is of course, if you are fit to raise her. If not, then the next of kin will step in, which is her older brother Nicholas Cohen."  
My eyes widen when I heard the living arrangements. I knew that Scarlett would make me move to Washington with her, only as spite, and laugh about it behind my back.  
"I understand, Mr. Lloyd and I am very capable of raising my niece. I will make arrangements for her to move in with me as soon as possible."  
"Very well, Ms. Scarlett." He husked, ruffling the papers together and placing them back into the file. "Then it is settled. Anneliese will move in with you as soon as possible."

I sighed from the decision and got to my feet and headed out of the door. I hated being forced into something that I knew I was going to hate. Scarlett hated me and she would make my life a living hell and there was nothing I could do about it. Scarlett followed quickly behind me and when we were outside she informed me that she would allow me to finish the school year, but the day afterwards, I would have to leave. Watching her get into her car and pull away from the curb, I hung my head low and then walked towards Degrassi. I had to check in on the preparations for the dance, which was in two days.  
Walking through the halls of Degrassi, reminded me of all of the good times. Meeting Danni, Sav and my other friends, and finally being able to be myself. At my other school, I was surrounded by liars and friends that only liked me because I was rich. However, here, it wasn't like that. Finally getting to the Student Council room, I was greeted by Sav with a kiss.  
"Hey baby! I'm glad that you stopped by."  
"I'm glad too." I said, walking over to the first vacant desk that I could sit in. "So, what else needs to be done?"  
He wandered over next to me and leaned against the desk top, "Well, only to go over the check list once more. Other than that, we managed to get everything you wanted done."

A small smile spread across my face, "Thank you. I don't think I would have been able to keep my end of the bargain without you."  
Sav opened and then closed his mouth quickly when Eli entered the room. "I see that you are finally back. I'm sorry to hear about your dad."  
I raised my hand upward, giving him a hint not to mention anymore. I wasn't ready to talk about anything pertaining to my father. Eli took the hint and placed a firm hand against my shoulder, "I'm sorry. Too soon…I'm an idiot."

Clearing my throat, I got to my feet and jokingly punched him in the shoulder, "So, have you asked Danni out yet?"  
Eli's brows furrowed from my question and refused to answer anything. I took that as my answer and knowing him, he didn't. I shook my head and wondered if he would ever get up the courage and ask her out. Eli seemed so rounded and nothing would scare him, but then again, rejection would scare anyone. I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed hold of Sav's hand. I truly did miss him and I was proud to be his girlfriend. I cut my eyes at Eli and he bowed and exited the room, leaving me and Sav.

"Do you need a ride home?" Sav asked, rubbing his thumb over mine. When I nodded, he swoop his arms up underneath me and carried me to his truck. After helping me in and shutting my door, he took his place in the driver seat and drove me home. Coming around, he opened the door and led me up the doorsteps, allowing me to unlock the door. "Would you like to come in?" I asked, and became extremely happy when he nodded. He followed me into the house and before I could even shut the door, he whisked me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. Feeling them move against mine, made a sense of protection fall over me, a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. We continued to kiss until the vibrations in his jeans' pocket distracted us. He laid me down on the couch and raised his index finger upward, "One second."

He walked into the other room, leaving me on the couch. I stared up at the ceiling, counting the small white tiles until he finally came back. "Anneliese, I'm sorry, but I have to go. My father needs me and I couldn't say no. I'm sorry."  
I shook my head, "Nah, don't worry about it. I understand." I swung my legs over the cushions, sitting upright, "Will you meet me at Danni's play tomorrow?"  
He nodded, "Sure." He leaned down and kissed my cheek before walking out the door.  
Sighing heavily, I went upstairs and took a shower and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning late. Since I still had an excuse, I decided to stay home until it was time to go to Danni's play. When it was about an hour before the play started, I finally decided to get dress. I couldn't make my mind up on what to wear but soon agreed to wear a long black dress that cut right underneath my knees with a pair of matching black heels. Running my fingers through my hair for the last time, I looked over to the wall clock before I felt a hand pressed against my shoulder.  
"About ready to go or you need to finish getting dressed…again?" Nicholas said, removing his hand from my shoulder and then let it fall back to his side.

Jokingly, I punched Nick's chin and then rolled my eyes before heading for the door. Nick followed behind me to the truck and lifted me up into it before he strode around to the driver's side and hoped behind the wheel. Pressing his heel to the accelerator, he pulled out of the driveway and then on the road, heading towards Degrassi. Turning on the radio, I started to sing along with the music. I loved to sing along with anything and it helped the time go by. Shortly after, Nick pulled into a vacant space and then helped me out of his truck. "Let's go princess! Ready to cry your eyes out?"

Shooing him away with the back of my hand, I walked into the auditorium and took a seat in the front row along with my brother. Crossing my legs, I tried my best to relax in the plastic chair and when I finally did, I turned my attention to the dimming lights and the opening curtains. Danni was beautiful on stage and I was so proud to be her friend. Knowing all that I did about her, I was surprised to see her acting so wonderfully. Towards the end of the play, I turned towards Nick and cocked an eyebrow when I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. "Are you freaking crying!"  
"N-no…I'm not!" Nick sobbed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. When the curtains closed, my excitement was boiling in the pit of my stomach, so I jumped up and run onto the stage and wrapped my arms around Danni, squeezing her tightly. "That was GREAT, Danni! You guys were amazing!"

When she thanked both, Nick and myself, my brother handed her the dozen of roses that we got for her before she hugged both of us. Sadly, she had to go back behind the stage and that gave me a chance to talk to Eli. The dance was tomorrow and he still didn't have the guts enough to ask her out.  
"Eli, I need to talk to you for a moment." I said, gesturing him to follow me. I didn't want the entire school, or Nick, hearing our conversation.  
"So, have you asked Danni out yet?" I whispered into his ear and then so got my answer when he shook his head 'no'. I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled it in a smooth motion before I hit him with the back of my hand. "Seriously? Are you serious?"

Eli rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and started to yell at me. "Would you shut up! There's no need to announce it to the whole world!" Shaking my head, I just couldn't believe that he was going to let Danni get away from him like that. If he only knew her feelings about him like I did, but then again, maybe it was best that he hadn't asked her out yet. He has to want to ask her to be his girlfriend because he wants her to be, not because of someone else. Finally giving up, I strode back over to my brother and got him to take me home. Once there, I decided to head to bed. Since the dance was tomorrow, I wanted to make sure that I looked my best.

The next morning, I woke up with the sorriest excise for bed-hair. I glanced over to my clock and saw that it was already noon. I couldn't believe that I slept in so late, but I decided that I would work on my hair before I did anything else. Searching through my vanity, I grabbed my brush and combed through my knotted hair and then reached for the bunch of rollers and placed them in my hair. In about three hours, my hair would have the correct amount of curls and would last for the entire night.

An hour before the dance, I changed into my dress and slid my feet into the matching shoes. I carefully spray small amounts of hairspray in my hair to keep the curls intact. Twirling in front of my large body mirror, I couldn't believe that I actually appeared like a princess. A small tap came from my door and when I opened it, there was Sav standing in a black tux with a white corsage. I couldn't believe that he was here…in my doorway. My prince-charming and the love of my life.

"Ready to go, my beautiful princess?" Sav asked, linking his arm with mine. I nodded as he walked me downstairs and then to his truck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me u, making sure that I was comfortable in my seat before he shut the door; and then he leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine. "You know, you are so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?" He then ran around the truck and hopped in and brought the engine to life, pulling away from the curb. We talked about the dance and our plans for afterwards, which was to come back to my house and get something decent to eat.

He pulled into a vacant spot in the Degrassi parking lot and helped me out of his truck. He reached for my hand and grasped it tightly before we proceeded towards school. When we reached the entrance, a teacher snapped a picture of us and then allowed us to go into the auditorium. Balloons hanging from the ceiling along with streamers, a large disco ball hanging from the center of the ceiling, and the entire room was decorated in some shape or form. Glancing around the room, I noticed that everyone that was arriving looked even more stunning than they have before. I made my rounds around the room, making sure that everything was in place.

Shortly afterwards, Danni entered the room with a beautiful flowing dress that made every great aspect about her to stand out. She gave Sav and me a stare like we were the prefect couple before she asked if we saw Eli. Of course, we never see him when we need to and before too long, she walked away. As more students entered the auditorium, the more my heart pounded. True enough, Sav was the Student Council President, but I was the one that constructed this dance and my reputation was riding on how well it goes.

Some of the students began to complain about the CD music so I went and found Danni and mentioned that whenever her band was ready they could perform. She gave me the go-ahead and I grabbed Sav by the hand and walked on stage. We each grabbed a microphone and announced Danni's band and then they began to rock it. It was nice to hear traditional Christmas songs with a live band and Danni and hers were excellent. About an hour later, Danni asked for a break, which I didn't blame her, and Sav put on some more modern music, giving the students a chance to cut loose with their dancing skills.

He strode across the dance floor and grabbed my hand and then swept me off of my feet. It was about time that we actually danced with each other tonight and I could feel the pit of my stomach churning. Moving along the floor, Sav lowered his mouth down to my ear and whispered the sweetest thing a girl could imagine. "You know Anneliese. Right now, you are my angel and my life. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."  
I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks; however, I finally choked out, "As do I!" I slowed my pace and came to a halt and that is when he stared down at me. His warm eyes looking down at my face made me feel special and like I was the center of his attention and world. I gave him a soft smile and pulled him closer against me. Standing on my tiptoes, I placed my mouth right under his ear so he could hear me when I whispered. "Sav, let's go somewhere."

Taken back, he took a step backwards and nodded, allowing me to lead the way. When I walked back to his truck, he didn't understand. After he helped me in, he went around to his side and shut the door. "Is there something that you want to discuss?" he asked, grabbing for my hand. I shook my head in denial and scooted closer to him. "No, quite the opposite. I want us to go somewhere. I want you, Sav. We've waited long enough."  
"A-are you sure?" He stammered. "We don't have to do anything now. We can wait."  
"I know, but I want you to make love to me, Sav. Unless, you don't want to."  
He gave me a warm smile before backing out of his spot, "What man would deny a stunning woman such as yourself?", and then drove to the nearest hotel. After checking in under a false name, Sav wrapped his arms around my waist and hoisted me upwards. He cradled me to his chest, his lips on mine as he walked into our room.

Feeling the sun rays peeking through the window blinds, I cracked one of my eyes open, only to see that I was alone. I jerked my body forward and didn't see Sav anywhere. Gripping the sheets against my naked body, I turned my head and noticed that there was a piece of paper resting on the nightstand beside the bed. Rolling over until I was arm length from the paper, I slid my fingers up underneath it. I glanced over it and the corners of my mouth lifted upwards into a bright smile.

My Dearest Love:

Last night was one of the best nights of my life. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up, but I had to get home because of my father. I hope I didn't disappoint you and I can't wait to see you later my love.

Love Always,  
Sav

Pulling the note closer to my chest, I continue to smile. I couldn't believe that I, Anneliese Tasker, had sex with Sav last night. Everything was so perfect and I didn't think anything could bring me down, well, not for a while at least. I crawled out of bed and got dress and headed for home. I decided that it would be better if I walked to get some fresh air instead of getting chewed out by Nick for being out all night or telling him that I was with Sav.

As I continued to walk, I cut my gaze over to The Dot and noticed something odd and that's when I stopped in my step and cocked an eyebrow. Right there, sitting in the window was Sav and he was with…Holly J. I didn't want to jump to any conclusions, but why in the hell was he with her? Holly J. pointed towards me and Sav exited The Dot and strode over to where I was at.  
"Anneliese…we need to talk…"  
My heart dropped when I heard him say those words and I had a very bad feeling about what was to come.  
"A-about what, Sav?"  
"…this isn't easy for me to say, but, we need to breakup." He said in a low voice as he glanced back over to Holly J.  
I arched my eyebrows upwards and sighed. "Wait a damn minute. You mean you are breaking up with me for her? That, bitch?"  
"Anne, calm down…"  
"Don't tell me what to do! How dare you? Was this all about having sex with me?" I yelled, regret eating away at my soul.  
"It's not like-"  
"Just shut up!"

I ran off, wiping the tears streaming down my face with the back of my hand. How could he do this to me. I meant every word I ever said to him; and for him to breakup with me for that…that…bitch! I continued to run and without looking where I was going, I ran straight into someone. With a thump, I landed on my butt.  
"Ow…"I said in pain as I rubbed my butt. "I'm so-"  
I couldn't believe it. There before me was the guy from my past. James. Apparently he loved to follow me and he did everything that he could to find me. "J-james, what are you doing here!"

With a small smirk, he slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans and said, "Well, for you of course. Why would I leave the love of my life alone? So how are things with that boyfriend of yours?" My anger started to boil in the pit of my stomach and all of my emotions were beyond control. "Just shut up!" I didn't want to hear anything about Sav or the word boyfriend, not after his betrayal. I smoothed my hands over my pants and headed home. I just wanted to be alone for a short while before I had to pack. I was still undecided if I was going to say goodbye to anyone beside Danni and the more I thought about it, I doubt I would. The sooner I could leave, the sooner I would forget the pain that _he_ had caused me.

I got home about thirty minutes later and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Nick opened the door and stared at me with wide eyes before he made his little comment. "Bad time with the boyfriend?"  
"Would you shut up? He dumped me after having sex with me, OK!" I cried as I ran upstairs for my room, slamming the door behind me. I collapsed on my bed, tears overflowing my cheeks. What did I do to deserve this? The only good thing was that we used a condom, so I didn't have to worry about STDs or an unexpected pregnancy.

I cried in my self-pity for about an hour before I hopped off of my bed and started to pack. This would be my last night in my room. I would miss Danni and my fond memories at Degrassi, but this would give me some time to cope about Sav. Once I Finished packing all of my belongings, I crawled into bed and went to sleep.

I woke up just in time for the last day of school, which surprisingly was on a Monday, and I walked the halls of Degrassi for the last time. All of the good times came rushing back and even some of the hardships. Rounding the corner, I saw Danni standing by her locker and that gave me the perfect opportunity to talk to her.  
"Hey Danni." I said, trying to hide the sadness in my voice. "I have to tell you something." She looked at me as if she knew something wasn't right but she never said anything. "Danni, I have to…this is my last day attending Degrassi and living here in Canada. I have to move to Washington with my aunt."  
"W-what? That's not fair! What about what you want?" She snapped.  
"It's OK. We will still be able to stay in contact with each other through Skype." I said, trying to reassure her that nothing, not even distance, would end our friendship.  
"When do you leave?"  
"Right after school. Scarlett allowed me to finish the school semester, but…yeah." I reached forward and grabbed her hands with mine. "You are my best friend and always will be. Just promise me that you will take good care of yourself, OK"

I quickly hugged her and headed to class. I tried to remain hopeful around her, but she could see straight through me. When the last bell ranged, she embraced me for the last time before I heard Scarlett beeping her car's horn. I pulled back from her embrace and wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. "Don't worry. I will be back. Just have a good Christmas Break."

I walked over to the car and then opened the door. I glanced over my shoulder one more time before I slid into the passenger's seat and Scarlett drove off. I stared out of the window for a while, but I soon fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was already night time and we still weren't close to Seattle. I didn't want to move but what would you do if you didn't have a choice. Drawing in a deep breath and then exhaling out, Scarlett glanced over to me and sucked her teeth.  
"Must you sigh? You should be grateful that I allowed you to finish the semester. I could have been a bitch and pulled you out the other day."  
"Yeah, I know. I'm just glad that you let me finish the term. So how much longer will it be until we get there?" I asked, flipping the AC vent upward.  
"Well, tomorrow around noon. It's about a 40 hour drive but of course I don't do the speed limit." She turned the wheel slightly to keep the car on the road and spoke again. "If you want, you can take another nap and I will wake you up once we get there."  
I nodded my head and rested it on the headrest and closed my eyes, unable to believe that she was being nice to me for a change.

The next time I opened my eyes was when the car came to a halt outside of Scarlett's home. Opening the door, I swung my legs over and stepped out, my eyes never leaving it. It was different than any place that I have ever lived before, but then again, it was only a single story. Grabbing my bags out of the trunk, I followed behind my aunt to the door. When she unlocked it, she gestured for me to go first and when I took a step inside, I just couldn't believe it. Unlike what I pictured, her house was quite fashionable.  
"Anneliese, make yourself a home." Scarlett said, hanging her coat on the rack beside the door. "Your room will be down the hall and the second door on the right. Unfortunately, you have to share a room with April. Try to be nice."

Walking down the hall, I found what would be my new room for the next six months. Opening the door, I saw a small bed on the left side of the room with an air mattress on the opposite side. There was a three drawer cherry oak dresser with a matching mirror; and then there was a desk that had a computer and a printer on it with some writing utensils lying against the mouse. With a heavy sigh, I took two steps in before I was shoved to the side. April snorted and then plopped down in the computer chair, turning on the monitor. "Try not touching any of my belongings, OK?"

Laying my bags on the air mattresses, I headed for outside to walk around for a bit. Apparently, Scarlett lived in the middle of town, so getting from place to place wouldn't be too difficult. Shoving my hands into my jean pockets, I looked around my new surroundings, trying to get used to everything. About two blocks away, I wandered into a park and sat down on the nearest bench. I crossed my legs and then clasped my hands over my knees. Taking in a deep breath and then exhaling out slowly, I closed my eyes for a mere second, that is, until a dark shadow covered my eyelids. I cracked my eyes open and then allowed them to fully open to see a guy standing in front of me. He had fluffy, dark brown hair with warm, brown eyes and he was about 5'11 in height.

He had a grin upon his face and in all honesty, it took me by surprise. He was definitely a type of guy that I would date, but I didn't think that I would be ready for another relationship for a very long time. Sitting down beside me, he smoothed his hands over his jeans as he glanced over to me.  
" So why is a beautiful girl like yourself alone out here?" he asked with a slight accent. Cutting my eyes at him, the corners of my mouth lifted upwards as I brought my hands into my lap. "Well, maybe you could accompany me?"  
"I would love that, but my dear fair maiden, I will soon have to leave you and return back to work." He drew in a deep breath and then got to his feet, bowing his head. "If you are interested in books, come to the Browns' Bookstore. It's about a block from here."

A faint smile was upon my face as I watched him walk down the street. The wind blew, the breeze feeling refreshing against my flesh and then I looked upwards to the sky. Analyzing the clouds, I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to check out the bookstore. Getting to my feet, I smoothed my hands against my legs and headed towards the store. Standing outside, my gaze lowered and I took note that it was a well-made building. I laid my fingertips against the door, feeling the texture of the wood before reaching for the doorknob and turned it clockwise, taking a step into the building. From top to bottom, books flooded the room only with a few tables and chairs in the corners. When I was looking around, an older gentleman approached me, dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a light tan shirt. He reached up and stroked his mustache before he spoke in a soft voice.

"Excuse me, Miss, is there anything I can assist you with?"  
I opened my mouth to speak but closed it quickly when I was interrupted by the guy from the park. "Well hello there, beautiful! I see you came to see me!"  
Taken back by his statement, I shook my head and said, "No, I like books. I love to read and you mentioned that you worked at a bookstore."

There was no way I would admit that I followed him to his place of work. That would be considered being a stalker. The older gentleman chuckled and then patted his employee on his back before tending to the customers at the cash register. The guy gave me his undivided attention and gave me a soft smile. "Anything I could get for you? Twilight perhaps?"

I shot him a glare and snorted. "Um…no. I like books by Maya Banks. Do you happen to have any by her?"  
Moving over to a shelf that was marked 'Romance' and he then started to search until he grabbed one, revealing the cover to me. "This is the only one we have in stock right now." He glanced down at the cover, his eyebrows arching from seeing the woman in lingerie. "You enjoy reading sex books, huh?"

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, avoiding any eye contact. "I-it's not like that. She has her characters go through so much and it just interesting how they triumph over it."  
He laughed louder, hiding his mouth with the back of his hand. He returned the book in its proper place and faced me once more. "So, I was wondering if this lovely lady before me has a name?"  
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and then cleared my throat. "It's Anneliese." My face felt like it was on fire. Even though I just got out of a relationship with Sav, there was something about this guy that just drew me to him. He slid his hand over mine and brought it up to his lips, kissing it softly. "Well my dear Anneliese, it is an honor to meet you." He released my hand and then straightens his stance once again, "My name is Blake, if you were wondering."

"Well Blake, it's nice to meet you as well." I said, bracing my back against the shelf. He step closer, only leaving about an inch between our bodies, and he then lowered his gaze. "I hate to be forward, but would you like to go on a date once I get off of work?"  
Pressing my back harder against the shelf, I bit my bottom lip and sighed heavily. "Sorry. I just go out of a relationship and I don't think it would be best, right now." He stepped backwards, smoothing a hand over his hair. "It's OK. I understand."

A part of me crashed when I saw his smile drop. I didn't mean it personally but there was no point going into the details. I walked over to the door and said my goodbyes and headed for home. I figured it was about time to face the family and hope they would accept me. Once I got home, Scarlett was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, while April was in the living room, texting on her phone. Disgusted, I asked Scarlett if she needed any help, but she denied, so I went to my room. Though I would be sharing it with April and had strict orders not to touching any of her belongings, I didn't think she would mind if I entered it without her being in there. I collapsed on the air mattresses and closed my eyes for a moment and soon fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up quite early. I swung my legs over the bed and noticed that April was already gone. I reached for my phone and saw that it was 7AM. I dialed Nicholas' number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello" came through the receiver.  
"Hey Nick! It's Anne!"  
"Good morning! How is it over there? Hell?"  
"Very funny! But it's OK right now. I just wanted you to know that I made it here safely and I didn't want you to worry about me."  
"Well, too bad. I will worry about my baby sister." His voice echoed with a slight sense of worry mixed in it. "Do you think I could come visits you?"  
"Of course. Well, I don't mean to rush off, but I need to go. I love you bro!"

I slammed my phone shut and headed to the bathroom. I hopped in the shower and when I was done, I got dressed and ran my fingers through my hair while I returned to my room. Sitting down on the bed, I reached for my backpack that carried my laptop and took it out. Resting it on the bed, I turned it on and waited for it to boot up. I clicked on Skype to see if Danni was online and thankfully she was. I clicked on her icon and waited for the IM to pull up and once it did I requested a video chat so we could see each other. True enough, it had only be a day or two seen we last saw each other, but we were best friends and it killed me to be away from her. When she accepted my request, there was a huge grin upon both of our faces.  
"Hey girl! How are you and how is Grams?" I said, tilting the screen of my laptop so I could see her better.  
"Hey you! Things are going alright...you know, complicated like usual. Grams is good. Mostly she worries about me. I try to tell her I'm fine but you know how she is. How about you, how are things on your end?"  
"I'm glad that things are OK. Things have been interesting over here. I have to share a room with April. So what are two going to do for Christmas?"  
"For Christmas, me and Grams are just having dinner together." She said as she moved her laptop from her lap and placed it on the bed. "She wants us to go to a church service so we'll probably do that on Christmas Eve."  
I moved my touchpad and hovered the pointer over the clock and then doubled click, noticing that Christmas Eve was the next day."Um…Danni, Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Do they have Church on Thursdays?"  
"Nah, we don't really go to church anyway. But the one Grams goes to with her co-worker is having a candle-light service at seven, and it shouldn't last but thirty minutes or so. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm going to be comfortable going, but it's really important to her that we spend the time together."  
"Well if you do go, have fun. So…" I flashed a grin and then tapped my fingers on the keyboard. "How are things with Eli and Connor?"  
She shook her head and then exhaled in aggravation. "Ugh, can we not mention Eli? Things with Connor are fine but I SWEAR Eli drives me insane!"  
I covered my mouth to hide the fact that I was laughing really hard. "Guys…did you hear that Sav and I broke up?"  
"Yeah, he told me. I tried to call you the other day, but your phone went straight to voicemail."  
"Yeah…"I sighed, rubbing my elbow with my hand. "I wasn't in a good place. It seemed like things were so perfect between us and then he just broke up with me for Holly J. I don't like talking about it…anyway…to change the subject, guess who is up here with us?"  
"Let me guess; Nick? Haha, how's he doing by the way?"  
"Nick is doing OK, but he's not the one that is up here." I husked and then got to my feet, positioning the webcam so she could see me. "James!" She didn't say anything, just dropped her bottom jaw. "I know right! Apparently, James and John are best friends!"  
"Well, have I mentioned I miss you like CRAZY?"  
"I've missed you too Danni! I hate to cut it short, but I have to go."  
"Get your butt back here to visit soon!"

I clicked on the 'end' button and closed the lid, grabbing a pair of jeans and a tank-top out of my bag. After changing, I picked up my laptop and laid it on table when a knock came from the door. "Come on in!" I yelled over my shoulder and when I heard the door creak open, there stood my cousin John.  
"Hey Anneliese, I was wondering if you would like me to show you around town? I'm showing James around later today and I figured I could show you too. Kill two birds with one stone."  
I thought about it for a moment and then shrugged my shoulders, coming to my conclusion. "Sure. Why not? What time are you leaving?"  
"Five. Meet us in the living room." He turned and headed back to his room.

I glanced over to the clock hanging on the wall and was surprise that it was already one in the afternoon. I was on the computer with Danni for about four hours and it seemed like it was only an hour. Tilting my head upwards, I stared at the ceiling, hating the fact that I would be spending Christmas with a bunch of people that either hated me or didn't truly know me.

Four hours later, I walked towards the living room and saw James and John sitting on the couch. When they noticed me, they stood to their feet and headed for the door. Opening the door, John gestured for me to go through and allowed James to follow before he attempted to. Closing the door behind him, as a group we headed to town. While getting my tour, it was interesting how James didn't even glimpse my way. For once, it felt normal being around him, and I actually enjoyed the time I spent with him. Maybe things would get better between us and we could move on in life and be friends. The two guys rounded the corner and started to walk down an alley, however, something deep inside me told me to not go. "Um, I think I will sit this one out."  
Both of the guys turned their heads back towards me and John whispered, "What's wrong Anne? Afraid of an alley? Trust me, there's nothing here to harm you. Besides, you have James and myself to protect you. It's just a shortcut unless you want to walk a useless twenty minute walk?"

"Fine, I'll go."  
I fell into step and followed closer behind the two guys, until I walked in front of them and that is when everything went black.

Feeling a sharp pain throbbing from my wrist, my eyes flashed open as I rolled my head from side-to-side. When my vision returned, I tried to jerk my arms forward but I noticed that they were restrained by chains. I focused my gaze downwards and saw that I was chained to a table with blood oozing out of my biceps. Black spots danced before my eyes and I could tell that I had already lost too much blood. Question was why would anyone do such a horrible thing to me? The spots started to fade and a shadow that was lingering around finally came into focus. It was James, standing about a foot away with a needle in his hand. Behind him stood John and what surprised me more than anything was that he had a video recorder. _Was he recording this?_ I thought to myself.

James took a step closer towards me and jabbed my forearm with the point, ripping it downward. I let out a scream as I tried to jerk my arm loose, but I soon found out that my bonds only grew tighter. He gave me a smirk before he lunged forward stabbing me again but this time in the shoulder. Tears streamed down my cheeks with each repetitive strike, followed by loud, agonizing screams.  
"What's wrong bitch? Don't like our game?" James asked as he moved down to my knees and resting a hand against it.  
"W-why are you doing this! P-please let me go!" I pleaded, bracing my back against the hard surface underneath me. All of a sudden, James quickly raised his hand and thrust it forward, piercing my flesh with the needle. Digging the needle deeper in my skin, I exhaled all of the air in my lungs, forcing my body to heave forward.  
"You bastard!" I snapped, allowing my body to relax a little before he slammed a hand against my cheek. Cutting my eyes at his withdrawing hand, blood filled the bottom of my jaw from where my teeth bared down on my gums. Gathering spit and blood, I puckered my lips together, concentrating my aim at the poor excuse of a man before me and then released the substance with what little force I had left.

"How dare you film this for your damn enjoyment!" I said, narrowing my eyes. I was pissed off now and wanted him to realize what the hell he was doing.  
"Please Anneliese. If it was for my enjoyment, I would have had my way with you." He said, stroking his chin. "Matter of fact, I think I will." Glancing over his shoulder, he gestured for John to come closer. "Make sure you get a close-up on this. Dear Anneliese here, will be mine tonight. I will claim you as mine before any other man has an opportunity to."  
"Don't you touch me!" I exclaimed, jerking my head forward, and then narrowed my eyes. "Besides, you already lost that chance! You bastard!"

James hues dilated and that is when things went from bad to worse. He jumped on the table and bared his knees into my abdomen, applying more pressure with each passing moment. "What was that bitch! Don't tell me that you fucked that pathetic boyfriend of yours just after three months when you wouldn't with me!" Unable to breath, I gasped for air but it was useless. I could feel his hands sliding down my thighs to pelvic region and I could feel him fumbling with the button of my jeans. I squirm, trying to knock him off of me, but that only made him even madder. He folded his fingers inward into a tight fist and then aimed it at my head, knocking me out cold.

Jerking my body forward, drenched in sweat, I flared my nostrils trying to filter as much air as possible. I raised my hand up, raking it over my tired face before sighing heavily. Applying small amounts of pressure, I smoothed my hand over my hair, tucking a few strands behind my ear. I glanced over to the right and then the left, noticing that I was back in my room in Canada. "But…how did I get here?" I mumbled to myself, unsure what the hell happened.

A small knock came from my door before it creaked open and there in the doorway was Nicholas. Tray in hand, he walked in and sat down on the edge of my bed, showing a soft smile, "Good morning sleepy head!"  
Sliding a hand over the top of my head allowing the strands to slip through my fingers, I took in a deep breath and then exhaled it in a smooth motion. "Nick, what happened to me?"  
"Here, take this. I cooked you some breakfast." He said, handing over the tray of food. "I hope you're hungry."  
Grabbing the tray with both hands, I placed it in my lap before I glanced back over to my brother. "What day is it?"  
"Um…Saturday" he mumbled under his breath.  
"S-Saturday! I've been asleep for two days!" I gasped, bending my knees slightly and almost knocking the tray off of my lap. Jumping up, Nick grabbed for my shoulders and pushed my backwards. "Anne, calm down! You needed rest and I made sure no one bothered you! Just take a deep breath and breathe." He pulled his hands back and sat back down on the edge of the bed. My hands began to shake and I could feel fear overtaking me. "What the hell happened to me, Nick!"

"I'm not for sure, exactly." He whispered as he shifted his position on the bed. "When I arrived in Washington to surprise you, Scarlett told me that James and John took you out to show you around. I found out a possible way they would have taken you and I finally found you." He closed his mouth and stood to his feet. It seemed like he was hiding something. "And!" I snapped, getting tired of this game of cat and mouse for information.  
"When I found you, they had you bounded to a table and James was trying to…rape you." He husked as he banged his fist on my dresser. I arched both of my eyebrows from his statement and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my cheeks. What the hell did I do to deserve such foul treatment?

Nick sucked in a deep breath and then exhaled it slowly before he continued. "I lost it and I charged them, grabbing that bastard off of you. I punched him in the face multiple times and when I looked back up, John was gone. I unchained you and carried you to a hospital and then contacted the police. Once I filed a report, I made sure you were OK, and then I went back to Scarlett's house. I demanded to see that asshole and nearly killed him. The only thing that stopped me was the police. Both of those bastards are in jail."  
A sense of relief overwhelmed me but I still had a piece of me that ate away at my soul. "So…did they?"  
He shook his head, "No, they didn't. You were still fully clothed. I made sure both of them paid for what they did to you!"

The tears continue to fall but for the sake of my brother, I forced a smile to my face. "I'm just so glad that I have such an amazing brother like you Nick."  
Glancing down at the tray once again, I decided to show my appreciation, I would eat. Picking up the folk, I swooped up a folkful of food and eased it to my mouth. From the aroma of the food, my nostrils flared and a warm sensation flowed throughout my veins. I shoved the tray forward and jumped to my feet, rushing to the bathroom. Hovering over the toilet, I felt vomit enter my mouth and then into the water below. My stomach churned and pinched causing only more vomit to form in the pit of my stomach. I felt hands wrap around my hair and pulled it out of the way and heard Nicholas gag behind me.  
"Anne, are you OK?" he asked, trying to hide the fact that he was getting sick himself. "Maybe you should go to the doctor?"

I gestured with my hand for him to drop it and then I slowly sat up. I didn't want to take any chances puking on the floor so I just sat at the base of the toilet for a few more minutes. Bracing myself, I slowly got to my feet and that is when Nick swooped his arms underneath me and carried me downstairs. "Nick, what are you doing?" I asked, squirming in his arms. "Put me down!"

"No. I'm taking you to the doctor. You haven't been acting right for the past three days and I'm not risking your life." He said, grabbing his keys off of the bar and then headed for the truck. After helping me in and jumping in the driver seat, he cranked the engine to life and then backed out of the driveway. During the longest twenty minutes of my life, I bended over, rocking my torso back and forth to make sure that I did not vomit all over his dash. Thankfully, when he pulled into a parking spot and I was able to crack the door open for some fresh air. Wrapping his arms around me, he carried me into the hospital and demanded for someone to check me out. Shortly afterwards, I was placed into a wheelchair and was rolled into a room.

"OK, Miss Tasker," the nurse said as she reached for her chart, "Are you allergic to any medications or are you or have you ever been pregnant?"  
"No to both questions." I said, clasping my hands together, my nerves kicking in. I hated to go to doctors for anything and here I am, being checked out like some three year old. Once the nurse wrote down the information, she turned her focus back over to me and then placed the chart on the counter. She then checked my vitals and recorded them before walking out of the room. While she was gone, I started to swing my legs back and forth to help calm my nerves but it was pointless. Feeling sick again, I jumped up and grabbed the trash can, just in case I threw up. Whatever was going on with me, I really wish it would hurry up and get out of my system. The nurse came back in and helped me back over to my seat so she could take a CBC.

"OK, Miss Tasker. I'm going to take some blood to see what exactly is going on." She said cleaned an area off on my arm before she stuck the needle in. Drawing a few tubes of blood, she pulled the needle out and placed a Band-Aid on the area and left. Glancing over to Nick, I shot him a I-can't-believe-you-made-me-come-here look and he mouthed that he was sorry. I knew that he was concerned for me and he treated me like an actual sister, but he was jumping the gun. I was perfectly fine besides a little stomach bug. Biting down on my bottom lip, thoughts of James and John drugging me flowed through my mind. What if they actually drugged me so they could rape me? Beads of sweat formed on my forehead but I soon wiped them away with the back of my hand. The nurse returned in about twenty minutes, only because Nick threatened her to hurry up, with my results and she didn't look completely happy.

"Miss Tasker, the doctor will be in, in a few minutes. I will let her explain everything to you." She said before leaving once again. Upon her exit, a woman dressed in a formal attired and a long white coat entered and sat down across from me. As the woman looked over my chart, I couldn't help but stare at her. She appeared to be in her late thirty's and she chose to wear her hair in a bun. The woman cleared her throat which brought my attention back to reality.

"Miss Tasker, my name is Doctor Smithe." She said glancing up from my chart, "Have you experienced any other symptoms besides nausea?"  
"Not that I'm aware of. I had a lot of stuff happen the other day and rested for a while, but other than that, no. Why?"  
"Well, Miss Tasker…"She cut herself off and looked over to Nick, "Sir, would you please go in the waiting room so I could talk to her alone?"  
Nick was hesitant about leaving but he got to his feet and walked out of the door. When the door was shut, Doctor Smithe gazed back over to me and clasped her hands together.

"Miss Tasker, have you missed any of your periods or experienced any tenderness within your breasts?"  
With all of these questions, I shifted my position in my seat before I crossed my legs. "No…why are you asking me all of these weird questions? You make it sound as if I am pregnant."  
"That's exactly what I am saying. You are only a few days, maybe a week or two along, but you are indeed pregnant."  
"That can't be!" I snapped, slamming my palms down on my thighs. "I only had sex one time!"  
"One time is all it takes. Unprotected s-"  
"No, you listen here!" I said, cutting her off, "I had protected sex. We used a condom! So how in the hell can I be pregnant!"  
"Did you make sure that the condom didn't bust?"  
"I…I don't think so. All I know is, we used a condom, made love and he removed it afterwards." I said, feeling the blood rushing to my face.  
"Sometimes it does happen. You are in the early stages of your pregnancy and you do have options. If you wish, you could have an abortion."  
During that moment, I could feel my eyes widening and my mouth drop. _Pregnant. I'm with child._ It was so much to take in. I knew that the test couldn't be wrong but I didn't understand how a protected sex could lead to me being pregnant. Thinking back, I remembered everything except if the condom was busted until something hit me. That night, Sav had refused for me to see it; maybe he hid the fact that it was busted.

"Um…" Doctor Smithe murmured. "Are you OK?"  
"I'm pregnant…"I said, covering my face in shame and embarrassment.  
"Miss Tasker, you do have options."  
Jerking my head up, I shot her a glare, "Are you kidding me? I'm not going to kill my baby. I will have it and raise it. My father would have wanted that."  
"OK. If that is your decision, take this." She said handing me a pamphlet. "Read over that. It's for teen mothers. Also, I wrote my number down at the bottom. If you need anything, please give me a call. I was a teen mother too."

She left, giving me enough time to get dressed. Nick came in with a surprised expression on his face. "Did I overhear that right? Are you pregnant?"  
I gave him a nod and he then wrapped his arms around me. I could tell that he was against it, but he kept his mouth shut.

Once we got home, he opened the door up for me and helped me inside. Though I was only a week or two along, he was treating me like I was about to give birth. I made my way over to the couch and sat down. I placed my hands between my knees and sighed. How was I going to go to school? Everyone would pick on me for getting knocked up in high school. I forced my back to sit up-right and I decided that I wouldn't tell anyone, including Danni, and I would try to live my life as normal as possible.

I went upstairs to go to bed and checked my email and saw that Danni was online. I quickly sighed off and hoped that she didn't notice that I was on. The last thing that I needed was for her to come by and find out that her best friend was pregnant.


	24. 21 Change in Life: Don't Show a Scene

For a few minutes I just stayed in the empty classroom, sitting on the floor in silence. I didn't cry, though tears threatened to fall any time. How could I have allowed myself to be played like that? Had Clare been here this whole time? Had Eli been lying to me from the start? Just the thought of those two brought back the scene to my mind, and I felt such a deep pain in my chest I thought that my heart must literally be breaking under my rib cage. It took every ounce of strength I had to keep my cool.

I never would have imagined that I could feel this kind of hurt over a boy. It was only then that I allowed myself to understand why; Somewhere along the way, I had fallen hard for my best friend. Eli Goldsworthy was the only boy I had ever trusted my heart to, and the moment it happened, I instantly regretted the decision. How could I have been so stupid?

It took a few minutes, but I finally forced myself up off the floor. I knew there was no reason to stick around, so I planned to sneak away while I had the chance. But fate seemed to have other plans I learned, as I opened the classroom door. Waiting on the opposite wall was Nicholas, dressed in a tux and tie. His arms were crossed, but when he saw me, he moved from the wall and looked down at me with concern.

"Why did you run off like that?" he asked, handing me my phone. I avoided looking at him, doing my best to hide my embarrassment from the situation. I could feel his eyes on me, and I knew if he was anything like Anneliese, he wouldn't break his gaze until I spilled my guts.

"That guy out there? He was the one Lise was talking about," I said, my voice cracking a bit as I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, I have to go." I turned to leave, but he grabbed me gently by the shoulder.

"Hold on a second." His voice was gentle, and I stopped walking. "You're really going to let that one guy stop you from having a good time with your friends? That doesn't sound like the Danni I know." I laughed once, softly. "You haven't known me long enough to be sure, now have you Nick?"

"I have a way of knowing people and their personalities," he retorted, stepping in front of me and tilting my chin up. "You're a special person Danni, and you deserve to be happy. That guy? For him to let someone like you go, it makes him an idiot in my book." Why Nick was being so nice to me, I would probably never figure out. But he continued, and what he said next made me realize just how right he could be at times.

"You can't let your life revolve around someone who doesn't appreciate all you give to them. Now the dance doesn't end for another hour, and you already did your part to make it amazing. So the way I see it, it's your turn to be happy." He smiled down at me, brushing a stray strand of hair from my cheek. "Go back to the dance. I'm more than sure someone who sees you for how amazing you are will be wanting a dance before the night's over."

It took a second, but I finally nodded, taking a deep breath. The only thing worse than going back would be not going back, and Nicholas was right. I deserved to have fun, and that was exactly what I planned to do.

"Thank you Nick," I said softly, smiling up at him. "For everything."

I walked past him then and back into the dance. Music played from a c.d. player, and everyone was dancing without a care in the world. I took the opportunity to grab a drink from the refreshment table and get myself together. Maybe the night wouldn't be a total waste after all.

I finished off the contents of my glass and sighed, as Adam walked up to the table. "Great set earlier Danni," He smiled, taking a glass of punch for himself. "I would have told you sooner but you disappeared." My mind flashed back to Eli and Clare once more, and my eyes fell back to the floor. Adam took notice, and looked over at me. "What happened?"

I just shook my head. After all, he would find out the news soon enough. For now, I was going to follow Nicholas' advice, and try to keep my mind off Eli. A familiar song began to play then; Yours to Hold by Skillet. I could feel a smile form on my lips as the music played. People pared off, and I laughed under my breath. "This is one of my favorite songs."

Adam looked at me then, extending his hand. "Well then, let's not waste it, huh?" I looked over at him, seeing a look in his eyes. It was familiar…was it hope? Or was I just imagining things? Probably the second thought. But I couldn't help smiling. Nicholas had been right. I took the change and put my hand in his, walking out to the dance floor with Adam looking about as nervous as I'd ever seen him.

With the way things had been, I thought the dance would have been awkward. But truthfully, it was nice. The two of us moved like one person, and I found the smile never left my face. Adam was a great dancer, and the more we moved together, the more relaxed he seemed to be.

The song ended all too soon, and a fast dance began to play. Adam and I moved back to the refreshment table, both of us seeming to be on the same page of our emotions. Bianca and Drew emerged out the crowd and made their way over to us. I caught a look Drew passed to Adam and he elbowed me. "So you ditched Goldsworthy for a Torres man? Well played, Colvin."

I knew Drew didn't mean anything by the comment, so I played it off, sticking my tongue out at him. "Bianca, how do you put up with his cockiness?" I laughed, and she shrugged. "He's good looking, that's about all I can say for that." Drew looked torn between being amused and insulted and I just grinned. "I think he'll take stunned speechless for two hundred, Alex."

But the subject was dropped, and Drew looked at Adam. "We're taking off. You guys wanna tag along?" Adam looked at me, and I nodded. I was up for anything about that time. I just wanted to have fun. "We're in," he said, and the four of us headed out. Eli and Clare weren't outside anymore, and that was just fine with me. I made the decision to leave him out of my life for now. I just didn't see myself trusting him, not for a while anyway. What was the point in trying to be someone's everything, when you were nothing to them from the start?

Most everywhere close to Degrassi was closed for the night, so we ended up back at the Torres house. After a brief introduction to his parents, Adam and I followed Bianca and Drew to the basement, where the boys and I got into a competition on the x-box playing Left for Dead. Bianca seemed less than amused, so eventually she and Drew took off, leaving Adam and myself alone to continue playing the game.

The zombie mob eventually destroyed both of us, and we turned off the console. "Well, I gotta say, I never thought I'd be playing zombie games in a formal dress," I grinned, looking over at him. "Thanks for inviting me over." He smiled back, nodding his head. "Anytime. Besides, it was better coming here with you than just Drew and Bianca. I love my brother, but he's so obsessed with dating that he forgets about me sometimes." I knew how much that could hurt. It made me think back to when I was a kid, and I thought my parents were more obsessed with fighting each other than devoting time to taking care of me. I didn't know how serious things were back then.

"Maybe Drew wants you to get a girlfriend so you guys can double date and hang out more? You know, to include both you and Bianca without it getting awkward on either part." I leaned back against the couch and put the controller back on the table. "He seemed pretty happy to hang out with us earlier." Adam looked down, chuckling a bit. "Probably because he saw me break out of my shell a little."

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking his way. At first he wouldn't look at me, but after a minute or two I spoke up again. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine." He turned to me again. "Well…can I be honest with you Danni?" I wasn't sure what he was getting at, but I nodded my head. "Sure."

"The truth is…I like you, Danni. A lot." I looked at him in silence, not sure what to say. "I know you and Eli have a thing, and I-" I cut him off. "Adam, Eli and I aren't together. We never were." Bitterness filled my chest then, and I looked to the floor. "I saw him earlier tonight, with Clare."

"Clare? I thought she was in England." He sounded as confused as I felt. "I thought so too. But I saw her, and Eli, and it was like nothing ever changed. That's why I was alone at the dance." I looked back at him then, biting back my anger. "So if it was him you were worried about, don't be."

It took a moment for things to sink in on both parts, and he continued. "Would it be weird if…maybe sometime, you and me get a cup of coffee or something? It wouldn't have to be a date or anything." But I could see it in his face, that he was hoping it would be just that. I didn't know what to say at first.

Part of me was thinking about the friendship I had with Adam. He was a great person, and though we weren't as close as I had been with Eli, we could be. Another part of me worried that if we did go out, and ended up being more than just friends, we might lose that friendship if things didn't work out for us. I wasn't sure I could handle losing another friend, especially when it came to feelings being involved.

"Sounds like a plan to me," I told him with a smile. For now, I told myself, I wouldn't look at it as dating. Just hanging with a friend. And if feelings emerged, then I would worry about it then. For now, I was just happy to see him smile.

I stayed over for a bit longer, Adam and I watching part of an old made for tv movie before I saw the time. It was getting late, and I knew I needed to head home before Grams worried. Adam walked me to the front door and we stood on the front steps for a moment. "I had a lot of fun tonight," I told him with a smile. He returned it and took my hand in his for a moment. "I'm glad, I did too. See you tomorrow?" I nodded and squeezed his hand gently, before heading to my car parked in the driveway.

The drive home was quiet, and I refused to allow myself to think about anything but going home to rest. I passed out almost the moment my head hit the pillow, surprisingly enough. I spent the next day at the hospital while more tests were run. The last ones taken just days before had come back inconclusive and my doctor assumed they had been accidentally contaminated somehow.

While in the hospital, I contemplated calling Anneliese to see how she was doing. I didn't get much time to talk to her at the dance the night before, and I was curious to see how the night had gone for her. But I decided it was best to try and relax for the day, and let her do the same. Besides, we had all of Christmas break to hang out. And maybe she could help me figure out the whole Adam situation. I was still unsure what to make of it, even though I came to terms with my decision to give it a try.

After my treatments and tests were over, I headed back for home. The last day of school before Christmas Break was the next day, and I just wanted it to come and go. Mostly to continue avoiding Eli, and now Clare. As I lay in bed that night, I finally allowed myself to think about things. I instantly regretted the decision as the pain from before flowed back over me. It was only in the dead of night that I allowed myself to cry over how much it hurt.

I didn't get much rest that night, and the next morning I returned to the halls of Degrassi with dark circles and red eyes from lack of sleep. But no one took notice as I made my way to my locker. I was stuffing my things into my shoulder bag when I heard Anneliese behind me. "Hey Danni. I need to tell you something."

I looked up immediately. I knew something was wrong, just in the way she spoke to me. "Danni, I have to…this is my last day attending Degrassi and living here in Canada. I have to move to Washington with my aunt." I gasped, shocked at her confession. I never thought what was going to become of her with her father's passing and her mother not capable of caring for her.

"W-what?! That's not fair!" I exclaimed, not wanting my best friend to be taken away from me. "What about what you want?" I knew Nicholas was more than capable of taking care of her, and she would probably much rather stay with him than her aunt.

She tried to smile at me, but I could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke. "It's ok. We will still be able to stay in contact with each other through Skype." I nodded, doing my best to be strong for her. "When do you leave?"

"Right after school. Scarlett allowed me to finish the school semester, but…yeah." She seemed all too reluctant to speak about her aunt. I couldn't blame her, if she was forcing her to leave. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It felt as though my throat had closed up. She took my hands in hers, and gave me a serious look. "You are my best friend and always will be." She gently squeezed my hands and tried to smile. "Just promise me that you will take good care of yourself, ok?" She pulled me into a hug and I nodded against her shoulder, biting my lip to keep from breaking down right there in the hallway.

We parted as the bell rang, and as the day passed, it went far too quickly. Before I knew it, I found myself standing outside Degrassi embracing Anneliese for the last time. A car horn began to blare then, and she pulled away from me. We both wiped tears from our eyes as she said her final goodbye. "Don't worry, I will be back. Just have a good Christmas Break."

Before I could say anything, she was gone, and I was left alone to do nothing but wave until the car was out of sight. I sat down on the steps for a few minutes, getting myself together. I lost my two best friends in less than 24 hours. It had to be some kind of sick, twisted record in the track of life. Sometimes I hated how life worked out, and this was defiantly at the top of the list now.

I finally headed to the parking lot to get into my car, and had to duck my head as I saw the hearse. Eli was leaning next to it with Clare under his arm, and it took all I had to keep my cool. Especially when Eli looked my way and Clare as well. He had a straight face, but she seemed to have almost…something between a smirk and an all knowing look. Almost like she knew something I didn't, and it made me sick to my stomach.

But the look was gone almost as soon as it had come, and it was replaced with a smile. "Hi Danni," she said. "Any chance your band's going to be playing anytime soon? I was hoping to catch you guys play at the dance Saturday, but my plane was late getting in."

"Probably not for a while," I told her, doing my best to keep venom out of my voice. "Sorry you missed it. I didn't even know you were back in town." She looked back at Eli then over to me. "It was meant to be a surprise. I was thinking about just coming back to visit for Christmas break, but with how things are looking, I might just transfer back to Degrassi for good."

"Great," I said, forcing myself to smile. "Well, it was nice seeing you again Clare. Have a nice Christmas break." And with that, I got into my car, blasting music as I got out of the parking lot. But against my better judgment, I looked into the rearview mirror, to see Eli looking in my direction. I thought I saw a look in his eyes, something between guilt and anger, but my sight became blurry as tears began to build.

I focused on the music playing to keep my emotions at bay. I knew it wasn't good to keep things bottled up like this, but what choice did I have? I had no one to talk to, and I surely wasn't paying a ton of money to go to a shrink just to be told I have a lot of feelings that were normal for teenage girls.

I decided to head to The Dot for a cup of hot chocolate and a sandwich before going home. I tried to call Adam to see if he wanted to meet up, but there was no answer. I pulled into a parking spot and took my ipod out my bag, heading inside as I pulled my coat tighter around me. Surprisingly it was fairly empty in the shop, but I did spy a familiar face in the back corner.

I walked to the table and looked down at Sav. "Got room for one more?" He looked up, his eyes kind of spaced out like he'd been in deep thought, and nodded. "Glad to see a friendly face, for once," he replied as I took the seat across from him. A waitress came over and I gave her my order, then turned back to Sav. "I guess you're about as upset as I am, huh? About Lise leaving and all."

A guilty look fell on his face, and he looked down into his coffee mug. "Well…she and I broke up, Danni. Yesterday morning." I couldn't believe it. They had been such a good couple, and from the way things looked, it was though they didn't have a care in the world but for each other. So it was quite literally a shock when the news came to me. What made it even more so was the fact that Anneliese hadn't said a word about it.

"Well…" I didn't know what to say. "That sucks. I'm sorry, Sav." He shrugged. "Things happen. There's not much else to say about it other than that." The bell above the door rang, and almost in an instant, Holly J was standing at the table. "Get lost Colvin," she snarled, and I cut my eyes at her. "What, did the police impound your broom for illegal parking? Take a hike."

She looked insulted, but her expression changed in a flat second to a smirk. "I know you're a desperate little prick, but how about find your own boyfriend instead of sitting with mine?" My stomach lurched as she said those words, and I looked over at Sav. The guilty look in his eye said it all, and suddenly I lost my appetite. "I was just leaving anyway. Later Bhandari."

I stormed out of the restaurant, now pissed off. This day had been nothing but misery. Anneliese was probably halfway to Washington by now, and Sav had already moved on to someone else. 'What else could possibly go wrong?' I asked myself as I got into my car once more, taking off for home. The first thing I tried to do was call Anneliese, but the call went straight to voicemail. I didn't bother to leave a message, knowing she was probably having a tough time with her aunt and cousins if she was already in Washington.

After a hot bath and taking my medication, I ended up falling asleep. But I was plagued with nightmares, one in particular kept reoccurring. An angelic figure with dark hair kept appearing, and every time I reached out for him, he screeched and turned into a demon like figure, reaching out to rip my heart out. I woke up several times in a cold sweat, clutching my pillow as I tried to calm myself down. I finally fell into a peaceful sleep around four in the morning, and managed to get a few hours in before forcing myself to get out of bed. Christmas was only three days away and I still had shopping to do.

The mall was packed, but I managed to get most of the things I needed. A new sterling silver picture frame for Grams, which she had pointed out during the summer. For Adam a new x-box game that he had been talking about the night after the dance. And for Anneliese, an Alex Band CD and a framed picture of the two of us with our arms around each other's shoulders. I knew the presents were nothing extravagant, but I hoped everyone liked them.

As I passed Hot Topic, I couldn't help but think of the first day I met Eli. It seemed so long ago now, how we laughed and just enjoyed each other's company. Almost like we'd known each other forever…and now it was like we were nothing at all. But it wasn't something I could change, not at the moment anyway. Things had to work themselves out, one way or the other.

I went into the Hallmark store last, getting my last gifts there. Two angel statues, one of a child and one of a grown woman. I asked the clerk to wrap them in gift wrap and paid the fee before finally heading for home. Christmas day I had a trip planned out, to go out to New York. It was where I was born, and where my mother and brother were both buried. I had already discussed going with Grams, who was reluctant to have me drive so far on my own. But I eventually convinced her, though she was still uncomfortable with the idea.

That night was spent wrapping my gifts and filling out Christmas cards, and making plans for my drive out to New York. I didn't know if I could handle it on my own, but what choice did I have otherwise? There was no one else to go with me. I couldn't ask Grams to go, as she was helping her co-worker at a soup kitchen that day. And I was sure Adam was going to be celebrating the holidays with his family. I had originally planned to see if Anneliese and Eli would go with me, and maybe Sav as well. But that plan fell though the floor, and it was just me left to go on my own.

I ended up asleep on the floor that night, waking in a pile of Christmas paper around eight the next morning. I was sore, so I ran a hot shower and relaxed under the water until my muscles returned to normal. Once I felt back to normal, I got out and began to dry off. I began to notice my drop in weight as I pulled on an old pair of jeans and t-shirt. Both hung sort of loose on me, when just two months ago they fit perfectly. This wasn't unusual, seeing as the medicine I was taking had weight loss as a side effect. But if it kept up, I was afraid someone would catch on that I wasn't feeling like my old self.

I decided to take my mind off it and play on my laptop for a bit. Drying my hair with a towel I started up my laptop, and not two minutes after it loaded a video call came through on my Skype account. Looking at the contact information, I immediately accepted when I saw it was Anneliese. I had a huge grin on my face when the window opened. It had felt like forever since we talked, though it had only been two days. But she was my best friend and it killed me that she was so far away.

"Hey girl!" She exclaimed, tilting her computer screen. "How are you, and how's Grams?"  
I waved, grinning from ear to ear. "Hey you! Things are going alright...you know, complicated like usual." I shrugged a bit before continuing. "Grams is good. Mostly she worries about me. I try to tell her I'm fine but you know how she is. How about you, how are things on your end?"

"I'm glad that things are OK. Things have been interesting over here. I have to share a room with April." She looked less than enthusiastic about having to share a room, and I nodded in sympathy before she continued. "So what are two going to do for Christmas?" I decided against telling her about my trip to New York, and just went with the plan for Christmas Eve instead. "For Christmas, me and Grams are just having dinner together." I moved my laptop from my desk to the bed, sitting down and tilting the screen up a bit. "She wants us to go to a church service so we'll probably do that on Christmas Eve."

Anneliese had a confused look on her face, as she studied something on her screen then looked back up at me. "Um…Danni, Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Do they have Church on Thursdays?"

I shook my head, "Nah, we don't really go to church anyway. But the one Grams goes to with her co-worker is having a candle-light service at seven, and it shouldn't last but thirty minutes or so." I sighed a bit as I continued, thinking about the service. It wasn't that I minded going, but I hadn't been to a church in so long, I didn't know how it was going to go. "To be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm going to be comfortable going, but it's really important to her that we spend the time together."

"Well if you do go, have fun. So…" She flashed me a grin then, and I could only guess where this part of the conversation was going. "How are things with Eli and Connor?"

And there it was. I didn't really want to talk about Eli, so I played it off. "Ugh, can we not mention Eli? Things with Connor are fine but I SWEAR Eli drives me insane!" That much was true enough. I decided to tell her about what happened at the dance another time, when we could be face to face in person.

She covered her mouth, but I knew she was laughing at my statement. If only she knew the truth about just how much Eli drove me crazy. She got herself back together then and continued on. "Guys…did you hear that Sav and I broke up?"  
I nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, he told me. I tried to call you the other day, but your phone went straight to voicemail."

"Yeah…" She looked so unhappy, and I knew the break up had to have been hard on her. "I wasn't in a good place. It seemed like things were so perfect between us and then he just broke up with me for Holly J."

So she did know what happened. At least we were on the same page there. "I don't like talking about it…anyway…to change the subject, guess who is up here with us?"

I laughed a bit. "Let me guess; Nick? Haha, how's he doing by the way?"

"Nick is doing OK, but he's not the one that is up here." She got up then, picking up her laptop and moving it to where she was in full view. "James!" I didn't know what to say. All I could manage to do was let my bottom jaw drop, and keep all the things I was wanting to call him in my head. Anneliese seemed to understand my reaction, and threw her hands up in the air. "I know right! Apparently, James and John are best friends!"

I forced myself to change the subject. If I had to think of the fact that James was there, it was a high possibility that I'd throw up from disgust. "Well, have I mentioned I miss you like CRAZY?" She grinned into the camera before finishing off our conversation. "I've missed you too Danni! I hate to cut it short, but I have to go."

I waved at her, grinning. "Get your butt back here to visit soon!" The video screen closed out and I sighed, feeling slightly better now that we got a chance to talk. I took a look at my cellphone and saw that four hours had already passed while we were chatting. It only felt like an hour at the most, but the day was already halfway over. I took Grams present downstairs and put it beneath the tree as my cell began to ring. The caller id read off Adam's number, so I picked up with a smile.

"Hey Torres!" I grinned into the receiver. "Happy early Christmas." On the other end, I could hear other voices before he began to speak. "Hey Danni. Are you busy?"

"Not really. I just got done wrapping Christmas gifts. Why, what's up?" I made my way back up to my room as he spoke into the phone. "My family's having their Christmas get together, but…well, my grandmother's over, and my mom's back on the Gracie kick. Could we go somewhere?"

I sighed, not understanding how his mother could make him act like the person he wasn't. "I'll come pick you up. I know just the place we can go." He agreed to meet me in his yard in twenty minutes, and I left a note for Grams before heading out. Snow was beginning to blanket the ground, making the drive peaceful in its own way.

Adam was waiting out in his yard as I pulled up, and I turned up the heat when I saw him shivering as he got into the car. He had a jacket pulled over his outfit, but I could tell it was something outside of his normal attire. "Thanks for getting me out of there," he said, teeth chattering a bit.

"Were you out in the cold this whole time?" I asked in concern, and he nodded. "I couldn't stay in there. Not with the way they were making me feel." He then began to explain how his grandmother still didn't know about his situation with being Transgender, and how his mother acted ashamed of him for wanting to act like a boy rather than her daughter. I gritted my teeth, knuckles growing white from frustration. "I'll never understand some people," was all I said.

We drove in silence for a bit, until I pulled off the road in front of an outdoor skating rink just outside the city limits. "Do you know how to skate?" I asked. "Because if not we can go somewhere else."

He nodded. "I'm not the best at it but yeah, I can skate." I smiled, getting out the car. "Good. Because it would stink if we had to sit in the car all this time." The place looked amazing. White Christmas lights were strung around the trees that surrounded the rink, and gentle music played. A few couples skated here and there, but for the most part the place was empty.

We got our skates from the booth and put them on, Adam already seeming in better spirits and we hadn't even gotten onto the ice yet. He moved to my side and offered his hand, which I took and moved with him into the rink. I hadn't skated in a while and nearly lost my balance, but Adam held me up without a problem. We moved on the ice to the music, one of us falling every now and then. But we always laughed as we picked ourselves up, and eventually we fell into a pattern, and found ourselves talking.

"So what are you doing for Christmas?" he asked as we glided together. I considered keeping my plans to myself, but in the end decided it might be better off if he knew where I would be. "I'm taking a drive to New York, to visit my mother and brother's graves." He looked a little shocked at my confession. "Oh…wow," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's alright," I told him, smiling as best I could. It still hurt to talk about, but this was Adam, and he'd already proven to me I could talk to him about anything. Besides, he had entrusted his secret to me, so I figured maybe it was time to do the same with at least part of mine. "My brother, Corey…he died about six months after our sixth birthday. He had cancer, and just wasn't strong enough to win the battle. And my parents' marriage fell apart after that. My dad couldn't handle losing him, so he split. My mom broke after that. She started doing heroine after he left, and never got over her addiction. She left me with Grams, and took off for God only knows where."

I looked down then, avoiding his gaze. "She was found dead about a month ago. Cops did a drug bust on the apartment she was in, and found her already gone. They were able to identify her and buried her next to Corey." The wind picked up and stung my eyes as I continued, getting myself back together. "I didn't make it to her funeral, so I'm going to see them both Christmas morning."

"Danni, I'm…I'm so sorry," he said quietly. I shook my head. "Don't be sorry. It's life Adam. And believe me when I say I'm used to life throwing curve balls my way." I shrugged, trying to get back into a happier mood. Looking over at him, I tried to smile. "But for tonight, let's just think about the good things in life." I took a risk then, reaching over and taking his hand in mine. "Like being with people who are special to us."

He looked down at our hands, then back up to me with a smile on his face. "I like the sound of that." And with that, we returned back to skating. Neither of us said a word for a while, just enjoyed each other's company. Eventually the rink cleared out to where we were the only two left, and once it was clear, I called for a race around. "Loser has to buy the hot chocolate!" I grinned, and took off. "You're on!" I heard him call out, and we skated around without a care in the world. Until I lost my balance, that is, and ended up landing flat on my face. Adam toppled over me, and we ended up in a laughing heap on the ice.

"I warned you I wasn't the best skater in the world," he laughed as we repositioned ourselves to be sitting next to one another. I just smiled, shaking my head. "Lesson learned. No more racing, even in a completely empty rink." Even landing flat on my face was fun with Adam around. He was such a gentleman, I couldn't get over how someone like him didn't have a girlfriend already.

I leaned over, kissing his cheek softly. "Thank you Adam. For hanging out with me tonight." He looked caught off guard by the kiss, then turned my way. He tilted my chin up, and pressed his lips to mine. I hadn't been expecting that, but I returned his kiss without a second thought. Though for some reason, a very small part of me felt off about it, the rest of me was more than content. Adam had been there for me more than anyone else, with the exception of Anneliese, and he was gentle and caring. There was no reason not to give a relationship a try, if it was what he wanted.

When the kiss ended, he looked me in the eyes and smiled. I couldn't help but smile as well, even though I was freezing by now. "Seeing as I tripped, you technically won. So, how about that coffee now?" I asked. He laughed a bit and got to his feet, pulling me up along with him. Taking my hand, we got off the ice and returned our skates, while I bought us both a cup of coffee from the refreshment stand next to it.

After a walk around the rink to finish off our drinks, we got back into the car and I drove Adam back home. The house was dark now, and he seemed relieved. "You're not gonna be in trouble, are you?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nah. My mom's got her moments, but it's Christmas. She'll let it slide for that reason, if nothing else."

I was relieved to hear it, and I reached into the back seat, handing over his present. "This is for you. I hope you like it." He smiled. "Wait here." He ran into his house and returned a few minutes later, getting back into the car and handing me a small box. "It's not much," he said, looking down at his own gift. But I smiled, shaking my head. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"I could say the same to you," he laughed, looking back over at me once more. "Open it." I took the bow off and the lid, gasping in surprise at the charm bracelet glinting in the moonlight. Five silver charms, a crescent moon and four stars, hung off it, and I was at a loss for words. "Adam, this is…it's beautiful!"

"I saw it a few days ago," he told me, taking it out the box and clipping it to my left arm. "It just seemed perfect for you." I looked down at the silver bracelet, not sure what to say. "My present is nothing compared to this," I said with shame in my voice. "I'm sorry, mine really isn't much." He tore the paper off and grinned. "Are you kidding me? I've been wanting this game since the announce of its release! Thank you Danni."

At least he was happy with it. He took my hand once more and squeezed it, smiling over at me. "I really do love it. And thank you again for getting me out of here tonight." I nodded. "Anytime. I'll see you in a couple of days, ok? Tell Drew I said Merry Christmas?" He promised to do so and leaned over, kissing my cheek. "Good night Danni."

He got out of the car and I drove back home, falling asleep with a huge smile on my face that night. Christmas Eve flew by, with both myself and Grams busy with cooking for dinner after the service that night. We rode with her co-worker Angelina and her daughter Maddie, and to be honest, the service was nice. They told the Christmas story and everyone held a lit candle, and once the story was told, everyone had time to pray. Grams stayed there for the longest time, and I even said a few prayers myself. I was still unsure if I could call myself religious or not, but truth was, I really enjoyed the peace the service brought to my heart.

After it was over, we returned home. Angelina and Maddie stayed over to eat, and they enjoyed each other's company. I excused myself after finishing my plate and went upstairs, hoping Anneliese might be online. My contacts list showed she was offline, and I sighed, wishing I could talk to her. Especially over what happened the night before.

I closed the lid to my laptop and heard my cell ring. I reached over to my nightstand and saw Eli's number on my caller id. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach, and after a moment of hesitation, I hit ignore. I didn't really feel like talking to him, not that night. I turned the ringer off and turned out the lights, falling asleep after a while.

When morning came, I woke early. I agreed to open presents with Gram before my trip, so I headed downstairs to the living room where she was waiting with hot chocolate for the both of us. I gave her the picture frame first, and she wouldn't stop exclaiming over it. I then opened my gifts from her; a new messenger bag with GIR on the front, and a new purple jacket. Our Christmas was always simple, but we were content with all we received. I kissed her cheek, thanking her for the gifts, and headed upstairs to get my things for my trip. I saw I had a voicemail from the night before, and knowing it was from Eli, I chose to listen to it on my way back.

The trip was long, and quiet. I had plenty of time to think about things, and as I finally reached town limit of Buffalo, New York, I felt my heart begin to weigh heavy in my chest. I drove past our old house, slowing down to a stop just a few yards away. The small single story held a new family now, as I saw through the window from the street. The yard had a large oak tree with a swing hanging on one of the limbs. I remembered playing on it when I was a little girl, and always arguing with Corey about him taking too long a turn. And I remembered the time we were playing in the back yard and we found a dead squirrel, and how Corey had insisted we have a funeral for it. Just looking at the yard, and our house, made me miss him, and our family, all the more.

It took some time, but I finally drove along towards the cemetery. Snow had fallen the night before, and no one else had come into the cemetery yet from the lack of footprints on the ground. I maneuvered through the snow towards the middle of the stones, finding both of theirs without a problem. A small headstone with an angel marked Corey's resting place, and the newer, shinier stone marked my mother's. The sight of the two stones nearly broke me, and it took everything I had to stay where I was.

I finally got myself back together, and spoke to Corey first as I placed his new angel in front of the stone. "Hey baby brother," I said softly, kneeling down. "It's been a while, huh? I hope you aren't mad at me for being away so long. But I'm sure you know how complicated things have been lately." I sighed, taking in a deep breath of cold air. "I wish you were still here, Corey. I miss you so much. I have ever since the day you…" I couldn't bring myself to say it. "Went away. I got mad at you, for leaving me behind. I never understood what death really meant, until I lost you. But I never stopped thinking about you, or loving you. I know you're still with me, and I'm thankful for that much. And I know you and mom are together again, and I hope you're having all the fun in the world with her." I smiled down at the stone before standing once more. "I love you Corey. Never forget that."

Next I moved onto my mother's grave. Bitterness filled me then, as I kneeled before hers. I balled my hands into fists, my knuckles already white. I knew this was the chance to get things off my chest, and I wasn't about to hold back. "Hey mom…never thought we'd meet up like this, after all these years."

Looking down at her gravestone, I continued on. "I don't even know where to start. I guess the best place would be that…I don't understand. I'll never understand. How could you choose to let drugs take over your life? You were always so strong, you were the one who kept us together. When me and Corey got sick, you were there. You were the reason I kept going, when I was so scared that I was going to die…"

My anger began to emerge then. "And then you just gave up! I know dad broke your spirit, but why did you have to give in like that?! If you could have just held on mom…if you could have just held on, maybe things wouldn't be so hard now! Maybe you and dad could have worked things out, and we could have still been a family. We could be together, and you could be with me right now!"

I was shaking now, and tears streamed down my face as I let all the pent up emotions out. "I'm scared mom! I'm sick, and I'm scared, and I don't know what to do! I'm terrified that I'm not going to make it through this. I'm scared I'm not strong enough, and I'll end up like you did! I'm terrified I'm going to just give up, and leave behind Grams and Anneliese and Adam and Eli…" I looked through blurry eyes at her headstone. "I can't do this on my own…mom, I need you here. But you left me behind…and I'll never get the chance to tell you how much I miss you. And that I don't blame you for leaving me with Grams. I know why you did it…and for that, I could never thank you enough. And that I know how much you had to have loved me, to take me to Grams. You knew she could take care of me, when you weren't strong enough."

I was emotionally drained by this point, and as I wiped my eyes, I finally placed her angel in front of the headstone and got back to my feet. "No matter what mom…I love you. And you're still my hero. I'll always remember you at your best. Take good care of Corey, and keep watching over me."

I returned to my car and began the drive back to Canada, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders in the few hours I was away from home. I found peace with my mother's decisions, and that was more than I could have asked for to begin with.

I returned home safely by nightfall. Grams was out at the soup kitchen, and I decided to read up in my room. I remembered the voicemail I hadn't checked that morning, so I dialed my inbox. Eli had left the message.

"Danni, I…I know things aren't clear right now. But I need to talk to you. Not right now, if you don't want to. I'm willing to wait until after Christmas break. Just-" I didn't listen to the rest, but found myself deleting the message. I really didn't feel like hearing what he had to say. Was I wrong for it? Possibly. I didn't really care at that point. I just wanted to keep my life on the track it was going for the time being.

The next few days went by quickly. I spent most of my time with Adam and Drew, who couldn't stop gloating that he knew Adam and I were going to get together eventually. Though Adam kept jumping in and saying that we weren't official, I kept feeling like we were going to eventually get to that point. Whenever we were together, we eventually began to hold hands and sometimes he'd wrap his arm around my shoulders. It was nice, getting this kind of attention. Life seemed to be falling back into place, with two exceptions; Anneliese was still in Washington, and Eli wouldn't stop trying to call me.

I checked into Skype a few times, hoping to get a hold of Anneliese, but never could catch her online. I guessed she must be pretty busy in Washington, but in the back of my mind I couldn't help but wonder if she was trying to avoid me. I couldn't think of anything I had done to make her want to avoid speaking to me, but the worry constantly nagged at me. Adam kept my mind off it, but that worry always stayed at the back of my mind.

The rest of Christmas break passed quickly, and we returned to school on the fifth of January. I was dreading returning for the simple fact that I wasn't going to be able to avoid Eli forever, and I wouldn't have Anneliese to lean on. But I would make the best of it with Adam and Drew, and who knew? Maybe Bianca and I would get to be better friends too.

I walked through the snow to Degrassi just as Drew and Adam emerged from their mom's car. Adam waited for me to catch up and I smiled at him as we walked into Degrassi together. He began to tell me about how he was stuck on the level of the game I got him for Christmas as we reached my locker, when Eli emerged from the crowd. "Why haven't you picked up your phone?" He asked me. I shrugged. "Been busy."

I knew I sounded coldhearted, and I didn't care. I wasn't in the mood for it this early in the morning. "Look, we need to talk. I just-"

But I looked up, cutting him off. "WE don't need to do anything. Your girlfriend's back, your life is perfect again." The bitterness I had held back since the dance began to flow out, and I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted to. "I don't want any explanation from you, Eli. You kissed me, asked me if I loved you, and then ditched me the first chance you got! So congratulations, I'm out of your life now. You can stop trying to give me your excuses now."

The halls were quiet as people watched us. I didn't care if I was making a scene. I was tired of holding my tongue around Eli, and it was time I stood up for myself. Clare walked up then, going to Eli's side and taking his hand. "Come on Eli, just let it go. She's just being dramatic."

I snarled, glaring at her. "Don't worry, I was just leaving." Adam had me gently by the arm, trying to get me away from the two of them. "Danni, let's just go." He took my hand, and as I turned I heard Eli call out. "Adam? You and Danni-?!"

I didn't even give him a chance to finish. "Just stop!" I practically screamed. "You made your choice! Now I'm making mine." I reached up to my neck, where the guitar pick necklace lay. I had never taken it off before, but now? It didn't really apply anymore. Adrenaline rushing, I snatched it from my neck, breaking the hook that held it together, and throwing it to the floor. Without another word, I turned back with Adam and walked away. Everyone stared at me, and after the anger wore off, I felt my face turn bright red.

I took Adam into the empty auditorium, turning to him. "I'm sorry for that. He just…argh!" I let out a loud sigh of exasperation and anger, moving my hands to my head. "I just don't get him!"

Adam didn't say anything for a few minutes, but after I calmed down, he moved to my side and took my hands in his own. "Sometimes things can be complicated. But Danni, I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do," I said softly, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry. I lost my temper. I won't do that again, especially not with you around." He returned my embrace, kissing my cheek. "It's ok. Danni, I'm not the kind of guy who worries about things like that. Eli did you wrong, and I know he hurt you." He moved back, reaching up to move a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm not heartless. I know you have to get things like that off your chest." He leaned up and kissed my forehead. "Don't worry about it. You made your choice, and as long as you're happy with it, I'll stand by your decision."

I looked him in the eyes, and smiled gently. Taking his hand back in mine, I kissed his cheek. "I am happy with it. Promise." He returned my smile and kissed my lips gently, before the two of us left for class.

I knew people were talking about what went on in the hallway, but I ignored the rumors and nasty comments. It would all die out by the next day, I was sure. For the day I just focused on the new material being taught, and seeing Adam in the hallways between classes.

When the end of the day came around, I waited for Adam by my locker when I saw a familiar face moving past me. "Anneliese?" I said quietly, hardly believing my eyes. Was it really her or just someone who looked like her? I moved through the crowd and grabbed her shoulder. It was her, and instantly my day got three times better.

"You're back!" I exclaimed, pulling her into a tight embrace. "I can't believe it! What happened? Why haven't you been online to tell me?" I began asking her a million questions, but when I saw how distant her gaze was, I stopped. "Lise? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just…look, I have to go right now. But I'll explain everything later." And with that she moved past me, and I was left speechless in the hallway. What had happened to her, in the time she was in Washington? And why didn't she let me know she was back?

I had so many questions, but no answers. But for the next few days, every time I tried to call or catch her in the hallway, she avoided me. I just didn't understand why she was acting this way. But I continued for the next two weeks trying to get her to talk to me, until one day I got tired of taking the easy way around the situation.

After math class one day, I waited outside the door until I saw her pass me. She headed into the bathroom, and I followed her inside. "Alright Anneliese Rachel Tasker," I said, catching her off guard. She turned to me and I glared at her, hands on my hips. "You've been avoiding me for two straight weeks now, and I want to know what's going on."

"Danni, I can't-"

"No, you CAN!" I stated, standing my ground. "We're best friends, Lise! If you can't talk to me, who else can you turn to?" My voice and my face pleaded with her, by now I was begging for some kind of answer. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not!" She exclaimed, looking almost shocked that I'd say something along those lines. "Then what is it?" I asked, approaching her. "What could be so bad that you can't even tell your best friend?"

Her gaze dropped to the floor, and she avoided looking me in the eye. "I promise, no matter what it is, I'm still going to be by your side. Don't you trust me at all, Lise?" That was when she looked up, and I saw the tears in her eyes. "It's not you, Danni. I'm…after the dance, Sav and I…we slept together."

"Is that it? Lise, that's nothing worth-"

"That isn't it!" Tears slipped down her cheeks. "I'm pregnant Danni…I'm pregnant, and I don't know what I'm going to do!"

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I never in my life expected to hear those words come from the mouth of Anneliese Tasker. She was so level headed, so calm most of the time. And now…she was in hysterics looking so lost. I found myself crying with her, reaching out and pulling her into my arms. "It's ok," I told her, rubbing her back comfortingly. "How did it happen?"

"The condom ripped," she choked out. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to keep the baby, but I can't raise a child on my own!" I pulled back from her, wiping the tears from her eyes and taking her hands in my own. "You aren't going to be alone," I said with as much seriousness as I could muster. "Have you told Sav yet?"

She didn't answer me, so I avoided the subject. "Even if he wants nothing to do with you or the baby, you have me. You've been by my side through all the hell I've been going through, and I'm sticking right by you."

She shook her head. "I can't ask you to help me, Danni. It was my decision to have sex, I knew the risks. I just didn't think about them." I looked down at her, smiling gently. "You aren't asking me. I'm telling you, you're stuck with me. I may be lacking the boy parts to be called the baby's daddy, but you can sure as hell bet I'm going to be right there with you through everything. We're as close as sisters as you can get, and what kind of sister would I be if I made you do this on your own?"

Anneliese looked at me and pulled me into another embrace. "Danni…I don't know what to say." I just laughed softly, hugging her tightly. "You don't have to say anything. I'm right here for you, and that baby too. Don't you worry about a thing."

We stayed in the bathroom for a while, skipping lunch and catching up on all the things we missed out on. I told her about Eli and Clare, and Adam and I getting together. The news made her sigh in frustration. "If I wasn't pregnant, I'd beat some sense into that boy. He's not got much common sense, has he?"

I shrugged. "At this point, I don't care. Adam treats me right, and honestly, Eli and Clare deserve each other. Now, tell me how you convinced your aunt to let you come back to Canada."

It took a while, but she finally spilled her guts about James and her cousin, and the things they did to her. I gritted my teeth in anger, thinking if I ever saw the two of them, I'd be the one in jail for attempted murder.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, sighing a bit. "At least you're back here, where you belong. We'll get through this, together." She smiled up at me, nodding as we finally emerged from the bathroom. "Together sounds like a good plan to me."

Adam stood by my locker, smiling as he saw me walking with Anneliese. "It's good to see you back," he told her, walking by my other side, respectfully giving us our space. "Danni, did you hear about the open mic night at The Dot?"

I shook my head. "No, I hadn't. When is it?" It turned out to be the next night, and I felt excitement surge through me. "Well then, I say we go as a group! You know, just go out and have some fun together!"

Adam grinned. "Count me in. How about you Anneliese?" She looked hesitant, but I grinned at her. "Come on, you gotta go out and have some fun while you can!" She finally agreed, and as we exited Degrassi, I arranged to pick them both up beforehand. Once I got home I made the decision to finally sing in public. It would be just for fun anyway.

That night however, I kept waking up in the middle of the night. I battled violent rounds of vomiting and dizziness. It was as if my body was on a downward spiral like never before. I took an extra dose of my medication once I steadied myself enough to drink some water, and soon enough found myself sleeping peacefully.

I got to Degrassi late, having overslept a bit. Even though my medicine had helped me to sleep that night, the feeling began to get worse as the day wore on. I dismissed it as just nerves for the night to come, but the further the day went along, the more I began to question it.

I tried to keep my mind off it whenever I was around Adam and Anneliese during the day, and for the most part they didn't seem to notice I wasn't feeling well. Until that night rolled around, and we were all sitting at The Dot. I was waiting for my turn, and my head kept spinning. I drank some coffee, hoping it would help, and it seemed to keep the vertigo at bay. Adam squeezed my hand, smiling as my name was called.

"You got this," he said, and Anneliese grinned. "Go for it!" I smiled as best I could at them, and walked upon the makeshift stage. I had told the musicians which song I was going to perform, Do you by Carina Round, and thankfully the lead guitarist knew how to play it. He lead me in, and I opened my mouth, letting the words fly out. The song was perfect for my situation, with my cancer, and even though I didn't want to admit it, the feelings I still held in my heart for Eli.

As I was performing, I forgot where I was, and let my mind wander. I was in my own world, even with the hot spotlights burning into my skin, and my vertigo threatening to make a serious return. It felt amazing to just let myself go like that, and once the song ended, applause and a few cheers went up. I opened my eyes and smiled, but suddenly, something felt very wrong.

As I walked towards the stairs of the stage, I felt the blood rush to my head, and my entire body felt cold. Black dots began to form around the room, and voices echoed. I felt myself losing my balance, and falling down the stairs. I landed on the cold floor and felt darkness closing in. Someone ran to my side, and I heard screaming. As darkness closed in around me, I heard a faint cry of "Someone get an ambulance! Danni, stay with me-"

And it was then that darkness engulfed me, and everything fell into complete silence.


	25. 22 Change in Life: Frighten and Pissed

For the next couple of days I tried to keep a low profile with my activity on the computer. Every time that I would see Danni logged on, I would immediately log off; or if she called my cell phone, I just silenced the ringer so I didn't have to hear it ring. It's not that I didn't trust her with my secret, but I didn't want her to judge me because of my _situation._ Feeling somewhat guilty, I swung my feet over my bed and decided that it was time to get up and do something with my time. Walking over to the Chinese calendar that I hanging inside my closet, I searched for today's date and was surprised to see that it was Monday. Racking a hand over my tired face, I headed for the stairs so I could cook myself something to eat before getting dressed.

When I reached the bottom step of the stairs, the aroma of toast filtered through the air to my nostrils. The sweet smell of it caused my mouth to water and I knew that Nick had cooked my breakfast. Rounding the corner, I saw Nick, shirtless and wearing a white apron around his sweat pants, pulling out a pan of muffins from the oven. As he turned around, he gestured for me to sit down at the table with his eyebrows as he placed the pan on a cooling mat.

"Well, good morning sleepy-head." He said jokingly. "Want something to eat? I have made eggs, toast, grits, muffins, oatmeal, bacon, sausage, and of course there is cereal." He narrowed his brows slightly as he leaned his body forward, "But if you eat that over my home cooked meal, I will punish you!" Rolling my eyes, I propped one of my elbows on the table and sighed, "Easy tiger…I'm really grateful that you cooked, but I'm not all that hungry."

Straightening his stance, Nick moved closer to me before he bent down and placed a hand softly on my stomach. "You might not be, but your child is. So eat," he removed his hand and grabbed a plate, "or I will force it to go down your throat!" The corners of my lips lifted upward and then I shook my head, giving in to his stubbornness. "Fine, fine. If it's not too much trouble, I would like a muffin and some eggs."

With that, Nick gave a gentle smile as he danced around the room, swooping up some of the scrambled eggs and dumping them in my plate before he grabbed a muffin off of the tray. Placing the plate in front of me, he returned back to the counters to fix himself a plate and then joined me for breakfast. This was nice. I remembered having breakfast with my father every morning and I missed spending quality time with the ones that I love.

We finished eating, so I headed back upstairs to take a quick shower and change into a pair of jeans and a cute blouse though it was somewhat inappropriate to wear such clothing while I was pregnant. Once dressed, I heard a soft tap coming from the door, which caused me to jerk my head around to see my brother standing in the doorway.

"Nick? What's wrong?" I asked, flipping my hair over my shoulder. He took a step closer and then pulled an envelope from behind his back and held it out for me to grab. "I think you should pay attention to the sender." Folding my fingers around it, I took it out of his grasp and glance over the sender's address and that's when my heart stopped. With my free hand I covered my mouth because I couldn't believe that it was from the mental hospital that my mother was resided at. Flipping the envelope over, I slid my thumb underneath the sealed flap and tore it open to see a short letter inside.

_Anneliese,_

It has come to our attention that your father, {Natalie's ex husband} has passed away. We send our dearest regards and sympathy. However, we have not told your mother about your father since we thought that you would like to have the honor in telling her such private matters. She has asked about you quite often but due to your request, we have told her that you have busy with school. If it's not too much trouble, would you consider visiting your mother? We hope that you do. If you have any question please do not hesitate to call our office. Our number is on the other attachment along with our directions.

Sincerely,  
Abagail Stiles  
Head of Staff

Folding my fingers into my palms, I crinkled the paper in my hands and then tossed it to the floor. Nick cocked an eyebrow at me as he scratched his chin. "Bad news?" I shot him a glare, shaking my head. "Not exactly…"I snorted, cradling my abdomen with my arms. "The staff of the mental hospital wants me to visit my mother and tell her about Dad's death." He pressed a hand firmly against my shoulder, gently squeezing the muscles, "Um...I'm guessing you don't want to?" It wasn't that I didn't want to, but this was the woman that threatened me and I rather just keep my distance from her.

"I just don't want her to get angry with me again." I lied, sitting down on the edge of my bed. Glancing upwards toward the ceiling, I counted to three before I reached for my cell and dialed the digits of the mental hospital. Nick maneuvered over to the doorway, looking over his shoulder, and then stepped out, trying to give me a little privacy. After the third ring, a woman answered the phone and asked how she could direct my call.

"Um…yes." I rasped, "Is there any way you can direct my call to an Abagail Stiles?" A long silence came from the other side but soon broke when the woman punched a number on her phone and it started to ring once again.  
"Hello. This is Abagail Stiles. Head of Staff of the Mental Wing. How can I assist you?" Closing my eyes, I tried to bring myself to reply to the woman, but something became lodged in my throat. "Yes, ma'am. This is Anneliese Tasker. I received a letter in the mail about visiting my mother. I was wondering when I could come see her?"  
"Oh, hello there dear!" the woman's voice husked through the receiver. "I'm so glad that you gave us a call. Well, how about tomorrow around noon? Your mother would love to see a familiar face." A burning sensation filled the pit of my stomach and I couldn't believe that I was going to see my mother for the first time since she was committed. I plopped backwards on my mattress and pressed two of my fingertips against my forehead. I heard a creaking by my door and then felt my bed sank down.  
"Nick…you have a huge butt to sink me down this far!" I cracked an eye open with a smirk upon my face. Nick laughed as he lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "Well, maybe it's not my butt that's huge!" I grabbed the body pillow that was on the other side of the bed and wacked him with it. "That's not funny! At all!"

We continued to lay there for a few more minutes but Nick rocked his body forward and then left without another word. Rolling over on my stomach, I reached for my laptop that was on the nightstand beside my bed. I waited for it to load and saw that Danni was online, so hovered my mouse over the word 'invisible' so it would appear that I was offline. Clicking on the search engine, I typed in the words 'teen pregnancy' and found an article about a 16 year old girl and her time being pregnant. Learning about the side effects and the precautions that I had to take, made me wonder if I was doing the right thing. Should I be a teenage mother or should I have an abortion. Shaking my head quickly, I knew that I couldn't get myself to abort my baby. Ready or not, I was going to be mother within the next nine months. Lowering the lid of my laptop, I returned it back to its original place on the nightstand before cuddle against one of my pillows and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up in a cold sweat. My stomach had been pinching all night and I finally had to give in to my morning sickness. Once my composure returned, I flushed the contents in the bowl and washed my hands. I walked out of the bedroom and glanced over to the clock and noticed that I had just enough time to get dress and get Nick to drive me over to the mental hospital on the outskirts of town.

The hospital was like any other except for the fact that it was overly watched by security and it would make anyone go crazy. I approached the front desk and motioned for the closest employee that I could find so I could check in my appointment time. Soon after, I was guided back into a solid white room that had only one window, that had bars over it, and one table with a few chairs tucked away neatly underneath it. I sat down in one of the chairs closest to the door when a woman that I knew too well took a seat across from me. She had a peaceful expression across her face which gave her a different outlook about herself. She clasped her hands together and rested them on the wooden surface, but there was still something about her that made me uneasy.

"It's so nice to see you again, Anneliese." She volunteered. "How have you been?" Part of me didn't want to answer her, but the other part of me, knew that I had to. Forcing the corners of my mouth to lift upwards, I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled it in a smooth motion, "I'm OK. How about yourself?"  
"Oh, I'm doing much better. The doctors here have been helping me and I believe that I am almost there."  
"I see. Well that's good to hear." I lied, rubbing my palms against my thighs. Honestly, I was nervous as hell that she would be released before I had my baby. I knew what she done to me last time and there was no way in hell that I would let her do that to me again.

"So, darling, how is your father?" she questioned, cocking her head slightly. "Is he doing OK?" There it hit me square in the chest. I had to tell her about my father's death and just pray that she wouldn't blame me for it. "Actually…" I said, avoiding any eye contact. "Father…died. Earlier this month, he was in a horrible accident and died on impact." I hung my head low, the memories of my father rushing back to me. I felt a soft touch against my hand and glanced up to see my mother thumbing the back of my hand. "Darling…I'm so sorry. I was unaware about his passing."

Returning my hands back into my lap, I bit my bottom lip and then was taken back by what she said next. "I'm sorry Anneliese. For everything that I have done to you." Shrugging my shoulders, I opened my mouth to talk but she swayed her hand for me to hush. "No, listen. The only reason that I was so horrible to you was because of your sister's death, but that was no reason to be that horrible to you. I just hope that you can forgive me." When I nodded, she continued with her rambling. "Well, I'm glad that you came and seen me…just like your sister."

Widening my eyes slightly, I exclaimed, "Have you taken your meds today? Alexis is…dead." I should know. I was able to stop her from jumping behind the wheel of that car and driving off. I'm the reason that she died. Hearing a tapping noise coming from across the table, I shot my attention back to my mother. "No, no, no. Alexis isn't dead. I saw her! Today and you can ask the nurse. She'll tell you." Cupping the back of my head with my hand, I arched an eyebrow at the woman before me. _What the hell was she talking about? Was this some type of joke? Or…is she serious? Who would pose as my deceased sister?_ Pushing my lower torso backwards, I stood to my feet and headed for the door. I looked over my shoulder back over to my mother and gave her a small wave before walking to the waiting area.

As I waited, I plopped my elbow down on the counter and tapped the bell with my index finger multiple times before Ms. Stiles rounded the corner. She had a clipboard in hand and had her glasses tucked neatly away in her breast pocket. Laying the clipboard on the counter, she motioned for me to follow her into a private room to have an open discussion. After she shut the door, she gestured for the vacant chair, but I kindly declined.  
"I'm sorry to bother you at work, but I have a question." I said, crossing my legs as I braced my back against the wall. "My mother mentioned something about a girl visiting her earlier today. Is she right?" The woman walked over to the file cabinet that sat in the corner and then opened it, quickly searching for the incoming visitors for my mother. "Um…yes, she is right. About an hour before you arrived, an Alexis Tasker sighed the guest sheet."

Standing there dumbfounded, it took everything I had to swallow the fact that she said _my_ sister's name. I didn't know who, but someone forges Alexis' name and I was damned sure going to find who. Nodding my head, I took a step closer to the nurse and cleared my throat and asked, "Ms. Stiles, could you do me a favor? Is there any way you could describe that person to me?"

"I'm sorry Miss Tasker, I cannot provide that information." She said, replacing the file back in the cabinet. Cuffing my hands together, I leaned forward and locked my gaze with hers, "Please! I need to find out who that person was. My sister, Alexis, died last year and there is no possible way that that could be her!" The nurse's eyes widen from my statement, but she never faltered. "I don't think _you_ understand Miss Tasker! I could lose my job if I provide such information and I don't intend to lose my job for the likes of you! So I think it's best that you leave!"

Drawing my brows together, I shrugged my shoulders and decided that I should leave before I was forced to. I wouldn't let this go, not until I find out who is behind this. Stomping out of the room, I wrapped my hand around Nick's wrist and pulled him out of the hospital. My anger was boiling but I kept my mouth shut until I got home. Nick continued to ask me what was wrong the entire drive home, but I wasn't going to be selfish and make him worry about me and my family problems.

The rest of the evening was quiet and nothing too important happened except for my sickness getting worse. The downside of being pregnant was the vomiting all of the time. The next morning, I was awaken by my phone vibrating on my nightstand. Rolling over, I pressed the volume button on the side to silent the annoying buzzing sound. Glancing at the call Id, I noticed that it was the hospital's number and I quickly flipped it open and said hello.

"Miss Tasker" the voice said through the receiver, "I'm one of the nurses at the mental hospital that your mother is admitted to. I rather not say my name, but I just wanted you to know that the girl that signed the guest list was indeed an Alexis Tasker."  
Biting my lip, I held my stomach with my free hand and gently sat up. "Tell me that again? How can you be so certain?"

For a short time, a pregnant silence filled the conversation, but soon enough, the woman's voice broke that silence. "Well, when a new face comes around the hospital, we make them show identification. She showed her driver's license and it said Alexis Tasker." Cupping my neck with my hand, I rocked my torso forward and then backwards, fighting the nauseous feeling in my gut. "Is there any way you can describe her?"  
"Yes. She was a little shorter than you and she had medium dark brown hair. Her skin was very pale and she had a quiet spoken voice." For once in my life, I was at a lost of words. The description fit my sister to a tee but how could it be her when she died last year?

Ending the conversation, I got to my feet and headed towards the bathroom to take a hot shower. I needed time to think things over, but deep down inside I knew that there had to be some misunderstanding. Once I was done, I hopped out of the shower and slid a pair of dark blue jeans on with a light blue blouse that neckline was low cut. After brushing and styling my hair, I walked downstairs to the kitchen to eat the leftover eggs from the other morning.

I found Nick sleeping on the couch and I didn't want to wake him so I left a note stating that I was going to the mall to looking around. Since I wasn't even a month along with my pregnancy, I decided to walk the distance and that would allow my some time to think about everything around me. I thought about who could be visiting my mother and I thought about avoiding Danni.

When I reached the mall, I walked in and out of the different stores before buying a pair of jeans and a shirt that had the logo, 'I Love Canadian Guys!' written across the top of the shirt. I flipped my phone open and saw that it was about lunch time and headed for the food court to grab something to eat. After ordering a salad, I took a seat in the middle of the eating area and started to eat. When I was about done, I felt a tap against my shoulder and to my surprise it was Blake.

Dropping the folk in the plate, I stood to my feet and embraced him. "Hey you! What are you doing here?" I released him from my embrace, he took a seat from across me and a huge smile crossed his face. "I live here now. My father's job transferred him out here. What about you? Are you stalking me?" Rolling my eyes, I quickly sucked in a deep breath and declined. "No, this is where I was living before I went to Washington. My other living arrangements didn't work out, so I'm living here again." Blake's gaze never left my own and it made a warm sensation swell in my heart. He opened his mouth and then closed it as if he changed his mind.

"So…how do you like Toronto?" I asked happily. He shrugged his shoulders and turned the round dial on his watch clockwise. "It's OK. I have no idea where I'm going most of the time, but I guess that's what I have you for!" His smile broadens more and then he chuckled. "Maybe you could help me find the school I will be attending." I nodded, drumming my fingertips against the top surface. "Sure, what's the name?"

"Degrassi Community School. It's supposed to be a high school, but I can't seem to find it…anywhere." My eyes lit up when I heard 'Degrassi' and a soft giggle escaped my lips. "I attend there as well, so I can show you where it's at. Do you have some free time? I could take you there now." He agreed for me to show him and that's when he reached for my hand. "Let's drive. It'll be a lot faster."

He guided me to his car, which honestly, I was surprised to see such a beautiful ride. He dug in his pocket for the set of keys and pressed the button to unlock the doors. He opened the passenger's door for me and I couldn't believe that the door actually lifted upward. After sliding into the seat, Blake ran to the other side and hopped in and closed his door. The suspense that was building up inside me was about to burst and I had to ask my more dying question.

"What type of car is this?"  
"This is known as a HTT Pléthore and before you ask the next question, I just love yellow." He laughed as he brought the engine to life and pulled out of the parking lot. He followed my directions to a tee and before we knew it, we were outside of the school. He seemed excited when he saw the school's name across the front and he killed the engine and hopped out of the car. I followed suit and walked over to him. "So, what do you think?"

"Not bad." He husked, walking back and forth. "I think I will like attending her. So do you have any friends you could introduce me to?"  
"Yeah I have a few." I murmured. "I have my best friend, Danni, and then there's Eli. I could always introduce you to my ex!" Blake shook his head on the last one. "No ex's. Please!" We both laugh and then we got back into the car and he drove me home. I invited him inside, but he declined.

"Sorry. I have to head home and help my father." He said helplessly. "But, I was wondering, maybe you would like to meet up with my father and me tomorrow for the 1st." Biting my bottom lip, I closed my eyes and then quickly flashed them back opened. "Sure. I would love to. What time?"  
"Be ready by seven. We'll come and pick you up."  
We said our goodbyes and I headed inside and when straight up to my room to reminisce about my time with Blake.

As I waited for Blake and his father, I sat on the couch with Nick telling him about Blake and how I met him. He wasn't too kicked in the butt about me going out with Blake but he didn't stop me. When Blake knocked on the door, Nick followed me and shook his hand tightly before I pulled Blake away. I could only imagine what my brother was thinking and I didn't need him scaring the living hell out of my closest male friend. Blake helped me into his father's truck and that is when things started to get weird.

"It's nice to meet you Anneliese." the man spoke as he turned the wheel occasionally. "Blake talks about you all of the time." I cut my eyes over at Blake whose face was starting to turn red from embarrassment. "Oh is that so?" I said, jokingly punching him in the shoulder. Blake his father a baleful stare and the rest of the truck ride was quiet. About an hour later, we stopped and I glimpsed out of the window and noticed that we were in a park. Arching a brow, I was baffled why we were here for.

Helping me out of the truck, Blake took my hand in his and guided me over to a gazebo and motioned for me to have a seat. He then told me to close my eyes and when he told me to reopen them; he presented me with a red rose. Unable to say anything, I gladly accepted the rose and wrapped my arms around him.

"Thank you so much. You're so sweet." I whispered as I looked the flower over. Roses were my favorite flower and though the meaning meant love, I didn't think it applied here. When the sun yet, the night sky lit up with the most beautiful fireworks that I have ever seen and it made me relax, even if it was just for a moment. Every time one would pop, I would shudder slightly, but I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

"They're so beautiful…"I mumbled as I gripped the gazebo's railing. A gentle breeze blew and I heard Blake's voice say something, but I was uncertain what it was. I faced him and stared into his warm, brown hues.  
"Yes, you are." He repeated again and before I knew it, he pressed his lips to mine and I got lost in his kiss. When he pulled away I was disappointed and I wanted to kiss him again, but I didn't want to lead him on in anyway. Even though I enjoyed it very much, I didn't think that I was ready in any way for another relationship.  
Sadly, the night ended and I was home right after 1 in the morning. Nick gave me the third degree, but there was nothing he could say that would ruin my night.  
Over the next few days, nothing really happened except for my morning sickness, but I was already getting use to it. Well…not really, but I knew that it would continue to happen until my baby was born.  
The 5th of January was the first day back to school and I was somewhat excited but then again I was terrified. Afraid that I would run into Danni, I waited until the final bell rung before I went to my morning classes. The lessons were boring, but that's how most first days are. The rest of the day was a blur and I decided that I would head to my locker, exchange out my books and head for home, but it was too good to be true. As I made my way through the crowd of students in the hallway, I heard my name escape the lips of my best friend. I quicken my step, hoping she would not follow me, but I felt a soft touch against my shoulder and I knew that I was done for.

"You're back!" I heard her exclaim before she pulled me into a tight embrace. I remained still, hoping she would get the hint, so I didn't have to hurt her feelings. "I can't believe it! What happened? Why haven't you been online to tell me?" The questions continue to come but soon quit when she realized how distant I was from her. "Lise? Are you ok?"

Playing it cool I shrugged my shoulders and forced a soft smile upon my face, "Yeah, I just…look, I have to go right now. But I'll explain everything later." Without another word, I moved passed her and headed for home. There was no way I could explain to her about me being pregnant. She had enough to worry about and I knew that if I told her, she would worry about me.

The next morning I knew that the day would be hell. It was the first day that I would have to attend the Student Council Meeting. Honestly, I would rather pull my eyeballs out, but I couldn't allow Sav and Holly J to get the best of me. With a smile, I walked into the room and instantly saw Sav and Holly J cuddling in each other arms. Feeling disgusted, I sat in the closest desk by the door in case I had to run to the bathroom. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. Glancing backwards, I saw a girl with hazelnut brown hair and blue eyes cheerfully smiling at me.

"Can I help you?" I asked, feeling a little awkward.  
"You're Anneliese Tasker, right?"  
"Yeah…how can I help you?"  
"My name's Katie Matlin and I was wondering if I could help you with your plans in the next school dance." Pressing my lips together, I wiped a hand through my hair. "Oh, if Simpson allows it, sure. You're a junior, right?"

"Yeah. I love what you have done with this school and I want to run for President next year." She said, placing her hands in her lap. "I think you did a better job than the President that we have now." The corners of my lips lifted when she said that. Though I didn't wish any bad towards Sav, it made me better when someone compliments me and not him. I told Katie to swing by my house on Saturday and we could discuss some plans and then run them by Simpson.

When Saturday came around, Katie was at my house by noon and we discussed about planning a dance that had live music from an actual band and possibly having it where the photos would be professionally done. Time flew by and I told Katie to spend the night since it was already going for dark. She asked her parents and got the OK, so we stayed up late and gossip about the other students. The next day, she left quite early, which gave me some time to sleep in and coat my nausea.

The next couple of days, I did my best to avoid Danni and whenever she would call me, I would just ignore it. In reality, it seemed like I was being a royal bitch, but I truly wasn't. One day after German class, I felt myself getting sick and rushed to the bathroom when I became startled by Danni calling out my full name.

"Alright Anneliese Rachel Tasker!" she yelled, her hands on her hips as she glared at me. "You've been avoiding me for two straight weeks now, and I want to know what's going on." I didn't want to do this now. Not like this. "Danni, I can't-"

"No, you CAN!" she screamed. "We're best friends, Lise! If you can't talk to me, who else can you turn to?" When I didn't answer, she pleaded for an answer, but I still didn't say anything. "Did I do something wrong?" Shocked that she would ever think that she did something wrong, I exclaimed quickly, "Of course not!" She took a few steps forward and pleaded, "What could be so bad that you can't even tell your best friend?"

Sucking in a deep breath and exhaling it in one smooth motion, I heard her say something, but I didn't realize what exactly it was. My eyes began to water and that's when I decided to tell her everything. "It's not you, Danni. I'm…after the dance, Sav and I…we slept together."  
"Is that it? Lise, that's nothing worth-"  
"That isn't it!" I cried. I tried to stop, but they continued to fall. "I'm pregnant Danni…I'm pregnant, and I don't know what I'm going to do!"

Feeling so ashamed, I averted my hues to the bathroom floor, afraid what she might think. My biggest fear was that Danni would stop being my friend because my teen pregnancy. Wiping the tears streaming down my face with the back of my hand, I was caught off guard when she asked how it had happened. I did my best to explain to her that we did use contraceptives but it ripped. Panic rose in my voice, as my voice choked.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to keep the baby, but I can't raise a child on my own!" I cried, but before I could hide my face in shame, she wiped the tears from my eyes and took my hand into her own. "You aren't going to be alone." I could hear the seriousness echoing in her voice. "Have you told Sav yet?"

Cupping my elbow with my hand, I looked the opposite way. It wasn't that I didn't want him to know, but I didn't want him to be with me, just because I was pregnant with his child. I wanted him to be with me because he _loved _me. "Even if he wants nothing to do with you or the baby, you have me. You've been by my side through all the hell I've been going through, and I'm sticking right by you."

Her kindness took me off guard and a small smiled quirked upon my face. It was nice to hear that she supported me and would be by my side, but there was no way I could let her put herself at risk. Not for my mistake.

"I can't ask you to help me, Danni. It was my decision to have sex, I knew the risks. I just didn't think about them." For a second, there was silence, but Danni broke with a soft smile, "You aren't asking me. I'm telling you, you're stuck with me. I may be lacking the boy parts to be called the baby's daddy, but you can sure as hell bet I'm going to be right there with you through everything. We're as close as sisters as you can get, and what kind of sister would I be if I made you do this on your own?"

A feeling of relief overwhelmed me and I quickly pulled her into an embrace. There were no words that explain how I felt, but total gratitude. "Danni…I don't know what to say." I heard a soft laugh and we pulled away and said happily. "You don't have to say anything. I'm right here for you, and that baby too. Don't you worry about a thing."

After telling her about my pregnancy, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulder. As we talked, I leaned against the wall to take the strain off of my back and found out about Eli and Clare and how Adam and she got together. I was happy for them, but I was hoping that Eli would get off of his high house and finally ask her out. Sadly, Eli went crawling back to the girl that left him heartbroken and alone. "If I wasn't pregnant, I'd beat some sense into that boy. He's not got much common sense, has he?" I sighed in frustration.

She shrugged her shoulders and explained how Adam treated her basically like a princess and I was completely happy for her, but that didn't mean I wouldn't tell Eli's ass of later, either. I could feel the tension forming in Danni's gut so I changed the subject back over to myself. "The reason that I moved back to Canada was because of…James and John tried to do some awful things to me. Luckily, Nick came to Washington and saved me before they did anything." She sighed happily as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "At least you're back here, where you belong. We'll get through this, together."

After some time, we walked out of the bathroom and we saw Adam standing my Danni's locker. He welcomed me back with a tender smile and then turned his attention to Danni, asking her about her knowledge of the open-mic at The Dot. I was soon asked, but I was hesitant because I couldn't sing, well not well anyway. More like a dog that was sick. "Come on, you gotta go out and have some fun while you can!" Danni exclaimed. Shaking my head, I gave in and agreed to go. I knew that it would be fun since I would be there with Danni, but I just hoped that I didn't puke over everyone. After saying our goodbyes, I wandered through the halls until I found Eli with his arm wrapped around Clare's shoulders. Narrowing my eyes, I approached them and without thinking, sending my palm as quick as I could flying across his cheek. As I brought my hand back to my side, both Eli and Clare, stared at me with widen eyes.

"You, my kind sir, is an asshole!" I yelled and then curled my fingers into my palm, forming a tight fist. "And you!" This time I directed my voice towards Clare, "are a bitch that loves to ruin people's lives!" I could feel my blood pressure rising and that is when I felt a hand against my shoulder. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed that it was Adam's older brother, Drew. "Easy tiger! C'mon, follow me!"  
He gently turned my body around and then grabbed me by my wrist and pulled over to his locker. My breathing was still elevated and I had a lot more anger boiling inside of me, but for now, I would let my words set in.  
"You didn't have to intervene!" I snapped. "I can handle my own!"  
"I didn't say you couldn't, but you don't need to waste your time or energy on them. They are known as the makeup and breakup couple of Degrassi. Well, besides Sav and Anya."

I glared in his direction and then he knew that he mentioned _my_ ex's name. "I'm sorry…I forgot that you and Sav dated. Anyway…I actually was wondering if you could help me with something." He wiped a hand through his cropped hair before meeting my gaze with his. "Sure, with what?" Noticing that he bit his bottom lip, a soft laughed escaped my mouth. There was nothing that he could say that would bother me in any shape or form. "I know that you are in Calculus and I was wondering if you could help me with my basis 11th grade Math?"

I reached up and acted like I was stroking my chin in questioning, but I nodded. "I'll help you. I can't promise that I'll be a good teacher since Math is my worst subject, but I'll give it a shot." From my statement, his eyes lighted up and his brows arched. "When shall we meet? Say tomorrow?" Looking up at the ceiling, I tried to member what the day was and agreed. "Sure. Say meet me outside and my brother and drive us." After he agreed, I walked to the gym to see if there was any type of sports that I could join being pregnant, but of course, there was none. Sighing heavily, I moved towards the door to leave when I heard a whistle coming from behind me. We I turned to see who it was, it was a guy that had dark brown hair and had a decent looking hair cut. "Hello there beautiful!" Feeling flattered, I attended my hand, "Well hello there. My name's Anneliese. I don't think that we've met."

He took my hand and kissed it before he introduced himself. "My name's Owen Milligan and I think that we should hang out sometime." The corners of my mouth lifted and locked my arms with his. "Sure. Let's."

He walked me outside and helped me into his vehicle and drove us to The Dot. Apparently this is where all of Degrassi goes to hangout. I followed him to our table and sat across from him, hearing about all of the sports that he participated in. Since I loved sports, I did pay attention until he started talking about hockey. Never watched the sport so I didn't understand it. We stayed there for a bit more before we headed over to his place so I could meet his family; however, the only one that was home was his younger brother, Tristan.

"So, you're Owen's new girlfriend?" Tristan said, tapping the tabletop with his fingertips. Taken by surprise, I went to answer, but Owen stepped up and interrupted me. In my opinion, he took things too far with his brother. I could tell that Tristan was gay, and in my book, there was nothing wrong with that, but Owen acted as if he was ashamed. Pressing my chair back, I quickly got to my feet. "Owen, you need to respects your brother more. Just because he's gay doesn't mean you can bully him like that. You should understand how he feels instead of downing him! Don't call me!" I went to leave but stopped in my tracks and glanced over to Tristan who had a frown across his face. "Tristan, you can call me anytime." I jotted down my number on the piece of paper that was on the countertop and handed it over to him. I walked out and headed for home without saying another word to that jerk.

During the next day, I focused on my classes and tried to avoid Owen at all cost. The day was boring with all of its learning, and the most exciting part came when Danni, Adam and myself went to The Dot. Finally, Danni was called and I could tell that her nerves started to overwhelm her, but I shot her a smile, "Go for it!" When she got on stage, she told the musicians what song she wanted to sing and I could tell by the first cords what it was. It was _Do You_ by Carina Round, and Danni sung it beautifully. I knew that she was singing, not just because she liked the song, but because it fit her situation.

Once the music ended, everyone in the crowd gave their applause and I stood to my feet and yelled as loud as I could for her. She did great and she deserved to know how great she did do. When she opened her eyes, a slight smile rose to her lips, but was soon dropped. Drawing my brows together, I knew something was off, but I didn't know what it was. I decided that I would ask her when she got back to the table, but that is when everything went so wrong. She lost her footing as she walked down the stairs and fell, hard, on the floor. Covering my mouth with my hand, I ran to her side and reached for her shoulders, pulling her up in my lap. Tears formed and run down my cheeks onto her face. "Someone get an ambulance! Danni, stay with me-"

The next couple of days were pretty much a blur. I would get up, have morning sickness, attend school, and then visit Danni in the hospital. I knew that it was putting my huge strain on my body and mind, but I couldn't sit back and allow myself to go on with my life when she was fighting for hers. Raking a hand over my tired face, I closed my eyes for a mere second before I felt someone shaking my shoulders.

"Anneliese, go on home." The tender voice called out. "You need your rest. If anything changes, I will call you." Cracking an eye open, I looked over to Danni's grandmother, who herself was exhausted, and lifted a small smile upon my face. "I'm OK Grams. I'll stay a little longer and then I'll head home." The elderly woman nodded with understanding and glanced back up at the door towards the back hall. Clasping my hands together, I leaned back in the plastic chair and rocked my torso forward and backwards. The small amount of movements helped my nausea and with my extreme back pain, that was now creeping up and down my spine and legs.

Pressing the side button on my cell phone, the blue light lit up the clock and it showed that it was midnight. I was then reminded that one month ago I became pregnant and was now growing a miracle inside of me, but at that very moment, it didn't feel like it. I was sitting in a hospital lobby, waiting to hear the news about my best friend's health and sadly, I had no clue what she was in store for.

About an hour later, I said my goodbyes to Grams and headed for home. I didn't want to leave Danni in her time of need, but I had school the next day and I couldn't risk falling behind. Multiple times the next day, Adam approached me, full of questions, but I refused to answer any of them. I didn't want to be responsible for putting Danni's personal life out in the street.

From time-to-time, I ran into Sav and Holly J in the hallway, but shrugged it off as best as I could. My heart ripped every time I saw his lips on hers and I just wanted to grab her by her throat and choke her to death, but I knew in my heart that that wouldn't save a thing. Leaning against my locker, I banged my head a few times, trying to physically erase the memory from my head, but was soon stopped by a huge palm. Cutting my hues sideways, I saw Drew staring at me with his piercing eyes. "Anything I can do to help?"

"I doubt it." I snapped, pushing my body forward. "I hate to say it, but it makes me sick seeing them." Drew traced his fingertips over my shoulders before he firmly tapped it. "Don't worry about it." Before I could take note what he was going to do, he pressed his lips to mine and surprisingly, I kissed him back. There was something about him that calmed me down and made me feel content. Wrapping his arms around my back, Drew pushed gently backwards against my locker as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. A rush of blood ran through my cheeks and gripped a handful of his hand, squeezing the locks between her fingers. He separated his lips from mine, his mouth brushing against my neck. Stretching my fingers apart, I slid them up against his chest, feeling the bulge of his muscles through his shirt.

"Anneliese," he said as he nipped at my neck playfully. "I know we haven't known each other long, but would you consider being my girlfriend?" His question came as a shocker to me and when I gasped for a quick breath of air, his gaze lifted and met mine. Wiping my hand through my hair, I braced my head against the door of my locker. "Um…Drew…we don't know anything about each other…"

He took my hands into his and squeezing them, "Then let's get to know each other!" Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he cleared his throat and then said, "Anneliese Tasker, I want to know. Everything about you." Slightly frighten by his confession, I covered my mouth as I coughed and nodded. "Sure, why not." A huge grin grew on his face as he planted another kiss upon my lips.

We parted and he walked me outside and drove me home. He stayed over for a little bit, so I could help him with his math assignment and he discussed with Nick about the things that I liked and disliked, which was very weird. After sharing a few laughs, Drew went home and I had Nick drive me to the hospital. Searching the entire hospital, I finally found Danni's grandmother and found out that there wasn't any change in her health. Even though the doctors put her into a medically induced coma, I was still concerned for her. An hour later, I left so I could study for my test in German the next day and get myself prepared for my morning sickness.

Drew was outside, blowing the horn, waiting for me to come out of the house. When I finally hopped in the car, he drove off from the curb and drove to school, hardly meeting the speed limit. Turning the wheel into the parking lot, Drew killed the engine and placed his hand against my cheek, pressing his lips against my own. Each time that we kissed, more passion and more fire ignited within me causing me to want more from him. Forcing myself to pull away from him, I jumped out of the car and Drew reached for my hand, entangling it with his.

"You know, I can't get enough of you!" Drew whispered in my ear as we walked up the steps towards the school. "How did I get so lucky to snatch you!"  
"Snatch? Please!" I said, rolling my eyes at his lame comment. Then again, if Sav didn't breakup with me, I would have been with him still. A part of me wanted to be with him, but the other part wanted to be free from his grasp. Walking me to my first class, Drew kissed me quickly and then headed towards his own. The class period was nothing special except I learned a little bit more about English composition. Afterwards, I met up with Katie to go to Simpson and found out about the next possible dance. He agreed that we could have one, but it would have to be under supervision, which was fine by me. Even though I told her that I was busy, Katie arranged plans to come over to my house and work out the blueprints of the dance. My intentions were for Danni, but I couldn't just blow off Katie. Sucking in a deep breath and the exhaling slowly, Katie followed me to my house, where we would draw out the prints.

Baring down on a piece of paper, I felt my stomach twist and I could feel the vomit rolling off my tongue. I got to my feet and ran to the bathroom, ducking my head in the toilet, letting everything come out. Bending over, I tucked my head against my shoulders, rocking my body back and forth. I heard footsteps behind me and I knew that it was Katie. I hated for her to see me like this, but I knew what was coming next. Over the last week, Katie and I have been getting closer and I didn't want to lie to her about my pregnancy, but I didn't want anyone else in Degrassi to know about it either.

"Hey…are you OK." I heard her call out over my shoulder. Without looking back, I extended my hand and shook it repeatedly. "I'm fine." Again, I felt nausea and could feel the vomit burning in my throat. "You don't sound fine." She pulled my hair back and saw my weak, pallor face. "Anne, what's going on?" I tried to brush it off, but I caved in with her next constant row of questions. "Katie, I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone. And I mean anyone!"

She kneeled down beside me, placing a hand firmly against my back, occasionally rubbing it. "I promise. What is it?" Swallowing hard, I glanced up and drew in a deep breath, exhaling it smoothly. "Katie, I'm pregnant." Her eyes widen from the word _pregnant_ and she pulled her hand back. "Does Sav know?" since she knew about Sav and I dating, no wonder she assumed that he was the father. I shook my head and then hung my head low. "No, he's happy with H.J. and I don't want him to be with me just because I'm carrying his child." She nodded and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, helping me to my feet. A faint smile was on her face as she guided me to my bed. "It's OK. Your secret's safe with me. If you need anything, please let me know."  
Her words were so kind and knew that we would have a great friendship.

I decided to stay home the rest of the night and the next morning Drew picked me up for school. We had become an official couple and it was nice to have someone that cared for me in my life again. However, there was something that still eat away at my mind and that was the fact that I was indeed pregnant. What would happen when I told Drew? Would he leave me or would he understand? Raking a hand over my tired face, I knew that this was going to be hard either way.

"Drew, we need to talk." I murmured, avoiding any eye contact. He put the car in park and glanced over in my direction. "You don't want to breakup already, do you?" there was a hint of sadness in his voice which caused a sharp pain to jolt through my chest. "No, no. Of course not. But there is something I need to discuss with you before we get too serious." He arched an eyebrow and eased his hand on the top of mine, squeezing it gently. "OK. I bet it's not that bad, though." Turning my head slightly, my warm eyes met his blue hues and I mumbled the words out of my mouth. "I…I'm pregnant…" I thought that he would have reacted differently than he did, but in reality he was very calm. "Anne, it's OK. I like you for who you are and I will like your baby just as much." He said in a low, deep voice. "Sav's the father?" When I nodded, a smirk lifted the corners of his mouth. "I figured. You two were quite close. He's an asshole. Don't worry, you have me know and I won't treat you like he did."

After school, I went to the hospital to check on Danni, but I couldn't get any answers from anyone. I paced the halls waiting for someone to tell me something but since Grams was no longer there, they wouldn't tell me a thing. Cupping the back of my neck, I cut my eyes from side-to-side and snuck off to find Danni's room. There was no way in hell that I would just sit here and know nothing. Finally finding it, I peered into the room and saw a bunch of wires connecting to her chest and a few that was attached to her head. Reading over the machine, which I had no idea what it was saying, I sat in the far corner and began to talk to her.

"Danni, I know that it's hard…I know that you want to give up, but please don't. I need you…your Grams needs you…even Eli needs you…" a tear streamed down my cheeks, hitting my hands that was cuffed together in my lap. "There's so much that you still have to do. You're my best friend and I will fight alongside with you and I promise you that I will never give up. Never! Danni, I love you and-"

All of a sudden, one of the machine started to alarm and three people, dress in scrubs and a white coat, rushed into the room, checking her vitals and moving some of the wires around. One of them saw me sitting in the corner and pushed me out of the room. The tears burned my eyes and I watched them from outside the room, seeing the small amounts of blood oozing from a wound on her chest. Placing my hand against the glass, I folded my fingers into my palm and waited for the doctor that pushed me out to give me some of answer.

Momentarily, the same doctor that pushed me out approached me as she pulled the masked away from her mouth. From the look in her eyes, I could tell something was far from being right. Her eyes narrowed at the slight as she drew in a deep breath. "Ms. Tasker. I'm sorry that I pushed you out of the room, but I didn't want to chance Ms. Colvin's health." Nodding my head, I thumbed the back of my hand, forcing the words out. "Is…she OK?" The woman took a step closer and placed a hand against my shoulder. "She's fine…but…we have to make sure that she remains in her coma. Her cancer has gotten worse over the last couple of months and we are trying to find a course of treatment that could possibly help her. Just keep your fingers crossed."

With that, the doctor returned back to Danni's room to monitor her. The sorrow building up in the pit of my stomach, I flipped my cell phone open and called Nick to pick me up. When I got outside, I propped up against the wall, sucking in a deep breath when my train of thought was disturbed by a deep voice. Turning my head in the direction of the voice, the corners of my mouth lifted upward as I saw Blake walking my way. Tracing my eyes over his entire body, my smile broadens and I couldn't help but feel a bit better. "Well hey there, stranger!" he called out as he braced his back against the wall beside me. "What are you doing here!?"

Shoving a tired hand against my face, I explained to him that I had a friend in the hospital that was sick and I was visiting them. I made sure not to clarify who or what gender it was, just in case, the word got out at school. I didn't want to be the one that started the rumor or be the cause of it being spread. He arched a brow, his smile dropping into a frown. "I'm so sorry. Will they be out?"

Even when he was trying to be sincere, he was too adorable. Closing my eyes for a second, the first time that I met him flashed back into my mind and that is when tears streamed down my face. Surprised, Blake swung an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest. I tried to force my tears to stop, but everything came crashing down on my shoulders. First, my father dies and then I become pregnant. And now, my best friend had a chance of dying. The more I thought about each situation, the tears flowed even faster. Blake stroked my back gently with his hand, kissing the top of my head, trying to comfort me the best he could. We remained like that until Nick pulled up to the curb, blowing the horn. Wiping my tears away with the back of his hand, Blake released me from his embrace and quickly jotted down something on a piece of paper that he had in his pocket. "Here, take this." He said, handing over the wrinkled paper. "That is my new cell number. If you need anything, please call me."

Brushing my cheek with his fingertips, Blake walked away and then I was guided to Nick's truck. Once we got home, I went straight to my room and buried my head into my pillow, once again feeling the tears coming.

The rest of the month was the same routine, however, on the tenth of February; I received an unexpected phone call from the Mental hospital that my mother was resided at. Scratching my head, I answered the phone, unprepared for what was to come.

"Hello?" I asked, sitting down on my bed, waiting for the voice to speak through the receiver.  
"Yes. Hello. Is this Ms. Anneliese Tasker?"  
"Yes, it is. What is this regarding to, please?"  
There was a long pregnant silence but it was soon broken by a crackled voice. "Ms. Tasker, this is Abagail Stiles and I have…" the voice fainted away but soon returned with sorrow hinting in each word. "I'm so sorry to tell you, but your mother has…committed suicide."

Loosing my grip on my cell, I dropped it on my bed, panic hitting my square in the chest. _What the hell was going on? _I asked myself, afraid to actually know the truth behind my mother's suicide. "W-what happened?" my voice cracked as I spoke. "I'm uncertain how she did this to herself, but she sliced her abdomen open and hung herself from the banister with her intestines." The thought of my mother hanging by her intestines caused my stomach to twist and I feel the vomit swirling in a pool in my gut. Ending the phone call, I threw my phone over my bed and yelled for Nick. After telling him about my mother, he cradled me into his arms and whispered that everything was OK, even when it wasn't. I didn't understand why people always said things were going to be OK when it wouldn't be.

Hours later, Nick left to go to the store and that gave me enough time to take a hot shower and dry my hair. I ran my finger through my hair and then heard the doorbell ring. I walked downstairs and grasped the knob and turned it clockwise. Drawing my eyebrows upward, my eyes widen from who was standing in front of me. "What…the…_hell_?" I yelled.

"What's wrong, Anne!? Won't you invite your dear, beloved younger sister in?"


	26. 23 Change in Life: Don't Give Up

I have no idea how long I stayed in the dark. For a while it was impossible to fight and I stayed lost. There was no light, or sound. No sense of anything, really. But then I heard a voice, barely audible. It told me to fight, that I was needed. It wasn't so much what was said, but the honest plea coming from whoever it belonged to. It gave me hope, and strength. So I began to fight.

Little by little, light and sound began to return. I could hear Grams' voice clearly, and a few others I didn't know. Eventually I got strong enough to feel and sense touch again. At times I would feel someone take my hand and while I still couldn't move yet, I would scream out in my head that I knew someone was there, and that I was still there with them.

Finally, the day came. I made the dark disappear for good.

Mustering every ounce of strength I had, I opened my eyes. My vision was blurry at first, and everything was white. But after a moment or two, things cleared. I recognized instantly where I was; a hospital. Something had happened, but I couldn't remember what. No matter how hard I tried, nothing before the dark came back to me.

"Danni?"

When I turned to the door, tears instantly sprang to my eyes.

Grams...

She dropped whatever had been in her hands and moved to the bed, throwing her arms gently around my shoulders. "My god sweetheart! I thought you had left us!"

I tried to speak but something blocked my airway, causing me to cough and choke. "No no, don't panic," she whispered, wiping her eyes as she stood fully. "It's just a feeding tube, love. Let me get a doctor." She rushed out, and not a moment later unfamiliar faces entered the room. One removed the tube while others checked monitors and my vital signs.

"Your throat will be sore for a while, Ms. Colvin," the man who removed the tube said as he handed me a glass of water. "You've been out for quite a while."

"How l-long?" I managed to croak out before I had to stop speaking. It hurt too badly at the moment.

"Since the seventeenth of January," Grams said from the doorway as she waited to come back inside the room. When the doctors left, she came back to my side with a notepad and pen. "It might be easier to write until your throat feels better. I know you're bound to have a lot of questions."

So I did as she said, and I wrote down everything that came to mind.

What happened to me?

Grams hesitated for a moment before speaking, taking my hand in hers. "You were out with Anneliese and Adam, at The Dot. You collapsed, and took a hard fall. The ambulance got you here, and the doctors ran tests. The cancer...it's spread. They had to do immediate surgery to try and remove the masses as best they could. And while they were searching for a medical treatment, they induced you into a coma. If they hadn't, you would have been much worse off..." she had to take a moment and get herself recomposed, and continued on after she wiped her eyes.

"You nearly didn't make it, Danni. Several times I was told to prepare myself for the worst. All I could do was hope and pray that you would get the strength to fight. And now...darling, the fact that you're awake is a miracle in itself!"

I swallowed and nodded, before writing the next question. I needed to know, how long it had been.

What's the date?

"It's March twelfth," Grams said quietly, looking towards the window. I was in shock. Almost two months...I had been in a coma for almost two months. But in a way, I told myself, it was a good thing. I could feel a slight pain along my chest and knew that was where the doctors had to have performed my surgery. Had I been awake, the recovery would have been much more painful. I didn't know if I could have handled that. Taking a deep breath I wrote the next question.

How much longer do I have?

It was the one question we both wanted to avoid. But I needed to know.

Grams hesitated, biting her lip before speaking. Her voice broke when she spoke.

"I don't know, my love."

I knew then, without a doubt, that I wasn't going to make it this time. The wires sticking out of my chest and the monitors were the only things holding me down now. Were it not for them, I felt like I would just disappear into nothing. I was destined to have a second date with death. The question remained though; was I going to survive this time around?

_

Dr. Devon came in a bit later, after Grams told me of what all had happened since I was in the hospital. Anneliese had hardly left my side, she told me. No one else had come by though, and the only ones who knew why I was in the hospital were Mr. Simpson and my teachers from Degrassi. The students had no idea what was going on.

"I can honestly say, you're quite the fighter," Dr. Devon smiled as she came in. Grams sat by my side and held my hand, keeping me calm. "We didn't expect you to wake so soon, but I'm very glad to see you like this."

"Doc," I said quietly, my throat still raw from the feeding tube. "Can you please be honest with me? I can take the news. I just want to know how long you're giving me."

She didn't say anything for a minute, and looked from my chart and back to me. "In all honesty? It's a miracle for you to be alive right now, Daniella. Now that doesn't mean you're living on borrowed time, nor does it mean that you're out of the woods yet. Your cancer has advanced greatly, and while we were successful in removing a good bit of it, this type of Leukemia is aggressive. It could come back at anytime, and with a vengeance."

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Every word out of her mouth right now seemed to say 'Sorry kid, you're doomed.'

"However," she continued, looking at me with kind eyes. "Over these last few months, I have personally looked into every treatment option available to us. I have something I would like to try. It's a mixture of medications you take from home, and two treatments of advanced chemo a month. It's been shown to dissipate your same cancer in simians in medical testing. And I have high hopes that it will help you to beat this."

I looked from Grams back to Dr. Devon, assessing the news I just got. Grams seemed hopeful, and so did the doctor. "What are the odds for her?" Grams asked.

"Without the treatment, slim to absolutely none. But with it," she looked at me with a smile in her eyes. "Danni's odds of complete remission are eighty to ninety percent."

I knew without question then, what I would do. "I'm in."

_

Later that night, after Grams went home upon my insisting she get some real rest, I laid in my hospital bed and thought to myself. I was going to beat this cancer. I was determined to.

Reaching over to the table by my bed, I picked up my hospital phone and punched in a familiar number. The ring barely began when a voice spoke from the other end.

"Hey Lise," I said into the receiver, a smile on my face. It was good to hear her voice again.

"D-Danni?" she sounded shocked, and I couldn't blame her.

"Yeah, it's me," I replied, and I could almost sense her happiness from the other end. "Can you come down to the hospital? I got moved out of ICU today."

"I'll be there as soon as I can!"

The line went dead, and I had to laugh softly. I couldn't wait to see her, it felt like it had been forever. And the same could be said for the wait for her to arrive. But the second she came into the room, it was like time never passed at all. She threw her arms around my shoulders and I hugged her tightly. No words were needed. We knew what each other were thinking without saying anything at all.

_

Eventually we began to talk about things. I eyed her growing belly and laid my palm against it. "Wow..I can't believe it still," I said with a soft smile. There was no doubt all of Degrassi would know by now about her pregnancy. I just hated I hadn't been able to be there like I had promised I would.

"It's a girl," I grinned, leaning back against my pillow.

"Like you can tell that now," she laughed, shaking her head. But I shrugged and smirked. "My track record says otherwise. Call it a sixth sense."

It felt so great to be able to talk and laugh again. I had no idea how much I had missed it and I swore right then to never take these little moments for granted ever again.

We grew quiet then, and I knew where the conversation was going. "Danni...are you...did they tell you if you were..?"

So I told her everything that Dr. Devon had told me, and that I was taking the treatments. "I have to stay in the hospital for a couple more weeks, to get weaned off the IV's and things first. And I have to come in for group therapy for a while when the treatments start, but otherwise they're telling me to live my life as best I can."

Anneliese didn't say anything for a second, before smiling with a brilliant look in her eyes. "Alright. So we'll do this; You start your treatments at the beginning of April, right?" I nodded and raised my eyebrow. "Where are you going with this?" She continued then. "You're gonna beat this and be in remission before summer. Because come the first week of June, you have a very important date."

Oh no, I knew where this was going...

"Come June third, Miss Colvin, you will be walking into Degrassi Community School's senior prom. And you're dancing, having drinks and the time of your life." She pointed at me as I began to protest. "I don't care if I have to waddle my very pregnant butt onto the dance floor and do the Cupid Shuffle with you in flats, you're going. End of story."

I had to giggle at the image that statement produced, but I felt better with her encouragement. Could I be in remission by then? As far as I was concerned, anything was possible right now.

"Alright then," I smiled, shaking my head. "You've got yourself a date."

"Good," she smirked, and pulled out her phone. "Now sit back and relax. There's a few people I know who are dying to see you. You up for it?"

I nodded. The truth was gonna come out sooner or later. It was time to let everything go, and start living it up.


	27. 24 Change of Life: Revealed

How could this be? It wasn't possible was it? No, I must be dreaming.

Standing before me was the all too familiar face that I knew so well just a year ago…my younger sister, Alexis. Though her appearance has changed a bit, the soft features to her face remained the same. Quickly blinking my eye repeatedly, I tried to make sense of this, but how could I? There was no way this could be real. My family held a funeral for her and everything so why was she smirking back at me right now. Was it my guilt finally eating away at my soul or…what?

"C'mon sis, it's quite rude of you to let your baby sister stay outside." She said, pushing her way past me. My eyes followed her every movement until she plopped down on the leather sofa, making herself very comfortable. "So this is where you live now, huh? Nice."

I took a few steps into the living room until I stood in front of her, "H-how are you here?" From my question, she whipped her attention back at me and cocked her head. "It's quite simple really, Anneliese." She smoothed her palms against her thighs and then cleared her throat. "You see, our dear Father had many secrets and this was just another one added to his webs of lies." Lies? What did she mean by _many secrets _or better yet _web of lies_? My father was far from perfect, but one thing was for certain, he didn't lie…not to me anyway.

I continued to stare at the girl sitting across from me as I sucked in a deep breath and then slowly exhaled it. "How dare you come into my house and try to bullshit me. I don't know how you did this, but you have some nerve ripping up old wounds that haven't been healed and to pretend to be my sister…that's just messed up. As for my father, you don't know a damn thing about him. So if you don't mind, leave. You're not welcomed here." I extended my hand towards the door, waiting patiently for the brunette to get up and walk out of the door. When she didn't, I narrowed my eyes and snorted, "Do I have to call the cops and get them to escort you out or will you leave voluntarily?"

The poser stood to her feet and looked over her shoulder at the family picture of my parents, sister, and myself and then back at me. "You know, I always wanted to be you." She took a step towards me, her voice almost a whisper, "I was jealous of you. Beautiful. Smart. Popular. Everything I have ever wanted, but was shaded by your accomplishments. Just once I wanted to be better than you and I made a horrible mistake. In a horrific result, I nearly died and you lived with endless guilt." The girl silenced as she slid her hand into her large purse, shifting through its contents before pulling out a large yellow envelope and then handing it to me. "Read it. Everything I speak of is inside."

As I thumbed the paper of the envelope, the brunette left, leaving me utterly confused. Making sure she was gone and then locking the door, I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, keeping the envelope in hand. Did I really want to open it? I knew the answer to that question and without a second thought, pulled the prongs upward and pulled the contents out.

Papers…massive of papers. Each one had different information and data on them but there still were so many. I quickly skimmed over the first five papers, discovering different withdraws and deposits that my father had made over the last fifteen years to different women recipients. The only name that was circled belonged to a Christina Lewis that lived in the same neighborhood as my family years ago. Apparently she had lived three houses down from us and was a client of my father's, however, things went sour. I flipped through the next few sheets of paper and couldn't believe what I was reading.

"N-no…it's impossible…"I mumbled to myself as I reread the paper. My breathing had become rapid without my knowledge and I felt nausea knocking against my stomach once again. I placed my hand against my mouth, choking down the liquid that was trying to escape my throat. I didn't know if I was sick from my pregnancy or from learning the semi-truth behind my father's deception.

"By the recent DNA test, our records show that the child named, Anneliese Rachel Tasker, is indeed Natalie and Howard Tasker's. However, when it comes to the child named, Alexis Marie Tasker, is indeed Howard Tasker's but when it comes to the mother, Natalie is not a match. With further detail and test, we discovered that her mother, Christina Lewis, died giving birth."

I remain in denial for the next couple of minutes until I heard a soft knock coming from behind me. Shifting my gaze, I saw Nick standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "You okay? You look like you saw a ghost." When I didn't reply he knew something was wrong. "Wanna talk about it? My ears are open so you can pour your soul out."

I sucked in a breath and blew it out in a quick burst, "Father had an affair a year after I was born and Alexis doesn't belong to my mother, instead to another woman I never heard of." Nick's expression didn't change as if he expected that from our father. "Nick…you don't seem surprise. How come?"

"Well, think about it." he said taking a seat across from me. "Dad has multiple children with different women. I came from an early marriage that lead to divorce and then your mother married him and had you, but Alexis is now another woman's child. Then Nichole is Dad's with my mom so it's not like he's the faithful type. To answer your question, I'm not the least bit surprise. Just disappointed."

Nick had a good point and I hated the fact that he was right. For once, couldn't he have been wrong. Easing my hands down to my stomach, I cradled it gently as I changed position in my chair. "In any case, I still have over half of these papers to look at so I'm going to eat dinner and head up to my room to finish."

Hours later, I found myself still reading the huge stack of papers. I have already learned so much that I could have lived without. However, the one thing that I couldn't wrap my head around was the fact that my father help stage my sister's death. My life became a living hell over the last year and all this time, she was alive. Living in Virginia with her mother's sister, unable to get in contact with me or anyone else she knew for that matter. Just because he had an affair with another woman, he couldn't be a real man and tell my mother the truth. Before long, I rolled over on my bed and glanced at the clock, noticing that it was five in the morning. There was no point getting ready for school with no sleep under my belt. I would stay home and sleep in for awhile before I went to visit Danni. It was hard to believe that it had been over a month since I last saw her beautiful eyes and smile. The doctors had to put her into a medical induce coma to remove the advancement of her cancer. I tried to be there every day with her, but her Grams told me to stay home some to get some rest due to my pregnancy, but how could I leave her there alone. She was my best friend and like a sister to me and I can hardly bare to see her with a plastic tube running down her throat. Placing my fingers against my scalp, I started to move them up and down to massage the soreness away. With school, Danni being in the hospital, my father's death, my mother's suicide, my pregnancy, and now learning that my sister is actually alive, I haven't had time to properly take care of myself. Closing my eyes for a second I felt myself falling into a deep sleep that was well deserved.

********************************************************************

My eyes flashed open at 2PM from the extreme pain in my stomach, which was then followed by nausea. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, quickly hovering over the toilet. I was only a month pregnant but the nausea seemed to get worse with each passing day. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I flushed the water and then wandered back into my bedroom to grab my phone. I needed to go to the hospital and check in on Danni, but with Nick at work and me without a ride, it was sort of impossible.

An hour later, I heard the front door open and knew that my brother was home for lunch and it was my perfect opportunity to get a ride. I quickly went downstairs and caught my brother with a young woman cradled against his chest. Standing there in awe, I cleared my throat to get their attention and when he saw me, he froze. "H-hey Anne…what are you doing home." He rambled. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Um…I didn't get much sleep, so I stayed home."  
"I see…well this is Parker Gaskins. She's my co-worker and we were going to have lunch together."  
The blonde extended her hand and shook mine before saying hello. She seemed quite nice, but there was something about her that didn't click with me. "I hate to bother you, Nick, but I was wondering if you could give me a ride to the hospital on your way back to work so I could visit Danni."

The woman wrinkled up her nose at my request and was surprised when my brother agreed to take me. I guess she had other plans than spending them taking me to a hospital. With a smirk, I walked outside to his truck and crawled in as I wait for them to finish doing whatever.

Shortly later, I was inside the hospital sitting beside Danni's bedside. All of her levels were normal or at least for the time being, but it still wasn't the same. The doctors didn't give me an answer about how long they intended to keep her in the coma or anything about her current condition since I wasn't technically family. Her Grams tried to fill me in, but I could tell that she tried to watch what she said to me. "Danni, I know you can hear me. You have to wake up soon…please remember that I'm here for you."

Days went by and things didn't seem to change, except for my growing belly. I hated gaining weight of any sorts and did my best to only eat what I had to. So far, no one had picked up on anything and I was very glad for that. The last thing I needed right now was for someone to spread rumors that I was a whore. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I sleep with everyone I see. More days continued to go by and then months. Before long it was March twelfth, one of the best days of my life.

I was finishing up some details with Katie about the prom which was only a couple of months away when my phone started vibrating. Sliding off of my bed I grabbed it and then said, "Hello?"  
"Hey Lise."  
"Danni?" I exclaimed. It had been forever since I heard her speak and missed her voice very much.  
"Yeah, it's me. Can you come down to the hospital? I got moved out of ICU today."

I told her that I would be there as soon as I could. I ended the call and looked up at Katie, "I hate to call this short…but I have to go. Danni just woke up."  
"Really!? I'm so glad. I've been worried about her. Do you need a lift to the hospital?"  
I nodded and she grabbed her purse and I followed her to her car. Katie hopped behind the wheel and backed out of the driveway onto the road, heading towards the hospital.

By the time we got there, I jumped out and headed for the recipient's desk, asking for Danni's room. After being directed to the right room, I grabbed the knob and turned it clockwise, Danni's face coming into view. Tears stream down my face when I saw her beautiful eyes awake and alert. It had been too long since I last saw any type of reaction out of her. I quickly ran to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to me.

As time passed, we talked about my pregnancy and how she believed it was a girl. That thought made my heart melt, but it was still too early to actually tell. However, I knew from that moment, that if it was a girl, she would be connected to Danni in some way. The corners of my mouth lifted upward as she discussed the details of her six sense. It was good to see her happy once again, but I couldn't help think about her sickness and the advancement of it. I needed to know if the doctor had given her any options or odds.

"Danni…are you…did they tell you if you were…?" I managed to choke out, holding back the hot tears. I hated to ask that question or even mention it, but I had to know. I wanted to be here with her through it all even if it didn't end well. She was my best friend, no, that's not right. Sister was a better word. She had been there for me through everything since meeting her and I would not turn my back on her.

She explained what her doctor had told her and how she would have to stay in the hospital for a couple more weeks and then therapy. My gut quenched as she spoke. I hated feeling like there was nothing I could do for her. I swallowed hard and then whispered, "Alright. So we'll do this; you start your treatments at the beginning of April, right?" When she nodded I continued, "You're gonna beat this and be in remission before summer. Because come the first week of June, you have a very important date. June third, Miss Colvin, you will be walking into Degrassi Community School's senior prom. And you're dancing, having drinks and the time of your life."  
Giving me a reassuring smile she replied, "Alright then, you've got yourself a date."

I gave her a warm smile and whipped my phone out and sent out a group text to all of our friends and family telling them about Danni and her current condition. For the last month and half, I have been dodging bullets with Eli and Adam, but now a huge weight would be lifted off of my chest when the truth came out. Shortly after sending the text, I received one back from Eli, Adam, and Drew. All three mention about coming up to see her, but I insisted that they didn't until tomorrow after school. I spent a few more hours there with her before getting a ride home with her Grams.

Once home, I grab something quick to eat and a shower before heading to bed. I had to play catch-up tomorrow at school and finish some ideas for prom with Katie, which I was looking forward too. I thought about becoming a planner of somewhat after graduation, but my plans may be altered a little.

The next day I went to school and discuss the plans I had for prom with Katie and went to the hospital with Eli, Adam, and Drew after school. It was good to see Danni smiling once again, though all three boys were trying to make sure she had everything she needed. Eli even had enough nerves to track down a nurse and argued her to bring more pillows. As the day went on, Adam and Drew left, then Eli, and then myself. On the drive home, I thought about the upcoming month and how difficult and afraid Danni must felt, but this time she will have all of us with her. Eli drove up to my house and put the car in park, "Anneliese, do you think she'll do fine with her treatments?"

I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, "I hope so…" I didn't know what to say. I opened my door and walked inside, glancing once over my shoulder to wave at Eli before heading to the couch. Taking a seat, I sighed heavily, wondering if she would do well this time around. I already lost so much and losing her would destroy me. My thoughts were disturbed by the loud bumping sound coming from upstairs. My eyebrows narrowed and I slowly got up, grabbing the fireplace poker. Gripping it tighter in my hand, I maneuvered up the stairs to Nick's room. Easing my hand to the door knob, I heard the loudest moan and drop my hand from the door. "That's something I didn't need to hear."  
Shaking my head as I carried the poker with me to my room before crashing for the night.

Over the course of the next few days, I managed to finish the plans for our senior prom and had some time to talk to Drew about breaking up since I was unable to spending time with him. Though he fought me on the subject, he lost. I didn't have time to be a girlfriend and he deserved much better. When the first of April came, I ran into an old friend, Blake Vanderbilt. He wrapped his arms around my shoulder and gave me a lift to the doctor to find out the sex of my baby. I have been back and forth to appointments before, but this one was nerve-racking.

Sitting in the waiting room, Blake eased his fingers between mine and gave a soft squeeze, "Hey, it's going to be okay. You're going to have a healthy baby." I gave a smile but it dropped when my name was called. Walking down the long hallway to the back room, my heart felt as if it was going to beat out of my chest. Doctor Smithe came in shortly and helped me lay backwards. "Okay Miss Tasker. I'm going to put some of this jelly on your belly and then roll this around to get the image to pop up on the screen."

"O-okay…" I mumbled softly. When she squeezed the jelly on my stomach and rubbed around, I was speechless to see a small form on the screen. "That there is your baby." The corners of my mouth lifted forward into a huge smile. "Oh, my…"

"Oh, Miss Tasker." Doctor Smithe stopped the ultrasound for a moment before rolling around once again. "I thought I was correct. Miss Tasker, congratulations. You are having twins. One of each sex."  
My eyes lit up from the word _twins_. I couldn't believe it. When she printed out the ultrasound for me, I wandered out of the room in a daze. "Blake, I'm having twins. A boy and a girl." He pulled me against his chest and brushed his lips over mine. He guided me to his truck and then drove me to the hospital to give the news to Danni.

I sat down beside her bed and placed my hand over hers, "Danni, you were right. I'm having a girl…and a boy." 


End file.
